22, 6 Missing Teeth And Possibly Losing More ; Strong Suicidal Thoughts

[angelicplush]

First I want to say that I had no idea there was a community revolved around this, I knew I wasn't alone with these struggles but it truly felt like it sometimes. I've searched reddit pages and different websites and there's been nothing but somehow I stumbled upon this place and I'm grateful.

I had a very neglectful childhood growing up, educationally, emotionally, and my health also has suffered. I have not been in school since the 5th grade so you can probably assess what I've had to deal with growing up. I'm in school now trying to get my GED but it's a little gut-wrenching because it's a little embarrassing but I'm hopeful and I'm enjoying getting educated about things I've been so curious about for so long. Anyways, although I've been improving in other aspects of my life I haven't been able to pinpoint why I'm still so miserable, hopeless about finding love and other things. I knew that my teeth affected me badly but I guess somehow I've blocked out all of those feelings, and it wasn't until I've started getting into deep journaling + therapy sessions that I've realized how badly my teeth have affected, and still is affecting my life. During my dentist appointments, when I would have broken rotting teeth and abscesses, I was very dissociated and it helped me during those traumatic appointments. Everyone said I would feel better after I got them taken out and I did, but every-time I went back it was just more bad news and more shame(Mother would always pretend to look puzzled that my teeth were horrible during dentist appointments and say that she's been telling me to brush even though none of that was true). From the earliest age of my life I hated brushing my teeth, who didn't when they were younger? But my mom said, just put some toothpaste on your tongue and call it a day. I was never taught basic brushing techniques and flossing was also non-existent. Dental appointments have been traumatizing for me from when I was little, I even fainted one time(I was prescribed calming medications that I had to take before appointments but my mom never gave me them because she said they'd make me a zombie, imagine telling an 8 year old that).

But that being said, I'm missing multiple of my teeth and I have decay on my front tooth and another tooth that's beside it and it's been driving me mad, I don't want dentures and dental implants won't be an option for me for many many years, if I'm even alive by then to get them. I really just want to die, I haven't had rest with my teeth and I've done way better with them over the past 2-3 years, it's taken me a lot considering I never had a habit of brushing them. I use straws now and I brush 2 times a day, I could do better with flossing but it's something I'm working on. I just don't know how to cope, I can get myself to feel better but the moment I look in the mirror or I move my tongue around and feel the huge gaps between my teeth, I instantly resort back to this shitty state of just wanting to die. It's stopped me from wanting to fall in love, I've met 2 guys in my life who I absolutely loved but I couldn't let them in out of fear of my teeth because I know they would've been disgusted. I don't know how to deal with this and the suicidal thoughts are getting stronger and stronger everyday. I also have an anxiety disorder and me missing teeth makes real life socializing terrifying. My missing teeth are very noticeable and I'm very self conscious around people to the point it just doesn't make me want to talk with anyone or make friends, even though I'm terribly lonely. My youth was stolen away from me, I never got to experience high school or my first kiss, or prom or even middle school for that matter and now I'm nearly halfway through my 20's and I have to sacrifice more of my youth because of my horrible teeth and mental illnesses, I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore and I just don't know what to do.

 

[NervousUSA]

@angelicplush I am really sorry you are dealing with this. It is always a hard situation to have to deal with dental decisions made for you as a child that cause problems you have to live with later on, something that myself and a lot of people on here would definitely understand. Are you seeing a dentist right now, or is that something you are looking into?

 

[Nicci]

I can completely relate to feeling utterly hopeless so you have my sympathy as it's extremely upsetting at times (to say the least). These tooth concerns and constant thoughts about your situation can consume your emotions/ energy and eat into what should be enjoyable experiences.


I started trying to sort my teeth in my 20s but the experience was terrifying. I still don't know if my teeth were that bad, either way I ended up with one side of my mouth deeply filled. The same was planned for the other side but I couldn't go through with it after that.
I had some gaps in check ups, but after wanting to get on top of things I've seemingly been on a never ending search to find someone who can explain my pains and therefore treat them. Anyway. I completely understand how you feel.

I also wasn't taught the importance of oral care, wasnt really encouraged nor pushed to see the dentist either, so everytime I did go it was because I had cavities. My dad would be the one to buy me sweets each week on top of that. My mum has gum disease and was regularly getting abcesses, my dad also has poor teeth and hasn't seen a dentist in my whole adult life.
Now I'm paying for all the things I did wrong.

