30 years without a visit do the dentist... doomsday is tomorrow...

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JohnJohn

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Dear friends...

I'm a 36 year old grown up... who had a small surgery as a child (at 5) not related with teeth at all. That surgery went pretty well, zero problems... unfortunatly the entire experience traumatized me for life...

I remember lying on the stretcher... the operation room lights... the mask... the nurse asking me to count to 10... I remember waking up in the middle of the night in the ICU... alone in a freaking dark hospital room, wondering when my parents would come to pick me up... 30 years ago...

This simple experience... ruined my entired medical life... as a child my parents took me to a family friend dentist... he was pretty chill... still my fears were huge... I only remember going there 1 time between 6 and 10 years old...
I took an X-Ray... and they were preparing to pull one tooth for whatever reason... I sat on the chair... he looked at me and say "go home, your tooth as already fall. Nothing to do here." This was around 30 ... years... ago...

My parents never forced me to go to the dentist again... I have no idea why... never asked... I always tried to take care of my teeth, never smoked, not many sweets, sugars, alcohol... but time catch us all... it reality catch us all... no matter what...

All these years without dental care resulted in bunch of problems... some crocked teeth (I have all 4 wisdom teeth... yeh... all 4...) tartar accumulation.. that resulted in gengivitis and also some (I think...) periodontitis...

Last friday... the headaches started... 30 years of dental neglecting hit me like a knife in the head... in the heart... the headaches are 100% related with my teeth problems...

After an awful weekend... I finally gave my first step... and called a dentist... it took me 30 years to schedule a stupid meeting... I had episodes that I started shacking just by dealing the dentist number and would stop...

I'm one of those guys who is afraid of everything related with doctors... but my doomsday as come... tomorrow morning at 10:15... I'm sitting on the chair to do my first clean up/check up in 30 years... I'm terrified about doing another surgery... gum surgery... I'm super ashamed... feeling super guilty that I did this to myself... damn this is hard even to write this stuff...

My personal and work life went from 100% do 30% this week... can't sleep... surviving on ibuprofen... nobody understand this fear, this fobia...

Tomorrow I'm going alone... wish me luck... :cry:

I'll post again tomorrow...
 
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Thecatsmother

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Good luck for tomorrow, you are very brave, and it will all be worth it for the peace of mind it will bring.
 
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MelJJ

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Best of luck for your appointment. I had my first appointment after 30 years last week so I know how scary it feels. Getting through that first appointment was such a relief though.
 
J

JohnJohn

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Thank you for your kind words...

The appointment went perfectly in terms of dental care. I think it was around 45 minutes maybe a little bit more of work around tartar. I had to suck it up... explained the situation, sat down... took 3 fast breaks... tried to help the dentist the best that I could... she told me that I helped a lot...yeiii... small win... still not happy :(

As we all know... 30 years of zero dental care have its problems... after the cleaning done... then came the X-Ray ... the dentist told me maybe we couldn't save 2 molars (1 it's a wisdom)...

The reality is that I have a very bad case of periodontitis in 3 teeth (molars). I knew that... I scheduled a meeting with the specialist at the clinic for monday morning first hour... I hope it doesn't hurt taking out those 2 teeth :cry: I'm scared as sh......

But I have to face de consequences... all this is my fault... now I have to take responsability either with or without pain... I have to keep moving forward with my dental health... for my future children :cry: I want to be brave and help them not going through this like I am now... :cry:

I just don't want to suffer physically and psychologically... I hope... Monday goes okay... :cry:
 
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Thecatsmother

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Well done! You are moving in the right direction, it will all be worth it in the end.
 
A

AsterCricket

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Congrats on a great step! In October I went to the dentist for the first time in 20 years. I had pondered an appointment for at least four years before I finally was more afraid of the consequences of not going than I was of going.

