• Dental Phobia Support

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The fear is overwhelming

Z

Zeolocation

Junior member
Joined
Jun 20, 2009
Messages
17
My updated dental situation; going in tommorrow!

UPDATE:

I got a call from the dentist this morning and she got me in at 2 this afternoon. Well...on the one hand, it was better than I expected because everything is something that can be handled by the very dentist I saw today. On the other hand, it's a little worse than I expected. But at least I know now!

Turns out that my weird fillings are actually, from what they can tell, just fine. The actual issue is that one of my horizontally impacted wisdom teeth is pushing on the tooth next to it and caused a cavity so large it now needs a root canal. Ouch. What should have been a terrible jaw/head/tooth ache was for me a minor sensitivity, so this came as a bit of a surprise. So, here's the diagnosis:

All 4 wisdom teeth need to be removed (the top ones should be easy, the bottom ones they thought would be a bit tricky...I was afraid of that...), I need a root canal on the one bottom tooth, I have two small cavities on another tooth that need to be filled, and I need a basic cleaning.

I elected to have this all done at once, under IV sedation. They got me an appointment for tomorrow! I'm so excited to have gotten this done so early since I came in, since now I won't have to agonize for too long. But holy crap I'm scared and could use all the prayers I can get!

This all totaled 5000 dollars, all out of pocket. But thank God, we did manage to find a payment plan and I am getting my whole mouth fixed at once (except getting the crown placed or whatever later on) and then I can move on with my life! :jump: I got all the consultation done right at the same dental office as I was there, and anxiety meds to help me get there tomorrow. Whew! Please pray that everything goes ok!!

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Original post:

This site has been a huge relief to me since I found it. It's helped me to realize what parts of my fear are rational and what parts are irrational. All of this has really gotten me through to the point where I feel like I might be able to get my teeth taken care of, but now that I'm at the point where I need to make this first appointment, I'm losing it again and rationality is going out the window. So I just wanted to have a place to explain my situation and my feelings on the matter.

I'm 22 and live in the US, with little income and no dental insurance at the moment. My last dental exam was when I was about 17. I had gotten a few fillings (all very pleasant; I have not actually had any negative experiences with the dentist in my past despite my crippling fear of all things medical) and was told that my wisdom teeth would need to come out. As I said, I'm very terrified of any and all medical procedures, and I've been a wreck ever since I was a kid and was told everyone has to have their wisdom teeth taken out. Well, at 17 I was told that my bottom ones were horizontally impacted and would need to come out, and they thought the two on top should come out "just because." I was both poor and completely unwilling to do this, and then I went off to college and moved out on my own and there was just no way I could afford any sort of dental work at all. Fast forward to today: I'm out of college, married, and my husband and I are between jobs/education programs. (For the time being, we're living with his parents.)

So, my dental situation as far as I can tell: a few of my fillings seem to be loose. Anything that causes a pulling sensation (chewy foods, sucking my mouth) bothers them. I noticed it a few months ago but was taking a month long class in Hawaii, so between that and travel I haven't had the chance to do anything about it yet. My top wisdom teeth are completely grown in and from what I can tell are straight, and they feel good to me. My right bottom one has mostly grown in (sideways) and my left bottom one has started to. At no point had they ever bothered me growing in; not even when they broke the gum did they hurt. However, I know they are trapping food and even though I waterpick them every day, I just can't police them all the time. I've been lying awake every night for the past few years because even though they weren't bothering me I knew I had to get them out. I had no idea what to expect, and everything from the consultation where I feared they'd need to call in a neurosurgeon to remove part of my jaw because my situation would be so complex, to the procedure itself and the possible hospitalization, to the terrible awfulness I'd feel for weeks afterwards--I was scared sick every night of this experience. I was so terrified that my sideways teeth would be the worst thing they've ever seen and I'd have some terrible hidden neurological condition that would require the most invasive treatment on earth. I was terrified I would be tortured and made to suffer. So I worried and worried and worried, and then, a few months ago...

