• Dental Phobia Support

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Trapped and terrified!!!

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brewer734

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 17, 2009
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385
Location
nottinghamshire england
the best option?

hi my name is emma and im 25 i am absolutely terrified of dentists due to very bad experience when i was a teeneager. anyway last week i had really bad tooth ache at night so much that i couldn't lay down and had to sleep sitting up i know my teeth are really bad cause they are all broken off thanks to 2 battles with anorexia. I finally went to the dentist today first time in 10 years and he had a quick look with just a mirror and me standing up i was sobbing he said he thinks i will need 6 teeth out!! and som fillings as well as a big filling on my front teeth he said he will tell me more when i have been for an x-ray which i had tonight now i am waiting for nest appointment. My question is this is general anesthetic the best option for me he also mentioned sedation clinic im not sure how effective this is though and not really heard much about it which would you recommend for a severe phobic i mean really bad phobic. also my aunt had a filling done on her front tooth and two years later she needed it doing again due to decay setting in im so scared and don't know what to do im terified of having teeth out but if i managed that part i would like to know its over then but if i have to have my front teeth repaired as well then its just going to go on for months and months should i consider ( not that i want to ) having all my top teeth out under ga and getting it done with that way when im in the room with the dentist i cant breathe let alone speak making it hard to ask these questions any help would be so much appreciated has anyone had experience with needing so much work done which type of sedation is best ? thanks emma :(
 
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Re: the best option?

Hi Brewer734
I'm not a dentist and I did a long reply to you earlier and then lost it when my battery crashed. I can't reproduce it easily so this will be a bit briefer....first off :welcome: and congratulations for going along to see a dentist despite your fear :jump:. It is obvious from what you have said that you do have a phobia but that doesn't mean with the right approach you couldn't accept restorative treatment maybe with the help of some kind of sedation method (there are lots of different types of sedation see here)
BUT GA would be too drastic simply because it limits the type of treatment you can do (mainly extractions) so no I wouldn't think for a moment that GA and extraction and get a (partial) denture is a good option. You would probably regret it later.

You also mention 'sedation clinic' again if this is NHS sedation, this could again primarily involve extractions unless it is through the Community Dental Service so you need to be very clear on what is being proposed and the very real pros and cons of each option before you decide. You should also ask yourself whether you'd fare better with a private dentist good with anxious patients who is willing to go at your pace and work at gradually overcoming the phobia and using i/v sedation for treatment in the meantime.(Yes i/v sedation is extremely effective at helping those anxious about dental care or about particular dental procedures to receive treatment. You can also do a lot of work at one sitting as time passes very quickly to the sedated patient).

It's hard to tell from your account whether the dentist was kind and supportive or not...you certainly don't have to stay with the first one and you always have options. Have a read in the Common Fears and Help General Info sections and you will probably find it will give you a better idea of how you may like to proceed...you can be in control of the process if you choose to be best wishes :grouphug:

NB Your teenage bad experience can be avoided if you choose the right dentist with painfree techniques. Having general anxiety and anorexia under control may be key to making the best decision for you dentally so maybe you should involve your GP also. They could provide oral sedation to relax you more but then so could your dentist.
 
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Re: the best option?

Excellent advice Brit.

The choice of sedation depends upon many factors. But there are options that will work. Your poor experiences as a teenager need not be repeated.

Dentistry has come a long way in a few years. You might email your dentist with your concerns, if this is easier for you than trying to relay this face to face.

You have made some very big steps in making and keeping these appointments, well done.

Once you know you options you can decide the best choice for you.