Someone told me, “The pain of healing is always better than the pain of infection,” and that’s literally the belief that pushed me through it all. And it’s so true! I had my first cleaning on a Friday, and four wisdom teeth removed the next day. 10 days later we started some work, finished it yesterday. I was terrified, but whatever discomfort came along with treatment didn’t compare to the amount of pain I was in beforehand. And I feel amazing! My teeth feel better than I ever could have thought. You’re taking care of you and that’s something to be so proud of! Buy the ticket take the ride! Good luck with the rest of your treatment. :bounces:
 
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MelJJ

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Well done you, what a huge achievement :claps: and good luck for Monday.
 
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JohnJohn

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Today I had my visit to the periodontist... I thought they were pulling 2 teeth out... they didn't... basically they measured the spacing between my teeth... some are pretty bad.. others are meh... and some others are okay. The measurement procedure wasn't nice... I think the dentist was a bit rough... they stick something between your teeth to analyse the spacing... in some areas it did hurt a little bit, it's unconfortable not gonna lie.. but it's pretty fast the measurement procedure. It's ok.

In the meantime... I still have at least 2 teeth to pull out (1 wisdom :cry: and another tooth which at this point only has 1 root so it seems..) ...

I'm beggining a simple treatment for 2 weeks. Basically there are some presistent bacteria which are doing armful stuff to my gums... so I need to use some special very tiny brushes between my teeth.
Then again... the dentist showed me how to do it... and there was "a lot" of blood coming out of my gums... unconfortable but not a huge pain. And again I think she was a bit rough with those small brushes... :(

I had to suck it up... now.. I have to wait for the 23rd of November... when my surgeries will take place :cry: I've been trying to be strong... but it's so hard the mental part... I hope I don't get traumatize all over again :cry:

At least for the tartar cleaning I think my mind is cured... hope the surgeries go well :(
 
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MelJJ

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:)Well done you, sounds like you done really well. Did you have to have any deep cleaning done at all ?
 
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JohnJohn

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:)Well done you, sounds like you done really well. Did you have to have any deep cleaning done at all ?
Deep cleaning sounds like the surgery I have to take :cry: ... if it's just tartar removal... well yes... I did a 45 minute session.
 
H

Hanaku

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So much bravery, you are inspiring me!

I have about two months to try to do something before my perfectly good teeth will be (mostly?) pulled out. I decided to have a plan to really do as good dental hygiene as possible, brushing two times a day, maybe learning how to floss, using the gum disease medicine the dentist told me to use two times a day, I even bought a new, soft toothbrush and proper toothpaste.

What I really wanted to comment on, though, was that since you're taking Ibuprofen and you report being fearful and possibly anxious (?), my experiences with Ibuprofen are that this particular painkiller, as great as it is in its effectiveness and all, seems to cause horrible anxiety in me, the kind where the world becomes a tiny box you can't escape, and desperately want to. It's like you're imprisoned and crushed from all sides, you become restless, sleepless, non-hungry, and alert - and just HAVE to escape the prison you're in.

But there's no 'concrete' prison, it's just a really suffocating feeling that you don't know how to escape, and no matter what you try, you feel so awful you just want to jump out of your body and fly far away.

I noticed that when I stopped taking this particular painkiller, this anxiety went away and I could see world as 'vast place to explore' instead of 'suffocating box that closes me in and doesn't let me escape'. It was almost a panic, I had to go outside for a walk just to get out of something somehow. Then it took a long session of videogames to finally start feeling more 'normal' again.

It could be just me, but I couldn't help noticing that you mentioned the same painkiller I used, and seems like you were experiencing similar feelings - it's extremely easy to be scared out of your mind when under the influence of Ibuprofen. I had meditated for a month, so I was usually very calm and harmonious and 'OK with the world' before I took that stuff, so I was surprised to suddenly have weird, even 'faceless fears' that weren't about anything particular, but felt like a big knot in the stomach was pulling you down.

