• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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New here and at a standstill

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Harperista

Junior member
Joined
Oct 20, 2012
Messages
11
Hi all, after reading this forum I figured I could come here for some support. I have had clinical treatment for anxiety for years which includes "white coat syndrome". I am terrified of Doctors and only go when I really need one. Fortunately, I've had some pretty invasive therapy that has worked well with anxiety issues and I was able to make an appointment with the Dentist.

I got through appointment #1 and uhh...well let's say things were cut short. It didn't go well at all. Fortunately, the staff were all very kind and just asked me if I had a bad experience. Yeah! Every Dentist visit ever was a nightmare and a half. When I was a kid, the Dentist was so nasty to my brother and I that my Mom almost laid the guy out. My wisdom teeth extractions when I was 21 was horrid because there wasn't enough anesthetic and I felt it. Plus, I have been diagnosed with tmj and I am being treated for it (I have no choice) but the grinding of my teeth has broken down a few of my molars. My teeth arent in the best shape.

Well, today was appointment 2 and I made it! I feel pretty darn good about that part! Once I got the treatment plan, my chest tightened again.I knew I'd need a lot of work but the Dentist wants to crown quite a few of my molars and my insurance just won't cover the crowns. We spent a better part of the day fighting with my insurance but they won't budge. It will cost me 4 grand out of pocket. i just don't have it!

So I gulped and asked them if we could opt to extract those teeth and put in partial dentures. With my family history, it makes some sense anyway. Heck, my whole family has dentures and many of them were using dentures before 40 years old. We do take care of our teeth but they just don't hold up! My cousin is 26 and she is already sporting partials in the front. Even without grinding, our teeth just break.

Sadly, the Dentist was not OK with this idea. I don't understand why not either. I mean, these crowns are going to grind my teeth down to practically nothing anyway and I just can't afford it. Then, things went from "we're doing OK" to not good at all. Their entire attitude towards me was almost like they didn't care about me as a patient anymore. I lost the "I'm going to get through this" feeling and now I'm just dreading seeing them again. I don't know what to do now. I feel like every progress I made was undone today.
 
Hi Harperista!

Welcome! I am glad you found us- we're a pretty good bunch.;)

I lurked on this site for a couple months before I registered and started posting. I can relate to your white coat phobia; I avoid doctors/dentists as well. Whenever I do go to a doctor, even if it's for the tiniest thing, they comment on how high my blood pressure is, and then I am embarrassed to explain why.

Many people develop a fear of dentistry because of a bad experience, or several. I know I have my own, and I've read dozens more. I only started going to see a dentist again a few months ago, and my anxiety takes over everytime I have to go. I had an appointment that was rough, and I cannot express how discouraged I was by it. But just by going and getting through the entire appointment, you made some progress.

I hope you'll keep posting on here- we all make great cheerleaders for each other.:cheer:
 
I would find another dentist, I know it is hard but if you cannot afford treatment for all of the work you can't, could you come to an arrangement to pay in instalments.

It sounds like you have lost faith in this dentist and you may find a more understanding one if you look around. Don't be discouraged by this, many of us on here have had to try more than one dentist before we found the right one.

I wish you Good luck :clover::clover::clover: :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:
 
Hi and thanks for the welcome. I did lose a little faith in the Dentist after today. I just was made to feel like I was a paycheck and they didn't really care about my health or well being. I'm going to speak with them tomorrow and if they can't work with me, I'll pick up my X-rays and go find someone else.

I do need 2 extractions and that's huge because they want to put me under and if there's one thing I am more scared if its anesthesia . Oh my gosh the idea of that really freaks me out! I guess it's a good thing I'm seeing my therapist in the morning haha!
 
i understand the part about feeling like a patient to feeling like a pay check. i have the same feeling when i said i don't want the crown, because i have already spent US$1700 for a root canal and a couple of fillings. i was asked too to consider two crowns and a bridge and an implant if i could afford it. so when i said i will have to opt for normal fillings first, i felt a change of attitude and the dentist then said if a person's health is not in order or has high cholesterol, what should the patient do? i feel a little patronized, though i must say i am eternally grateful that he did a good job nonetheless for me. now i must clean my teeth religiously to keep it as long as possible. it's a battle because i have corrosive teeth due to high acid saliva.

