Is it finally time? 30 years old, all jacked up

I’m surprised I’m even taking the first step in writing this post. Hopefully it’ll feel better to vent this out and maybe get some opinions. I’m 30 years old, regular soda drinker, hereditary bad teeth. Parents and grandparents all have had major problems. I feel like I’ve been cursed from start, although my procrastination has certainly made all of this worse. I haven’t been to a dentist in 25 years. It was such a miserable experience when I did go, and my parents had no money for braces or anything else that would help me feel better about myself so that’s pretty much that. I was told I had the million dollar mouth. I don’t think that’s a complement but I’d like to get it sorted out now. I’m so jealous of everyone around me and I’m ashamed to be in the bottom 20% of teeth appearance.

But my issues are so numerous and it feels like there’s too much to even know where to begin.

First, I have a massive overbite that I’m okay with, doesn’t bother me, but I worry that they are gonna want to break my jaw or do something crazy.

Next, I have very crowded teeth and my bottom row looks all jacked up, different heights and angles of teeth.

What’s worse, I still have 8 baby teeth, all molars. They are all in OK shape except one that recently cracked. I don’t know what they will do about this. I have no room for adult teeth if it was even an option, but I know these will not last much longer and I feel like a freak for even having them.

I have several cavities that are on the fronts of teeth on the gum line and look horrible. The gums are swollen around them and it’s difficult to brush.

I have one badly chipped front tooth that keeps wearing away. It’s a normal shape but about half the size at this point. It happened in an accident when one of my bottom teeth smacked it. Did I mention my overbite?

Lastly my wisdom teeth are all jacked up too. One of them got badly infected about 10 years ago. I got antibiotics and it eventually stopped hurting, broke apart, and now I have a hole that food gets stuck in. I have no idea what they can even do about this. Seal the hole?

I feel like I’ve waited too long on all of this stuff, and that there may not be anything they can do besides pull everything. I absolutely refuse to have dentures, it‘s just a mental line I cannot cross even though I’d be happier and look better. Still I really want them to fix what I have even if I have to spend a fortune to do so. I have found a dentist online that seems to be suited to my case, I’ve filled out the forms but haven’t gotten the guts to call for an appt. I was up half the night last night worrying, I promised myself I’d call today and I didn’t. So easy to push it off another day, but I’m so ashamed. I know my fear is ridiculous. I even know that I’ll probably be okay once I get there. It’s bringing myself to get there that’s so hard. Looking at these forums there’s others like me at least!

I also am a heavy soda drinker and I have dental issues. I have my wisdom teeth as well and am really scared to get them pulled. This Friday I am getting 4 teeth pulled. I'm pretty nervous but it needs to be done. I also think that I'll be ok once I'm at the clinic for my extractions. I used to be horribly scared of needles but now they don't bother me. I have had a lot of blood drawn & tattoos so needles are a think of the past. As for dentures, I never thought I'd need them at 35 bit here I am. With the calling for an appointment, someone on here had a good approach of doing baby steps. I don't remember who told me but things like on the first day, dial the first 2 number of the office, the second day do the first 4 numbers, third day, 6 number, etc. Or call the clinic when they are closed to prepare yourself for the actual call. I find that everyone here is really understanding and helpful. You can do it...

Thanks for the support. It seems like 90% of the battle is just getting yourself into the chair. You should be proud of taking that leap.

Another piece of tooth came off while I was eating and that’s it. I have had enough of this. For the past five + years I’ve been waiting until something “bad enough” happens to force my hand into the dentist chair. Over the past couple months my teeth have really been signaling me that it’s time, so I’m finally listening.

***I made an appointment for 10am on Monday the 26th.***

I already feel a tremendous amount of relief knowing that I’m moving in the right direction after sliding downhill for basically my entire life. I know there’s a long road ahead but if I can make it through the embarrassment of the first visit, I should be okay. I’m of course scared but also very excited. I can’t believe I actually made an appointment. Most normal people will never understand how hard that was.

Congrats on making an appointment!

I was in shock when I made my first appointment at a dentist in 15 years. I was shocked that I had done it.

Keep us updated on how it goes

OTR said:

Thanks for the support. It seems like 90% of the battle is just getting yourself into the chair. You should be proud of taking that leap.

Another piece of tooth came off while I was eating and that’s it. I have had enough of this. For the past five + years I’ve been waiting until something “bad enough” happens to force my hand into the dentist chair. Over the past couple months my teeth have really been signaling me that it’s time, so I’m finally listening.

***I made an appointment for 10am on Monday the 26th.***

I already feel a tremendous amount of relief knowing that I’m moving in the right direction after sliding downhill for basically my entire life. I know there’s a long road ahead but if I can make it through the embarrassment of the first visit, I should be okay. I’m of course scared but also very excited. I can’t believe I actually made an appointment. Most normal people will never understand how hard that was.

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I understand the scared & excited feeling. I'm super stoked that I'm getting the extractions done but at the same time I'm extremely scared. So many questions I'm curious about. Congrats on making the appointment though! I seem to be more calm and 'comfortable' after the shots. I've read a lot that people say the needle is the worst part. And I stay away from horror dental stories. I'll save those for after it's done.

Hi OTR,

welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story. As you point out, 'normal' people don't understand how unbearable dental fear can be and that's one of the reasons why this forum is such a blessing. Venting and writing is for many the first step in dealing with the topic and the beginning of self-honesty and courage. Happy to hear that you have managed to make that appointment by now

Did you call them or made an appointment online? And how do you feel about the practice?

There have been huge changes regarding dentistry in the last years and you will probably be surprised that your upcoming visit won't have much in common with your last visit as you was 5 years old.

It was such a miserable experience when I did go, and my parents had no money for braces or anything else that would help me feel better about myself so that’s pretty much that.