I realize it is a lifesaver for many people - easy to get, easy to use, always effective, takes the physical pain away. But used too much or too long (I used it for about 3 days multiple times a day until it started getting really bad), it's possible it might be at least partial cause or influence for the fears and anxieties. I have no other proof but I had two complete rollercoaster days, where in the early morning (Ibuprofen still in effect) I had anxieties, weird fears, felt absolutely awful (winter's darkness doesn't help), but then I experienced something small, and felt absolutely great (first day, it was a walk, second day, a social experience online).

So when I looked at when I had taken the medication, I noticed that when I started feeling good on both days, were exactly around the time the effect would have worn off.

In addition, I took more later during the day when I felt absolutely great, and very soon I was the most anxious I have probably ever been in my life, it was as horrible, as I had earlier felt good.

So it might not be just your own fears, there might be something else affecting you.

Having this kind of deep problem with a popular painkiller is of course very problematic, when it comes to teeth and such - I might have to take it again some day, and face the horrors.. what a Catch-22, in a way. But this could be just me, so you all are lucky that do not suffer this effect.

I am a little bit anxious today as well - it's not every day you hear that all (or most) of your teeth will have to be pulled away and you have to start using dentures for the rest of your life.

I have still all my original teeth, but for how long.. why does gum disease have to exist?
 
J

JohnJohn

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Lisbon
Dear friends... tomorrow is my third appointment in this mental and difficult journey... tomorrow morning... I'll be sitting on the chair... my first dental surgery, one tooth will come out... I'm trying not to freak out... but it's so damn hard :( I really hope the anesthesia goes well...

I have no idea what the dentist will do to me, and I don't wanna know... one tooth will come out because of periodontitis... and there's something else she told me she was going to do regarding periodontitis... I don't wanna know... I know I need 2 sessions for that... she told me... but I'm just gonna sit there... grab my stress ball... and hope time passes quickly and painlessly... I need another one to come out... wisdom one... that will torture me for months since I'm not doing both teeth tomorrow... I think :cry:

The only positive thing at this point... is that the pain in my gums went away and never came back after the first cleaning.

Dear friends... for me... it works not knowing what is going on... if I don't know... I don't think about it... I have no idea what to expect.. if it will hurt... if it will take a long time... I try no to search things on the internet... because you know... you'll "die"... so I just don't try to search a lot about stuff at the moment... maybe in a year, after my treatment is done, I'll investigate about my problems to understand them a little bit more... but at this point... I just don't wanna know...

Once again... I'll try to suck it/man up... I'll try no to cry in my "mental prison cell"... and keep moving forward... f... this is going to be a long night...

I'm atheist... but if someone can... put a word on your big guy for me...
 
Enarete

Enarete

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Hi JohnJohn,

I know it doesn’t feel that way, but you‘re doing great. Anxiety - even terror - simply belongs to this process. You had a very traumatic experience as a child and if this lead to your avoiding of doctors altogether for so many years, it would be more than strange if you wouldn‘t have anxiety regarding today‘s procedure.

One thing I would like to mention is how much dentistry changed nowadays. It‘s not something done to you anymore, you are a customer. So particularly as you are worried about pain, please talk to your dentist so that she can make sure for you to stay comfortable. If you voice your concerns, she will surely be able to help. Believe me, having pain is not only awful for you, but your dentist too. Against the common stereotype, (kind) dentists actually want their patients to be comfortable.

Also, please stop beating yourself up. If something painful happened to us, we keep avoiding the thing, that‘s how human brain works and it‘s a basis of survival instinct. Your situation is not your fault, it will most likely be a combination of the experience you mentioned, of the fact that your parents didn‘t take you earlie, of the fact that dental anxiety wasn‘t taken seriously back then. It certainly isn‘t something that you caused for yourself. You are doing a great job tackling this.

Sending you prayers
 
M

MumOfBoys1985

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How have you got on today at your appointment?

Its always the build up that's the worst part, it's never as bad as you think its going to so I'm sure you have got on just fine 🤞
 
J

JohnJohn

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So monday.... deep cleaning lower jaw. 3 anesthesias. the lady was an angel. things went fast and well...

