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10 days until first dentist appt. in 10 years - need a hug

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Nameless

Member
Joined
Nov 3, 2012
Messages
68
Location
England
Hey everyone,

I know I posted about this a few days ago but, as you've probably noticed in the title, I really really need a hug right now. My first dentist appt. in 10 years is coming up a week on Tuesday and I cannot feel even slightly calm about it and have been filled with anxiety and fear since I scheduled it (Monday night). It has been playing on my mind constantly since then and I have been losing sleep and focus over it :( I keep wondering what the dentist (Balinder) is going to find, whether I could take the full exam and x-rays and hear the results without freaking out, how I'm going to keep myself composed in the waiting room and in the dentist office and also how I am going to have treatment done (They are an NHS clinic with sedation but the sedation doesn't "start again" until April - how on EARTH I am going to have any drilling/pulling done without this stuff is going to be beyond me :cry::cry::cry:)

When I phoned and explained etc. I asked the receptionist if I could bring my "List of Fears/Concerns" (which i took to my counselling sessions) with me and just purely chat about that for one appt. and then perhaps do an exam on another date: the reply to that was a "No, we can't do that. Its not allowed in the regulations": (With it being an NHS practice I can sort of understand with the tight time constraints they work under but I was really disappointed) she then said that the dentist was going to do an exam and x-rays on my first appt. there and I mumbled my (disappointed) "Okay then", though my gut wrenched at this. Full exam and X-rays on the FIRST appt. in TEN YEARS with NO real chance to tell the dentist properly about my fears??? When I was little, I only ever had several *very* quick looks outside of the chair as I was too intimidated when I was little and can only remember her putting a mirror in my mouth ONCE and having a quick X-ray done when I was about 7 for some fashionably-late adult teeth. I mean, I'm sure I could give it all a shot and really genuinely hope I give it a good ol' try in the chair and everything as I think I could do that, but I do feel like I've had a bit too much put on me - oh gosh....

The plan is this: my mum is picking me up from college at 11:30 and is going to drive me there (the bus timetable makes it a bit awkward to get there on time) and drop me off. At my request, my mum will not go into the building with me and will go home again unless there is a consent form of some sort to sign as I am not quite 18 yet. I am hoping and praying that I at least remain composed in the waiting room - the receptionist knows I am a phobic and I'm sure the dentist has been told this by now; my worst nightmare at the moment is actually proving (if you know what I mean) that I am phobic in front of a packed waiting room, even worse if somebody I know is present at the same time. I don't suppose it would be so bad freaking out inside the office as at least that is kind of private and the dentist (hopefully) has a clue about what I am like. I know the receptionist said I couldn't have a whole appt. time to just talk but I'm going to bring my list in anyway and hopefully the dentist will read it for 5 minutes before anything is done.

So yeah, my stomach is in knots, I feel a bit sick, my mind is spinning and I feel like I'm about to cry. I am determined to sit in the chair and have this exam done regardless of what state I am in as I believe I cannot bear to freak out so much I get sent home and it gets pushed back as that is more worry. I am so freaked but I really want to do this - I've got this far!

All best wishes and prayers appreciated - please please give me a big hug somebody :cry:
 
L

lizzieboo

Member
Joined
Oct 15, 2013
Messages
67
I will give you a hug with pleasure........and hold your hand........and anything else you need, because I can relate to everything you say, and believe me what you are going through now is the worst part. I am a lot lot older than you, but until 3 months ago I had not been to the dentist for 30 years!!! I could not "think" the word dentist.....or "say" the word either, and please believe me when I say that when I plucked up the courage to email/phone and eventually make the appointment I really thought I was going to die of fright!! BUT I DID go and it was nowhere near as bad as the waiting!! Your mind can play terrible tricks on you, and the one piece of advice I was given is to ignore all the voices inside telling you that you Can't do it.........because you can!! The "can't" voices have a nasty habit of shouting louder than the "I can" voices.......but please ignore them. YOU CAN DO IT. And you will feel SO proud of yourself when you have!!xxx
 
S

spanna

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 28, 2013
Messages
188
Location
UK
Hi nameless,

I just wanted to add my support and second what lizzieboo has said. You have done so well so far and this waiting bit really is the worst bit. You can do this! You will be fine and you will feel so proud of yourself when you come out of there. We are all here for you, proud of you and looking forward to reading of your success.

