• Dental Phobia Support

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Totally Petrified !

B

bisja

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 20, 2010
Messages
293
Location
Minnesota
This is the first post I have made even though I have been reading posts here for over a year, in fact it won't be long and it will be two years. I think I couldn't post because it felt like if I did I (in my own mind) would have to make that step forward and go to a dentist. Its a bit of a long story so I will try not to be too windy and shorten it as much as I can. When I was young five years old is when my fear started of dentists,we grew up poor and at that time you only went to a dentist if you had a severe toothache, needless to say we lived in a very desolate area and the dentist we had I can only compare to the dentist you saw in the old westerns where you heard everyone screaming when he pulled a tooth.....I am 58 now and so it was 1958 when all this started. As the years went on I made myself go for any repairs and for cleanings (once that became a thing that happened in my area) Each time I would go I was scared half to death, would hold on to the chair for dear life.One dentist screamed at me that I made him nervous even though I did not scream, or cry just held on to that chair. (never went back to him again) In my 30's developed tmj which really made my jaws and neck hurt. Had a mouth guard made but it always made me hurt worse it threw my bite off so bad and so stopped using it. Actually bit right threw it anyway. Anyway as the years went on I went less and less to the dentists as hurt so bad to keep my mouth open and in turn just got more and more scared. In 2006 I all of a sudden had 3 abscessed teeth so had to go to the dentist, very nice man who was so understanding of my fears and my pain issues,( too bad he is now retired) had the teeth pulled but I just got sicker and sicker and my teeth started to get loose and infected and pain all over my body went to the doctor and found out I had mono, strange age to get mono but my husband and my grandson and my son all came down with it, 3 months, no one hardly moved in this house, finally they got better but I didn't I developed vertigo and was so weak could not get out of bed, back to the doctor and she brushed me off like I was a nut, in 2007 switched doctors by this time I had lost so much weight and felt like I was almost dead and actually prayed for it as the pain was too much to handle. Went to a new doctor and he is a fantastic man and doctor did all kinds of tests and found out I had Lyme Disease along with mono so sent me to an infectious disease doctor and the first thing he looked at was my gums and teeth as he said it was sign of what stage of LD I was in. It shocked me to find out that Lyme was why my teeth had just went so quick from being ok teeth to so loose that they have moved and look so horrible plus painful and always getting infections. Well anyway I was on antibiotics for 6 months so I had no infections in my teeth at that time, even though the teeth were no longer good because of how loose they were. After the 6 months of meds I still was not ever the same and have been told more or less what you are left with is what you are left with. I have what they call myofascial pain syndrome but honestly I still think allot is caused by clenching my teeth at night. Through all of this and being flat in bed for over a year and trying in the last few years to just get my strength back I have put off going to the dentist as when I get to much stress I have what I can only call a flare and get very sick for a while(it varies in time) but knew I had to get the teeth taken care of, I know I need upper false teeth and a partial on the bottom I am pretty sure, so I searched on the internet for a dentist who worked with people who are petrified, and also did sedation dentistry and I found a dentist that sounds like man who is not only a good dentist but one who is a caring dentist and one who I think will be easy to talk to. He is three hours from where I live but that's ok. ( trust me the three hour trip will be hard on my body but I don't care) I read that he uses state of the art equipment so ex rays take only a few seconds and impressions I believe are done digitally to my understanding anything that makes all go faster is a plus for me. So that is my basic story, I have cried my head off typing as I still find it so hard to think of what all has went on in the last 6 years. There is so much more then what I have written , was very anemic, no longer can eat gluten or dairy, its been a long road just want as much of my health back as I can get. So I made an appt. a month ago and it is on Friday at 1:00 so we will leave here by 9am if not earlier to make sure we are there in time. Oh yeah in the last week I developed a bad infection above two of my teeth so am on abx for that and half of a cap that I had, apparently fell out and I think I swallowed it! :) I usually am a person with a good sense of humor but this is one area I am just a petrified total mess. My doctor has given me Valium which is rare that I ever take, but because of muscle pain and such high anxiety I will take one about an hour before I see the dentist , otherwise honestly I think I would just sit there and sob my brains out at him and what good would that do, just want to get the show on the road ya know what I mean...... I do have questions to ask him and also if any of you know because I have tmj I wonder what do they do with people who have false teeth? Anyone know? Want you to all know I have read many of your journals and I think you are all such brave people and my heart has went out to each of you.
 