All the best :)
 
Re: the best option?

hi again thanks so much for replying the dentist im under is very good he is used to nervous patients and my 8 year old daughter thinks he's great i would only trust someone very kind with her but that doesn't help me the man could be a saint i'd still be scared stiff of him ! im not sure wheather im on the nhs yet because i had to pay 35 pounds for the first appointment so i think its private but he also treated my friend and moved her onto the nhs as soon as he could so i think thats what he usually does. anyway my mum dropped off the x-rays to him this morning and i have got an appointment next monday to talk some more so im not sure what he will suggest next ( i say talk that means me cowering near the door ready to run). i didn't know there were different types of sedation i have definately got to have 6 to 8 teeth out at the back so i need to be as unaware as possible there is no way i can sit there knowing whats going on has anybody got any experience with sedation and how effective the different types are? really appreciate all your help many thanks again

emma :respect:
 
Re: the best option?

That sounds better then..he's definitely a 'good guy' :-*lol.
You really should have your discussion sitting down on say normal chairs...in the staff room maybe..away from the dental equipment if you are that nervous...that way you stand at least a chance of participating meaningfully.
:hidesbehindsofa:
If you are having extractions and he can refer you for GA in hospital then you would be blissfully unaware BUT you are bound to need some restorative treatment which could be done under i/v sedation..does this particular dentist do i/v sedation though or would he have to send you elsewhere? he may be able to do NHS treatment under i/v sedation but you pay a private fee for the i/v sedation since the NHS fee is ridiculously low sth like 45 quid and doesn't cover costs at all.

What exactly are you afraid of? There are loads of sedation accounts on this forum, in the success stories section for example.
Most posters strongly recommend it and say they wouldn't hesitate again but many aspire to eventually have more minor stuff done with just TLC from a kind dentist they trust and local anaesthetic.

The better informed you are about what is possible, the better quality decision you can make for yourself so keep reading and asking questions. Good luck.
 
Re: the best option?

Hi again
thanks so much for replying ok what im scared of most if i really try to seperate it out number 1 is teeth out ever since i was at school and a girl came back spitting blood then the horrible incident with my old dentist giving me injection which didn't work and then carried on drilling anyway if that hurt that much teeth out must be worse ( i don't like the E word dentists use for taking teeth out) :censored:
The dentist did mention something about there being a sedation clinic quite near here not sure wheather he means for the teeth out or restorative work cause i was too distraught to listen but he also mentioned ga too. If i knew sedation worked really well and i wouldn't feel or remember anything i would probaly go for that but if not then yes g a would be better although i don't like the sound of the ultimate risk some site users refer to associated with this. I just don't know anymore im scared of all of it i really need to be able to stay calm when i see him on monday so i can try and work out the best option but i don't know how i can do this
thanks again for listening
emma:(
 
Re: the best option?

Hi again
thanks so much for replying ok what im scared of most if i really try to seperate it out number 1 is teeth out ever since i was at school and a girl came back spitting blood then the horrible incident with my old dentist giving me injection which didn't work and then carried on drilling anyway if that hurt that much teeth out must be worse ( i don't like the E word dentists use for taking teeth out) :censored:
The dentist did mention something about there being a sedation clinic quite near here not sure wheather he means for the teeth out or restorative work cause i was too distraught to listen but he also mentioned ga too. If i knew sedation worked really well and i wouldn't feel or remember anything i would probaly go for that but if not then yes g a would be better although i don't like the sound of the ultimate risk some site users refer to associated with this. I just don't know anymore im scared of all of it i really need to be able to stay calm when i see him on monday so i can try and work out the best option but i don't know how i can do this
thanks again for listening
emma:(

If you need lots of teeth removed and you wouldn't have to wait ages to get a hospital GA, then this would be a reasonable choice for you to make....any further restorative treatment you could then follow up under i/v sedation or TLC from right dentist and oral sedation/just LA.
Any combination is possible and your decision will depend on what you feel you could cope with and what's available in your price range/on NHS within a reasonable timescale.

Given that your dentist seems to be very sympathetic, if he guaranteed never to proceed with any work if you were not completely numb and he would keep asking you if were ok and would stop immediately if you raised your hand....giving you control....would you be able to proceed?...do you see that what happened to you before was not the norm, that dentist committed an assault if you asked him to stop and he didn't (you could complain about that to GDC still) and no one would object to you taking a support person into the treatment room if you wanted who could intervene on your behalf if your wishes were being ignored (which of course they wouldn't be anyway with the right dentist - your daughter agrees he is great - has she had any treatment yet?)

