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    Thread: Decayed and crumbling teeth

    1. #1
      Join Date
      Nov 2009
      Posts
      4

      Default Decayed and crumbling teeth

      I don't even know how to start.
      I just recently turned 22 and like every year I told myself "You really have to do something about the situation inside your mouth"...
      I haven't seen a dentist in what's soon to be 9 years and my teeth are really, really bad. At least to me it seems like there's no hope at all. It all started with 13 when one of my molars cracked after eating potato chips. I wasn't scared of dentists that time, so I went and got it fixed. The doc said that I needed a few other minor fillings, which turned out to be quite some in the end. Anyhow. The teatment was ok, very painful at times, but I could take it.

      Now, almost 9 years later all those fillings are gone. The tooth that cracked back then is now a ruin.. along with the other molar behind. (bottom right)
      On my upper molars, actually all my teeth on the upper right side are carious and a few bits broke off. The other side isn't more fun..
      the 2 molars on the bottom are pretty decayed and last one at the top is 90% gone. The one after that.. must be the only cheek tooth that's the least destroyed. The interdental spaced of my incisors had been filled from behind back then.. those fillings are almost gone now too. So that carious could make it's way to the front side as well.

      Well, all in all TERRIFYING. I've been thinking about ending my life in order to escape the embarassment of showing my teeth to someone else. I can't laugh, I can't speak properly because I'm afraid someone may notice. I've lost all of my self-confidence and on top of that I suffer from social phobia, which I can't work on because my teeth are an adamant obstacle I can't seem to overcome.

      Another bit that scares me is the money. I'm 22 as stated (living in Germany) and I don't work. My parents pay my expenses and I'm not sure how much the insurance will pay. (I think it works differently here.) Perhaps I'm exaggerating and thinking in ridiculous dimension, but to me this all seems impossible to overcome.
      I'm really deperate and don't know what to do. I'm not in pain yet, but I can feel some kind of pressure and I know it's caused by one of my ruins. I even think that it's causing me pain in my back and my arm already. (that started before I could locate the cause)

      So now I'm sitting here... lost in all those things that constantly flood my mind.. when all I really want it peace finally.

      Sorry for the wall of text and possible typos, I'm not gonna reread this now.. I'm too upset and just wanted to get it off my chest quickly.
      Last edited by Hakuren; 4th November 2009 at 23:19.

    2. #2
      Join Date
      Jan 2007
      Posts
      35

      Default Re: Decayed and crumbling teeth

      Hey Hakuren:
      You are I are VERY VERY similiar with our fears. Feel free to read my posts to see what it is that I am contending with and if you'd like, you can always send me a personal e-mail. Sometimes just having one support person ( who KNOWS what you are going through) can make all the difference. I, like you, am terrified and ashamed of my teeth. I also contemplated ending my life because of this dental phobia. Here is my e-mail address------ethanstoys@yahoo.com

    3. #3
      Join Date
      Oct 2009
      Posts
      15

      Default Re: Decayed and crumbling teeth

      Hi. Your post sounds almost identical to my experience. I am tired of being selfconcious but I know exactly what and how you feel. I am working on setting a consultation to a dentist but as of right now, I have not. Really scared and depressed. I can let you know , IF and when I seek treatment and tell ya how it went. Hang in there.

    4. #4
      Join Date
      Sep 2009
      Posts
      19

      Default Re: Decayed and crumbling teeth

      Hi Hakuren,

      I'm also in a similar situation and went through horrible embarrassment to get my teeth looked at.
      I also have a molar that's 90% gone, just the roots left pretty much, (I'm having it extracted tomorrow, oh the joy....) and I was extremely self conscious about it but I managed to get over my horrible phobia and go see a dentist. I was extrememly suprised that the dentist wasn't even phased. lol And here I thought he was going to pass out from shock of seeing whatever was left of my tooth. haha The things our fears do to our imagination...lol

      But seriously, don't worry about what the dentist will think of you. He's seen worse and he or she only wants to help you. That's their job.
      There are people with horrible teeth out there, like something out of a horror movie, and your teeth are probably not nearly as bad.

      I'm not sure how much dental care costs in Germany, but I know my sister who studies in Germany has free dental care. It shouldn't be that expensive for basic dental care, like extractions and fillings.

      Please don't think that this is impossible to overcome. That's exactly what I thought before I went to see the dentist. I thought my situation was utterly hopeless and I even thought about killing myself when I was at my lowest. And well, my situation was far from hopeless, I'm still terrified of the dentist but I am determined enough to not let the fear rule over me.
      You can do this! Please trust me on this. I NEVER thought I could do it, and yet I did. If I can do it, anybody can. I'm THE biggest coward when it comes to teeth and health in general.

    5. #5
      Join Date
      Nov 2009
      Posts
      4

      Default Re: Decayed and crumbling teeth

      Hey..

      Thanks for the kind and supportive words, I really appreciate them.
      Before I came here to post yesterday I wrote a mail to a dentist I came across while searching the net. I was quite surprised to find his answer at nearly 11 pm.
      The answer was absolutely sweet.. saying something about me being rather brave and that he can imagine how hard taking that step must be, that I should keep it a secret, but even dentists end up in those situations.. quite often even. ) He also suggested that I call in because he'd inform his secretary about it. And then we'll see how to go from there.

