I'm so humiliated and anxious to even be typing out these words, but I've reached a point where I can't avoid dealing with my fear any longer. I'm a 25 year old female, currently working full time, and even co-own a successful business. I was also recently accepted into a graduate program for this fall.
There are so many things I'm proud of myself for, and I generally love my life and the people in it.. However, a phobia of the dentist has been plaguing me since I was a child.
I'm embarrassed that I've only been to a dentist once that I can remember, to have a tooth pulled when I was around five years old. I don't remember it being a particularly negative experience, but the dentist wasn't exactly patient with me being terrified of her. Somehow, this irrational anxiety has lingered my entire life, causing me so much pain and guilt.
Due to my extreme anxiety, I have neglected my teeth. When I was fifteen years old, a big piece broke off one of my molars, and I never had it fixed. I flush it out with water and brush after every meal, and I try to keep it super clean, but obviously this is NOT the way to handle a problem like this. It was easier for me to deal with the pain than to confront my anxiety all of these years.
It has been TEN YEARS since this happened. I am horrified by that sentence, but I'm even more horrified of the diagnosis I might receive, and the need for extensive treatment. All of my other teeth are white, and I don't even have much plaque, but a portion of the broken tooth has turned black. : (
You can't really see it when I smile, and other than that, I really like my smile.
I know I'm smarter than this. I can't believe I've brought myself to this point. I'm so afraid to tell my parents about my problems. They have always respected me so much, and I worry they will never be able to look at me the same way again, for being so foolish about my health.
Has anyone else been through a similar situation? Waiting ten years to fix a badly broken tooth? Can anyone give me advice on what to expect from my first dental appointment, if I can bring myself to schedule one? Can anyone tell me what I could expect as a possible treatment, or diagnosis?
I'm trying to look at this realistically, but the fear of the unknown is driving me crazy.
Thank you so much for reading my ramblings. I'm so grateful for this place of support.