brief introduction of meself

A couple of weeks ago, due to ongoing issues with a wisdom tooth, I went to the dentist for the very first time in my 34 years of being on earth in this lifetime. I didn't eat much for the few days leading up the appt, and would get pretty shaky and clammy at the thought of it. It wasn't the best experience, as I could have done a much better job of communicating my needs to the staff, and it could have been a lot better. I took a friend with me, and learned once I got there, that she wasn't allowed to come back with me. So, I cowboyed up and went it alone, despite the fact that this was a major loop to be thrown for.

The dentist was very gentle with my mouth, which was awesome, but she did not give me enough information on anything. I think the thing that did it for her was when she activated the motor to lean the chair back, I got no warning. All I know is that it felt that the back of the chair was falling out from behind me. The further it leaned back, the further I leaned forward. The dentist was actually pulling back on my shoulder, telling me to 'just lay down', 'just lay down'. So not helpful. The hygienist finally told me that the chair was fine and there was even a little pillow for my head. Once I was able to process that, I laid back, held the hygienist's hand and let the dentist have a look. She peeked in my mouth, sat me up and proceeded to tell me that she was referring me to an oral surgeon for i.v. sedation for extraction that tooth due to my fear level, and asked me if I had ever considered therapy. I was pretty offended. I had done a lot mental work to prepare for this visit, and was feeling almost proud of myself for only tearing up a little bit when I first walked in the room. I really got the feeling that she just didn't want to 'deal with me.'

The consult with the oral surgeon was great! He saw no reason for i.v. sedation, and even hinted a teensy bit that he wasn't sure why the dentist referred me to him. I have learned that it's best when I state multiple times that I must be told what's going to happen before it happens. Things like, 'this part of the xray machine will move in a circle around your head', 'it might feel like the machine is trying to pop your head off, but that won't happen', even, 'let me know if it feels like this is going to make you gag' was hugely reassuring. The more information about what was happening or what could happen the better. In discussing the treatment plan, he told me that it's my choice to schedule the appt for extraction, but to please not wait too long. He also said 'it'll be three shots, five minutes of me in your mouth, and then you'll be driving yourself back home'.

I'm planning on getting this extraction accomplished, then working on finding a regular dentist in the future. I currently have a telephone call in to the surgeon's office to schedule the appt.

Good on you for getting through your first appointment, and even better on you for the second. I was only saying to someone yesterday, that there are health pro's out there who whilst extremely competent in their jobs, have absolutely no people skills, and whilst we would all prefer a good job to be done, a little empathy and explanation can go a long way to getting us through our own hell.

I hope that you manage to make that call, and that all goes well for you. In the meantime, you take care, and be proud of yourself for what you have achieved after all of this time.

Kim

Welcome Osprey ,

I'm glad your experience with the oral surgeon was so much better than with the dentist you went to originally. I can't see any reason why your friend shouldn't have been allowed in with you, and her chairside manner sounded rather non-existent!

Maybe you could ask your oral surgeon if he can recommend any dentists with a good chairside manner, who explain things and reassure you as they go along? The advantage of asking someone like an oral surgeon for a recommendation would be that he will also have seen other dentists' actual work, and he'll know who's good and who's not so good in that regard.

Good luck with making the call and well done on all your progress so far

Hi Osprey-

Welcome! It is too bad that your initial dentist was not as sympathetic or patient as the oral surgeon was, but you sound like you're doing great in your treatment.

You sound pretty confident; I've been going to a dentist for 6 months now and you sound even better than me!

I hope you'll continue to post here. We're always happy to give support or advice.

Hi Osprey,

While reading your post , i felt your believe and determination in achieving the positive experiences. Your post should be read by as many dental phobic people as possible.
The oral surgeon sounds like a keeper.

The other dentist...less

Hi welcome to the forum, you did really well going to see the oral surgeon after your experience with the first dentist. The first dentist isn't really very good, I and a lot of other people need to know what is going to happen before it happens. They should be telling you anyway because you have to consent to any treatment and if you don't know what is going to happen, you cannot give consent.
It is know as informed consent and it is up to your dentist to give you all the information you need to be able to make a decission, you need to know all the in's and outs or your choices.

