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Possibly because these alternatives don't sound like much fun, either. So here are some ideas which might help you in making
a - perhaps life-changing - decision. Please note that much of what follows is written with the "general dental phobic"
(if there is such a thing) in mind and may not apply to your situation. More specific concerns are discussed in various sections
of the "What's Your Fear?" pages.
It's Good to Talk
It's very common to go through a period of intense anxiety and panic while you're struggling to make this decision. One of
the most important things you can do during this time is to talk to people you can trust about your fears. Oftentimes, people
find that friends or loved ones are far more understanding than they thought.
On the other hand, someone who has never experienced dental phobia may not be able to understand exactly how terrified you
are. Give it a try, anyway - as mentioned before, even if you feel really embarrassed about your problem, the feeling of mortification
is in your own mind, and most people will feel empathy. Choose someone whom you believe to be an empathetic person to confide
in.
If you've had very bad experiences with dentists in the past, another person might be able to put them into perspective for
you. Many dental phobics do not realize that what has happened to them is not "the norm". Dentistry (or your dentist =)) doesn't
HAVE to be horrific!
If you cannot find anyone to confide in, or if you'd like to talk to people who are or who have been in your position, there
are a number of support and discussion groups on the internet. I've put up links to dental fear and phobia online groups in
Dental Phobia Support Groups.
Know What's Out There
This is what Dental Fear Central is all about! Unless you belong to the group of phobics who really do not want to know what
might happen if you decided to give a dentist a try (in which case you've probably given up reading by now, anyway), knowledge
is power. Explore this site and any sites it links to which might be of interest to you. Just reading about dental-related
things, while scary, may have a "desensitizing" effect. If there's anything you find too detailed or off-putting
(such as actual dentistry sites with pictures etc.), just don't follow the links! It should be fairly obvious from the descriptions
of sites what's "safe" for your personal comfort level.
Reading through past threads on discussion and support groups, or other people's "success stories", can also
help a lot. Occasionally, you'll come across posts which describe appalling experiences. Don't allow these to put you off
too much - instead, try and figure out how these scenarioes could have been prevented.
By visiting this site, you've already taken the first steps - it will have taken you a lot of courage to come here (I
can hear you say "eh, actually, I'm just desperate!" - that's fine, too!). Even if actually meeting a dentist seems
too scary to seriously contemplate right now, give yourself a pat on the back!
Take Your Time!
Don't rush into anything! You've probably waited for so long, a few weeks here or there are not going to make a huge difference.
Your psychological well-being is at least as important as achieving oral health. A wrong choice at this point in time is not
a good idea!
If you've come across this site because you're in acute, strong pain, you may have an infection which needs to be treated.
Don't delay - infections can be very dangerous. You don't need to go to a dentist to get an antibiotic. Try and forget about
your embarrassment and explain the situation to your doctor. Alternatively, go to the emergency department of your local hospital.
They will be able to prescribe antibiotics. For more information, see DIY Dentistry.
Look Around!
If you want to get rid of your phobia for good, it's really important that you find a sympathetic dentist who'll be able to
put your fears at rest - rather than reinforce them. Unless you live out in the sticks, you will have a lot of choice when
deciding on a dentist. "Finding Mr (or Mrs) Right" gives tips on how to go about this.
NOTE: Some people really do live "out in the sticks" - for those who have to do with "what's there",
premedication, relaxation techniques, or bringing a person you trust along may help somewhat. Or post on our message board
for support.
The positive power of negative thinking
If you happen to be a born pessimist (or if you happen to feel pessimistic about your chances of ever being able to overcome
your fear of dentists), try harnessing the power of negative thinking to your advantage.
There's a lot to be said for negative thinking, apart from the fact that by expecting the worst case scenario, you can
avoid disappointment and disillusionment.
By playing out worst-case scenarios in your mind, you can also anticipate what could potentially go wrong - and find ways
of averting disasters. You could go through all the things that might go wrong, one by one, and try and think of ways of ensuring
that disaster doesn't strike. Even if things don't go according to plan, you can still salvage te situation by thinking about
how you could do things differently next time round to ensure the same thing doesn't happen again. Some concrete examples
are listed below:
What if I go in there and the dentist I see gives me the creeps?
First impressions are very important - we often (though by no means always!) decide on whether we like a person or not within
seconds of meeting them. Sometimes we'll like someone almost immediately, sometimes we're undecided and want to find out more
about them first, and sometimes we dislike them right from the start. If the last possibility applies, there is little or
no chance of making this work. Looking at it rationally, this doesn't represent a real problem, since all you have to do is
say you're uncomfortable, make your excuses, and leave.
To try and prevent this from happening (as far as possible - obviously, there's never a 100% guarantee where liking is
concerned), follow the tips in "Finding Mr (or Ms) Right".
I'm scared to death of the treatment room, the chair, and the instruments...
