Newbie-My Situation.

Hi.

I am 21 years old and have suffered from a severe phobia for the last 7 years. I last went 7 years ago. I was a teenager who saw an awful NHS dentist that was male-he wasn't very good with people especially children/teens or anxious patients. He was also French. He never actually caused me any pain just was very unpleasant and terrible with me, as seeing him made me anxious. However, He broke a needle in my mums mouth and did a shoddy filling that broke up when she rinsed in the chair! To my knowledge he is still practicing. Since last going 7 years ago I couldnt walk past a practice, anyone talked about dentists I would leave the room or change the subject.

About two weeks ago I had a twinge. I tried to ignore it but I knew I wouldn't go away and could see there was a problem and it would need a filling. I burst into tears when I told my husband that I had toothache and knew that it was time to face my fear. The following day we went down to a local practice where he was registered. I managed to walk through the door, just, then I saw my neighbours in there! My husband said to the receptionist that my wife would like to register here and then he asked about sedation costs-the receptionist wouldn't give a starting cost and seemed to have no sympathy. After a couple of minutes I just burst into tears and ran out of the practice. Since that incident my husband has now moved over to the practice where I am, which is private and NHS.

We then remembered that there was a newish practice at the bottom of the road we lived in (how I tried hard to forget that was there!). We wrote a letter that night and put in through their door. The next morning they emailed us back. They invited us on the Saturday morning for a chat with herself (practice manager) and dentist, who was female (phew!). The time leading up to the day I could barely eat, I had stomach ache and could think of nothing else. When we got there, they were so supportive and took things at my pace and I even sat in the chair and then she had a quick look round! I was re invited the following Saturday for a check up and x-ray. I went back yesterday for that and she has seen that I will most likely need 3 fillings. However, she wants me to go for an OPG, which I am not too happy about (I went back yesterday for an x-ray, so I didn't get sent to the hospital!) I will have to wait and go for that until they will do anything. I am rebooked for 18th for scale and polish but I just wish they would sort the fillings out-I have never had one before and am very anxious, however I just want them sorted. I don't want to seem pushy but I cant bear the fact that I know that I need them done and I am fearing they will get worse in the time I am kept waiting for them to do them.

My husband has been very supportive, or as much as he can be about the whole situation. It is a tricky subject for us especially me, as he was born with a Cleft Lip and required extensive maxillofacial and dental work. It is hard for us as he has faced professionals for alot of his childhood, through no choice of his own and I couldn't even handle routine visits. I am a long way from being over this phobia, but I have come a long way in the last couple of weeks.

Good for you for making that appointment!! I wish this site was around when I was 21 (I'm 45), I never would have had all the dental problems I had!!
Once you go to that appointment, you will feel SO PROUD of yourself!!
When I went to my first dental appointment last year (my FIRST one in over 20 years), although I was petrified, after it was all over, I felt a sense of accomplishment!!
Good luck to you as you continue your journey to dental health!!
I look forward to reading more of your story!!
Best Wishes,
Jen

hi
my name is emma im 25 and need lots of work doing myself and i too am terrified im sure yr husband is going to be a great support it takes time for someone who is not phobic to understand believe me!! i found a good way of making my sister understand today i thought of something my sister is phobic about ( Needles) and said you know how absolutely terrified you are so much so she nearly always passes out well thats how i feel about the dentist all the time! i think it worked shes texted me twice to see if im ok about my appointment on wednesday already !

all the best

emma

Aw well done on getting this far already! Sounds like you have found a nice practice which is more than half the battle.

I think once you set the ball rolling. wondering what's going on in your mouth is almost more worrying. I had to wait a month between my first examination and my treatment and I think i was more scared in that month that something would deteriorate or go badly wrong, than I had been the whole 21 years previous, when I avoided going!

Have faith things are not likely to deteriorate rapidly in the next few weeks and maybe express how you just want to get going with the fillings, to your dentist and maybe they will fit you in a cancellation or something if you live so close? Or at least they can reassure you why things are unlikely to get much worse too fast.