      Now I'm sitting here.. totally excited and yet scared as hell.
      I'll still have to show my teeth.. duh.. I'll always have to in order to get them fixed. I also keep telling myself that it's not gonna change and that I can either pick him, obviously understanding and nice... or some other random dentist.. but the situation itself won't be a different one.
      For some odd reason I feel more embarassed about my teeth now, because I know he's a nice doc.. (what the hell?).. I think I'm gonna chop my head off to get rid of the idiotic ideas.

      Can somebody tell me why this has to be so hard?
      Can't I just pick up the phone and at least talk to her?
      God damn it!

    6. #6
      Join Date
      Mar 2006
      Location
      In My Dental Happy Place
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      Female
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      7,194

      Default Re: Decayed and crumbling teeth

      Hi Hakuren
      As ever , I am interested in the pain during treatment angle...you are saying that 9 years ago the treatment you received was rather painful...did you mean during actual treatment or afterpain?
      The email reply you got sounded very promising.....what you also need to do is establish that he can provide you with comfortable treatment..there was no excuse 9 years ago and there is certainly no excuse now....even the local anaesthetic injections for numbing can be comfortable and painless..it is all in the technique.

      Some relevant links:
      http://www.dentalfearcentral.org/pain_dentist.html

      http://www.dentalfearcentral.org/emb...f_dentist.html

      http://www.dentalfearcentral.org/needle_phobia.html
      http://www.dentalfearcentral.org/dentist_drill.html

      Let us know how you get on...go to visit this dentist just for a chat about how he can help you have a better experience this time would be my advice.
      Only have an exam if you feel comfortable with him.
      It's the 21st Century.......dentistry can and should be painless but we patients come unstuck because all dentists are not created equal

    7. #7
      Join Date
      Nov 2009
      Posts
      4

      Default Re: Decayed and crumbling teeth

      Hi brit and thanks for the links.
      Actually I went through most of the website long before posting here first.
      What I meant was the treatment itself was very painful.
      For example: That silly woman hit the nerve of my tooth twice the same session.. I felt like my brain is making it's way out through my ears.

      Nonetheless.. I'm not afraid of pain, needles, sounds and everything else.
      Of course I'm not a fan of those things, but they're not the reason for staying away this long. I'm really just embarassed beyong belief... because of how it looks and because I let this happen and last but not least my anxiety disorder plays a big role too. I'm still battling myself here.. I should caaaaallll... And I hate calling in general.

      Oh god, having a chat with the doc.. I'm a bad talker when it comes down to what scares me or just about how I feel in general.. I think once I managed to go in there I'll simply take the full load and let him look into my mouth. That should ease my mind big time.... I'm just not there yet..

    8. #8
      Join Date
      Oct 2009
      Posts
      30

      Default Re: Decayed and crumbling teeth

      Hi Hakuren,

      I think I know how you feel. For me, I could totally handle the pain. What I COULD NOT handle was the embarrassment of showing someone my teeth. I was so ashamed. I keep my mouth closed at all costs.

      What changed for me? The extreme, excruciating pain of an abscess. If not for that, I feel sure I still would not have gone. I just sat in his chair and shook and cried as he asked me to open up. But do you know what? Not one lecture, not one unkind comment....he acted like he sees mouths like mine, or worse, everyday. And the more that I think about it, the more I figure he probably has. He outlined a plan for me, and we are moving forward.

      That was just my consultation. But honestly, now that he has seen my mouth, I don't think the rest of it will be nearly as difficult. And, I gotta tell you, BEATING THIS THING FEELS SO EMPOWERING! Simply by going to see the dentist I feel as though I can do ANYTHING.

      Good luck, friend!

      Just wanted to add, I said VERY LITTLE to my dentist during the consultation. He knew I was scared beyond belief, he knew that my mouth needed a lot of work.....so there really wasn't much to say. He told me what I needed done, I expressed to him that finances were an obstacle and he told me how he'd work with me....not nearly as difficult as I had built it up to be.

      You can TOTALLY do this!
      Last edited by franky74; 5th November 2009 at 16:27. Reason: spelling

    9. #9
      Join Date
      Sep 2009
      Posts
      19

      Default Re: Decayed and crumbling teeth

      Hi Hakuren,

      That's great to hear that you took the first step and
      contacted the dentist.

      From what you describe he sounds like a very nice and understanding person.
      I'm sure he's not going to say anything mean or criticize you. After all, he only wants to help you and make you feel better. He probably doesn't need to hear the whole story, just tell him you're very anxious and nervous about the state of your teeth and he'll understand. I'm sure he sees a lot of very nervous patients every day.

      Let us know how you do. You might just suprise yourself and you'll do much better than you think.Our worst fears usually never come true. It's actually the opposite most of the time.

    10. #10
      Join Date
      Apr 2008
      Posts
      370

      Default Re: Decayed and crumbling teeth

      Try not to let embarassment stop you. Get your teeth fixed and save what you can. I hadn't gone in such a long time that both my top teeth just next to the very front were rotted badly. I wish now I'd just gone because I might have had a better chance to save them. The Dentists see tons of people like us who are ashamed we've put it off and finally get in there.

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