New and very stressed

Hi. Where to start...about 5 years back I was seeing an nhs dentist, who said I had gum disease, and some bone loss (sounds silly but at the time I didn't really understand what that meant) so I was going for lots of cleaning and scaling. then the dentist changed and the new one just terrified me. I went a couple more times then it just got too much and I couldn't go back. some of my front teeth have drifted and now just look so unsightly...its been in the back of my mind for some time to find a new dentist but then a few weeks ago I got an infection so I saw an emergency dentist while waiting to see my new dentist (I've gone private now). The emergency dentist basically berated me, told me all I'd done wrong, and all the things I couldn't have done, and why it was not possible. I left there feeling just devastated. Of course I googled bone loss and periodontal disease...the facts hit me like a ton of bricks I didn't realise.

So I spent the next two weeks driving myself mad over my teeth...constantly thinking about them, how could this have happened, how could I have let this happen? ~Feeling ashamed and embarrassed and comparing myself negatively to every person I saw. It's put me on anti-depressants it got that bad. I couldn't sleep, eat, just worrying constantly.

So roll forward a couple of weeks and I've seen my new dentist - gosh I wish I'd gone there years earlier, he is wonderful and put me totally at ease. He said I may have to lose a couple of back teeth (one a wisdom tooth) and that I'd have to have cleaning and scaling then see how things firm up. I told him the things the other dentist had said, but he was very reassuring and said no, no there is always something can be done to sort things out. I've had x-rays taken and go back to 'see what we are going to do' on the 26th May.

In the meantime I'm just still wondering what will happen, will I ever get my pretty smile back? I'm just so worried.

No dentist should berate you belittle you, attitudes like that help no one, especially you the patient. That replacement NHS dentist could not have been a very good one if you were terrified of going to him. That is his fault, not yours. I have gone through a period of dental neglect because of a similar situation.

I am glad you have found a dentist you are comfortable with, now you should look forward to becoming dentally fit. It may take a little time and work, but you will get there. As for pretty smiles....dentists can work miracles these days. I have every confidence you will have a smile you can be proud of.

Hi
im just like you ive found a lovely private dentist after 2 not nice ( long story) nhs ones and i wish i'd found him earlier he also told me that there is always something that can be done and now ive finally started my treatment with him I feel so much better. Some dentists are enough to put you off for life they should be struck off how would they like it what makes it worse is usually when they say nasty stuff to you yr in the chair with them looming over you which makes you feel so small and terrified which is just plain bullying.
You have already made great steps and yr dentist is right stuff can be done my mum has bone loss she was told her teeth would become loose etc that was 10 years ago she hasn't lost them yet so i dont think this is a precise art if you get them looked after from now on it will be fine.
Love and hugs
emma

brewer734 said:

Some dentists are enough to put you off for life they should be struck off how would they like it what makes it worse is usually when they say nasty stuff to you yr in the chair with them looming over you which makes you feel so small and terrified which is just plain bullying.

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and what is more, it is against NHS and GDC guidelines..all patients can expect to be treated politely and with respect.

Poppy36 so glad you have found MrRight dentist. It should be fine from now on..you'll probably even start enjoying your visits instead of dreading them ....amazing what a difference a bit of time and TLC makes..

Hi, your story is very similar to mine, so sorry you're going through this too.
I just joined the other day and have started a thread. I've also only just got started with really tackling my gum disease after being warned a few years ago by my dentist. I had a scaling treatment with the hygienist, and improved my hygiene routine but then missed a few dentist visits. Unfortunately it's progressed really quickly while I've been in denial and busy having my two children (pregnancy seems to have made things worse!).

I'm now being treated at a dental hospital, but may go to a private specialist soon as our financial situation should improve so I'll be interested to see if your treatment is any different to mine (i'm just having the deep scaling at the moment)

So, like you, now I've confronted the problem I'm getting obsessed with it. Thinking about my teeth, about dentures, looking at other people's teeth. I can totally relate to your thoughts and worries, you're not alone!

Please keep us updated with your progress, worries and questions. I'm there with you.
x

GrahamDee said:

No dentist should berate you belittle you, attitudes like that help no one, especially you the patient. That replacement NHS dentist could not have been a very good one if you were terrified of going to him. That is his fault, not yours. I have gone through a period of dental neglect because of a similar situation.