Oh and

Hi.

Yesterday I mentioned the OPG that the practice wanted me to have done. I rang up the hospital to arrange it this morning, however things did not go to plan. They said that I would need to bring up the referral form to them-fair enough. They said that the next booking would be 17th (day before my next appointment)-I was reluctant to wait that long, as they only offer 3 appointments each Friday but because of the bank holiday this Friday I couldn't do it then. I said that I next had an appointment the following day (18th April) and would need to take the x ray on with me. They said that I would have to pay for it! I was stunned, I told them it was ticked as NHS and they said I would still have to pay. I left it and got back to the practice who implied it would be covered on my NHS fees to them, if I knew I had to pay I wouldn't have paid for an x-ray at the practice. They still want me to go. I paid out £30 for examination and x-ray last week and am not prepared to pay for another x-ray. I am worried that if I dont they wont commence treatment!

What should I do? If you are in UK and have NHS would especially be grateful of your input.

hi again
the nhs really is rubbish isn't it im having to go private for all of my treatment there just aren't enough nhs dentists especially not ones who know what to do with a phobic!! I paid £35 at an nhs dentist ( i am entitled to free dentist treatment!!) i had to pay cause there are no nhs places left the £35 covered just the urgent examination he sent me to my local hospital for the x-ray which was free ive never heard of an nhs hospital charging for an x-ray for anything you really need to double check this before you fork out any more if your lucky enough to have found an nhs dentist you shouldn't have to pay !!

let me know how you get on

all the best

emma

Hi Emma

Thanks for your reply. It is the principal more than anything-I paid for the x-ray and check up and they want me to go the hospital and they have the cheek to ask me to pay! I am fuming about it all! Im not paying for another x-ray when I paid out £30. The practice has been so helpful but I just want the treatment out of the way now-I am seeing a private dentist with costs that are currently compromised between private & NHS. I am worried they are taking this whole exposure therapy style too far. They want to give me a scale and polish next week before dealing with the problem in hand. I am getting so sick and tired of the stress of all this I have now developed a stress enduced cold

I just want the treatment over with, but there is no sign of this happening.

Have NEVER heard of an NHS hospital charging for an X-ray..think there has been some misunderstanding....would still be surprised but was she only saying you had to pay if you wanted it more urgently than the appt she originally offered?
I suppose it's possible that as a private dentist providing private treatment is the one referring you to an NHS hospital for a high-tech x-ray that they charge you a private fee...30 pound doesn't seem overpriced for a hightech x-ray but I accept it is a principle at stake here..maybe you should concentrate on getting sorted out and try to sort out a refund (if there has been a mistake) later.
Your dentist seems to me to be treating you the best way...if you are not in pain...correct procedure is to clean and then do restorative stuff...it is best to do new restorative dental work in a healthy mouth i.e. a recently cleaned mouth. If you are in pain, they should be looking to alleviate that first so you should discuss the order of work with your dentist and state your preferences.
We had one poster a while back who had a rumbling toothache which eventually needed a root canal whose NHS dentist sold her home bleaching at her check-up instead of dealing with her pain....I was amazed..who'd want to home bleach if they had toothache?
You've actually made great progress in a short timescale

Please don't worry about the fillings..you will be fine..especially with a kind dentist like you seem to have found.

About the OPG-I have been thinking about that. When I initially weent in I made enquiries about having my top wisdoms out (so that I had less teeth to worry about going wrong-being over cautious). They told me I would need the OPG to look at that. The following week I emailed the practice and told them that I was not having any problems with them and that I was being overcautious and then the practice manager emailed me back with an appointment for an x-ray at the practice. When I went in on Saturday it was never talked about, the email I sent saying that I no longer wanted to go ahead with the removal of the top wisdom teeth as I was being paranoid/over cautious. Something is telling me that the practice manager never passed on the email/mentioned my change of heart to the dentist and that is why i reckon they are still sending me-A lack of communication.