TODAY... went in again... to remove the wisdow... another x-ray... bad news... root absortion near the wisdow tooth (1 molar)... jesus my stress went bonkers...

The "Angel" told me if I wanted to reschedule for next week... I said... "Next week the problem won't go away... my problem is in my mind... go forward and be gentle..."

Another anesthesia (1 or 2 no idea...)...................... a few minutes I was like... "what? you removed both? wait what? I thought you were doing some prep to remove them."

She took both teeth and I didn't notice!!! I have absolutely no idea if she removed the crocked wisdom first or the molar! She took more time cleaning the holes than anything else. Like WOW! I was super impressed!!! Like really impressed!

Now I'm here typing with one hand... ice in the other hand on my face, with a tissue in my mouth soaking some normal blood... with 0 pain. I don't get it how is this possible!

But i'm happy! Next week need to go there to remove 1 stich... and I have another molar to remove on the upper jaw (again... root absortion... :cry: )

This week... it's recovery week... Ibrufen 8 in 8 hours... ice... and benuron in case of pain.
 
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MumOfBoys1985

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And you know you're going to completely smash it next week because that will be easier than this appointment and you walked this one!! Well done and it really sounds like you have found a great dentist.
 
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Spider

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thank you for sharing your story. You are incredibly brave and so inspiring. Please keep sharing your journey- I look forward to it.
 
J

Jay45169

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So monday.... deep cleaning lower jaw. 3 anesthesias. the lady was an angel. things went fast and well...

TODAY... went in again... to remove the wisdow... another x-ray... bad news... root absortion near the wisdow tooth (1 molar)... jesus my stress went bonkers...

The "Angel" told me if I wanted to reschedule for next week... I said... "Next week the problem won't go away... my problem is in my mind... go forward and be gentle..."

Another anesthesia (1 or 2 no idea...)...................... a few minutes I was like... "what? you removed both? wait what? I thought you were doing some prep to remove them."

She took both teeth and I didn't notice!!! I have absolutely no idea if she removed the crocked wisdom first or the molar! She took more time cleaning the holes than anything else. Like WOW! I was super impressed!!! Like really impressed!

Now I'm here typing with one hand... ice in the other hand on my face, with a tissue in my mouth soaking some normal blood... with 0 pain. I don't get it how is this possible!

But i'm happy! Next week need to go there to remove 1 stich... and I have another molar to remove on the upper jaw (again... root absortion... :cry: )

This week... it's recovery week... Ibrufen 8 in 8 hours... ice... and benuron in case of pain.
👍👍👍 Well done ...have my first appointment with a dentist in the morning, my first in 30 years , obviously iam a wreck at the minute , doubt I'll sleep ....I have a terrible top row of teeth mostly all damaged and missing & rotten. dreading seeing him tomorrow ... Need a wisdom tooth out that been broke along the gumline for a year ...that's really the only one giving me trouble ... So hopefully I can get it sorted for Xmas & try and enjoy Xmas and my food ...then try get rest sorted in new year ..... Glad your doing well
 
J

JohnJohn

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Hi everyone. So another molar came out. This time we had to put a little bit more anaesthesia cause I was feeling stuff. Not pain nothing... but I was feeling stuff.

So yeah... now I'm fully recovered (1 wisdom, 2 molars from the same side). It's weird to eat... I have (sort of) two healthy holes where my wisdom+molar were that make me spend waaaay more time brushing my teeth, cleaning everything right because foods gets stuck in those holes... it's awful but... no pain.

Next appointment is January 4th, cleaning the roots of the upper jaw.

I hate the chair... but I think my fobia as disappeared... I'm still afraid... but I will start to go more often to the dentist. :).

My gengivites is gone, my gum pains are gone, my teeth are super clean (missing my 2 molars :( ) and making dentist schedules regularly!

Thanks everyone!
 
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