Please help me take the first step

Hi,

So I haven’t been to the dentist in quite some time, about 16 years! I feel really embarrassed admitting that but I’ve always struggled at the dentist. I can’t open my mouth very wide and I find it hard to keep my mouth open without reaching. I went to the dentist for regular check-ups as a child, every 6 months without fail until I was about 16 but it was horrible. I don’t like laying back in the chair and looking up and seeing people with their faces half covered and the instruments etc. I’m always scared I’m going to choke, my teeth will get knocked and fall out. I never liked it when my teeth were lose as a child, I would swap sides I ate, wouldn’t touch it, scared to go to sleep in case it fell out in the night so I’ve always been nervous around my teeth and care of them. I’ve had dentists shout at me when I was little, in front my my Mum who would come in with me because they said I was being ‘naughty’ and ‘playing them up’ by not being able to keep my mouth open for long to the point where one dentist literally checks I had teeth for a check up and said ‘she’s fine’.

Ive recently learnt and read about this sedation method and found a surgery near to me and contacted them as I’m now worried I’ve done damage to my gums, I’m scared I’ve really done some damage as one side has been feeling a bit funny since Christmas and I know it’s swollen but now I’m too scared to go and make the appointment and even more scared to have this sedation method, scared I won’t wake up or die undear it,it’s all I keep thinking about every day for the last 3 months, I know I need to go to the dentist for my health but I am sooo terrified, I can’t describe how scared I feel - how am I ever going to be able to deal with this and make the appointment and then go and manage to get through an appointment? Thanks for listening to me ramble on!

Dear Terrified101,

I'm very sorry to hear about your childhood experience and your current situation. It's understandable that you are scared and cannot imagine making an appointment or going through a procedure, it must seem like a huge mountain to conquer.

Beating your dental fear is a process and the most important thing is to take things really slowly and at your own pace. You seem to be very clear about your past negative experiences and also about the things you find particularly difficult when it comes to a dental visit. These are good first steps. Sharing your story here is great too and you can find a lot of support here.

You seem to be convinced that sedation is the right thing for you and already have a clinic you would like to visit, but at the same time you seem to be scared of it. I don't know where you are based and what your options are, but may I suggest that you revise your opinion in this and maybe try to find a good practice experienced in treating nervous patients first? You can get sedated to go through a treatment, but how about all the check-ups and dental care after that particular treatment? Wouldn't it be much nicer to have a dentist who really cares, treats you kindly and with respect, listens to you, takes your fears seriously and just makes sure to go at your own pace?

Thank you very much for your kind words and advice. I guess the reason I’m thinking sedation treatment might be best is that I think I will panic too much if im too aware of what is going on around me but I completely get what you’re saying, would be lovely to find a dentist that could do what is needed without sedation, at a pace etc. That suited me. I love the quote also, exactly how I’ve got to where I am now as I know I need to go, fight my fear etc. Thank you, very much appreciated

I’m was in the same place as you, I neglected my teeth and never seen the dentist in years(but I was younger)! My grandparents/parents did not have insurance. Around 16 I finally got enough courage (I was so sacred that I was going to be yelled at by the doctor) to go see a dentist. Everything turned out alright ? my dentist was super nice and although there’s was problems with my gums, she still was patience and help get get my teeth back to normal. Although I went back more often than twice a year lol.
Just find a dentist your comfortable with try looking up reviews on google before going in and explain your fear to them.
Best of luck ~

The second part were you talking about being a sedation patient? I’m terrified of going under too but my 5 year bother is a sedation patient because he extreamy shy and sacred of strangers. I’m going under to get all 4 of my wisdom teeth out and I’m pretty terrified too lol ?

Glad to hear you have found someone you are comfortable seeing and are having more positive experiences at the dentist. You’re definitely right, I’m looking into different practices to find the right one, I’ve taken step one which is to make an appointment to have a chat with a local dentist and explain my fears so hopefully it will help me build up my confidence going back to a dentist. Thank you for your post and comments, it’s all really helpful to me

Terrified101 said:

I’ve taken step one which is to make an appointment to have a chat with a local dentist and explain my fears so hopefully it will help me build up my confidence going back to a dentist.

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What a great news! So happy to hear that you started to look around and even have made an appointment!
There are many really lovely dentists out there and you would be surprised how much can be done to make you feel comfortable. You mentioned instruments and covered faces and having to lie back - these were my fears too so my dentist would during initial visits make sure that I don't spot any instruments, would tip me just as much back as necessary, would avoid bending over too much and wouldn't wear a mask. After three visits I was fine with spotting an instrument now and then, after the sixth one I could get tipped back without a problem and on the next visit (the ninth one) I will suggest for him to work with a mask. Everything is possible with the right dentist - as soon as you feel safe, respected and taken care for, your anxiety will get less and less.