• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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Hello from a relieved denta-phobe...

L

LadyShade

Junior member
Joined
Apr 14, 2009
Messages
5
Hi everyone,

...I'm a 23 year old woman who went to a downright sadistic lady dentist at 7 and has been once since (as an emergency - I had an abcess :shame: ). I'm so relieved to find other people who know what it's like to have a panic attack in the waiting room, etc...

The lady dentist...that woman was a :devilish: ! She hit my gag reflex, which made me :sick: . That made me cry. She tried to send my Mum out of the room and got snappier and snappier the more scared I acted. In the end Mum got me out of there and lodged a complaint about the woman. I don't think she liked kids. And there began The Fear.

I used to have a needle phobia, but overcame it through the use of meditation techniques after I was very ill last year and had to have a lot of blood tests and a couple of injections. So at least one aspect of the dentist is less scary now.

However, I'm still afraid of the pain, the loss of control, the embarrassment (my teeth aren't in a happy place, I am convinced I'll get some awful lecture and feel even more inadequate re: tooth health than I already do), the possibility of a panic attack (had three when going to have the abcess treated), my twitchy gag reflex, and, most of all, that the dentist will once again be a torturer in disguise - like some creepy villain from a Roald Dahl book or a Japanese horror movie (The Ring :scared: - Japanese people really know how to do terrifying!)

It's so great that there's an online community for this - it gives me hope that one day I'll walk into a dentist's surgery and come out with a (healthy) smile on my face.
Because at the moment I'm on the verge of tears just thinking about it. Embarrassing to admit, but I guess you folks out there understand the power of The Fear.

Thanks for reading my relieved blah-ing!
LadyShade x
 
hi :welcome:
i love yr refernce to villans !! I met one when i was little he was a super villan too!! My experience with him put me off for life and when i found this forum i was like you terful in pain convinced i would never see a dentist well ive made a start now ive managed to find a really kind dentist who see's me as a challenge and is going to help me all the way. He wasn't the first dentist i tried i didn't like the first ones attitude at all or what he recommended he didn't have time for me at all so after talking to people on here i decided to try another one and found my nice new dentist!! anyway my point is ( yes there is one) Try a few dentists first send an e-mail or phone as k about phobics and if the dentist is good with them even pretend to be calling for someone else if you like and when you find one where you like the answer go and have just a chat if yr not impressed dont go back and start again you've got nothing to lose this way and you might be surprised like i was if you find a nice dentist prepared to take things at yr pace and help you
let us know how it goes
all the best !!
emma :)
 
Hello ladyshade

I understand how it feels to have a dentist that is uncaring and abusive. I had one of those in my youth. Thought dental pliers and probes were a behavior modification tool for children :o

Childhood traumas have a way of hanging around and continuing to effect us. From what you describe the lady dentist was abusive and cruel.

Dentistry and dentists are light years of where they were when you were a child. Dentistry can be pain free. Dentists do not lecture any more. That "motivational technique :mad:" is not used any more.

You will not receive any lectures on the condition of your teeth. They are concerned about restoring your dental health and restoring your smile.

As to the control issue. I can understand your feelings given the treatment that was forced on you. Here is the good news. You are not a child anymore. No one can do anything to you without your consent. You have the right to choose.

You can interview the dentist and see if they work for you. If you ever feel uncomfortable or that you are not being treated correctly you can get up and leave. You did not have these options as a child. Treatment was done to you without your input.

Please do not be embarrassed by your anxiety and fear. This is a result of lousy treatment and the lack of human decency. You did not ask to be abused, it is not your fault.

You are cleaning up someone else s mess that was left in your life. They should be sorry not you.

You have made tremendous progress. managing needle phobia is very difficult and it seems you have done an outstanding job. You learned to control the response by using your own skills and resources, awesome!

You have the ability to overcome the dental fear as well. Take the process one step at a time. Remember you are in control. There are many dentists that are sensitive to people that have anxiety and fear.

You are going to beat this. I have watched many many people beat their phobias. You have the ability to do this.

I know you can find a dentist that you can work with. It might take some time and research but you can find one. There might even be some good referrals for dentists in your area from this board.

You are going to achieve the smile you want. You have taken the first important steps to overcoming this fear, well done.

Blessing to you. :)
 
Hi

I can speak as another young female (21), who has a bad experience. I saw a very nasty French man who was NHS when I was a teenager. He had no patience and didn't seem to care about anyone who was anxious. After that and one or two other visits (forced upon me by my mother) I neever went back. I went back into the dental environment two weeks ago after avoiding it for 7 years. I have to go back for 3 fillings and am petrified-I have never had any treatment before.
I just want to say that you are not alone, I thought I was until I found this forum-without it I don't think I would have been able to re enter or try and think about the whole dental environment rationally. I have come a long way, but I am still not there yet.
 
Sorry to hijack, but one of the responses made my ears prick up.

"Dentistry and dentists are light years of where they were when you were a child. Dentistry can be pain free. Dentists do not lecture any more. That "motivational technique :mad:" is not used any more.

You will not receive any lectures on the condition of your teeth. They are concerned about restoring your dental health and restoring your smile."


Can you explain a bit further? Last time I let a dentist near my mouth his assistant had to leave the room (her choice, not mine). It's why, on days like today, I sit and tell the abscesses to 'bring it on' rather than go have the actual problem solved. I do like my mouth to look good and I am horrified at what people see, especially people who know what they are seeing!
 
Good Morning Englishkeymaster:

To begin. Thanks for your idea and work on the chatroom idea. I know setting this up takes work and time.

As to my statement. Healthcare professionals take a somewhat detached view of the problems they encounter and treat. We are trained to do this in order to be able to take an objective look at the issue and arrive at the best solution.

After your first couple of months in any of the healthcare disciplines you get to see almost anything you can imagine. You look at the problem with detachment but at the person with empathy.

They are placing tremendous trust in you and frankly this is an honor. After 20+ years I am still in constant awe of their trust. It is an amazing privilege to experience this. I want to do my best to live up to the trust.

Occasionally, I will encounter a problem that is somewhat different. I usually think, "This is interesting" I do not judge people by their problems or challenges. I know many people in the medical and dental field and across the board this is true.

I understand that there is an aspect of anxiety that causes a hypersensitivity to our condition. If someone had to leave the room I can guarantee it was due to a problem they are having not with you or your condition.

When I was sorting out my dental problems I thought my condition would be one for the record books. I could see my self on the cover of the ADA monthly magazine with the caption, "Can you believe this!"

My dentist took a look and said, "I though you said this was horrible. Minor issues, no big deal." I talked with him afterwards and asked him if this was an ego strengthening technique. He reply was, "What's ego strengthining ?"

He added. "Problem teeth are not a surpirise. I am a dentist these are what I was trained to fix. I am more concerned with what is the best treatment to provide that is cost effective and has lasting benefits. I do not even see the teeth as related to you or your personality."

That reinforced that my perception was based upon my own anxiety and fear. It did not come from him.

I hope this helps. Blessings to you.
 
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