I haven't got or had your problems, but I feel for you and I wish you every success in your dental treatment and hope it all goes well for you.
I will look forward to reading how you go on, when you feel up to writing again. Thank you for sharing your story.
All the best :grouphug:
 
Hi Bisjah,


I'm so pleased that you have posted after reading here for a couple of years, you are right, it is a positive step in moving towards the dental work you need done.

What an absolutely terrible time you have had, I so feel for you having had so many physical illness to deal with. I'm afraid I don't really know anything much about the conditions you have suffered from, but think you have done remarkably well to retain a sense of humour through it all.

It sounds like you have done your research really thoroughly on finding a dentist you feel you can work with. From reading here you will know that dentistry has changed massively since those early days when you went in 1958, and you have experienced this yourself in 2006. I wish you the very best of luck and look forward to reading your journal.
 
:welcome:

Wow! You have really been through the wringer and back! :scared:

I don't wear dentures, so I can't really answer your question with any authority, but I would think that a set of well-fitting dentures might do quite a bit for TMJ problems. Since a lot of TMJ is caused by mal-occlusion (how your upper and lower teeth fit together when you bite down), and loose teeth can easily cause your jaws to get out of alignment, it seems reasonable to me to think that sort of "starting over" with dentures might really help.



Anyway, since I can't really give you good answers to any of your questions, but I'm just south of you in Iowa, I thought I might offer these to hopefully help to cheer you up:

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Minnesota.

If you feel proud that your state makes the national News 96 nights each year, because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Minnesota.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you might live in Minnesota.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Minnesota.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Minnesota.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Minnesota.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Minnesota.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Minnesota.

If you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedia, Edina, Shakopee, Winton and Ely, you might live in Minnesota.

If you measure distance in hours, you might live in Minnesota.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you might live in Minnesota.

If you often switch from heat to A/C in the same day and back again, you might live in Minnesota.

If you see people wearing hunting clothes at special events, you might live in Minnesota.

If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching, you might live in Minnesota.

If you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked, you might live in Minnesota.

If you think of the major food groups as beer, fish and venison, you might live in Minnesota.

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them, you might live in Minnesota.

If there are seven empty cars running in the parking lot at Zups Grocery Store at any given time, you might live in Minnesota.

If you design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you might live in Minnesota.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you might live in Minnesota.

If you consider Minneapolis exotic, you might live in Minnesota.

If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce, you might live in Minnesota.

If "down south" means Iowa, if a brat is something you eat, and if you go out to a fish fry every Friday, you might live in Minnesota.

If you find 0 degrees "a little chilly," you really just might live in Minnesota!

If you know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you might live in Minnesota.

On the other hand, you know you're an Iowan when you know the 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction & HOLY #$%@ THATS HOT!


Please let us know how things went after you finish on Friday (or whenever you're up to posting again after your appointment). And, in the meantime, keep posting here and maybe we can help with the anxiety of waiting for D-day. :)
 
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thanks everyone and its really nice to meet you all. lolol Jaylah the funny thing is my whole family except me was from Iowa lolol many of my relatives live there . lolol but I laughed at the Minnesota quotes and they are soooooooooo true!

I remember "going down south to Iowa" and visiting my grandparents thinking I was going to die from the heat! lolol
 
Well, Jeff Foxworthy may have written them about Minnesota, but quite a few of them hit home to me, too. :)


Our Dairy Queens close over the winter.

Yes, it's easier to drive when the potholes are filled with packed snow.

I carry jumper cables in my car at all times, and I know how to use them.

