A
anxiousbum
Member
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2016
- Messages
- 86
I have a feeling that documenting my feelings will really help me. Helping other people in a similar people will be a bonus too.
So I've just finally moved out of my parents house and am now living with my boyfriend, yay! Personal circumstances back there meant that things may have been left to slip a little. Now it's time to embrace the change, do things that scare me and take care of myself. I've mastered the diet thing, so now my teeth (or more accurately my messed up gums)!
I don't know if my teeth have been bad for a while or if I'm just getting into the habit of not running away from my problems. I'm embarrassed to say that my oral hygiene was a little (very) crappy before I moved out. I don't really remember ever being encouraged by my parents to brush my teeth and due to my mothers severe anxiety of the dentist, she decided not to take us anymore and made sure we knew that it was a horrible place to visit. Boy I wish that she had though. But that was back then, I am an independent adult (sometimes ) now and it's time for me to take responsibility for myself. I want to be able to tell my kids, one day but hopefully not anytime soon, that the dentist is fine and have the smile to show for it.
I've been much better at brushing since I turned the sink into a scene from a horror film, I've even invested in an electric toothbrush, an oral irrigator (Hate that name!) and have been pushing myself through the delightful taste of corsydyl. I can't deny how much brushing my teeth still scares me, especially when there is blood, as it means I can't hide from the problems anymore but I'm starting to take control again. When I was flossing yesterday and I managed to convince my anxious self that the only way I would be able to get the stuck floss out of my teeth would be to knock one out, I felt myself going light headed...but most importantly I sat on the floor until the room stopped spinning and I carried on...and my partner as always, really helped me to rationalise.
And so the biggest petrifying but also a little exciting news...I did it, I made the appointment. My boyfriend had to hold my hand and I almost blubbed in front of the receptionist but I did it. I've been trying hard to break down what exactly it is that scares me most about going, which is difficult with an inherited phobia but I'm going to keep blogging until I find out. No matter what it is, and what it takes to overcome it I will. And you will too, like we have overcome so many things before.
So I've just finally moved out of my parents house and am now living with my boyfriend, yay! Personal circumstances back there meant that things may have been left to slip a little. Now it's time to embrace the change, do things that scare me and take care of myself. I've mastered the diet thing, so now my teeth (or more accurately my messed up gums)!
I don't know if my teeth have been bad for a while or if I'm just getting into the habit of not running away from my problems. I'm embarrassed to say that my oral hygiene was a little (very) crappy before I moved out. I don't really remember ever being encouraged by my parents to brush my teeth and due to my mothers severe anxiety of the dentist, she decided not to take us anymore and made sure we knew that it was a horrible place to visit. Boy I wish that she had though. But that was back then, I am an independent adult (sometimes ) now and it's time for me to take responsibility for myself. I want to be able to tell my kids, one day but hopefully not anytime soon, that the dentist is fine and have the smile to show for it.
I've been much better at brushing since I turned the sink into a scene from a horror film, I've even invested in an electric toothbrush, an oral irrigator (Hate that name!) and have been pushing myself through the delightful taste of corsydyl. I can't deny how much brushing my teeth still scares me, especially when there is blood, as it means I can't hide from the problems anymore but I'm starting to take control again. When I was flossing yesterday and I managed to convince my anxious self that the only way I would be able to get the stuck floss out of my teeth would be to knock one out, I felt myself going light headed...but most importantly I sat on the floor until the room stopped spinning and I carried on...and my partner as always, really helped me to rationalise.
And so the biggest petrifying but also a little exciting news...I did it, I made the appointment. My boyfriend had to hold my hand and I almost blubbed in front of the receptionist but I did it. I've been trying hard to break down what exactly it is that scares me most about going, which is difficult with an inherited phobia but I'm going to keep blogging until I find out. No matter what it is, and what it takes to overcome it I will. And you will too, like we have overcome so many things before.
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