27yr Female- Suicidal after Left Upper First Molar Extraction

[MagnetoWasRight]

Hey there Jupiter. I'm really sorry about your tooth. I've had 5 extracted within the last 12 months, and I'm making an appointment to get dentures soon.

I understand how hard this is. I could barely speak to my dentist during my first extraction. I was crying too much to form words. It's hard when things happen to you and you can't go back in time and correct the mistakes that caused them.

I know you said you don't want mental help, but I have a feeling something besides dental phobia is going on. Maybe the stress of losing your tooth triggered this. You mentioned having a hard time over getting your hair cut, which makes me think you may have some sort of chronic general anxiety about things you can't undo.

I highly recommend seeing a therapist about this. I know you said that all you want is your tooth back, but I think focusing on gaining a peace of mind might be more important right now. Losing a tooth can be extremely emotional and triggering for someone with anxiety and depression. I've been there and I understand. I have a lot of mental issues I'm working through, and I think understanding what triggers them is very helpful.

Again, I've been in your shoes. I've wanted to end my life over losing a tooth to infection. I understand. All you can do right now is think about your options. A partial denture could help you. I'd like you to know that I've had numerous molars removed in the span of 12 months and my teeth hardly moved. You're most likely not going to have huge gaps in your teeth over this. A lot of this is your anxiety talking.

Please, consider your options. A partial denture would be a cheaper and more convenient option than costly braces.

Also, please. If there's one thing you do, see a therapist. Do not take your life over this. I sincerely believe you'll benefit from mental help, and I also think there's more to this than a general dental phobia. I hope things go well for you. Keep us updated and try to take care of yourself. You're more important than you think.

 

[Jupiter108]

guys thanks so much for your msgs it means alot to me,
but i really dont need mental help or anti depressant..
i just need my tooth back....
maybe my problem is i want eveeyhing to be perfect... if its not i go bonkers...


i worked so hard to be perfext and independent and now this....
i literally cant breath at night, i wake up with migraine everyday....
im googling euthanization in switzerland sad , it costs as much as braces, but sadly i dont seem to qualify ,



patient must be aged over 18. patient must make 2 oral and 1 written request for euthanasia. there must be at least 15 days between the first and the last request. patient must be terminally ill with a life expectancy of less than 6 months.

 

[MountainMama]

The only options at this point are a partial denture/bridge or an implant. You have to accept that you can't get the tooth back. Believe me, I have been where you are. I had days of not wanting to get out of bed, but I have two young kids, so I didn't have the option of giving up. I am also a perfectionist and somewhat of a control freak, so I understand.

Let me ask you a hard question. How did you feel when your friend commited suicide? Did you think that it was okay, or were you upset and confused? How do you think your family and friends would feel if you did the same thing.

I am going to be be blunt, but please understand that this comes from a place of support not trying to make you feel bad. Your feelings are real, and that is okay, but the tooth is a temporary issue, even if you don't see it now, and you are thinking about a permanent solution that ends up with you dead and your family and friends confused, devastated, and angry. Suicide is a selfish solution that hurts everyone who knows you. They will be left wondering if they could have done something to stop you, or if they said anything that contributed to your decision. I have seen suicide tear the surviving family members apart.

Please, for the sake of your family and friends, look for other options. Depression and anxiety do not mean there is something wrong with you. Situations can cause depression...it is a chemical process in your brain, not a choice.

 

[Jupiter108]

The only options at this point are a partial denture/bridge or an implant. You have to accept that you can't get the tooth back. Believe me, I have been where you are. I had days of not wanting to get out of bed, but I have two young kids, so I didn't have the option of giving up. I am also a perfectionist and somewhat of a control freak, so I understand.

Let me ask you a hard question. How did you feel when your friend commited suicide? Did you think that it was okay, or were you upset and confused? How do you think your family and friends would feel if you did the same thing.

I am going to be be blunt, but please understand that this comes from a place of support not trying to make you feel bad. Your feelings are real, and that is okay, but the tooth is a temporary issue, even if you don't see it now, and you are thinking about a permanent solution that ends up with you dead and your family and friends confused, devastated, and angry. Suicide is a selfish solution that hurts everyone who knows you. They will be left wondering if they could have done something to stop you, or if they said anything that contributed to your decision. I have seen suicide tear the surviving family members apart.