Ideally you have to discuss with him what happened before as it explains your fear and may enable him to reassure you sufficiently to accept treatment with LA and/or some other combination. He would probably happily say, 'I would never carry on working if a patient were in pain and asking me to stop..when patients feel discomfort I top up their anaesthetic for starters...etc etc ' that's what any half-decent UK trained dentist worthy of our business would say.

BY having a conversation about it, he will be able to reassure you such that you feel able to trust him or at least give him the benefit of the doubt until proved otherwise despite what happened before (which was not right and not the norm anyway).

Modern dentistry even with just local anesthetic should not be painful...true some dentists are better than others at getting the LA in comfortably - some you may feel a slight sting but other than that..it should all be comfortable...if it's not you haven't found the right dentist, you call a halt and go elsewhere...you remain in control. https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/fears/needle-phobia/

Fear of pain and loss of control (especially after an experience where control was lost and your pain was ignored - happily less and less common thesedays because it is assault) is extremely common - read these links and discuss these specific fears with your dentists and see what he can recommend...

On the other thing...yes seeing someone spitting blood is unpleasant and unnecessary - a bit like a horror film... it is different from your own perspective as you are not witnessing it, the girl should have gone home afterwards to rest..you shouldn't have seen that and she shouldn't have suffered that indignity but it is different when you are part of it.
There shouldn't be a lot of blood anyway even with removed teeth....it's just part of the healing process is a more positive way of looking at it. Stitches can be put in (while you are still numb) if it is expected that it may be an issue...provided staff care for you appropriately it won't seem as bad as you have witnessed and imagined it.

Why not write down your two main fears and hand it to the dentist..if possible with a list of what he could do to make it possible for you to accept treatment....with/without sedation for the various items and ask to chat away from the chair..that really would help.
:grouphug:
 
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Re: the best option?

i really need to be able to stay calm when i see him on monday so i can try and work out the best option but i don't know how i can do this

Hi Emma :welcome:,

you don't need to be able to stay calm in order to work out the best option. It's normal to feel panicked and frightened, and it's to be expected that you won't be able to take everything in while feeling that way. This doesn't mean that you can't get the information you need though!

You could approach it like a researcher would and make a Word document with all the questions you want to ask - arrange them in logical order. Leave space underneath each question, print it out, and bring the questionnaire along to conduct the "interview". It doesn't necessarily have to be in the same order, as long as you leave with answers to all your questions. And bring a pen, and write the answers down!
The other option would be to tape the conversation (though some people don't like the sound of their own voice and prefer writing down the answers).
Whichever method you choose, CLARIFY, CLARIFY, CLARIFY! When you don't understand an answer, or you're not a 100% sure what your dentist means, ask them to re-phrase it in layperson's language.

Your dentist can't, and shouldn't, make the decisions for you, but they can offer a wealth of information - and your task is to gather as much information as you can and, on the basis of this info, make a decision that's best for you. One good question to always ask is: "If you were in my position, what would you do?".

Your dentist sounds as if he's very approachable and concerned for your well-being :) - and I'm sure he won't mind these kinds of questions and indeed appreciate them. Some people are able to switch to an "interviewing" mode in these sorts of situations, but even if you aren't, having some structure planned out for your visit and having it down in writing will help enormously.

Please let us know how you get on :grouphug:
 
Re: the best option?

