• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is very afraid of dentistry or who suffers with dental phobia. Please note that this is NOT a dental problems forum! You can find a list of them here.

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24 years old with grim dental issues.

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Georgiamoo

Junior member
Joined
Apr 20, 2016
Messages
2
So, in September of 2015 I visited my dentist after 8 years of avoiding them. I really plucked p the courage to go and making the appointment in the first place was a massive feat in itself - to me anyway.

Anywho, when I called to make the appointment I explained to the receptionist that I'm a nervous patient etc. She made me feel good about finally taking the step - which was fantastic. I arrived feeling a little less anxious and apprehensive as I thought I would. When I went in for my appointment, I explained to the dentist that I think my biggest fear was being judged and scored for the poor condition of my teeth. I also said that I'd rather her just crack on with what she has to do and just let me know when I should return for further treatment etc. She was very reassuring at this point.

The dentist did her examination and began to recite specific abbreviations for each tooth to the nurse. Me, trying to make light of the situation said "I've heard XLA a few times, doesn't sound good." I was expecting the response which I had requested and she went into FULL detail. I felt ashamed. Embarrassed.

At this point, I'm fighting tears. She basically scolded me for having horrendous teeth at 24 years old. She told me that I should return the following week to do some fillings and then I would be referred to a dental hospital. She also then said that dentures would be my only option (by the way the problem is with my back teeth) and that implants would be the best option. However...funds. I explained that I've come as an NHS patient and have expected to pay the top band only. Obviously she wanted to sell her private dentistry - which is fine. However given her knowledge of me being nervous, the money chat could have come at another point.

She made it sound so catastrophic and apocalyptic that she basically scared me way. Needless to say I haven't returned.
 
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Thephilsblogbar

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2015
Messages
785
Location
United Kingdom
At least you found it not the dentist for you, hopefully you will find a dentist who can help you, who will not scold you because nobody needs this who afraid of going to the dentist, who goes to the dentist, I don't enjoy going to the dentist myself
 
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Finding my voice

Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2016
Messages
28
I am so sorry to hear of your bad experience.I really think when dentists are being trained the word compassion and empathy needs to be included in their study.Also a section on dealing with nervous patients.
We are all imperfect in some way.You finally plucked up courage to go only to be reprimanded.What has that achieved but made you more dental phobic.
Please don't give up.You are not the only person who was scolded at the dentist.Take courage and get it sorted as leaving it will only make matters worse in the long run.Read the reviews of dentists in your area and try to find a good one.Remember not all people are judgemental.Keep strong.
 
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Georgiamoo

Junior member
Joined
Apr 20, 2016
Messages
2
I am so sorry to hear of your bad experience.I really think when dentists are being trained the word compassion and empathy needs to be included in their study.Also a section on dealing with nervous patients.
We are all imperfect in some way.You finally plucked up courage to go only to be reprimanded.What has that achieved but made you more dental phobic.
Please don't give up.You are not the only person who was scolded at the dentist.Take courage and get it sorted as leaving it will only make matters worse in the long run.Read the reviews of dentists in your area and try to find a good one.Remember not all people are judgemental.Keep strong.

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I read back what I wrote and to anybody who doesn't fear the dentist, this seems so petty. I find it difficult to accept that I have such an intense fear, so most of the time I just firm it and accept that I have bad teeth but I know I shouldn't have to do that and don't have to.

Some days I have crazy motivation to do it, others I just shut down. As I write this I feel indifferent to it. Yesterday I was having a moment trying to seek support and felt like this would be my only outlet.

Thanks again.:)
 
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haeshin

Member
Joined
Oct 14, 2015
Messages
51
What an ass that dentist was. Whether she knew you had fears or not, she shouldn't have gone judgmental. I'm terrified of dental problems but at least I know that my dentist is a nice guy. Though I don't have the guts to mention my fears to him, at least I know he won't judge me (not even over the half dozen cavities, lots of plaque, and wisdom teeth I needed pulled last year, dude didn't blink an eye), he'll just tell me the problem and what they'll do to fix it.

Or maybe he was just too busy to get judgmental, because he has a full practice and a never-ending stream of patients that keep him and his son, also a dentist in the same office, busy :) Oh well. Either way he seemed nice to me and the assistants were definitely nice and friendly too. That's a small comfort but a comfort nonetheless.
 
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Tink

Well-known member
Joined
May 14, 2013
Messages
746
Location
UK
Hi Georgia -

It's not petty, at all! That dentist was out of order, what you need from them is a patient and supportive attitude. You sound very motivated and did really well to get there at all!

Would you be in a position to go and find a different dentist? Not sure what the NHS availability is like in your area, but there are people on here who have had fantastic experiences with NHS dentists so there are good ones out there. I think with the right dentist and the right support you could really get past this and get the help you need.
 
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