Scared of what my boyfriend will think

Scaredykat123 · Mar 22, 2018

I haven’t been to the dentist in over a year and I have had a sore tooth. I usually go regularly, but when I got pregnant I have had extreme nausea and sickness and throw up daily. I know that when you’re pregnant your teeth get weaker and that freaks me out, because I already have weak teeth. I’m in my early twenties but every time I seem to go to the dentist it seems like I always have a cavity. I have a lot of fillings already and it’s really obvious because they are all silver and sits on pretty much every molar. My boyfriend has noticed me in pain with my tooth and has been urging me to go to the dentist but since I have been so sick we decided to wait until after pregnancy. Now I am due any day now and my boyfriend has already started talking about making an appointment ?. We have talked about my fears of the dentist and he knows I’m very scared so he offered to come with me and go for his appointment as well. I know he just wants to make me feel comfortable but that makes me nervous also because I don’t want him to know how
Bad my teeth are! He has Perfect teeth and not a single bit of silver in his mouth (I think because he only has had a few fillings but they were tooth colored). The last time I went with him to his dentist appointment he was with his brother and sister and he laughed at them for only having one cavity! I’m scared what he’ll say to me because I know I’ll have more since I haven’t gone in awhile, have weak teeth already, and was pregnant! I really don’t think I’ll go or be able to get through it without him but how can I without him seeing my teeth! I don’t want him to be grossed out or unattracted to me because I already am really self conscious about them and HAAATE my teeth so much. I don’t know why my parents never chose the option to put tooth colored fillings in my mouth because I have so many! Also, whenever we try and talk about it I get really emotional and freaked out, even just saying the word dentist I can’t spit it out! Please help!

biffo1963 · Mar 22, 2018

Scaredykat123 said:
I haven’t been to the dentist in over a year and I have had a sore tooth. I usually go regularly, but when I got pregnant I have had extreme nausea and sickness and throw up daily. I know that when you’re pregnant your teeth get weaker and that freaks me out, because I already have weak teeth. I’m in my early twenties but every time I seem to go to the dentist it seems like I always have a cavity. I have a lot of fillings already and it’s really obvious because they are all silver and sits on pretty much every molar. My boyfriend has noticed me in pain with my tooth and has been urging me to go to the dentist but since I have been so sick we decided to wait until after pregnancy. Now I am due any day now and my boyfriend has already started talking about making an appointment ?. We have talked about my fears of the dentist and he knows I’m very scared so he offered to come with me and go for his appointment as well. I know he just wants to make me feel comfortable but that makes me nervous also because I don’t want him to know how
Bad my teeth are! He has Perfect teeth and not a single bit of silver in his mouth (I think because he only has had a few fillings but they were tooth colored). The last time I went with him to his dentist appointment he was with his brother and sister and he laughed at them for only having one cavity! I’m scared what he’ll say to me because I know I’ll have more since I haven’t gone in awhile, have weak teeth already, and was pregnant! I really don’t think I’ll go or be able to get through it without him but how can I without him seeing my teeth! I don’t want him to be grossed out or unattracted to me because I already am really self conscious about them and HAAATE my teeth so much. I don’t know why my parents never chose the option to put tooth colored fillings in my mouth because I have so many! Also, whenever we try and talk about it I get really emotional and freaked out, even just saying the word dentist I can’t spit it out! Please help!

Your boyfriend is obviously doing everything he can to support you, without going so far as to give in completely to your fears and just shrug and say "whatever." This is great, I only wish I had had that kind of support when I was younger - I'd have a few more teeth than I do now !

Are you absolutely certain he has never seen your teeth ?? Perhaps he just doesn't feel it right to bring it up, or doesn't feel there's anything bad or odd about having lots of amalgam. It's hardly unusual. Think about it - if you are close enough to someone to have a child with that person, what really are the chances they have never seen (or never noticed) your teeth ?

Animalhouse · Mar 22, 2018

I understand your concern. I don't even want my husband who I've been with for 10 years to see my teeth. I'm sure he has noticed them already, but I'm always trying to hide them, and I don't want him to know the extent of the damage...especially the back teeth that no one really sees. He's taking me to my first appointment today actually, but I asked that he wait for me in the waiting room. This way I have him there for support if I need him, plus a ride back and forth in case I break down. I'm still debating whether or not I want him in the room with me, but I think I'm leaning more towards just having a private visit with the dentist and discuss the treatment plan with my husband afterwards. Good luck to you and keep us posted

Scaredykat123 · Mar 22, 2018

Well I know he has seen them because when we talked about the dentist before and me be My afraid he asked to see my tooth that was sore and practically forced me to show him even though I didn’t give him much time to take a good look. I hate the way it all looks and so I’m sure he finds it gross too. He knows I’m really insecure about it because when his family had game night I wouldn’t play speak out with them and I had like a little shut down and left with a stupid excuse. He tells me he knows whAt my teeth look like and he says he “likes” them and thinks I’m beautiful which is really nice of him because no one has ever been so supportive to me. I’m just scared it’s a different story if he comes to the dentist with me and sees my teeth under a better light and can look at them for a longer time. I don’t even yawn with my mouth open without covering up infront of him. One
Of the reasons I’m petrified of the dentist is my actual dentist because he makes me feel so bad every time I go, and my boyfriend knows so I think that’s why he’s telling me he will come in. I would love him to, but I don’t want him to hear I have a bunch of cavities and problems when his teeth are so perfect! I hate looking in his mouth and seeing everything so perfect and white

Scaredykat123 · Mar 22, 2018

Animalhouse said:
I understand your concern. I don't even want my husband who I've been with for 10 years to see my teeth. I'm sure he has noticed them already, but I'm always trying to hide them, and I don't want him to know the extent of the damage...especially the back teeth that no one really sees. He's taking me to my first appointment today actually, but I asked that he wait for me in the waiting room. This way I have him there for support if I need him, plus a ride back and forth in case I break down. I'm still debating whether or not I want him in the room with me, but I think I'm leaning more towards just having a private visit with the dentist and discuss the treatment plan with my husband afterwards. Good luck to you and keep us posted

I hope your appointment today went well! Thinking of you! Please share how it went and if your husband there provided extra support! Lots of love

Animalhouse · Mar 23, 2018

Scaredykat123 said:
I hope your appointment today went well! Thinking of you! Please share how it went and if your husband there provided extra support! Lots of love

I survived! I was so incredibly nervous and my pulse and blood pressure were through the roof. My husband waited for me in the lobby, a text message away if I needed him but I didn't. The staff was very nice and gentle with me when I expressed my concerns. I was really expecting the worst case scenario, but it turns out that my problems are fixable. I was really expecting to need teeth pulled, but I mostly need a deep clean, cavities filled, and later wisdom teeth removed.

I can't express enough how much of a difference it makes to find a compassionate dentist and hygienist. My experience was so much better this time than my last, single visit 10 years ago with a wench of a dentist. The one I went to today was highly rated, and my husband visited him for a cleaning and check up before I went. There was no scolding at all. In fact, they only congratulated me for making it in and offered suggestions for electric toothbrush and water flosser. I'm feeling so much better even though I haven't had any work done yet. I hope you find a nice dentist!

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Scared of what my boyfriend will think

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biffo1963

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