I know how to pronounce Wayzata, Mahtomedia, Edina, Shakopee, Winton and Ely.

I have switched from heat to A/C in the same day and back again more than once.

I don't know about 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, but I do know how to drive in winter. On snowy roads.

I eat brats.


But then, I went to school in Faribault for several years. Perhaps that makes me a semi-honorary Minnesotan?

I was in the VA hospital in Minneapolis having heart surgery and then recovering from a stroke in July/August 2004. Staying for 5 weeks while learning to talk again wasn't originally in the plan, so all I had brought with me was a sundress I'd worn up there and was planning to wear home. I would have frozen to death if it hadn't been for my cardiologist giving me some clothes (including a fleece jacket) that she'd planned to donate to Goodwill. Thank goodness we were the same size!


Judging from how far you're having to drive to get to a good dentist, I'm guessing you're either in the northern or south-western part of the state?
 
In the northern part of the state only about a hundred miles from the Canadian border hubby always wanted to move further north told him he was out of his mind this is far enough for me! Are you in the northern part of Iowa? I talked to my Uncle all the time from Des Moines they really had a great winter! Actually we did too which is very rare for us.
 
iowa_state_cyclones.jpg

Was that enough of a clue for you?

Stop in and say hello next time you visit your uncle. :)


And tell your husband if he moves any further north, he's going to have to change his passport. ;)
 
Thats a very pretty town you live in Jaylah, went through there the last time we were down which has been 7 years now, but honestly most of the towns are really pretty down there, my parents were from Newton and Monroe.


Well here I am its Wednesday and Friday is creeping up at a fast rate. I keep telling myself to calm down its only the first visit which will be figuring out all what has to be done and x-rays and not sure what else decided I am going to print out what I wrote on here about how I got to this point so I do not have to sit and try to tell him the story. I also thought I will write down all the questions I have so I do not forget things that I really want to know, can you tell I am one who likes to know as much as I can before I will allow him to do anything. I am not wild about surprises......:)
My nerves feel like they are stretched about as far as they can go, my stomach is all messed up and I am still fighting this tooth infection its better but not gone so am thinking he will have to write out another ten days of it. I am wondering once he sees me if he will do impressions while I am there or if it will be another trip down there for that really hope he would do them this time, I also wonder how long does it take to make the teeth. Ok well I think I will go and try to find something to do .
 
Can't believe I woke up at 2am this morning, ugh 3 hours sleep. Woke up clenching my teeth so hard my jaws and neck are killing me. Of course I woke up thinking about my appt TOMORROW!!! There's part of me that is so mad at myself for being this way, but yet the other part me just wants to cry and run and hide. phew wears me out............
 
Hello Bisja

You very kindly posted on my journal and so I have been nosey and read your story. My heart goes out to you, but I just wanted to let you know, I had my appointment with the new dentist today, and I have to admit he was lovely. He called me by my first name, and not my whole name. He introduced himself to me and then his nurse.

I had taken my Diazepam about an hour before and my GP had said it would probably make me sleep. Well it didnt, but I really think it calmed me down to how I would have been. I had tears before I left, shaking all of that, but I could feel that easing as we drove. We got there early and my hubby asked if I wanted to go in and wait in the surgery - whoa, the idea of sitting in a place where I didnt want to go in the first place - I dont think so! So we walked the town and had a look around. Then we found a beautiful church, so had a look around that - half way round, I could already feel my wobbly legs going, and I began to shake and cry. My husband said it would be fine, and that it was time to go in.

We went in at exactly 11.15 the time of my appointment. We were shown a little waiting room and asked to fill in a medical form. I couldnt do this for obvious reasons, so Dougie did it for me. I was called in at 11.20, shaking and almost bursting into tears. I sat in the chair to be asked why I had this fear, I explained everything and said it was everything about dentists that I cant take. He was very charming and asked to have a look at my mouth. I reluctantly opened it, and then saw the proddy thing coming towards me - I couldnt speak so pointed at it and shook my head. He was brilliant, removing it from sight and gently looking with the mirror and a gentle feel of my teeth with his fingers.

