• Welcome! This is a forum for anyone who is affected by a fear of the dentist, dental phobia, or specific dental fears.

    We are lucky to count a number of dentists among our members and moderators. Look out for the "Verified dentist" badges. If you are a dental professional who likes to help, please join our community!

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

15 years since last dentist visit and i'm completely terrified.

E

evsgal82

Member
Joined
Sep 17, 2012
Messages
32
Location
swansea, wales
Hi, my names Laura. I am 30 years old, I haven't been to a dentist in 15 years. I'm on the verge of pushing myself to our local dentist as I have just registered my son age 2 and my husband (also not been for 10 years) finally made his move and said they were lovely there and very understanding. I have to admit that I have been awful with my teeth, I maybe only brushed them a few mornings a week for years. My gums bleed and i find the more i brush the worse they look as they are starting to look rotten around the bases with thin dark marks. I have lost a few teeth too over the years and i have a couple that have broken half way down at the back of my mouth. i'm at the point where i'm scared to bite anything slightly hard. It really upsets me, i'm very aware when talking to people and try to hide my teeth if i smile. My childhood dentist was nasty to me and gave me a real hard time which ended in me never going back. When i lived at home I managed to get the letters first and hid them. As i grew older it was just more a fear of the fact that i hadnt been for so long. Of course this has only made things worse over the years and now i'm truly terrified. I'm still pretty useless at brushing regularly to my absolute shame, i think they look worse when you can see all the black 'rims' around my teeth. I want to turn things around and be able to smile freely without worrying what judgement will be passed by people i talk to.

I just wanted to talk to someone who had been through it all and I hope someone will reply. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
:redface:
 
shamrockerin

shamrockerin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2012
Messages
745
Location
New Hampshire, USA
I just wanted to talk to someone who had been through it all and I hope someone will reply. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
:redface:
Hello Laura,

I am sure you'll get more replies; we're all very supportive here.

I just wanted to let you know that i was in a very similar situation as you. I am also 30 years old, and I hadn't been to a dentist in 12-13 years. I may not know exactly how you feel, but if it's anything like I felt when I had to start going again, I can relate.

I had to visit a dentist again when a crown fell out, and the crown still contained the tooth inside! I also had bad experiences when I was younger, and I even swore to myself that I'd never go to a dentist again. I am glad you found this forum and posted here. It has already helped me ALOT, and I only joined a couple months ago.

You're welcome to send me a message if you ever want to talk.:)
 
V

victorine

Member
Joined
Sep 9, 2012
Messages
41
Location
Germany
Hi evsgal82,

and :welcome::welcome::welcome::welcome::welcome: here!
I'm glad you found DFC. They are very nice people here and yes, they all understand your fears and problems.
I'm 30 years, too ( born in '82 ) and have the same problem: I did hide my smile in the past seven years or so...

With the help of the members here + my lovely BF's support I could manage to visit a dentist last Friday. It was just a big relief: I had to get 4 fillings ( perhaps crowns, if the fillings wouldn't be enough ), one of them needs an RCT first, and a wisdom tooth extraction...Plus, I had another good news: one of my missing molar can be still replaced with an implant and a crown, so after it I would have just one single gap.

This will be a lot of appointments but I don't want to hide my smile anymore.
I can understand you, it's really bad when people are judging you because of your teeth - I know exactly how it is because I have the same problem...My cavities are visible ( upper front teeth :redface:), no one thought I had healthy canines, premolars and molars...but I DO have.
I also survived a cleaning on the very first appointment and it went well.

That's also good to have your son and your husband supporting you, if they are satisfied with the local dentist you could perhaps also have a closer look there :).
Of course that's the worst - asking for an appointment and waiting...But I'm sure you can do it!

Best wishes and good luck :clover::clover::clover:,

victorine
 
T

toucan

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 3, 2012
Messages
101
Location
UK
:welcome: to you Laura,

I have just finished having my teeth treated after 20 years of fear of going to the dentist. Making that first appointment will be the first step towards freedom for you. It is not easy making yourself go for the first time, but just get yourself through that door somehow and you will be so glad you did. I know the place you find yourself in at the moment all too well. You deserve to be able to smile again.

Your husband has kindly sussed out the surgery for you, and they sound nice. As you gradually get your teeth back into shape you will be pleased to look after them at home.

Good luck! Go for it girl.
 