The oral surgeon sounds really considerate and helpful, good for him. Try and find another dentist that will talk and listen to you so that you can work on building a trusting relationship with them.

I hope you make that call soon, it will be fine and what the oral surgeon told you is true, you will be really numb and it will be over so quick you won't believe it. You will be surprised when you hear the words, 'there it is gone' and they will put a piece of gauze over the extraction site and tell you to bite down, when they see that a clot has formed, they will remove it and you can go.

Good luck

Goodness! Thanks for all the welcomes, backpats, and kind words! I am waiting for a call back to schedule the extraction. They were very busy and I had to leave a message with their answering service. If I don't hear anything by mid-day Monday, I'm going to call them again.

Bolding below is mine.

Kim said:

Good on you for getting through your first appointment, and even better on you for the second. I was only saying to someone yesterday, that there are health pro's out there who whilst extremely competent in their jobs, have absolutely no people skills, and whilst we would all prefer a good job to be done, a little empathy and explanation can go a long way to getting us through our own hell.

I hope that you manage to make that call, and that all goes well for you. In the meantime, you take care, and be proud of yourself for what you have achieved after all of this time.

Kim

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This. So totally this!

letsconnect said:

Welcome Osprey ,

I'm glad your experience with the oral surgeon was so much better than with the dentist you went to originally. I can't see any reason why your friend shouldn't have been allowed in with you, and her chairside manner sounded rather non-existent!

Maybe you could ask your oral surgeon if he can recommend any dentists with a good chairside manner, who explain things and reassure you as they go along? The advantage of asking someone like an oral surgeon for a recommendation would be that he will also have seen other dentists' actual work, and he'll know who's good and who's not so good in that regard.

Good luck with making the call and well done on all your progress so far

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The only thing I can think of is a potential HIPPA violation or violations. The treatment areas don't have doors, but a wall with two doorways. The oral surgeon doesn't allow anyone back with you either, and they stated that that is to maintain surgical sterility. There is something of a problem with MRSA in one of the local hospitals, so maybe that's where their concern comes from?

shamrockerin said:

Hi Osprey-

Welcome! It is too bad that your initial dentist was not as sympathetic or patient as the oral surgeon was, but you sound like you're doing great in your treatment.

You sound pretty confident; I've been going to a dentist for 6 months now and you sound even better than me!

I hope you'll continue to post here. We're always happy to give support or advice.

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HA!!!! I try like hell to sound confident so that I will be confident. Sometimes it even works.

Dr. Daniel said:

Hi Osprey,

While reading your post , i felt your believe and determination in achieving the positive experiences. Your post should be read by as many dental phobic people as possible.
The oral surgeon sounds like a keeper.

The other dentist...less

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Yeah, it's too bad he won't do general dentistry - I was brave enough to ask!

Hi, Osprey,
I am the same way with medical and dental procedures. Tell me EVERYTHING, that means every little noise and/or sound I''m likely to hear, any discomfort I might feel, the possible complications, etc., etc.,. When I am prepared in this manner, I usually have a somewhat (not COMPLETELY) stress-free visit.
I agree with everyone........the first dentist I would never go back to...............the oral surgeon sounds wonderful!!!
to you for getting through the first dentist!!!! I probably would have walked out on her, so to you!!!!!

Hi chickenjen,

Exactly! Tell me everything, and I do mean everything! Why is this so hard for care providers? I've had regular nurses and MDs actually laugh at me when I've told them this. I mean really, who are we to know what our needs are?

I think our doctors and dentists are afraid they will scare us off with all the details. Not so, at least for me!!! I am MORE scared if I DON'T know the details.
My internal medicine doctor and finally now my dentist are pretty good (not PERFECT) at giving me more detailed explanations of my conditions and/or treatment. My GYN not so much.
I usually end up going to "Dr Google" for more details of a condition, procedure or treatment.