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Sorry to heat about your experience. We are so vulnerable as children and so prone to believe mean things about ourselves just because someone said something unkind and its very hard to let go of this self-image, even later in adulthood. Financial struggles in the family make all of this just worse. It's great that you decided to deal with your problems now and I am sure that beating your dental fear will help you, not only with your appearance but with the way how you perceive yourself and how you deal with challenges.

I worry that they are gonna want to break my jaw or do something crazy.

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I don’t know what they will do about this.

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One of the things that had changed massively about dentistry is this: you are a client. A customer. And the dentist acts on your behalf and needs your consent to do anything, even look into your mouth. You might or might not allow the dentist to do what he/she would like to do and if you allowed it, you can take it back and stop the procedure or exam at any point. I am mentioning this because you, as a child, hardly had this possibility. It's good to remind yourself that you are the boss now. Your dentist might do suggestions but you are the one who decides about what will happen and what not.

Your fear is not ridiculous, no fear is. I however understand that you feel this way.
The last thing I would like to show you is a very lovely post from one of the dentists from this forum. It's from the FAQ here on the page (which seems to have got updated recently) and I just love it. For me it totally changed the way to look at the 'what-will-they-think-about-my-teeth'-problem. Enjoy:


All the best wishes and good luck on 26th, will keep my fingers crossed for you. Don't forget to keep us posted

I am 30 years old too and have my first "real" appointment set for tomorrow. I'm a nervous wreck as well, but it helps to know that I'm not the only one going through this. Congratulations on getting that appointment made. That is truly a difficult step to make. We can do it!

Enarete said:

Hi OTR,

welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story. As you point out, 'normal' people don't understand how unbearable dental fear can be and that's one of the reasons why this forum is such a blessing. Venting and writing is for many the first step in dealing with the topic and the beginning of self-honesty and courage. Happy to hear that you have managed to make that appointment by now

Did you call them or made an appointment online? And how do you feel about the practice?

There have been huge changes regarding dentistry in the last years and you will probably be surprised that your upcoming visit won't have much in common with your last visit as you was 5 years old

Click to expand...

Thanks for the support and understanding. I did a lot of googling for dentists over the past few months. I’d look one night, put the thought away for awhile, look again a week later, etc. I found that this seemed to warm me up to the idea. In the years leading up to this, I did zero research on dentists, treatment options, nothing. I couldn’t even think about going, even though I was thinking about my teeth constantly.

I landed on a dentist here in town that has excellent reviews from other people who seem to have similar anxiety. He seems to do a lot of general “repair”, as well as good cosmetic work which I would love to have done in addition to fixing the functional problems I have. He also seems like someone I could get along with personally as he has similar hobbies to mine.

They didn’t have an online form so I went ahead and called after a few practice runs. The receptionist was really friendly, even when I told her how long it’s been. Mentally I was prepping for her to tell me to go pound sand but of course that was just a creation in my mind. She said they will likely do X-rays and then an exam. I’m happy to skip the cleaning as I would rather not have extra people working in my mouth!

Im a bit nervous about the X-rays because one thing I remember was doing those and biting into this nasty pink foam stuff that almost made me puke as a kid. Hopefully they don’t still use that stuff but I guess I’m prepared if they do.

With the appt. 3 days away, it’s starting to sink in a little more but overall I’m still excited more than anything to get my life back. I noticed my teeth holding me back more and more and like I said, I’ve reached the breaking point.

Animalhouse said:

I am 30 years old too and have my first "real" appointment set for tomorrow. I'm a nervous wreck as well, but it helps to know that I'm not the only one going through this. Congratulations on getting that appointment made. That is truly a difficult step to make. We can do it!

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Hope it all went well!

Wow, your structured and high developed approach is impressive your dentist seem to be a good potential match, look forward to hear how it will go.

Pink foam stuff to do x-rays.. chances are that this changed in the course of the last 25 years so your worries might be unnecessary. I cannot remember having to bite into a foam thing ever. It would be a good idea to tell your dental team about this so they make sure you feel comfortable (or to pict a color that's neutral and doesn't trigger your childhood memories )

All the best for your appointment and keep us posted, I cannot wait for the success story.

I feel like a complete knob for being so scared and staying away for so long. This appointment went so unbelievably well. First, I definitely picked the right guy, he was so sweet and caring. The X-Rays were difficult to sit through, I certainly did some gagging and maybe the assistant was having a bit of trouble with me but she remained kind throughout.

The doctor actually gave me a lot of good news. My bones and roots look to be in good shape and strong. My gums are mostly healthy but I need a cleaning in some spots to bring them back 100%. But they were 3-4mm in most places which was better than I thought. I have 4 cavities and I’ll need a crown on the broken molar. My overbite is a level 2, but stable. I guess that means I can leave it how it is which is great news. And the baby teeth I thought I still had? They aren’t baby teeth. I’m just an idiot who didn’t remember loosing them I guess. No talk about wisdom teeth on this visit but I know that at least one is going to have to go (impacted and broken).

Anyways, next week I’ll have a cleaning, and that molar crowned, and a cavity filled next to it.

What I’m most excited about is that from there we are going to look at doing onlays or crowns in the front. With that my smile will be straighten out quite a bit. After 25 years of being teased and not smiling much, that’s going to be a life changer.

its funny how my fear basically created an illusion that everything in my mouth was broken. The lesson of the day is that it’s often not as bad as you think! I feel bad because I know there’s a lot of people here who have a lot worse of a situation, extractions, etc, I’m not bragging at all and I feel for everyone on this forum. I‘m just elated to replace a bad memory of a dentist with a good one! I hope my story helps someone else make that call. You might be surprised. Having the right dentist is critical. After only one visit I trust mine implicitly.