Please, for the sake of your family and friends, look for other options. Depression and anxiety do not mean there is something wrong with you. Situations can cause depression...it is a chemical process in your brain, not a choice.

whos gonna marry me with partial denture/bridge or an implant

 

[Jupiter108]

i fucked up my life now i have to pay for it,.. i need to close the space by pulling my 2nd and 3rd molar... and then hopefully ill forget abt this ans move on with my lfie

like this





my case is exactly like this... upper left molar gone ... then they close it wih 2nd and 3rd molar...

my only worry is both my 2nd and 3rd molar are not in pristine condition, so im scared in this process i lose 10,000 for braces 100,000 lost due to emplyement 10,000 in rent and flights in out of korea snd then END UP WITH 3 MISSING MOLARS .... ill then just shoot myself straight in the mouth

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Jupitar.

First of all I am so sorry for what you went through. I wanted to encourage you somehow earlier but just didn't have the words. What I can tell you is I got a partial denture when I was 31. It was not in the plans and I was not a model, not by far, different circumstances.. over the time , after my divorce I dated.. I felt awkward about having a partial denture and dating , feeling no one would want me like this. You do not have to tell anyone you have this and no one I dated ever noticed.. I can say a few times when I got more serious I did tell them. They didn't care at all. I know our experiences are not going to help you get your tooth back but they may somehow encourage you that there is a small bit of hope to go on.

 

[MagnetoWasRight]

whos gonna marry me with partial denture/bridge or an implant

I'm a 24f.

I'm having a full top denture done and my partner doesn't care. I don't see how anyone would even know you had an implant unless you told them.

People aren't going to judge you the same way you're judging yourself. People usually don't care about the authenticity of other people's molars.

You obviously know something is wrong because you're on a forum for people with a dental phobia. You even said yourself your friends would think it's silly for you to act this way over a tooth. You know something is wrong. It seems like this has been going on longer than you believe. If you don't want to talk to a therapist there are plenty of mental health forums for you to post on. You should try that. You're obviously having some sort of nervous break down over this.

A lot of people are open to sharing their experiences with you. We're here for you, but only you can make the first step to fix this. You've asked for advice, and the majority of the advice seems to be for you to seek mental help. I know this isn't the solution you wanted, but you already made the first step by posting on this forum. You wanted someone to talk to, and I highly encourage you to focus on telling a therapist the same things you told us.

No one can obtain perfection, trying to is only going to make us go insane.

Please do not kill yourself. At least give therapy a shot. Don't let these negative thoughts rob you of a chance at a long, happy life. There's even online therapists you can message these days. Please, don't hurt yourself.

 

[MountainMama]

whos gonna marry me with partial denture/bridge or an implant

You would be surprised at the fact that most people would not care. Those that do would not be worth marrying.

My husband is not disgusted by the fact that I lost molars. He doesn't even care that I might lose my front tooth. To me, it feels like a huge deal, and honestly if I lose my front tooth, I will be devasted, no lie. However, he told me that he married me because he loved me, not just my looks.

When you find the right person, they will not care at all if you had a partial denture, an implant, or even a gap with no tooth. No one will ever be as critical of it as you will. Believe me, I am so self conscious of my teeth right now, but the friends who know about my teeth say they can't even tell, and wouldn't have known if I hadn't told them.

I know it is hard to see now, but you will find someone that loves you for your personality, interests, and what makes you who you are. Yes, they will be attracted to you physically at first, but it is the personality that keeps the relationship going.

 

[MountainMama]

I want to add that before this year, I would have said that there was no way I would ever take antidepressants or talk to a doctor about depression. I seriously hate having things out of my control, and taking medication to control my mood was the last thing I ever wanted to do. I didn't even want to admit that I was depressed enough that I couldn't snap out of it. I got to a point where I knew my depression and anxiety over my teeth were affecting my family. My husband has also always been anti medication, and he even brought it up that I needed to talk to my doctor. I was petrified to do so, but my doctor made it seem so natural, assuring me that a lot of people have situational depression, and it doesn't mean that you have to be on medication the rest of your life. After the first few weeks, I could tell a huge difference. I was able to see how irrational I was before, and able to focus on what really mattered, and how it was affecting my life. I still plan on going off of them in September, as they have gotten me through the worst of it, and helped me deal.