I am now very miffed and if they are waiting for OPG to look at the wisdom teeth there is no reason why they cannot commence the treatment I went for in the first place.

AngelStar said:

About the OPG-I have been thinking about that. When I initially weent in I made enquiries about having my top wisdoms out (so that I had less teeth to worry about going wrong-being over cautious). They told me I would need the OPG to look at that. The following week I emailed the practice and told them that I was not having any problems with them and that I was being overcautious and then the practice manager emailed me back with an appointment for an x-ray at the practice. When I went in on Saturday it was never talked about, the email I sent saying that I no longer wanted to go ahead with the removal of the top wisdom teeth as I was being paranoid/over cautious. Something is telling me that the practice manager never passed on the email/mentioned my change of heart to the dentist and that is why i reckon they are still sending me-A lack of communication.

I am now very miffed and if they are waiting for OPG to look at the wisdom teeth there is no reason why they cannot commence the treatment I went for in the first place.

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I think you just simply need to clarify the dentist's intentions by email or telephone and take it from there. You have a role in the decision-making too. The message not being passed on would be par for the course most anywhere, so don't hold it against the actual dentist.

I decided to take action. I was unhappy about the practice that was dealing with me after a while and decided to go elsewhere. This afternoon I saw a male dentist, which i initially was unsure about (however he is my husband's dentist and is very gentle and good with phobics). He said he can do the fillings next week. However, I will not be having sedation despite the fact he is also a sedationist because it came with a price tag of around £130! I will just have to keep still and really keep calm. The price for treatment is higher than I thought, not suprising as it is a private practice but it could have been a whole lot worse-I think I was lucky. I have been told that once I have had this work done I can go on a policy, that way I will avoid any unexpected suprises in the future and if I wont be paying out for treatment like this I should be able to afford sedation, as other than the policy fee that should be all I would have to pay out for.

I will now have to tell the other practice that I just couldnt hang on-I just don't know what to say.

I have decided not to start a journal as hopefully I will be going in once for the work and that will be it, over.

I am now very anxious as it is the night before my treatment. My family don't know I have been and am due for treatment. My sister had treatment yesterday at an NHS practice and she published on her Facebook that she was still in pain after having her filling done, once the anasthetic wore off-I'm terrified that will happen to me. I'm scared something will go wrong and everyone will know I have been because I will be in so much pain or have a swollen face. I will be paying enough out I cant afford for anything else to go wrong (my worst fear is that things wont go to plan and I will be landed with a root canal, which I couldn't afford). I am trying not to panic but I have never had any treatment before and D-Day is tomorrow

I did it! - I had treatment. Things were better than I thought. When I went last week the x ray showed I would need 3 fillings, but he never actually looked in my mouth. When i got there he had a look and decided that he was not going to do the fillings as such. From what appeard to me he air abrasioned them and either fissure sealed or put in a composite once he had removed the early stages of decay. I now have a dental policy in place and will be going back in 6 months (something I never thought I would say). He said that he will keep an eye on the work he had done and if need be he will then carry out any full fillings. I barely slept all night, I was dreading "the drill" and then I didn't need it (well at least for the time being)

Hello Angelstar, that's brilliant news. I' m sure you're relieved at being able to just have fissure sealants. Hopefully all will be O.K when you go back in six months. Keep in touch.

Thanks. It sounds awful to say that after going and actually facing some form of treatment I feel better, psychologically more so than physically. It sounds so stupid but knowing I have had the outstanding problems addressed it makes me feel clean and I now feel happy and confident enough to kiss my husband again. I will now be making myself go every 6 months, especially now that I have set up a monthly payment plan. I have no way near got over this phobia, I feel I have just made it more bearable and less likley to affect my life in the way that it had. Without the support I have had from the forum I don't think I would have the courage to go back in a dental environment after 7 years of avoidance.