30 years of neglect! I need help.

[darkpsy]

Hi All

Dental phobia is the biggest curse of my life! Sadly i havnt been to the dentist in 30 years, and havnt looked after my teeth at all. I had some really bad experiences when i was a kid and that was that! I just cant even contemplate going to a dentist, but i know i will have to. My teeth are very very bad, the ones i do have left are not a good colour and are in bits. I have recently been getting huge pain on my jaw and swelling around one tooth. But i cant even walk past a dentists without feeling so scared i could throw up. Years ago a girlfriend had to go and asked me to go with her and i passed out in the waiting room! and it wasnt me that was going in!! In fact if the subject crops up in a conversation is feel all queesy! Im ashamed of them (and myself) i have low confidence and it effects my every day! I just wish i could wave a magic wand and have them sorted. I live in the North East of the UK (Newcastle) i would just love to have some help in some way. I found this site a while ago but ive just plucked up the courage to join and post.!!!

im feeling ill after this!!

 

[franklinm]

First of all I think to all dental phobics, their fears is the biggest curse in their lives. Even though your teeth may look bad they're not the worst that the dentist has seen, I promise that . If you feel up to it then the first step is to search online for a dentist directed toward nervous patients. But if you feel like you can't do that then you might want to look for someone to talk about your fears with you. Once you get it off your back it feels amazing. Trust me on this, dentistry has come a long way since 30 years ago. You can do this.

 

[darkpsy]

Thank you for your reply.

Well I did a search and emailed a couple of dentists and i have one reply. Im shaking at the thought of it!! They have said they can treat me and has asked for me to ring them. I will once i have plucked up enough courage.

 

[Carys]

The good news is that everything can be done in small steps. You have done really really well to even email, given that even the thought of the dentist makes you feel sick. If this dentist sounds like he can deal with your phobia then why not just meet him/her. Even if you only get as far as sitting in the waiting room and then sitting in the dental surgery. Has he/she given you any idea about how they will help you to overcome your deep seated fears ? It is really unlucky for you that you are prone to fainting...I've never fainted in my life despite feeling like it, but my husband is very prone to fainting and does so now and again.

 

[darkpsy]

Thanks Carys

No they havnt mentioned anything about how they will overcome my fears, We have had a few mails go back and forth with my worries and fears etc. They seem really nice and more than willing to work with me in getting help. They have said they use Midazolam or "happy gas" for use of sedation but to be honnest i think i will need it just to have a examination! I would prefer not to be awake at any stage in fact! I suffer from anxiety anyways and take propanalol which is perscribed by my GP. Yeh the faiting thing is silly i know and its only happened to me the once when i was in the waiting room when i went to "help out" A friend! fat lot of use i was that day! Im not sqeamish, im a registered 1st aider and have seen some gore in my time and that did not bother me! I have been close to ringing a couple of times now but the anxiety levels go through the roof when i start to type the number into the phone! Writing on here is helping me knowing others are as bad as me and can sympathise with me, This forum really is helping.

 

[letsconnect]

Hi darkspy

it's brilliant to hear that you have plucked up the courage to e-mail a practice ! We all know how difficult taking that first step is. And great to hear that they seem nice and willing to work with you to get help .

Maybe it would be possible to meet your potential dentist outside a treatment room (depending on how much space they have), just for a chat, to see if you like and trust them? You could ask if that's possible, either on the phone (if you can manage to call) or in an e-mail.

Wishing you the best of luck

 

[Patti]

I agree, it is the biggest curse--but we can only run from it for so long before it catches up with us and we have no choice but to face the fear. I am almost 49 and have only had my first 2 fillings about 5 years ago and almost 2 weeks ago had my first tooth extracted. TALK ABOUT TERROR! But I learned something: Novicaine is great! I never felt pain. And Nitrous gas is also wonderful because I didn't care about anything. (I was afraid of the Nitrous but now I'm not.) I really can't figure out WHAT I'm afraid of? It's not the shots or the drill. I may just be scared of being scared? I haven't quite sorted that out yet.

My parents never took me to a dentist so this is 49 years of fear built up. Not pretty.

I have to go back to the dentist to have her check the rest of my teeth. I know I need a crown on one of my 2 fillings but there's going to be a lot more. I still need to call for that appointment... but I'm scared to hear what else I need.

 

[franklinm]

Just remember darkspy that you only take this one step at a time. You go at your own pace, people don't overcome their fear in a day or week it takes many months or either years. Just call the practice when you're ready, don't put too much pressure on yourself .

 

[scotsman44]

I hope that you get all the help, support and treatment you deserve.
I too have serious problems and your posting has encouraged me to also post - and moreover to do something about my issues with the dentist too.
I have been looking on this site for years and it helps, but I share your fear. Be strong.

 

[darkpsy]

hi all.

you guys are so encouraging it helps in a huge way.

Today i took the plunge and have made my first appointment!! EEK!! It took a while to find the strength to phone them but hey, it wasnt as bad as all that and they was very nice. Next week i go for my first appointment which is just going to be a examination. The dentist will know beforehand about my fear and is apparently a lovely lady who will not judge me and will try keep me relaxed. So next tuesday!! EEK!! They did say i could go tomorrow but i bottle out of that one, that was too soon! LOL.

Well its done! yikes!!

 

[franklinm]

Good for you, you made the first appointment. I also too told e-mailed my dental practice and got a nice reply. I think now that a dentist knows that you're scared she will be able to help you a great deal as I hope mine will be able to too. I would definitely use nitrous oxide as Pafons mentioned it was great. It definitely puts you out of it and you don't give a care in the world about anything. Good luck with your appointment, let us know how your appointment goes. Now I just hope I can get through my appointment that's in July.

 

[bisja]

Good for you making that first step! I know how hard that is to do.

 

[45andAfraid]

Ohhhh you sound just like me when I first had to go!

As someone posted on here. "But if you feel like you can't do that then you might want to look for someone to talk about your fears with you. Once you get it off your back it feels amazing. Trust me on this, dentistry has come a long way since 30 years ago." He is SOOOO right!! So yes, trust him AND trust me too!

I talked to someone online about dental fears (some other forum) years ago because I couldn't go. I feared everything! I couldn't even watch toothbrush/paste/mouthwash commercials without feeling shame, utter guilt and needing to get up and walk out of the room.

Today, after having such a wonderful dental friend who I've become great friends with outside of dental issues, I also have my extremely caring partner who's encouraging and goes with me to every single appointment.

I would not be where I am today if I hadn't have made that first step of just "talking" about it.

Unlike a lot of people tho, I have no fears of drills, or needles. I'm not afraid of sounds, smells, etc. What I have an issue with is gagging. My gag reflex is highly sensitive so my avoidance to the dentist was specifically for that reason. Just a mirror hovering inside my mouth triggers my gag reflex, it's horrible!

I cannot have a dental visit without sedation. So I have opted to go private and pay an enormous amount of money to have implants done because I would never be able to sustain dentures. What I wouldn't give to be able to actually have a normal conversation with my dentist. He is the most sweetest, caring and gentle soul I'll ever have but each and every time I have an appointment, I take 2 sedatives.... lay down... I'm getting nitrous as well and then the next thing I know I'm home in bed. I never get to "talk" to my dentist so I have to make none "chair" visits just to get updated etc. But I tell you, I couldn't do it without sedation.

I"m off to the dentist in about 2.5 hours time for my long awaited implants for my top. I can't wait. I'm nervous as I always will be but I know I'll be absolutely fine! It'll all be worth it in the end.

I wish you much success with this journey ahead of you! You CAN do this! Just keep posting, keep talking, and keep us informed.