Heres some hugs for you ... :XXLhug: :there-there: :friends: :hug4: :hug5: :hug2: :bear: :grouphug:
 
I

irmemac

Well-known member
Joined
May 10, 2013
Messages
237
Location
Scotland
Ditto to what the others have said. Here's a hug from me too :XXLhug:
 
brit

brit

Super Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Mar 23, 2006
Messages
6,963
Location
In My Dental Happy Place
When I phoned and explained etc. I asked the receptionist if I could bring my "List of Fears/Concerns" (which i took to my counselling sessions) with me and just purely chat about that for one appt. and then perhaps do an exam on another date: the reply to that was a "No, we can't do that. Its not allowed in the regulations":
The receptionist is a jobsworth and a biatch....it is up to you and your dentist what happens in that session..sod all to do with her and you do not have to do anything you do not want to. You may hate the person and not want to let them look or you may think thy seem kind and pleasant and be happy to do quick look and maybe an x-ray...fact is it is up to you...they can do nothing without your consent.

The new GDC guidelines for dentists spell out that patients' anxiety must be taken seriously by dental practitioners...
http://www.gdc-uk.org/Newsandpublic...ublications/Standards for the Dental Team.pdf


Principle One page 10: Patients' Expectations 'That their dental pain and anxiety will be managed appropriately'
Standard 1.2
You must treat every patient with dignity and respect at all times
1.2.1 You should be aware of how your tone of voice and body
language might be perceived.
1.2.2 You should take patients’ preferences into account and
be sensitive to their individual needs and values.
1.2.3 You must treat patients with kindness and compassion.
1.2.4 You should manage patients’ dental pain and anxiety
appropriately

....if they are nasty to you (I expect they will be nice it is just the receptionists who are iffy), leave and then report them to the GDC....simple as.

From the guidelines:
You must:
1.1 Listen to your patients.
1.2 Treat every patient with dignity and respect at all times.
1.3 Be honest and act with integrity.
1.4 Take a holistic and preventative approach to patient
care which is appropriate to the individual patient.
1.5 Treat patients in a hygienic and safe environment.
1.6 Treat patients fairly, as individuals and without
discrimination.
1.7 Put patients’ interests before your own or those
of any colleague, business or organisation.
1.8 Have appropriate arrangements in place for patients
to seek compensation if they suffer harm.
1.9 Find out about laws and regulations that affect
your work and follow them.
I think this means he should be willing to chat about your fears with you, don't you?


You are suffering from a lack of control right now: http://www.dentalfearcentral.org/fears/loss-of-control/
meeting and liking your dentist might put your fears to rest or you might still want sedation as you said. You can discuss this later..one step at a time.
 
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N

Nameless

Member
Joined
Nov 3, 2012
Messages
68
Location
England
Thanks everyone, really appreciate the hugs and will be thinking of them when I go to dentist a week tomorrow :( I was a highly anxious today about it for some reason and I cannot stop looking at the calendar on my phone with my appt. on it and counting down the days. I nearly cried with fear today just before the start of college but I managed to hold myself together thankfully :redface:

Brit - Thanks for posting this, I read the entire Informed Consent thing last night (okay, skim-read it) but it did make me feel a bit better about the whole thing after this, thanks :) I suppose I am suffering from a lack of control; I mean, the receptionist didn't say what she said in a nasty or bossy way, she just sounded a bit blunt and with it being time-strapped NHS dentists who need to see as many people as possible I suppose she does have a point. But anyway, I'm taking that list in regardless of what she thinks and I've decided that the dentist WILL read it beforehand, regardless of what state I am in (probably not the most composed above all), and if she doesn't read it I am walking out.

As much as I am still fearful over this appt. I just want to get it over and done with as I haven't been able to stop thinking about it the past week and have been filled with fear/anxiety. Hope everyone is well x
 
N

Nameless

Member
Joined
Nov 3, 2012
Messages
68
Location
England
Okay, am going to write about tomorrow on my main journal (Here it goes). Thanks to everyone supporting me, you've all been wonderful:XXLhug:
 
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