F
fearfulnomore
Junior member
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2018
- Messages
- 1
Hi everyone,
I'm brand new here to these forums, but I will say how instrumental everyone's stories are from their fears to their successes. The night before I was going into an emergency scheduled appointment for my teeth, I cried my eyes out in disbelief that I was not the only person in the world that had the same feelings that I do about dentists. Being able to relate on a very deep and dark shameful aspect of myself was beyond cathartic, the deepest of my darkest self was starting to see the light. This is my story of my recent success and I hope it really helps people know they are not alone and they can do anything they put their mind to and its not going to be bad.
Sometime when I was younger, maybe when I was less then 10 years old is when I last sat in the dentist chair. I'm not sure what procedure was being done, either a filling in my back molar or one of my front teeth having to be pulled for the growing in tooth to move in straighter (mind you it never did come in straight but more crooked than the one they pulled). That was it for me. My mother more or less respected me and my brothers wishes that we didn't want to ever go back to the dentist and she definitely either didn't want to spend the money or really was just giving us what we wanted.
Later in my twenties, it started with my back lower molar. I remember eating jelly beans in a grocery store when I bit down and my very first chunk of tooth broke off. It was startling! Everything my father taught me about eating candy and teeth falling out of your mouth was suddenly become very real and true! Not wanting to spend the money, fearing beyond god going back into a dentist chair, I suffered the miseries of tooth pain, abscesses, and taking a lot of motrin to relieve the pain. But soon I was completely out of pain, the tooth was completely dead, and my mouth was still perfectly functional again.
Over the years, the crisis continued with tooth after tooth starting to fall out and me trying to think I was going to win every challenge if I just stuck with the pain and process for the tooth to completely die and be out of pain. I was fortunate. I've never got sick on any infection my mouth ever gave me so obviously I didn't think there could be anything wrong with my teeth falling out. There was something so disturbingly special about knowing that I will never go to the dentist again, and everyone else in the world does. That everyone hates the dentist, but you know what I don't even go and it hasn't affected me yet that there is something seriously wrong with that.
When did I finally decide to go to the dentist? I'm now 36 years old. The last time I went to the dentist I was probably 7 or 8 years old. I had 6 teeth fall out over those years, and while I was still able to eat anything I wanted, that time was over. While I had no back molars on the lower side of my mouth, the next tooth on the lower right side was a premolar. I needed this tooth. I needed this tooth for me to continue living the life I was living not having to ever go back to the dentist. My dreams were instantly killed when I bit down into something and the first piece fell off from that tooth.
It would take another year or so for it to finally chip away again and when it did it did not take long for it to get infected to the point I had the biggest abscess I've ever had in my mouth. It had protruded into my jaw bone and created a one inch long fissure in it. The morning I woke up with it, I took a look at myself in the mirror and was shocked in horror that it deformed my face a little. I am a DJ and was producing an event that day where I would very much be in the public eye.
The next day, I woke up, got online and started to look up ER dentists in my area. I was really scared. I found the most highly rated dentist on yelp, he even is the dentists to a lot of celebrities (so so so dumb of a reason for me to choose him over everyone else but it was kind of intriguing. If celebrities trust this guy, so could I!).
And I just did it. I was done. I was done being in pain. I was done for feeling ashamed. I found this website and started reading other peoples stories here and just cried and cried and cried. Here I was taking the biggest step ever towards ending my biggest fear ever and they're people JUST LIKE ME. It felt so good.
I called the dentists office and it went to voicemail. Seconds later I got a text from the dentist asking me if I was in an emergency situation. I texted back and said yes and explained my issue and within 30 min he called in a prescription for an antibiotic and some high strength Ibuprofen. He also confirmed an appointment at 11am the next day!
Next morning I got up, got dressed, and just did it. Knowing that I was no longer going to be in pain and I wasn't going to lose another tooth, it was all starting to feel glorifying.
I got to the office and checked in. It was awkward writing "unknown" under "Last dental check up" or when it asked for the name of my current dentist and I just left it blank. But I was doing it. I was filling the paperwork out and I'm gonna get my teeth fixed.
I sat down in the dentist chair and couldn't believe my mind. I had the most nicest view of the Hollywood Hills (I live in Los Angeles). It was a beautiful sunny day outside despite that it had been raining for the past few days. I suddenly see a lady bug keep hitting into the window from the outside and I almost started crying. I was getting so emotional. The tears felt like tears of joy though. VICTORY was MINE. I didn't end up actually crying tears, but felt that profound and beautiful emotion of doing so.