Hi again
thankyou so much for your advice i really do appreciate it im sort of feeling a bit better cause i know there are routes around my fears the biggest single hurdle for me is definately the teeth out bit. I need to find out exactly which teeth need taking out he said something about you not being able to see the missing teeth from the front but im worried you might cause one of my front fangs (not sure of proper name hope you know what i mean) has a big hole in if this is taken out you will see when i smile which i don't do anyway at the moment cause im embarased. One of the things pushing me on to do this is the thought of being able to smile and eat normally but i will be even more embarassed by gaps and as ive had anorexia which comes with body dismorphia this would not help my already low confidence so i need to clarify that part. I think i will definately take advice and write down question if i cant ask i can pass the list to my mum who comes with me im still not that strong after being ill and my voice somehow disapeers when im nervous. :( I think if i can get past the teeth out part when that is done i might be able to try perhaps the nice dentist doing a small filling to see if i can cope with it not sure about it yet because all i can see at the moment is the big teeth out neon sign !
My daughter hasn't had to have any work done with the dentist apart from a small resin cover put on a baby tooth cause her gum was sore where it was wearing down and he says he never drills on children unless its absolutely unavoidable other than that her teeth are perfect but she will need a brace when she's older thats why i want to do this too i don't want to be the hypocrite taking my daughter for a brace when she's older yet i wont go anywhere near a dentist i would feel awful!
anyway thanks again so much
emma:)
 
appointment approaching

hi again
my second appointment at the dentist is coming up on monday he will have the results of my x-rays then and although i have been pre warned that i need 6 to 8 teeth out with either iv or a ga im terrified of getting the final verdict and actually being referred once he has a look at the x-rays i always calm right down when ive been but in the couple of days leading up i start to really freak out anyone have any tips for keeping calm at all ive spent all morning close to tears and i will be crying all day tomorrow fear of the dentist is the worst !!

emma :cry:
 
Re: appointment approaching

Hi Emma,

I totally understand how you are feeling because I am the same...anxiety kicking in big time prior to my appt. (Im due to have at least 4 teeth removed maybe 7! on thursday morning) I will have Iv sedation.

It helps to keep busy if you can, and the night before your appt, have a pampering session, play some soothing music, have a relaxing bath, facial, manicure etc.
And keep posting on here, it really does help to vent your fears.

Just think, your next appt is another step closer to your goal, so well done in getting this far!
 
Re: appointment approaching

hi again
thanks for the advice i will try it i wont sleep anyway so it might be a better idea than laying awake worrying i really really hope your appointment on thursday goes well will you let me know how the iv sedation works out for you ive read lots of good things on here about it but another one would be good i will choose iv straight away if i know it works well ( i want to know as little as possible but if i can avoid a general in hospital i will) once i have got the teeth out bit done i will be a bit more at ease for me thats going to be the worst and hardest bit monday is when i find out exactly how many need to come out and im dreading it

thanks for the advice

emma:)
 
Re: appointment approaching

I sure will let you lnow Emma, this isnt the first time Ive had it tho, I have ALL my treatment done under iv sedation and each time I have not remembered anything. You wont even feel the iv being inserted, which is good for me as I am needle phobic too.
 
Re: appointment approaching

this iv is sounding better and better if he asks which i prefer im pretty sure i would give it a try now so many people seem to think its great and don't remember much and thats sooo what i need my dentist seems to think there is one near here when i go tomorrow im going to ask for that i really dont fancy a ga
thanks again and good luck with yr appointment
emma:)
 
Re: appointment approaching

'my sister also had 4 teeth out and she came out crying'
Found this quote from you in the 'Bad experience' thread. basically your fears of tooth removal are based on what you have witnessed with other people rather than personal experience.
Obviously I don't know which method was used but 4 teeth is a lot to take out for a child in one sitting with just local anaesthetic unless they were all close together in her mouth and would only require one lot of numbing.

With a kind, competent dentist, there is no reason whatsoever why having teeth removed with just local anesthetic would be so scary you'd want to cry - but if your sister had the oldstyle gas GA at the dental surgery for the procedure, then coming round crying and disorientated would be a normal reaction to the gas even though no pain had been felt during the procedure...and yes it does look very scary to onlookers. If she had a less than sympathetic dentist using just local then their abruptness could have scared her a lot. What I'm trying to say is that it doesn't have to be traumatic..it depends how well you are treated.