I think it's really difficult to find the strength to deal with things but No1 - the starting point, is finding someone you trust who you feel able to progress /get treatment with. Do you have that, or a treatment plan? .
Usually people fear the absolute worst and things don't turn out to be that bad.. so try not to imagine the worst x

If you wanted a better appearance (I don't care, I just want to be pain free), there are things that can be done -i think this is something to consider if it's upsetting you so much.

The world is a very looks orientated place now so I also understand any fear, shame or embarrassment youre feeling - but I'm sure you are a lovely person and that that shines through. Anyone who is put off by your teeth isn't worthy of you imo.. keep in mind no matter how great our teeth, we all age, we all change.. do you want someone who is shallow to share your time (or even your life) with, I wouldn't.

If you have someone you can confide in, someone who will understand and possibly go with you to appointments if that's what you need, I would advise opening up to them, especially if you're struggling with dark thoughts x

 

[sarasue71]

I'm so sorry you feel so despondent. There is hope though. You are obviously an amazingly strong person and you are overcoming a very rough childhood. I applaud you.
I get the not wanting dentures, BUT, what if they could improve your overall health?

Here's my story. I went years without seeing a dentist due to a traumatic experience with one as a kid. That being said I had back teeth that would get loose and come out but they were in the back so I just ignored that. Then the worst happened. I had a front tooth become loose. I had to see a dentist. She was shocked when I told her I had been to a dentist in probably 20 years. Long story short after many x-rays it was determined my teeth were all infected and were destroying my jaws. The only option was to remove the teeth and save my health. Granted I'm older than you but still young for all this. I was 50 when I had them pulled.
Fast forward. I did get dentures and they are better than my loose broken teeth and definitely better than zero teeth! I can smile and feel confident, but most importantly I'm protecting my overall health and wellness.
I know it seems bleak. I shed many tears, but dentures are doable.
Since then my jaws have healed and I'm getting an implant surgery. They will be stronger than dentures and should last me for the rest of my life.
You've come so far from your childhood. Give yourself the chance to find happiness and a smile you will love. I'm totally rooting for you!

 

[Kate2022]

@angelicplush I am sorry this is happening to you. Please note that you are not alone. When I was a kid, no one has told me that I needed to brush teeth. I think I started brushing when I was ten (only morning brushing). I loved sweets, so you can imagine. So during my high school year, I had to pull out two molar teeth. Since then I’ve been trying if my teeth, but still felt shameful to go to the dentist. I bumped to the wall very hard during PE class in High School while playing sports. I chipped one of the front tooth which ended up with a filling. And 15 years after the incident, I finally went to the dentist and found that the other front tooth was damaged too and ended up with a root canal. Last year, my toddler girl constantly jumped on the bed and always ended up bumping her head to my front tooth. Finally the one that had root canal was broken and ended up with a 7 month long process for an implant. I feel ashamed having implant at this age. It’s been half a year, now I have no regret. I feel more confident than ever. Trust me, if the gap really bothers you, try implant. It works like a real tooth. You won’t even notice it yourself and you will sure build up your self esteem. We have so many rests in life, but we need to remind us that we can’t go back in time, we can only learn our mistakes and move on. Plus, we are missing only a couple teeth, it’s not end of the world. I know it’s hard, but please don’t overthink. It’s not good mentally. It impacts your health with other issues. Take care and all the best!

 

[Featherblade2007]

I'm so sorry you feel so despondent. There is hope though. You are obviously an amazingly strong person and you are overcoming a very rough childhood. I applaud you.
I get the not wanting dentures, BUT, what if they could improve your overall health?

Here's my story. I went years without seeing a dentist due to a traumatic experience with one as a kid. That being said I had back teeth that would get loose and come out but they were in the back so I just ignored that. Then the worst happened. I had a front tooth become loose. I had to see a dentist. She was shocked when I told her I had been to a dentist in probably 20 years. Long story short after many x-rays it was determined my teeth were all infected and were destroying my jaws. The only option was to remove the teeth and save my health. Granted I'm older than you but still young for all this. I was 50 when I had them pulled.
Fast forward. I did get dentures and they are better than my loose broken teeth and definitely better than zero teeth! I can smile and feel confident, but most importantly I'm protecting my overall health and wellness.
I know it seems bleak. I shed many tears, but dentures are doable.
Since then my jaws have healed and I'm getting an implant surgery. They will be stronger than dentures and should last me for the rest of my life.
You've come so far from your childhood. Give yourself the chance to find happiness and a smile you will love. I'm totally rooting for you!

I know this was intended for the OP but your story really gave me some hope this evening. I’ve been going through a lot with my teeth and feeling like there are always options is helpful. Thank you.

 

[sarasue71]

@Featherblade2007 I'm glad this gave you hope.