• Dental Phobia Support

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15 years without a dentist, Im so scared!

M

Momof4

Junior member
Joined
Sep 11, 2006
Messages
3
:scared:
Let me start by saying, I am ashamed my teeth have gotten to this state.
I am soo glad I found this forum! Im a 31 year old single mom of 4 boys under age 7. I cant afford to work (daycare costs too much) and I have no benefits or anything, so money is a MAJOR issue here. I havent been to a dentist in.....15 years at least. Last time I went was after I had my braces taken off, they pulled a filling out with them and I had to have it refilled. My father lost his job after that, and we didnt have insurance or anything to pay, so I couldnt go. I havent been able to afford to go since, and Ive been terrified to go on top of it. I still have wires (retainers) cemented to the backs of my teeth! I have TONS of cavities, but no pain (knock on wood). My teeth are brown in many spots, old fillings have fallen out etc. (I have been told it was likely from throwing up with morning sickness for all 4 pregnancies that ruined my teeth so much) I really want to go, because I want to be able to smile. Im so upsettingly embarrassed about what people think, and what the dentist would think, but mostly, Im terrified. I had alot of bad experiences as a child, mean dentists who hurt me and yelled at me when I cried, I hate the sights, the sounds, the smells, the pain etc. I cant even look at dentist offices without shaking. Its to the point I literally wont show my teeth when I smile. I brush them 2 times a day, but cant floss because of the retainer thingees. Im so ashamed at the state my mouth has gotten to, but Im afraid to go.
I had an unmedicated c-section (the anesthiast didnt put my epidural in right, and I had to have emergency c-section after he left the hospital for lunch, so I felt the entire thing until after they started closing me up, he came and put a mask on my face, I never fell fully asleep, but was so out of it), so I am terrified of needles, and sedation. Im afraid it wont work, and I wont be able to tell them Im in pain. I need help, so I can make the appointment and go, and be able to smile again. Im only 31, I want to be comfortable with my looks. If anyone has any words of wisdom, or suggestions, please, please, please, send them my way. Thank you all for being in this forum! I dont feel as alone! :redface:
Scared in Canada
 
Please don't be ashamed! I am not one to talk, I just started care after 7 years, but the fact you're even here shows you've taken the first step!

Have you considered Oral Sedation? I know you said you're frightened of sedation, but oral might be the ticket. No needles until you're loopy from a pill, and if it doesn't take, no worries. You can try again.

As I child, I had mean dentists, too. Impatient jerks who told me to "hang on, they were almost through...it doesn't hurt THAT bad..." Yes, it does, sometimes. But one good thing is, we're adults now! And any dentist, or anyone for that matter, has to earn your trust and business. Shop around! Find one who treats you right! They are out there, I promise. No one says you have to pick the first one in the Yellow Pages. And there are plenty who will work with you finacially, too.

One word of caution, though. I waited until I HAD to get over my fears. I was in PAIN. I was lucky enough to stumble on to a dentist who was very kind, patient, and gentle, and am waiting to see an oral surgeon. I would suggest you start treatment as soon as possible before things get way out of hand. And that will benefit you financially as well, since a filling is not nearly as expenisve as some of the more intesive work.

I am so proud of you! :jump: I know you can do it!
 
Thank you! Yes, I think I should go before Im in actual pain, that way Im more in control of the situation and can choose what I want when I want it, rather than the pain being the deciding factor in everything. Im shocked I dont have any pain yet, not that Im complaining, but it still surprises me. I have those gum pocket things too, all along my bottom front teeth, which I know is going to need work too. My older brother had the same thing even though hes never had a cavity in his life! I often wonder if it would be better to just have them all pulled and get false teeth lol! You dont have to worry about cavities! My mother had them since she was in her 20's, but I think meeting a new man might be kind of difficult with false teeth! :)
Anyway, Im going to look around in the phone book, I know theres one dentist who caters to grown ups with fears not to far from me. He looks like a nice guy in his ad. Besides, a year from now, hopefully after its all fixed, Ill be looking back thinking, boy I like my smile better now! :) Thank you again! :hug2:
 
Hi, :welcome:

You have made the first step by posting on here and talking to us. I understand what you are going through.

Maybe you could write to your dentist before your first appointment and explain your fears, phobias and previous bad experiences and how this has led to you not visiting the dentist for 15 years. They will understand and shouldn't judge you on the state of your mouth.