The wisdom tooth that had mostly grown in on the bottom started showing sensitivity whenever I'd touch it in certain areas with my tongue or a strong stream of water. I knew I couldn't put it off any longer, and this was right around the time that my fillings started acting up. So not only did I have this terrible horrible surgery waiting for me, I also had to get my fillings (and God knows what else) checked as well. It was also around this time that I found this board, and what an amazing thing it was to realize that a lot of people who are a lot worse off than me got through their fears and got their teeth taken care of, and it wasn't nearly as bad as they thought it would be. So that's my dental story at this point. I'm in between things in my life, and this is really the best time to take care of my dental issues.

As for my current fears...

The reason why I'm posting is because today, I am making the first dental appointment I've had in years to check the overall status of my mouth and get my issues taken care of. My husband insists that since my wisdom teeth aren't hurting that I won't need to get them removed, but I know I will need to have it done as soon as possible. My fears are through the roof again and I can't seem to reason myself out of them. I can't help it. I feel like I'm going to die.

I think, overall, what I'm terrified of is feeling like I don't have a choice to endure suffering. If my nose isn't what I'd like it to look like, I have a choice of living with it or surgically altering it. But I cannot choose to leave my dental issues as is, and that's what scares me. I don't know how bad my teeth really are. I know my fillings feel loose and my bottom wisdom teeth are an issue, but beyond that my teeth feel great. I'm just so terrified that they will tell me I have a "silent killer" in there somewhere. That things are just awful and I will have to be hospitalized to get them fixed. For me, it isn't an issue of embarrassment, it's an issue of needing invasive, extensive treatment for problems I didn't even know existed. (And some for the problems I know do exist.) Like going to the doctor because your ear has been itching a lot lately and finding out the cause is brain cancer.

Another issue is that I'm afraid I will not be able to pay for the things I need, or will have to wait years to get my mouth fixed instead of jumping this huge hoop at once, or that my lack of money will force me into treatment I'm not comfortable with (wisdom teeth removal with only LA and no IV sedation, for instance). I have very little money and my husband and I are looking to get an apartment soon, so we've got a lot of very expensive needs at the moment. Both of us are looking for work and since we are married adults, neither of us are covered by his parents' dental insurance. Im hoping I'll be able to take out a loan or have a payment plan. I'd rather be in debt for awhile than not get the treatment I need. But in any case, it comes down to a fear of being forced by others to do something I am not comfortable with.

