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26 scared of the dentist to the point i would rather die!



Junior member
Apr 1, 2016

Im 26 and a single mum to a beautiful 4 year old (my only reason to still be here)

my problems all sorted when i was younger i was never really made or forced to brush my teeth my parents just let me get away with not doing them, they were always too busy with something else (mum worked 3 jobs and dad was away with work monday to friday).

when i was about 11 i had braces. i had to have 4 teeth removed in 2 appointments to have them fitted, that is where the fear began!! the pain from the numerous failed injection amounts was bad enough. however, i came out in tears after the dentist basically had a massive go at me for telling him i could still feel him pulling the teeth out and i couldnt handle the pain. It felt like no matter how many times i told him he just carried on pulling away. i was all alone in the room my mum and dad were away and my granddad insisted her waited outside in the car.

ever since then i have been to the dentist a hand full of times for myself but i find it easy to take my daughter to her appointments.

My dental problems are getting worse. I brush, I floss and I use mouthwash 2-3 times a day, however i have already had 3 molars removed from the bottom of my mouth. i have broken wisdom teeth at the top because i have been to scared to get them out (they havent even seen a dentist) my front bottom gum has became very receeded to the point of im scared the tooth will fall out. they are discoloured and forming gaps between them. i know they need help ASAP. i am ashamed to smile infront of my friends and family, most of the time i cover my mouth.

there are many reasons why im scared of the dentist, i cant deal with the smell the noise even the sight of the chair. Im scared of it hurting as well as being judged at the state of my teeth. I also cant deal with the way they speak to you then i worry that they talk about you being your back to the assistant.

at this moment in time i want to go to the dentist ASAP but i cant even get over the fear and book an appointment let alone try and walk through the door and stay until im in that chair. I have considered asking someone to come with me but all my friends work or have their own children to look after. I also refuse to take my own daughter because i dont want her to see the fear that i have which i know will be there from the minuet i book the appointment. (if i dont put the phone down).

My fear is putting me off going to the dentist although i know i need to go. but the fear of loosing my teeth and bringing serious depression to the point of i have considered ending everything. sometimes i wish i wouldnt wake up in the morning and have to go through this day after day. i seriously think if my daughter wasnt here i would of ended my life over my teeth by now.


Well-known member
Jul 6, 2015
North Wales, UK
Hi Em1989,

Much of your story sounds like mine. I have been in the same terrible, terrible way with regard to my teeth, phobia and mental health. I came very close to doing something to myself but initially it was my daughter who helped me to get through each day at a time.

I avoided going to the dentist for 19 years. I hated them, they mare me shake, feel nauseous, have night sweats - all the usual anxiety and associated depression. But I finally made an appointment. It really wasn't easy. In the beginning even looking for dental practices on the internet was enough to give me diarrhoea. For months I would pick up the phone and put it straight back. But I finally did go to my appointment alone and very, very scared. Without going into my story, I fought to save my tooth. In the process I found a nice, gentle dentist. I was then eventually referred to a lovely kind and sensitive endodontist. I have since met another dentist who has replaced my initial dentist and once again he is very nice. I am gradually getting my faith back in dental professionals.

I still worry about my teeth daily. I know I'm not going to keep my problem tooth forever. But I have to be thankful that the outcome wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Some days are still bad but I have to say that I am now at a point where I have good days and actually enjoy life again.

Please hold on in there. Things will get better. Your daughter and family love you for who you are; not your teeth. You can get new ones. (If we are being realistic most people will have tooth loss as part of their future years.) Believe me when I say that the majority of professionals are there to help you enjoy good health. Anaesthetic these days is brilliant and medication from your GP and dentist can help cure your anxiety/fear before, during and after.

I wish you lots of luck. Please keep us updated x.