I have had some experience of having teeth taken out with various methods: just local 1960s - injection made me cry (blunt needles then used for multiple patients etc etc ) but rest absolutely fine, painless and I left 'reasonably happy' ...parent was allowed to stay throughout.
Multiple gas GAs 1960s and 1970s for several decayed baby teeth at one go and also healthy teeth for braces on one occasion - always came round crying and in tears..even the last couple of times when I had gone under calmly.

Late 1970s - removal of healthy tooth for braces with just local - painfree injection and removal..totally ok experience...had nice dentist at time..could have opted to go elsewhere for gas GA but didn't as trusted him.

1980s - 3 wisdom teeth in hospital with nice modern GA - positive experience, recommended.
...and that's it...lots of methods experienced but haven't lost any for ages....
the experience with just local and a dentist I liked and trusted who used to make me laugh a lot was honestly the best one BUT you could opt for i/v sedation for yours and not have to go through the coming round in tears stuff...the drugs are all way better now....so give it a go, I expect you'll be pleasantly surprised.

My learnings from the above, are that if my kids need teeth removing for braces, they will be doing it with just local with a dentist they like who I know to have painfree injection technique.
:grouphug:
 
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appointment in half an hour!

Hi again
god im so scared now got to go to dentist in half an hour for the verdict basically exactly how many teeth need to come out and sedation options etc im terrified i really am and if im this bad just for a talking appointment what about for the procedures oh im never going to manage this i know it

all the best guys
wish me luck
emma :cry:
 
Re: appointment in half an hour!

Hi again
god im so scared now got to go to dentist in half an hour for the verdict basically exactly how many teeth need to come out and sedation options etc im terrified i really am and if im this bad just for a talking appointment what about for the procedures oh im never going to manage this i know it

all the best guys
wish me luck
emma :cry:

Hi Emma,

You have probably left before reading this, but I just wanted to wish you all the best. I hope that it went ok.

Holly
 
Re: appointment in half an hour!

I know this is hard to do, but.... Dont think about procedures and treatment for now, take baby steps, and deal with each stage as and when.
You WILL manage to get through your appts.........I'm proof of that cos i must be the biggest dental phobic, but, i manage to get through, with the help and support of this forum, and now a great dentist to see me through the rest of my treatment.

Good luck Emma,
 
Re: appointment in half an hour!

Emma - I'm sending good vibes to you to be brave and to get through this and not to be too scared. Please let us know how it went, I'll be thinking about you all morning. I hope you are OK, please let us know!!

BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!! :XXLhug:
 
Re: appointment in half an hour!

Hi everyone
I cant thank you enough for your support messages it really does help. Anyway today i went to my 8 yr old daughters dentist and i thought he would be ok with me hes lovely with her and i was wrong he seemed to be rushing me he looked at the xrays said i would need 5 teeth out and lots of reconstructive work but that he would recommend i be referred to hospital have all of them out and then i will never have to worry about the dentist again! This from someone who is supposed to be good with phobics not bloody likely. I got home in a right state i felt like i had hit a brick wall i really want this so much once im determined to do something thats it and although im terrified i don't see why if my teeth are savable i have to have them all out. Anyway he said they can be saved but i would have to find a dentist who is prepared to take time and patience with me and its unlikely i would! I got home and started looking through the phone book eventually my mum came across a private clinic in the next town who specialize in phobics and iv sedation they have fited me in next wednesday the girl on the phone was so unbelievably nice shes had iv herself she is even sending me the forms to fill in before i go so i dont have to worry about filling them in on the day if im in a bit of a state im so happy to have found somewhere where people understand im 25 if i can save my teeth i bloody will!
i will let you know how my first appointment goes its only a consultation my lovely lovely parents are going to help me with the cost bless them.
do any of you have personal experience with iv is it as good as they say?

thanks again
emma :)
 
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