TL; DR

So, basically:
  • I'm afraid of not having any control over what things need to be done to me.
  • I'm afraid that I have no idea about the true state of my mouth and it will turn out that my healthy looking teeth that seem to be intact will need root canals or extractions or something.
  • I'm terrified that even though I know horizontally impacted wisdom teeth are everyday events and that the removal of wisdom teeth in general is very simple, I might still have some wacky condition where my roots are all tangled up and my nerves are all over the place that will require extensive, invasive surgery. For the most part, my wisdom teeth have not bothered me at all and I have no way of knowing how messed up they might be.
  • I'm afraid of having a dental situation that normal, experienced dentists/oral surgeons will not be able to handle.
  • I'm terrified of GA and I'm afraid of being forced to get GA instead of IV sedation.
  • I'm terrified of dental pain and the possible extreme discomfort that will be caused after oral surgery. (I know that there is usually only slight discomfort or pain, but what I'm afraid of is that my situation might be different and that it will be horrible.)
  • I'm afraid of being forced into situations I'm uncomfortable with because I don't have the money to do otherwise. I HATE HOW BEING POOR MEANS NOT BEING ABLE TO GET THE TREATMENT WE ALL NEED! I'm afraid of getting the treatment of a second class citizen. (Like cheap shoddy fillings and service because that's all I can afford.)
  • I'm afraid that my strangely placed nerves on my bottom jaw will be a problem. (Supposedly, I'm one of those people who have to get anesthetized differently due to my nerve placement. I needed three shots on my bottom jaw for one simple filling because I kept getting numbed in the wrong areas of my mouth. My dentist handled it just fine and was very patient, but I'm worried other dentists will be confused and unable to help since according to this site it's kind of a rare situation.)
  • I'm afraid that what looks and feels like a perfectly reasonable way for my teeth to be will be cause of extensive and invasive treatment. For instance, slightly crooked teeth that look and function perfectly fine for me will be, to the dentist, an immediate need for braces and headgear because my teeth won't fit together right and I won't be able to eat and I'll die if I don't do it. (My last dentist didn't say this, but they did suggest braces for what I hoped were cosmetic reasons. I declined and it was fine, but I'm worried another dentist will say "OMG YOU HAVE XYZ DISEASE AND NEED TO GET THIS FIXED IMMEDIATELY")
My situation:
  • I take pretty good care of my teeth (I'd like to think) and they feel/look pretty good. I have no cosmetic issues with them and aside from the recently loose fillings, I've never had any problems eating.
  • My previous dental visits have all been very pleasant and I left with a fairly clean bill of health (except the wisdom teeth).
  • My husband's parents have a dentist they go to with an oral surgery branch attached, so hopefully I can get all my work done right there. The parents can help us pay a little bit, but the sheer cost of what I need done will still be out of their reach.
  • My husband says these people are great, so even though I've never been there the family feels pretty good about the whole thing. Plus, I hear they have a female dentist and that calms me down a bit.
  • I know, for the most part, that my fears are irrational and that I'm mostly afraid of the unknown. I'm trying really hard to calm myself down and remind myself that I won't have any situation the dentist hasn't seen before a million times, but the fear keeps saying over and over "what if I'm different? What if my mouth is really messed up since the 5 or so years I had it checked?"
So...whew. Thanks for reading my entire novel and/or TL; DR version there. I just really needed to get this off my chest and explain my situation. I know I'm being irrational by thinking that I have something the dentist will have never seen before, but I can't help but fear the unknown. My not knowing the state of my mouth and my dreaded wisdom teeth is most of the reason why I'm so terrified to go in and find out the state of my teeth. I'm so scared of the diagnosis. I'm so scared of the procedures. I just really want to think that I'm being irrational about this whole thing, and that going to the dentist is an empowering thing because it means I'm taking control of my fear and taking care of my teeth before they get too bad. I want to be able to eat soft and chewy foods again! I want to be able to sleep at night without replaying my fear of wisdom teeth removal! I want to know that going to the dentist can be a pleasant, safe, and rewarding experience! I want to be another success story that will calm others down like their success stories have calmed me! I will appreciate any advice or support you may have. Thank you so much!
 
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Welcome!!!
Gosh all of what you typed is so real to everyone on this board. All of the feelings you have are normal and I think everyone can account for it. I felt all of those feelings and still do on a regular basis. The key is take one step at a time and don't try and rush into any decisions without thinking about them. It is your mouth and therefore you decide on the treatment best for you.

I know $ is barrier for me. I have dental insurance but that pays only some of the expense but not for everything I need done.

So where in the US are you located? Someone can help find you a great dentist I am sure.
 
:welcome:
I just want to second what Olivacs said. Everyone here understands your feelings because we have all been there. Its important to do small steps one appointment at a time.
I know $$ can be difficult. Many states have programs that offer dental services to those of low income or without insurance coverage. This might be worth investigating.
As Olivacs said, depending on where you live, there could be someone here who can offer you a recommendation. In any event, my recommendation is to find a dentist you feel comfortable and safe with. In my mind, this is essential.
Blessings to you:)
 
Hello Zeolocation:

Thank you for posting your situation and feelings. It takes a lot of courage to face these challenges. The anxiety and fear always paints the worst pictures possible. I will do my best to help ally your concerns and offer some hope and comfort.