:hug2:

Also if they know about your fears etc they will be prepared for you. They will take things at your own pace and explain procedures in detail and show you instruments before they use them.

You said your scared of being in pain and not being able to let the dentist know. I have arranged a stop signal with my dentist. If i want him to stop for whatever reason, i just raise my right hand up in the air and we start again when i'm ready. :)

Take care and let us know how you get on.
x
:grouphug:

P.S. check out the dentist reccomendations on this website, there may be some in your area.
 
Hi, I just wanted to say I'm proud of you for posting here on these boards.

You've been through it all, haven't you?? I hope you contact the dentist near you that caters to phobics and I hope he is very nice.

Please keep us posted okay?

We do care, really!!!!!

melody
 
Hi Momof4.

You poor thing, that c-section sounds like a total nightmare.

Firstly, most of us on this forum have been ashamed of our teeth so don't feel embarassed around us. And you're very brave to post here. I think posting here was my first step to tackling my phobia, it did take me a while to ring the dentists but it was a concious start.

I think getting all your teeth pulled wouldn't be a good idea. If they can be saved they should be. I was hysterical the first time I met my dentist and asked him about dentures and he told me it really is best to try to save teeth if possible as dentures can be difficult for chewing with and they can make people gag.

Some of the brown on your teeth could even just be staining! I thought loads of my teeth were rotting, turned out that most were just really badly stained.

I too was madly scared of the dentist but I managed to get there in the end and I feel so much better about myself instead of worrying about my teeth all the time. I hope you can find the courage to go. Just think how cool it will be to be able to give your boys a big smile :)
 
Hi everyone, thanks for the replies. Im working up the courage to call the dentist. Its tough to do isnt it? Lol. I know Im going to feel, and look so much better in the end, and I cant wait to give my boys a great big smile. Everytime I think of calling, I get that horrible anxiety feeling in my stomach (I hate that feeling). Plus I picked up a sore throat/cough from my son so I will wait until I get over that until I go.

Thank you 'Ohdear', you seem so nice and wonderful. The c-section was a nitemare, but it saved my sons life. He had a prolapsed cord (it came out before his head cutting off his oxygen supply, and it was also tied in a knot behind him) and wasnt expected to pull through, even after they got him out. But a miracle happened and he is a happy, excessively hyper 2 year old boy, who defied the odds of being able to walk, and talk! He talks more than most 2 year old children do and doesnt bother walking for running lol. He came through with not a sign of the trouble his life began in. I love him beyond belief, so the unmedicated c-section, although the worst pain Ive ever experienced in my life, was worth it.
But I would still rather go through that pain, then go to the dentist, as odd as that sounds.

Anyway, thanks again everyone, it really helps me feel better to read everyone else is/has faced their fears and gotten through it all. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. :hug2:
 
Hi Momof4,

 :welcome:  As you can see, this is the best place to come talk about your fears.  It is nice to know that you aren't alone and everyone is so kind and supportive!  You should be very proud of yourself for getting to the point that you are.  When you are phobic, even considering visiting a dentist is a huge step.  

It took me a couple of months of reading everyone's stories before I got brave enough to send an e-mail to a dentist.  I wasn't ready to talk to them on the phone so I went that route.  Of course they called me the next day and I had to "face the music" after 17 years of avoiding any thoughts of the dentist.  I'm halfway through my treatment and still scared to death of my next appt. but at the same time thrilled that I've come this far.  It was a great help to post on this website through each step of the way.  Having everyone tell me it would be fine was a huge help and it was exciting to be able to write after my first real visit and tell all my new friends how it went.

I really don't have any profound words of wisdom but I can tell you that I was pleased at how different my experience was from years ago.  I was embarrassed to let the dentist see my teeth and expected to be scolded for avoiding a visit for all those years but they acted so happy that I chose them and promised to take "good care" of me.  Even the dreaded x-rays on my first visit were taken slowly and carefully because of my gag reflex.  Finding a dentist that is compassionate and respects your level of fear is very important.  I hope that the one you found turns out to be your perfect match.  Please let us know how it goes!!

I'm sending good thoughts your way, that you feel better soon and that you are able to pluck up the courage to contact the dentist.   :thumbsup:  It's not easy but it sounds as though you are very determined and that's half the battle!!

Keep us posted!  

Pam (TakingFlight)


 
 
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