P

Patti

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 28, 2006
Messages
749
Location
Michigan, USA
:welcome:Welcome Laura! I know exactly how you feel! My parents never took me to a dentist (not even for checkups). Luckily I had pretty healthy and straight teeth as a child. My very first visit to a dentist was 6 years ago for a broken tooth and a couple of fillings. I was 43 at the time! I should have had the full exam then and didn't and it wasn't until March of this year that I made an appointment for a couple of teeth that I thought needed fillings and found out one needed a root canal. I waited too long. I decided to have the tooth pulled instead of the RC & crown (because it was a tooth you cannot see anyway) and had my very first appt with an oral surgeon for that. I WAS PETRIFIED! Turned out not to be that big of a deal, though. Then I went for the full exam and I was so so nervous about that--thinking the worst. It really wasn't that bad considering all the years I never went. I needed 12 fillings, 2 upper wisdom teeth pulled (what there was left of them--which wasn't much) and a good cleaning. I started all of that in June and was all done end of August and I am now caught up and very relieved. Try not to stress so much. My exact words were, "How can I let it go this long and only wind up needing a handful of fillings?" :shame: and basically, that's all it was! (I already knew the wisdom teeth had to go.) This is the best place you could come to for advice & support. The people here really helped and encouraged me... and listened! Good luck on your journey. Remember, it may not be as bad as you think it is. The mountain I thought I was going to have to climb turned out to be just a hill. ;)
 
E

evsgal82

Member
Joined
Sep 17, 2012
Messages
32
Location
swansea, wales
OMG thank you all so much for replying and for all your support!! I am so glad i found this forum and all you wonderful people in it!! :)

I am going to make the first jump into (hopefully) a much happier and smilier future!! fingers crossed!! :redface:
 
E

evsgal82

Member
Joined
Sep 17, 2012
Messages
32
Location
swansea, wales
Patti i hope i'm as lucky as that too! :)

I am praying that I haven't totally ruined all of them. For years i've thought whats the point as they'll just tell me they all have to go and i couldn't face that :cry:

still terrified but listening to everyone on here and knowing that i can talk openly to people here i feel like i finally have a bit of support :jump:from people who totally understand me and what its like.

Thank you all so much once again :) xxxxx
 
Last edited:
Kim

Kim

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 4, 2012
Messages
1,882
Location
Hertfordshire
Hello hunni

You already made that first 'jump into (hopefully) a much happier and smilier future' from what I can see, on the 17th of September 2012 at 14.15 to be precise ;) That's the date and time of your very first post, and I think for a lot of people, once they have that one under their belts, and see the responses and reactions of people, it is already the beginning of a journey where there are so many non-judgmental folks it is unreal :)

Your next 'jump' for you will be when you manage to get to your appointment. It will of course hold it's challenges, fears and tears, but the sense of relief you will feel when you walk out of that door, that you actually managed to go through it.

And if your dentist is good, and the majority are, they will see that you are treated with 'kid gloves' and will let you take everything at your own pace. You don't need to have any treatment on your first visit, this will purely be for the dentist to have a look - don't even need the 'picky' thing if you don't want it - I know I didn't - and then, providing you are happy and feel comfortable with the dentist and surgery, you will then be in a position to make plans as to what treatment needs doing, and the how's, when's and why for's.

Well done sweetie, you will get there, and if you have the support of your hubby and the fallback of this site, you are well on the way to being able to 'smile freely'.

By the way, I have a daughter born in 1982 also ;)
 
Steve In Cleveland

Steve In Cleveland

Well-known member
Forum Buddy
Joined
Apr 10, 2012
Messages
565
Location
Cleveland, OH (USA)
Hi, my names Laura. I am 30 years old, I haven't been to a dentist in 15 years. I'm on the verge of pushing myself to our local dentist as I have just registered my son age 2 and my husband (also not been for 10 years) finally made his move and said they were lovely there and very understanding. I have to admit that I have been awful with my teeth, I maybe only brushed them a few mornings a week for years. My gums bleed and i find the more i brush the worse they look as they are starting to look rotten around the bases with thin dark marks. I have lost a few teeth too over the years and i have a couple that have broken half way down at the back of my mouth. i'm at the point where i'm scared to bite anything slightly hard. It really upsets me, i'm very aware when talking to people and try to hide my teeth if i smile. My childhood dentist was nasty to me and gave me a real hard time which ended in me never going back. When i lived at home I managed to get the letters first and hid them. As i grew older it was just more a fear of the fact that i hadnt been for so long. Of course this has only made things worse over the years and now i'm truly terrified. I'm still pretty useless at brushing regularly to my absolute shame, i think they look worse when you can see all the black 'rims' around my teeth. I want to turn things around and be able to smile freely without worrying what judgement will be passed by people i talk to.