Translation: I can't handle the "clinical" environment - it gives me the creeps. The stimuli in the environment
are powerful emotional triggers. They can include visual, olfactory, and aural cues, i. e. sights, smells, and sounds. Possible
solutions include staying away from these stimuli at first. For example, it might be possible to "get to know" your
dentist outside the treatment room. Quite often, space does not permit this, so the next best thing might be to talk in the
treatment room, but not in the chair. There might be other chairs (apart from "the" chair) around - if not, you
can always stand up and talk. Or if you get "the jitters" and feel too weak for standing up, you could ask your
dentist if you can sit on their chair... The good news is that in most dental practices / offices nowadays, very little equipment
is laid out in plain view (a welcome side-effect of increasingly stringent standards when it comes to keeping the environment
free of germs, in order to prevent cross-infection).
Anyway, back to the point: usually, we "process" the environment automatically, without any need to consciously
analyze it. The end result of this processing is referred to as the "atmosphere" of a place. You'll know instinctively
if a place has a "happy" atmosphere or not. And if it does, you will be able to get used to the environment. If
it's spooky (overpowering antiseptic smells, ultra-clinical atmosphere etc.), you're in the wrong place. Unless you really
like the dentist you've just met, it's probably time to leave and start over. But again, if you've done your research ("Finding
Mr (or Ms) Right"), the chances of this happening are greatly reduced.
Lots of people have a thing about the explorer (or "poker", as it's affectionately referred to by some dental
phobics ;)) - you'll be glad to learn that it's no longer used willy-nilly in most dental practices, as it can upset enamel
which could potentially remineralize. In any event, you can ask your dentist NOT to use it, at least until you feel more comfortable
with the whole idea of dentistry.
I've thought about the things I fear and I can articulate them to myself - but I know that once I'm in a dental office,
I'll be frozen with fear and won't be able to communicate my fears to a dentist...
(Ignore the following if you prefer to "play it by ear" - it's a matter of personal preference.) Some dental phobia
sufferers have huge trouble articulating their fears in front of a dentist. Possible solution: make out a list of what you're
afraid of beforehand, on paper, and make sure your dentist gets it. If you're not even too sure that you'll be able to hand
them the piece of paper, send it by e-mail (ahead of time - allow for the inevitable pitfalls of modern technology, e. g.
e-mail getting wiped by mistake). The list can take several different formats, e. g. "I'm scared that... (list things
you're scared of) - how can you help me?" or "I'd have to know that you would/wouldn't (list things dentist would
have to do in order to make you feel comfortable)". You can then go through each point with your dentist. If they can
reassure you that the things you're worried about won't happen, cool! Depending on how much you trust the dentist, your particular
circumstances, and your (and your dentist's) personality, you may need very little reassurance - or quite a lot, but it's
hard to tell in advance. Best to go with the flow!
I'm terrified of the dental charting thing and "the diagnosis"...
Possible solutions: If you hate the idea of dental charting (it may add to your sense of "being treated like a set of
teeth" and evoke unpleasant memories of "things to come"), you could simply ask your dentist not to call numbers
and descriptions out loud. Ask (nicely =)) if it would be possible to leave it out. If you're really scared of "the diagnosis",
tell your dentist that you don't think you can handle all the "bad news" at once and ask if s/he can break it to
you slowly - or during the next appointment. Again, this may not apply to you - if not, simply ignore. Depending on prior
experiences, some people are especially anxious to be given an honest and detailed diagnosis - in which case the solution
would be to ask for an honest and detailed diagnosis.
The examples above are just that - examples of possible solutions to possible problems. You'll find more of them in the
"Tips & Tricks" sections. As you can gather, there are no hard and fast solutions - the answers depend on your
particular situation, and only you can know what might help. So take some time to think about it. It's not an entirely straightforward
process, and a lot of things may occur to you on a subconscious level... but, as they say, "every little helps"!
Create a "Can't Lose" Situation
This tip was the perhaps the most important piece of advice which enabled me to make an appointment... This may or may not
apply to you, depending on your particular brand of phobia. If it doesn't apply, just ignore it. Here it goes: make an appointment
just for a chat (but read the next page first!). Promise yourself that you won't go anywhere near the chair while you're there
- you're simply checking out if dentistry might be a safe option for you.
This puts you in a "can't lose" situation - if you find that you don't like the dentist and that the whole thing
is still far too scary to contemplate, you're in no worse a position than the situation you're in now.
If, on the other hand, you find that you actually like and trust the dentist you meet, and s/he can (help) alleviate your
fears, bingo!
One caveat: some phobics may be paralyzed with fear upon being presented with a dentist and will simply "obey orders".
If you think this applies to you, you'd be well advised to bring a trustworthy friend who'll stop you from jumping straight
into that chair, and remind you of your original plans.
The following sections, "Finding Mr (or Mrs) Right" and "Doomsday - The First Appointment" are designed
to greatly increase your chances of finding the right dentist first time round, and making that all-important first appointment
go smoothly.
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