1. You have total control over your chosen course of treatment. You are an adult and no one can do anything to you that you do not want. These are your rights. You have the right to have everything explained to you, complete with all you options. If you do not feel you can work with your dentist you have the right to leave and choose another. You are in total control and make your own choices.

2. You are very young and based upon what you are saying I believe your dental health is good. Your fears are the anxiety talking to you about horrible things that you fear. I am confident your dental health is not anywhere close to what the fear is telling you.

3. Sideways wisdom teeth are very common. Extensive surgery is a thing of the past. These are easy to deal with and jumbled up nerves like you are speaking about is non-existent. Again this is the anxiety talking.

4. Dentists are equipped to deal with almost anything. I am sure you are very routine. Dentistry has come so far things that were once considered impossible are very routine today. They can deal with any situation on a very routine basis.

5. GA is almost never used unless you have been in an auto accident where your jaw must be rebuilt. Due to advances in anesthetics almost every procedure can be done with common sedation.

6. Again your anxiety is talking to you about pain. If you needed a procedure to remove your wisdom teeth the whole event would be pain free. The pain relievers that can be given today post procedure can deal with any pain easily. The recover from wisdom tooth removal is resolved in a couple of days without problems. Again, the anxiety is telling you that you are beyond hope. This is not the case.

7. Again, you are in control. There are many payment options that can be explored including interest free loans. You need to discover your options. If you talk with the dentist I am sure something can be worked out. No dentist would risk thier license by doing poor work. You have choices and control.

8. Everyone has slightly different nerve placement. Again the anxiety is telling you it is hopeless. Dentists are trained in handling any situation. We are all unique and there are different techniques that can be used. The newer anesthetics are also better than those of a few years ago. They will be able to take care of you easily.

9. You bite can be off and you will live a long life. There is not XYZ disease that will kill you if you do not have braces. You can choose to have them or not, but you will not die from not having braces.

You are not alone millions of people have dental fear far worse than what you are feeling. Do not be embarrassed. The fear is trying to make you believe everything is hopeless. It is not. I am 100% sure your dental challenges can be dealt with far easier than you can believe. You have done the best thing in the world by confronting this issue and moving forward.

I am an anxiety specialist. I will be happy to provide you with the techniques and tools I give my patients. I have also written some articles on anxiety for a Psych journal that might help.

You can overcome this fear. It does not need to rule or control you. You do not need to be trapped by this fear and pain. You have the power to beat this. You are not weird or unusual. The fear wants to rob you of joy and quality of life.

You are beginning the same journey that many on this forum have taken. I can promise you that you will be OK. The best way to beat the fear is by facing the thing you are afraid of. This takes away the power of the fear.

If I can help in any way, please PM me and we can chat.

Blessings and Peace to you. :)
 
Thank you so much everyone! It really helps to hear voices of reason to cut through all the bull my anxiety feeds me. I'm just really glad to have found a place where I can express my fears and see other people work through their own fears. I really want to know I'm just freaking myself out over nothing. :redface:

As for the dentist appointment I tried to make: the dentist apparently wasn't in and we didn't get a hold of her. I hear it takes like 6 months to get an appointment with her (that's if she'll even accept new patients) so we were hoping to have her fit me in whenever she had an opening. It could be tomorrow, it could be months from now, it could be never. But in any case, we don't know yet because we didn't get a hold of her. So I'll be waiting a little longer, heart pounding every time the phone rings.

By the way, I live in (central) California. We're hoping to eventually move to Chico, so if anyone knows any great dentists in that area, that'd be awesome!
 
Hi Zeolocation:

I live in Chico and can help with some dentists. I will PM you.
 
Hi Zeolaocation,
I wish you all the best. I have had IV sedation myself and it worked very well for me. Let us know how it goes
:)
 
Thank you so much everyone!

I posted my success story:


Thank you for helping me face my fears! Other than getting a crown placed in a few weeks, I should be all caught up!
 
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