i hope you will find a dentist you will feel comfortable with. if the present one is good, like how i feel about mine, i will just have to have selective hearing and try to have more positive thoughts. it's not easy i must admit. because a bad feeling is a bad feeling. :cry:
one incident which intensified my hurt feelings was, he left me for twenty minutes to do another patient or talk to someone else outside the room, i really don't know as i couldn't tell. i take it that it was an emergency he had to deal with and not because i was not a potential good money churner anymore.
and for another session, he took in a learning nurse to assist, who was not effective and bungled some move. that never happened during the earlier sessions when i was still paying good money so to say. sigh.
still, i give credit where credit is due. he is good and so i leave it at that. finding another dentist will be another trauma so i don't want to give myself that unneeded stress. i should love myself more. :redface:
 
Hi Harperista, just the thought of having to see more than one dentist would make me :o but I think in your position, I would try to do just that. As Carole says, you may be able to find someone more sympathetic, who might also offer some sort of payment plan if need be. After all, if you were looking for a new winter coat, you'd shop around, wouldn't you? and this is much more important and longer-lasting than a new coat. Regarding anaesthesia, I've had iv sedation twice and general anaesthesia twice (not all for dental work!) and honestly, I've never had a problem - I would tell you if I had. General anaesthetic can give you the shakes for a short time afterwards...iv sedation is ;D. I wish you all the best.
 
Hi guys, truth be told it's not the actual Dentist who is being kind of a jerk. It's the assistant (I'm not sure if she is a hygenist or what) who is working on my case. Dr. Mathis has been nothing but really nice with me. He knows how anxious I am and knows about the tmj issues. Yesterday I jumped a little and he stopped completely asking me if I was OK. I tried to talk to them again today and I was told she'd call me back. I might just bypass her completely and make an appointment for the root planing they want to do and just speak to the Doc directly.

About the root planing...has anyone had this? How bad is it? The internet isn't helping me with how I feel about it. :o
 
If you have confidence in the dentist and are happy to be seen by this person, then do by pass the person that you are not liking and see the dentist. :) I would
 
I updated in the journal section. I have zero confidence in this Dentist at all. He doesn't even want me as a patient and neither does anyone else. I'm literally at a loss for what to do. I can't even start any work because of this. I kind of feel like just saying forget it.
 
get the crowns! Maybe you can find a dental college and get the work done cheaper, but don't lose the teeth that is a decision that you will regret for years. There is no partial that is as good as your own teeth. Or, you might want to get a second opinion...my last dentist told me I needed 3 crowns, I had been seeing him regularly for 3 years and this was the first time he said a word about me needing any crowns; he had no real explanation so I found a new dentist. My new dentist looked shocked when I told him that, he said you need ONE crown, one of the teeth he wanted to crown is perfectly sound, and the other I can fix with a small tooth colored filling!

About root planing, I just finished that today. They did it in 2, two hour sessions. The first time they gave me several shots of a local anesthetic and I was numb for 7 hours. When I went back today I told the hygienist that I did not want to be numb for that long and that I couldn't understand why I even need a local. She did it without giving me anything and except for a few areas that caused me some pain (but it was tolerable) it went real well. It sounds worse than it is. If you have ever had them scrape below your gum line when they clean your teeth, that is what it feels like. It's not a kind of pain that bothers me a lot, it's nothing like when they drill a tooth without enough local anesthesia.
 
I cant get the crowns. I cant afford the crowns. My insurance just wont cover enough to get the crowns. My husband and I are both previously divorced which means our credit is shot and financing plans won't approve either of us. The only dental college here has an awful reputation and is really only recommended as an emergency last resort. They have zero compassion and the conditions are not very nice. You are a teaching dummy. You are not a patient. Plus, they won't take my insurance plan so I will have to self pay and I cant afford it.

Well root planing does not sound like the worst experience. Strangely enough, I can handle someone messing with my gums. It's everything else that really tweaks me out. But when the office talked to me about root planing, they did not offer a local. They just said "If it hurts, we'll put something on your gum to numb it a little bit."


But both don't really matter now because that Dentist doesn't want to keep me as a patient and no one else does either. You know...after years of being terrified of this, I felt really good about just going. I was on a complete high and now this has turned into the same bad experience every other Dentist has turned into. Just like I said about the college, I'm not a person or a patient. I'm a paycheck and if I can't be that paycheck - they don't care. ...At least this one didn't try to numb me up and pull a wisdom tooth when I could still feel it. :(
 
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