I just wanted to talk to someone who had been through it all and I hope someone will reply. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
:redface:
Hi evsgal82! I, uh, graduated from fifth grade in 1982, can I be part of Club 82 too? ;)

I just want to add to the chorus and let you know that it's never too late, in life or in condition, to turn things around and start fixing your teeth. Like many others here, I had teeth that were discolored, broken, worn down to the gumline, and various other things. Since April I've been going to the dentist now about every other week to work through a long list of procedures, and I've never been happier. Nothing I've experienced at the dentist has been anything like the constant stress and worry of wondering which bite of food is going to break another tooth.

The first step is really the hardest, just working up the courage to make that appointment and show up the first day. As Kim mentioned, most dentists are compassionate and will start off VERY slowly, just a look around and some x-rays to see what's going on. Dentists these days are trained to treat patients with respect and compassion, and are focused on keeping you out of pain. So you shouldn't expect any lectures or rude remarks, and if you feel even the tiniest bit of pain, you can stop and the dentist will get you numb.

A good dentist can also work with you on starting to brush more often and you'll feel more confident brushing when you know that you're working with a dentist. When I first went back to the dentist, I was afraid to brush my teeth because my gums bled, and I didn't know if I'd cause more damage by brushing, like breaking other teeth, etc. My dentist assured me that I could brush without hurting anything, and that the bleeding would go away after a while, and now I'm brushing regularly for the first time in decades (I'm 41). So you're not the only one who doesn't brush enough, either.

Good luck taking that first step (actually, the first step was just talking to your husband and posting here, both of which take a lot of courage, so :welldone:). We're all hear for, and I can assure you that nothing feels better than coming home from that first appointment and knowing that you did it! You'll be there soon, I know you will.
 
P

Patti

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 28, 2006
Messages
749
Location
Michigan, USA
The only other things I can tell you is that I found a good dentist and each appointment got easier. The fear I had in the beginning--which was absolutely HORRIBLE and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it is all but gone now. It is almost hard for me to remember what I was even afraid of? You need to find a dentist you can trust 100% like I did, and once you do that, you will gain confidence. I trust in my dentist and I trust in numbing injections. Dentistry does NOT have to be painful at all. I know that sounds so cliche, but it really is true. Hand on my heart!

Keep coming here! It is the best place for advice and encouragement and even a shoulder when you need one. The people here are truly wonderful.

Now that everything is done, I have noticed that I hold my head higher and I smile much bigger these days. :cloud9:

Patti i hope i'm as lucky as that too! :)

I am praying that I haven't totally ruined all of them. For years i've thought whats the point as they'll just tell me they all have to go and i couldn't face that :cry:

still terrified but listening to everyone on here and knowing that i can talk openly to people here i feel like i finally have a bit of support :jump:from people who totally understand me and what its like.

Thank you all so much once again :) xxxxx
 
E

evsgal82

Member
Joined
Sep 17, 2012
Messages
32
Location
swansea, wales
Hi Kim!! Hi Steve in Cleveland!! :)

Thanks guys! its so amazing to have this kind of support! I still havent quite got to making an appointment, i dialed the number a few times but i feel like i would be better face to face now i think, i pass the dentist every other day taking my son to nursery and i nearly stopped there last week. Its very scary though. I do feel like i'm getting stronger by the day. Also, i am brusing everyday now and really trying harder. Hoping to make the next jump to phone or call in this week to make that first appointment o_O

Thankyou so much for the support and for sharing your stories & opinions with me :cool: xx

ps. hell yeah to all the 1982'ers & that includes u steve! hahaha :jump:
 
E

evsgal82

Member
Joined
Sep 17, 2012
Messages
32
Location
swansea, wales
Thank you Patti! :) its so nice to hear how you and others have come through the other side :jump: well done!! I will definately to popping back and forth to listen (or read) and share. I feel so lucky to have found this forum, i already feel like it has given me so much more confidence just reading other peoples stories and realsing that perhaps its not too late as i have though for all these years! that maybe if i kick my backside into gear and actually push myself to get that first apointment, that maybe, just maybe i can actually save my teeth and be able to hold my head high and smile freely too :D xx
 
P

Patti

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 28, 2006
Messages
749
Location
Michigan, USA
I definitely thought it was too late for me and I thought I would need a whole lot more work done than I actually needed. And for as hard as I thought it would be to get through all of it? Really, it wasn't. And after each appointment I felt so much better--about dentistry and myself. If I broke a tooth today, I wouldn't even be nervous about making the call and getting it fixed. Maybe I wasn't phobic in the first place but just scared? Who knows? I do know that I never had a problem with anything in particular like chair position, needles, sound of the drill, stuff being put in mouth, etc, so I'm guessing it all boiled down to a trust issue? I found someone I could trust and that solved all the problems.
 