I am glad you have found a dentist you are comfortable with, now you should look forward to becoming dentally fit. It may take a little time and work, but you will get there. As for pretty smiles....dentists can work miracles these days. I have every confidence you will have a smile you can be proud of.

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Thank you that is so reassuring. I really hope so. I want to be dentally fit and have big smiles.

brewer734 said:

Hi
im just like you ive found a lovely private dentist after 2 not nice ( long story) nhs ones and i wish i'd found him earlier he also told me that there is always something that can be done and now ive finally started my treatment with him I feel so much better. Some dentists are enough to put you off for life they should be struck off how would they like it what makes it worse is usually when they say nasty stuff to you yr in the chair with them looming over you which makes you feel so small and terrified which is just plain bullying.
You have already made great steps and yr dentist is right stuff can be done my mum has bone loss she was told her teeth would become loose etc that was 10 years ago she hasn't lost them yet so i dont think this is a precise art if you get them looked after from now on it will be fine.
Love and hugs
emma

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Thanks Emma that is good to hear. Just got to wait until the 26th to start treatment now, I can't wait to make a start and feel like I'm doing something about it instead of just sitting here. I'm glad you've found a lovely dentist and can go private, it's hard even to find a NHS dentist let alone one that you like. hugs to you too.

brit said:

and what is more, it is against NHS guidelines..all patients can expect to be treated politely and with respect.

Poppy36 so glad you have found MrRight dentist. It should be fine from now on..you'll probably even start enjoying your visits instead of dreading them ....amazing what a difference a bit of time and TLC makes..

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Thanks brit I am very glad too.

skymonkey said:

Hi, your story is very similar to mine, so sorry you're going through this too.
I just joined the other day and have started a thread. I've also only just got started with really tackling my gum disease after being warned a few years ago by my dentist. I had a scaling treatment with the hygienist, and improved my hygiene routine but then missed a few dentist visits. Unfortunately it's progressed really quickly while I've been in denial and busy having my two children (pregnancy seems to have made things worse!).

I'm now being treated at a dental hospital, but may go to a private specialist soon as our financial situation should improve so I'll be interested to see if your treatment is any different to mine (i'm just having the deep scaling at the moment)

So, like you, now I've confronted the problem I'm getting obsessed with it. Thinking about my teeth, about dentures, looking at other people's teeth. I can totally relate to your thoughts and worries, you're not alone!

Please keep us updated with your progress, worries and questions. I'm there with you.
x

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Sorry to hear you are going through the same thing too...it's no fun. I know exactly what you mean about being in denial and busy with the children. I buried my head in the sand for soooo long. I was told at the dental access centre that I'd have to go to hospital also, but my new dentist is taking care of the deep cleaning at the surgery (I don't know if that is usual or not, or maybe after seeing the x-rays I'll get referred...I just don't know as yet). I was just having deep scaling at my previous dentist's a few years back, they wouldn't do anything to improve the cosmetic appearance of my teeth, but I don't know if that was because being NHS they were reluctant because of cost or what...my new dentist did say there was always something could be done so I will keep you posted. This is the first time I've been able to afford to go private (and it's still a bit of a struggle to be honest).

so now it's just sit and wait...I'm trying not to imagine what the dentist is or isn't going to do, and just concentrate on other things until the appointment comes round but that is easier said than done! Thanks for being there, I am off to find your thread also and hopefully lend a little support. X

Hi, is your dentist a periodontist? If so they'll do the work themselves. I'm only at the dental hospital as my dentist is not a specialist in this area. Alternative was referral to a private specialist but I'd just given up my job so was a bit lacking in funds!
Hope you can distract your thoughts from your gums until your appointment.
x

Thanks skymonkey. I don't know, I assume he knows what he's doing as he's said he'll be doing the work. I'm just counting off the days now til the appointment on th 26th, it can't come round quick enough for my liking. I mean I'll be scared, but really need a plan of action and something to be happening. I'm not liking being in company, and having to talk and smile, it's playing on my mind so much. x

Just had to chime in here because it truly makes my blood boil to hear people treated badly by dentists. This is how how dental phobia is created in the first place.
So happy to hear you have found someone to treat you with the respectful undertanding you deserve.
I too have truly blessed to have found a compassionate dentist where I feel safe for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, by the time I got to her, the damage was done and I have a terror of male dentists that no amount of reassurance from my wonderful caring lady dentist has been able to shake.

My hope is that as wareness and education of these issues continues, begavior such as you describe will dimminish. I hope.