I don't even know how to start.
I just recently turned 22 and like every year I told myself "You really have to do something about the situation inside your mouth"...
I haven't seen a dentist in what's soon to be 9 years and my teeth are really, really bad. At least to me it seems like there's no hope at all. It all started with 13 when one of my molars cracked after eating potato chips. I wasn't scared of dentists that time, so I went and got it fixed. The doc said that I needed a few other minor fillings, which turned out to be quite some in the end. Anyhow. The teatment was ok, very painful at times, but I could take it.
Now, almost 9 years later all those fillings are gone. The tooth that cracked back then is now a ruin.. along with the other molar behind. (bottom right)
On my upper molars, actually all my teeth on the upper right side are carious and a few bits broke off. The other side isn't more fun..
the 2 molars on the bottom are pretty decayed and last one at the top is 90% gone. The one after that.. must be the only cheek tooth that's the least destroyed. The interdental spaced of my incisors had been filled from behind back then.. those fillings are almost gone now too. So that carious could make it's way to the front side as well.
Well, all in all TERRIFYING. I've been thinking about ending my life in order to escape the embarassment of showing my teeth to someone else. I can't laugh, I can't speak properly because I'm afraid someone may notice. I've lost all of my self-confidence and on top of that I suffer from social phobia, which I can't work on because my teeth are an adamant obstacle I can't seem to overcome.
Another bit that scares me is the money. I'm 22 as stated (living in Germany) and I don't work. My parents pay my expenses and I'm not sure how much the insurance will pay. (I think it works differently here.) Perhaps I'm exaggerating and thinking in ridiculous dimension, but to me this all seems impossible to overcome.
I'm really deperate and don't know what to do. I'm not in pain yet, but I can feel some kind of pressure and I know it's caused by one of my ruins. I even think that it's causing me pain in my back and my arm already. (that started before I could locate the cause)
So now I'm sitting here... lost in all those things that constantly flood my mind.. when all I really want it peace finally.
Sorry for the wall of text and possible typos, I'm not gonna reread this now.. I'm too upset and just wanted to get it off my chest quickly.