E

evsgal82

Member
Joined
Sep 17, 2012
Messages
32
Location
swansea, wales
well the chair etc i think i'll be fine with, i am petrified of needles, however after having my son 2.5 years ago and having to go on a drip afterwards etc i figured that if i can do that then i can go to the dentist. Its taken a long time to even get this close to calling a dentist but having read lots of stories on here i finally feel like i'm not alone and that i can talk to someone!! :) that in itself is a massive help for me. I have never been able to talk to anyone due to the sheer embarrassment of it all and the disgusting state of my teeth. I feel like i finally have people who know exactly how it feels and who will listen with empathy and compassion instead of judgement. Thanks again Patti, you along with a few others here have really given me a boost in the direction i need to be heading! :) xx
 
F

fratermus

Junior member
Joined
Oct 1, 2012
Messages
14
Hey, Laura. Down here in Texas sending you supporttive electrons over the internet tubes. :)

I'm in the midst of getting ready for my first appt in ~20yrs. I have never liked to smile (even as a child) but am hoping to turn that around. I am fully on board with the feelings of terror. You are not alone.
 
E

evsgal82

Member
Joined
Sep 17, 2012
Messages
32
Location
swansea, wales
Hi Fratermus! Thank u for sending the positive vibes all that way!! :) congratulations on making your move!! sending you lots of good luck vibes right back!! :jump::clover::clover::clover::clover::clover::clover::clover::clover::clover::clover::clover:


Well, i just made my first and biggest move ever too! I registered with the local dentist! I'm shaking like a leaf and i put the phone down ages ago. I am kind of relieved as well as totally terrified!! They're gonna call me back when they can get me in as they have a waiting list but my husband was only on it for a week before they called with an appointment so i guess it'll be coming soon :o:o

well, here comes the next step!! i've never been so scared in my entire life! not even in childbirth!! o_O

Laura :)
 
Kim

Kim

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 4, 2012
Messages
1,882
Location
Hertfordshire
Hiya Laura

Wow, hark at you - I am whooping it up for you that you have gained the strength to register for your first appointment :cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer:

I did have a little chuckle to myself about you never being so scared in your life, not even in childbirth - the reason I chuckled is because with going to the dentist etc, we have a 'choice' in some respects, even when in pain, some of us still won't go, whereas when you are in labour, you have no choice, you are going to have to 'go through the motions' one way or another :giggle:
 
E

evsgal82

Member
Joined
Sep 17, 2012
Messages
32
Location
swansea, wales
Hiya Kim!

Thanks for the whoop whoops!! :giggle: lol

hahaha and you're right, with childbirth there is no way out and only one way its gonna happen!! lmao :ROFLMAO:

Thanks for the support, it really means a lot to me :) I hope this is the start of getting myself sorted. I keep reading everyones success stories and am praying that i can be one of them! I just hope i havent left it too late.

Laura :)
 
Aldridge

Aldridge

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 21, 2011
Messages
348
Location
Somerset UK
Hi Laura,
I was 30 when I finally registered with a dentist after well over 20 years' avoidance, following a very bad experience at a school dental clinic. My mum was supposed to take me back there...first time she tried, I hid her purse and we got thrown off the bus; second time, I locked myself in the toilet and threatened to jump out of the window (and I meant it); third time, she actually managed to get me almost there but I pulled away from her and ran straight across umpteen lanes of city traffic. She gave up after that. I finally decided, at 30 and with a young son, that I'd had enough of being too scared to even accompany my son -I used to let his dad take him:shame:-and booked an appointment with a dentist a friend had recommended. Honestly, I was sure I'd end up with loads of extractions, but he said the eight back molars needed filling and the rest just needed cleaning. I was embarrassed when he said eight fillings but he said, hey, that's only one every two and a half years, I don't call that bad. That guy was an angel. He didn't look like you'd expect an angel to look - built like a brick outhouse! What I'm trying to say is things might not be nearly as bad as you fear and it's never too late to make them better. I hope you find your dentist as nice as mine was.:welldone: to you; you are very brave.
 
Top