And then it happened. One of the assistants came in a needed to take x-rays of my mouth. It was a lot different now. Back then I remember we had to bite down on these weird folded pieces of whatever that material was and having that big ass camera thing with the long nose in your face. It was the same in theory today, but she put this electronic device into my mouth and the process was super quicker! I though ht that was a neat advancement!
And then it was off to the races! I agreed to the root canal and inlay and he even knocked out extracting the left over remains of the last two molars that had already decayed in my of my mouth.
Best part about the whole experience? I FELT NOTHING. NOT EVEN A SLIGHT PINCH FROM THE ANESTHESIA INJECTION STRAIGHT INTO MY GUMS. I can't say I enjoyed the whole process, but you know what? I was fixing my teeth. And it didn't matter what I was experiencing. Think about it when a woman gives birth to a child, thats got to be the most scariest and painful experience ever! But she's having a child. Its the most amazing gift on earth! So she is willing to succumb to the experience and feel everything that she does because she is going to have a child. And you know what, that should be the same reason you have no fear to go to the dentist. The same glory of having a child is the same glory of what it feels like to have your teeth being worked on KNOWING that you won't have to be ashamed and in pain anymore!
I have another appointment next week so that he can finish the root canal and set the stage for future procedures etc. I'm not saying I'm completely cured after one visit, but I'm still very much riding on the high of knowing I'm doing the most absolute best thing for myself right now!
I would like the remaining dead teeth remnants extracted and may consider veneers for my front 4 front teeth (to fix the error the dentist made when I was 7 or 8) and I probably wouldn't hesitate to look into tooth implants for my missing molars.
The bottom line is... appreciate yourself. Love yourself. It's hard. But we deserve the most absolute best for ourselves and it is not fair we continue to treat ourselves the way we do. Everyone is different and it will take whatever specifically they need to take the next step for themselves. For me it was no longer wanting to feel ashamed.
Sometimes you just gotta sick of your own damn self and ways to finally see the light and just do whatever it takes to in life.
Thank you very much for listening and I really do hope this inspires at least ONE person to just GET UP and DO SOMETHING with your fear.
Its not that bad.
I'm not being insensitive. I say that because I love you enough to want to motivate you to change. Even if its just one person.
I'm brand new here to these forums, but I will say how instrumental everyone's stories are from their fears to their successes. The night before I was going into an emergency scheduled appointment for my teeth, I cried my eyes out in disbelief that I was not the only person in the world that had the same feelings that I do about dentists. Being able to relate on a very deep and dark shameful aspect of myself was beyond cathartic, the deepest of my darkest self was starting to see the light. This is my story of my recent success and I hope it really helps people know they are not alone and they can do anything they put their mind to and its not going to be bad.
Sometime when I was younger, maybe when I was less then 10 years old is when I last sat in the dentist chair. I'm not sure what procedure was being done, either a filling in my back molar or one of my front teeth having to be pulled for the growing in tooth to move in straighter (mind you it never did come in straight but more crooked than the one they pulled). That was it for me. My mother more or less respected me and my brothers wishes that we didn't want to ever go back to the dentist and she definitely either didn't want to spend the money or really was just giving us what we wanted.
Later in my twenties, it started with my back lower molar. I remember eating jelly beans in a grocery store when I bit down and my very first chunk of tooth broke off. It was startling! Everything my father taught me about eating candy and teeth falling out of your mouth was suddenly become very real and true! Not wanting to spend the money, fearing beyond god going back into a dentist chair, I suffered the miseries of tooth pain, abscesses, and taking a lot of motrin to relieve the pain. But soon I was completely out of pain, the tooth was completely dead, and my mouth was still perfectly functional again.
Over the years, the crisis continued with tooth after tooth starting to fall out and me trying to think I was going to win every challenge if I just stuck with the pain and process for the tooth to completely die and be out of pain. I was fortunate. I've never got sick on any infection my mouth ever gave me so obviously I didn't think there could be anything wrong with my teeth falling out. There was something so disturbingly special about knowing that I will never go to the dentist again, and everyone else in the world does. That everyone hates the dentist, but you know what I don't even go and it hasn't affected me yet that there is something seriously wrong with that.