Well, he then explained that it looked as if I have had root canal done on some of my teeth, but that as I have no pain on the broken tooth that there was a strong possibility that he wont be able to crown it. He then suggested several options, but feels that the best thing to do would be to try for the crown option, but if that doesnt work, then to go for the implant option as he wont be able to know what he can do until he can examine me properly, and find out the strength of my remaining teeth. He also said that I have lost bone around the teeth.

He explained loads of things very well to me, but because I was so scared and had the tablet, I didnt take as much in as I would have liked to have. I wish I had asked at this stage for my husband to come in, as he could have taken in more than me probably.

I came out and was still in a state, a nurse asked me to sit down and offered me water, so I guess my face must have been a picture.

I will have a letter by the weekend with all my options, and then will have to make my decisions and another appointment - I still feel anxious, but nothing like I did, and can try to wind down a bit until my next course of action!

I will keep you all updated, and again thank you all for your support and wish those of you who are going through the same or similar, all the very best. It is a strange and frightening old journey that we are going through, but thank heavens for picking up so good people and advice on the way.

I would just like to ask another favour of you who can help. Has anyone had iv sedation, as I know this is what I am going to have, and if so, what happens, and how do you feel. I have read a couple of stories where it has not worked.

Also, has anyone had an implant, and again what happens and how did you feel.

Thank you in anticipation.

Kim
 
Kim thanks so much for writing, I appreciate it so much! I would not wish this fear on anyone but yet am so happy I am not alone. Kim I think you did a great job just walking into the dentist and opening your mouth, tomorrow I am hoping I have as much courage as you had today. I am a total wreak today.
 
I have been thinking of you, so I hope all goes well for you.

Let us know.

Kim
 
Well I left home yesterday at 8:30am to get to my appt at 1pm, hubby drove. We got there and sat in the van for about half an hour, finally went in, I took a 5mg Valium about an hour before I got there but honestly it did not seem to do much but I am wondering if it lost some strength as I had had it since 2008. I think it took a bit of the edge off I did not cry my way through the appt I guess but I was a nervous wreak. Well got in there and they were running behind as they had 4 emergency cases come in and so it set all the appts behind so I had to wait and it was a little after 2 before I was called in, so first a girl talked with me and then the dentist came in introduced himself and talked a bit with me and had the girl take me for x-rays, got those done by this time my neck was starting to hurt, the dentist came in looked at my teeth and x-rays and then told me what all had to be done, so he will pull 8 teeth on top(thats all I have up there) and on the bottom he will pull 5 teeth and fix one small cavity, I will have full dentures on top and a partial on the bottom, he was a nice enough of man but seemed a bit in a hurry and not so talkative but have a feeling he was having a rough day. I was hoping he would be a little more easy going as that makes me feel calmer, but anyway the bad news is I wanted to be put out to have this work done but they won't because I have sleep apnea and would have to be sent to a surgical center , but he told me that I could have gas or he could prescribe a 10 mg Valium so I thought about my choices and decided to go with the Valium and just get this done, hope I made the right decision, but had this feeling I had better make it or I will back out all together! I am petrified! So when it came time to make the appts I set them for soon on the 27th I go for the impressions and to have my teeth on the bottom cleaned that will be kept, then on April 9th I will have the extractions and the cavity done and get the new teeth put in, the next day I will go back in and he will see how the gums look and if the teeth are sitting right. After that I will come home to heal and if need any adjustments will do that as needed in three months I will get the permanent partials and the hard reline on the uppers. phew I wish this was over. Today my neck and jaws are killing me they are so tight can not even turn my head and hardly open my mouth . Honestly right now this just seems like a giant nightmare to me. One I will be so happy to be done with. Sorry for being a downer but feel very blue right now.
 
I took a 5mg Valium about an hour before I got there but honestly it did not seem to do much but I am wondering if it lost some strength as I had had it since 2008. I think it took a bit of the edge off I did not cry my way through the appt...

