false starts

I'm scared like everyone else who comes here. I have been a member for awhile now and I did see a dentist but gone past the initial appointment.

I would to try again, this time to complete treatment, no cancelling etc..

This is really freaking me out, I know I have to get treatment and I am prolong my agony. I want to put this behind me because it takes a great deal of my thinking which prevents me from doing anything else in life.

I usually pluck up the courage to attend the consult/check-up & x-rays and then fail to any appointments thereafter which I haven't done in over a year when i joined. I haven't had treatment for a long time.

So this time I was thinking of going with the approach mention here, just for a chat as an initial appointment, no pressure, at my own pace... but I have called a few places today and most only do consults as check-up & x-rays. The receptionists push for this and i'm afraid that just going for check-up and x-ray will not make continue with the treatment. I have had some false starts already and I can't continue this way. I know I can ring to make an appointment but I can't seem finish any treatment plan set, I can't go beyone the first appointment.

I see some people pluck up the courage to get a check-up & x-rays and muster through the treatment plan because they have waited and feared long enough and force themselves. May be this is the approach I need to take. I'm confused of what to do. Not getting dental treatment is affecting me in far to many ways.

I wonder how people start their dental treatment journey.

Is it best for just a chat then check-up & x-ray?

Can people really tell from the first appointment whether this right dentist or treatment plan they will stick with?

I have too many false starts and I don't know if I will ever get this done.

Thanks all for allowing me to let this out

Hi Butterfly. You have made a great start and a lot of progress just by posting on here, so well done! I personally didn't go in for just a chat first, I had the chat and got x-rays and a check-up all at once, partly because without me actually asking for anything different, that was the standard approach, and partly because as hard as it was, once I was there I wanted to get it over and done with and know the results. And the sense of relief afterwards was overwhelming too, I must say.

In terms of how I felt about the dentist, even though that first appointment was a bit of a blur because I was SO nervous and scared, I could still tell that the dentist was right for me and that made me feel so much better about the whole thing. Even without being fully 'aware' of everything because of my nerves, I was still aware that the dentist was kind and caring and understanding and gentle and non-judgemental and all those things I was looking and hoping for. Plus he was young and quite close to my age which also made me feel a lot more comfortable. I think it's pretty easy to pick up on those subconscious feelings from one meeting, just like it is often easy to get a vibe about someone the first time you meet them, like when you interview for them for a job. It's not going to be spot on every time, but I find these gut feelings are often pretty close to the mark.

A few tips from my experience - I couldn't bring myself to make that initial phone call so my partner ended up calling on my behalf. If you have a friend or partner or family member who could do this for you, that might help you to take that first step. Once the appointment was made I felt scared and like I had lost control of the situation, so I chose to email the dentist's office and advised them that I was nervous and I got a lovely reply from the practice manager, which put my mind at ease and made me feel more in control of the situation. It also meant the dentist knew how nervous I was beforehand, so he was prepared for how I was feeling and I think was better able to deal with it as a result.

I wish you all the best and keep posting here because it has helped me and many others immensely through their journey.

It really truly is finding the right dentist - and you will know - promise!

First dentist I went to scared me half to death. Gave me worse case scenario etc. I was a wreck and ended up cancelling the appointment to have the work done because Brit (and Gordon) told me a second opinion was needed - thank god they did - I am very grateful to them both!

It took me a month to go to the 2nd appointment and it couldn't have been more different. I felt comfortable from the word go and because I had a panic the night before the 2nd appointment the receptionist even grabbed the dentist for me to tell me there was nothing too much to worry about! I had no sedation at all; not even valium!

To get through the appointment itself (the wait was worse than the thing itself) I just tried to focus on the fact it would be over in an hour, how proud I was going to be of myself afterwards and it worked. During the treatment, there were a couple of dodgy moments but I just kept focusing on the positives. Whiter teeth, no nightmares about teeth falling out....

I also want to say that I can be a very negative person, that I was horribly phobic and the thought of even sitting in the dentists chair gave me hysterics. This time last year it would have been unthinkable of me to go. If I can manage it - anyone can.

So, keep posting, make another appointment and you will 'connect' with the right dentist and it will all go from there.

Good luck

Hiya butterfly. I think the advice about finding the right dentist is very important. Personally i have never experienced a bad one as i hadn't been since i was a kid until a couple of weeks ago. Luckily the first one that i saw was the right one for me.

I really do think that 99% of all dentists are genuinely caring and understanding and it is probably the 1% that give people like us nightmares when we hear stories about them. Having said that people in general do only talk about bad experiences which probably makes them seem more common than they are.

I totally relate to the part where you talk about it preventing you from doing other things. I lived like that for the longest time and i regret it so much now. I got the courage by posting on here and by reading other peoples success stories. I decided on the spot that i was going to take control back and not have my life controlled by pain and what i percieved that other people thought about me. It seems to me that you are at the stage where you want to take control back too and do you know what? It can be done and you can do it!

Think of it as a couple of hours of discomfort, thats right discomfort is the most you will feel, not pain. A couple of hours of that in exchange for your life back. When you think of it like that then there is only one thing to do, isn't there?

The first appointment will probably include a check up and an x-ray, i think most places operate the same procedures. Do you have a friend or family member who can go through the whole process with you? Make sure they know when your appointments are and ask them to be firm with you and to accompany you and make sure you keep appointments and be like your dental buddy.

You can do this and you will be so pleased and proud of yourself when you do. Its time to be strong and to be a little bit brave but the rewards you will reap will make it all worthwhile, i assure you.

Good luck

Tom