When did I finally decide to go to the dentist? I'm now 36 years old. The last time I went to the dentist I was probably 7 or 8 years old. I had 6 teeth fall out over those years, and while I was still able to eat anything I wanted, that time was over. While I had no back molars on the lower side of my mouth, the next tooth on the lower right side was a premolar. I needed this tooth. I needed this tooth for me to continue living the life I was living not having to ever go back to the dentist. My dreams were instantly killed when I bit down into something and the first piece fell off from that tooth.
It would take another year or so for it to finally chip away again and when it did it did not take long for it to get infected to the point I had the biggest abscess I've ever had in my mouth. It had protruded into my jaw bone and created a one inch long fissure in it. The morning I woke up with it, I took a look at myself in the mirror and was shocked in horror that it deformed my face a little. I am a DJ and was producing an event that day where I would very much be in the public eye.
The next day, I woke up, got online and started to look up ER dentists in my area. I was really scared. I found the most highly rated dentist on yelp, he even is the dentists to a lot of celebrities (so so so dumb of a reason for me to choose him over everyone else but it was kind of intriguing. If celebrities trust this guy, so could I!).
And I just did it. I was done. I was done being in pain. I was done for feeling ashamed. I found this website and started reading other peoples stories here and just cried and cried and cried. Here I was taking the biggest step ever towards ending my biggest fear ever and they're people JUST LIKE ME. It felt so good.
I called the dentists office and it went to voicemail. Seconds later I got a text from the dentist asking me if I was in an emergency situation. I texted back and said yes and explained my issue and within 30 min he called in a prescription for an antibiotic and some high strength Ibuprofen. He also confirmed an appointment at 11am the next day!
Next morning I got up, got dressed, and just did it. Knowing that I was no longer going to be in pain and I wasn't going to lose another tooth, it was all starting to feel glorifying.
I got to the office and checked in. It was awkward writing "unknown" under "Last dental check up" or when it asked for the name of my current dentist and I just left it blank. But I was doing it. I was filling the paperwork out and I'm gonna get my teeth fixed.
I sat down in the dentist chair and couldn't believe my mind. I had the most nicest view of the Hollywood Hills (I live in Los Angeles). It was a beautiful sunny day outside despite that it had been raining for the past few days. I suddenly see a lady bug keep hitting into the window from the outside and I almost started crying. I was getting so emotional. The tears felt like tears of joy though. VICTORY was MINE. I didn't end up actually crying tears, but felt that profound and beautiful emotion of doing so.
And then it happened. One of the assistants came in a needed to take x-rays of my mouth. It was a lot different now. Back then I remember we had to bite down on these weird folded pieces of whatever that material was and having that big ass camera thing with the long nose in your face. It was the same in theory today, but she put this electronic device into my mouth and the process was super quicker! I though ht that was a neat advancement!
And then it was off to the races! I agreed to the root canal and inlay and he even knocked out extracting the left over remains of the last two molars that had already decayed in my of my mouth.
Best part about the whole experience? I FELT NOTHING. NOT EVEN A SLIGHT PINCH FROM THE ANESTHESIA INJECTION STRAIGHT INTO MY GUMS. I can't say I enjoyed the whole process, but you know what? I was fixing my teeth. And it didn't matter what I was experiencing. Think about it when a woman gives birth to a child, thats got to be the most scariest and painful experience ever! But she's having a child. Its the most amazing gift on earth! So she is willing to succumb to the experience and feel everything that she does because she is going to have a child. And you know what, that should be the same reason you have no fear to go to the dentist. The same glory of having a child is the same glory of what it feels like to have your teeth being worked on KNOWING that you won't have to be ashamed and in pain anymore!
I have another appointment next week so that he can finish the root canal and set the stage for future procedures etc. I'm not saying I'm completely cured after one visit, but I'm still very much riding on the high of knowing I'm doing the most absolute best thing for myself right now!
I would like the remaining dead teeth remnants extracted and may consider veneers for my front 4 front teeth (to fix the error the dentist made when I was 7 or 8) and I probably wouldn't hesitate to look into tooth implants for my missing molars.
The bottom line is... appreciate yourself. Love yourself. It's hard. But we deserve the most absolute best for ourselves and it is not fair we continue to treat ourselves the way we do. Everyone is different and it will take whatever specifically they need to take the next step for themselves. For me it was no longer wanting to feel ashamed.
Sometimes you just gotta sick of your own damn self and ways to finally see the light and just do whatever it takes to in life.
Thank you very much for listening and I really do hope this inspires at least ONE person to just GET UP and DO SOMETHING with your fear.
Its not that bad.
I'm not being insensitive. I say that because I love you enough to want to motivate you to change. Even if its just one person.
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