This does not surprise me, girlfriend, as that's exactly the way they do for me, too. Since they don't make you feel totally stupid-drugged, you think they're "not doing much" but then you realize that you're just nervous as all get out, yet not running out of the room in a full-blown panic attack. :p So they're actually doing what they are supposed to.

It's too bad they had all those emergencies hit on top of running behind. I would imagine the dentist was probably trying to juggle a lot in his mind, and ended up being a bit more distracted than he (and you) would have preferred. It would have been nice if you could have just rescheduled for another (less busy) day, but I understand that you can't keep driving that far for nothing.

I guess the good news is that this first visit is over, and you know know what needs to be done, etc. At least you have a plan of action now.

You're right in that this is all going to take a while. Try to keep the "end goal" in sight. When it's all over, you'll have a nice smile, no more mouth pain, etc.

But also keep in mind that you are a partner in this endeavor. Dentist don't do things "to" us, they do things "for" us.

We can certainly understand the old adage of "Stuff happens" but if, after your second visit, you realize that this dentist is always overbooked and rushed, don't get your head locked into the idea that you've started with this dentist so you have to finish with him. If he's not meeting your needs, you have every right to find one that can/will.

For right now, get a towel and wring it out in the hottest water your hands can comfortably stand. Then wrap the towel around your neck and shoulders. When it starts to cool off, do it again. (Maybe hubby will help with this?)

Alternatively, if you have a bathtub big enough, fill it with water as hot as you can comfortably stand and slouch down into the water so it covers your neck and shoulders. Let a little water out and refill with more hot water as needed.

And plan treats for yourself as you finish phases of this. I mean, after having the rest of your top teeth extracted, you're probably not going to want to go to a Broadway play that night, but think of things you want to do as a "reward" for each session, and then do them when you're ready. Like, "After I finish my second appointment, I'm going to make an appointment to have a full manicure done." And then DO it when you are feeling recovered enough. Then, instead of just thinking about the dread of upcoming appointments, you'll also have the good anticipation of your treats.

Right now, you have a perfect right to "feel blue." I'm not going to try to give you false cheer and say, "Oh, it's all going to be just fine." Some things will hurt, and you will be sore after some procedures. But keep in mind that there IS an end. And you will be so much healthier then!!

:XXLhug:
 
Thanks Jaylah I think if I didn't deal with this myofascial pain thing it would be so much better, I am hoping when I do the 10 mg Valium that it will help the muscles stay a little loser after all is done I plan on making an appt with chiropractor for ultra sound for probably three or four times to try to calm neck down. The plus side that I am thinking is once this is done I will only have 6 teeth on the bottom that I will have to take care of and have cleanings on which is fine with me as I am sick of my teeth! So 13 teeth in total he will pull on the 9th and fix a cavity, I could have made another appt for the cavity but I thought why.....get the numbing and the anxiety and that part of the nightmare over in one time! ugh... Your right I need to think of something I really would like to do or buy to treat myself! I was thinking when this gets all done I think that dentist should give me a goodie basket! I mean geeezzzzzzz I am not sure he does anything like that but hey samples of denture cleaner uhmmmm poligrip or whatever and it should have a GREAT BIG BOW ON IT!!! well ok maybe not the bow but still something... as with what I will be paying honestly the man should by me a diamond ring! :)
 
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:) I think they do usually give out samples.

I know every time I go I get a new toothbrush (which I keep for unexpected overnight guests since I use an electric one), floss, and mouthwash.

So why wouldn't they give somebody with new dentures some sample products for use with those?
 
I know I figure with what I am paying for these things I should at least get a brush, a few samples of denture products maybe a box to keep the things in ! ;D only sounds fair to me......
 
I'm almost sure you'll get a plastic box to keep them in.

And then you need a "Bedazzler" to put a bunch of colored rhinestones and stuff on it to give it a bit of bling. :)
 
hmmm a bedazzler now that sounds like a good item to treat myself with!!
 
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