 

[MagnetoWasRight]

I relate, MountainMama.

I was on Ativan after a series of mental breakdowns. I was pretty against medication before that. Once I was on it for a while, I realized a lot of my thoughts were my anxiety talking for me. The mediation helped me see clearly for once and make rational decisions to fix my life.

Having a mental problem isn't shameful and medication can definitely help.

 

[MountainMama]

I relate, MountainMama.

I was on Ativan after a series of mental breakdowns. I was pretty against medication before that. Once I was on it for a while, I realized a lot of my thoughts were my anxiety talking for me. The mediation helped me see clearly for once and make rational decisions to fix my life.

Having a mental problem isn't shameful and medication can definitely help.

I think that a lot of people (me included prior to all this) have the idea that needing help makes them weak or that it is shameful. My doctor told me that I would be surprised if I knew how many people took anxiety meds or antidepressants short or long term. It just isn't talked about.

 

[MagnetoWasRight]

MountainMama,

Yes! The first time I had to go to the ER for my mental issues was the hardest thing I've done. I felt weak and like I couldn't help myself. I didn't understand why I couldn't help myself, I just felt like everything was out of my control.

The doctor I saw reacted the same way. I'm grateful for the doctors that are helping patients remove some of the shame they feel. I'm also grateful for others on this forum that have had similar experiences. You guys are pretty cool.

 

[Jupiter108]

its easy for you guys because you are already married, im not ... im single and guys i tend to date are not easily maintained.... imagine now that im handicapped missing teeth

im 27 only and im already missing FIVE TEETH

4 PREMOLARS DUE TO ORTHODONTIST WHEN I WAS 8
NOW 1 MOLAR BECAUSE OF MY STUPIDITY

THATS 3 MISSING TEETH IN MY MAXILLA


LOOK ST ANY MODEL THE MAXILLA IS THE FOUNDATION OF GOOD LOOKS

WTF WAS I THINKING WHEN I REMOVED THE TOOTH IS BEYOND MEEE

 

[MagnetoWasRight]

its easy for you guys because you are already married, im not ... im single and guys i tend to date are not easily maintained.... imagine now that im handicapped missing teeth

im 27 only and im already missing FIVE TEETH

4 PREMOLARS DUE TO ORTHODONTIST WHEN I WAS 8
NOW 1 MOLAR BECAUSE OF MY STUPIDITY

THATS 3 MISSING TEETH IN MY MAXILLA


LOOK ST ANY MODEL THE MAXILLA IS THE FOUNDATION OF GOOD LOOKS

WTF WAS I THINKING WHEN I REMOVED THE TOOTH IS BEYOND MEEE

I'm not married. I started dating my girlfriend when I had bad teeth, not before. She didn't care. I don't know what types of people you're dating, but if they're that superficial it makes me want to advise you not to date them. I also don't think it's appropriate to say you're handicapped just because you're missing five teeth.


We can't give you your tooth back. This forum is for support and advice. We want to help you. We'd love to make you feel better, but we can't fix what's already been done.

My advice to you would be to not panic otherwise you might make another decision you regret. Consider all the options you have, you're going to have to make a decision. In my opinion, the best options would be an implant or partial denture. No one's going to notice or care you have them. You're panicking right now, you're not thinking clearly.

Honestly, other than sharing my experiences and advice, and offering you words of comfort, I'm not sure how to help you. If you'd like, there's a part of this forum where you can ask dentists questions, maybe a professional's advice would matter more to you.

Other than that, I'm not sure what to do to comfort you. I really want to help you. I don't want you to hurt yourself. I understand that you're scared and confused right now. It's going to be alright.

Jupiter, besides having your tooth back, what would make you feel better?

 

[Judythecat]

I'm just going to leave this here, from a major campaign Gucci ran last month.

Jupiter, I think everyone understands that you are very distressed, but honestly, your posts are distressing for other people. The majority of people on this forum have had issues with their teeth, many (including me) who have gaps because of extractions. Using words like handicapped is really rude and insulting. I really hope you can get some help with this, but meanwhile it would be kind if you could consider how other people might feel when they read your posts, which essentially say that having missing teeth is disgusting and makes people unworthy. It isn't, and it doesn't.

 

[Jupiter108]

I'm just going to leave this here, from a major campaign Gucci ran last month.

Jupiter, I think everyone understands that you are very distressed, but honestly, your posts are distressing for other people. The majority of people on this forum have had issues with their teeth, many (including me) who have gaps because of extractions. Using words like handicapped is really rude and insulting. I really hope you can get some help with this, but meanwhile it would be kind if you could consider how other people might feel when they read your posts, which essentially say that having missing teeth is disgusting and makes people unworthy. It isn't, and it doesn't.

im sorry i dont want anyone to feel bad about missing their teeth, im just upset coz my tooth could have been saved but i removed it because of that stupid movie the root cause...

 

[MountainMama]

I am guessing that your four premolars that were removed have no gaps, since they were removed for braces. No one would ever even know.

I agree with @Judythecat that you need to use a little sensitivity about how you are approaching this on the forum. We all understand how upsetting it is to lose teeth. I shared my experience, and I went from having healthy teeth to losing three molars within a year. I tried the root canal route and it failed. It was devastating but now I am on the other side, where I am looking at how to fix it. Even with missing 3 molars, when I smile, you can't tell. That is also with 4 premolars gone from my childhood as well.

As Magneto said, you may want to think about dating people who are not so superficial. They wouldn't make a good spouse anyway, in the long term. Looks will change as you age. That is life.

 

[Sol]

Jupiter,
This community here has shown you a ton of support and provided a lot of good advice.
A few pleas:
Please be kind to yourself. Beating yourself up about this and trying to think about all the past what ifs will prevent you from moving forward. Like the old saying, it is always darkest before the dawn, you can move past the negativity you are feeling now and have a brighter future.
Please take care of yourself. Make sure you are getting enough to eat, resting, exercising and taking time to do things you enjoy.
Please seek counseling.
The feelings you are describing (hopeless, can't stop crying, loss of self worth, etc.) are signs of depression. It doesn't matter where you start: a crisis hotline, your doctor, a therapist but please seek help. After you have a chance to work through these feelings you will have a better perspective on the situation and be better equipped to make decisions about your future.

 

[MagnetoWasRight]

im sorry i dont want anyone to feel bad about missing their teeth, im just upset coz my tooth could have been saved but i removed it because of that stupid movie the root cause...

I don't believe you intentionally wanted to insult anyone here, but I definitely recommend you try to be mindful of how you come off since many of us here also struggle with self esteem issues due to our teeth. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having teeth extracted. I'm also missing five of mine because of extractions.

I still suggest you seek counseling, like many others here have also suggested. You have a lot of signs of a deeper issue that might be anxiety or depression. You might feel better if you speak to a professional, and it certainly wouldn't hurt to, either.

Also, I also get triggered by reading or watching stories about other people's medical problems. Try to stay away from googling or watching anything that might trigger you into making brash decisions.

Are you still feeling upset and overwhelmed? Are you starting to feel any better?

 

[geos]

whos gonna marry me with partial denture/bridge or an implant

Did a guy you dated ever asked you if you had an implant? Did a guy you dated ever pulled out a light and dental tools and started looking in your mouth? Pretty sure the answer is no. No one would notice, except if you bring it in the discussion.

I'm from Canada, and many hockey players have partial dentures because of knocked out teeth. Guess what, plenty of girls still date them and they don't care.

Talk to your dentist's dental team, you might be surprised to know what kind of work they had done that you never noticed.

I had my upper right first molar pulled out because of a bad infection. The time my gum healed, the time my implant integrated to the jaw, waiting for the crown, there was no tooth there and absolutely no one ever noticed.