• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

    Register now to access all the features of the forum.

32 years old and never been to the dentist.



Junior member
Oct 2, 2015
So the title says it all. My teeth are horrible. Probably right up there with the worst you have ever seen. It kills me inside and out. The pain is nearly unbearable most days, but I have no choice but to go about my day like nothing is wrong. All of my teeth that Ihave left have cavities. I've lost atleast 7 teeth. None of them have just fallen out, they crack and crumble and break away. I don't even bother trying to brush them anymore. It hurts and my gums bleed. I made a major mistake of not taking care of them when I was younger. It only snowballed from there. I'm terrified to go to the dentist. I've only been to the er one time for pain. I was so shamed by the Dr it completely ruined any courage I was building up to see a dentist. I am so humiliated and embarrassed. It is taking all I have just to post here. I don't want sympathy, or lectures. I know I'm stupid. Most people always say they would love to go back and change something. I would have taken care of my teeth. I hate myself for it. It hurts every aspect of my life. The pain is becoming so bad I can't barely handle it anymore. It brings me to my knees at times. And I constantly fight back tears. It is hard to even talk at times. Lately I choke on my food. A lot. Because I chew and chew and thinks its good, but its never gets chewed well enough. Please. If you have any ideas what I can do or where to go. Please help me. I live in Minnesota. Anything helps. And please don't shame me. I do that enough myself and get constant reminders from others.

sorry to read about your difficult situation. I hope you the dental issue will get better soon.
I am myself a dentist who treat phobic patients. Even though I am not a fan of sedative drugs, in your case it might be a reasonable solution. It sounds like you need a lot of work done and quickly. Dental treatment under deep sedation (or general anesthesia) will provide you an immediate remedy.
on the longer run: almost everyone need at some in life point a dentist. Even if you don't have any teeth (just dentures) probably a dentist will be needed. Ideally by then you will be able to face the dentist. This website is a great place to start facing this fear. You can find here lots of advice and support.
Hi ttm4200 -

Nobody here is going to shame you! That's not what we do round here - there are lots of people here who have been in a similar position and lots of people who understand exactly what it's like.

As you'll have seen from Dr Daniel's response, a good dentist won't shame you either, or lecture you. Their job is to help you and that is what they will do.

Re where to start, I'm sure you know this, but the first step is to find a sympathetic dentist to take a look and tell you what needs to be done. They may well need to refer you on to somewhere like a dental hospital if you need a general anaesthetic, but the dentist is usually where you start. You could ask around friends and family for recommendations, or if you don't feel comfortable doing that, read reviews online, and try the Dentist Reviews and Recommendations section of this forum - there are a few there for Minnesota, don't know if any of them will be of use to you.

Usually they won't do any treatment on the first appointment, they will just take a look and assess what needs done, tell you what your options are. You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do, this first step is just about getting the information you need so that you know what you are dealing with.

I hope some of this helps! Keep us posted, you will find plenty of support here!
I know exactly what you are going through. I'm 28 and have only been to the dentist once and had never been taught about oral care as a child and by the time I was old enough to know about oral hygiene myself the pain was too unbearable to brush my teeth at all. The one visit I did have with a dentist he treated me like I was a murderer and almost went as far as to refuse to treat me.
i have 3 children now but I don't like to go out, I don't make eye contact with people and look away when I reply to someone's questions and they think I'm being rude.
im sure my husband has seen the state on my teeth by now but he hasn't said anything! The pain is ridiculous! My father passed away when I was 3 of an infection that reached his heart from an infected tooth and now I know at least my back tooth that is broken is very infected and so painful!
Im desperate to go to see someone but I just can't! At this point I know that it's downhill quickly if I don't get something done but I just can't face going! I've thought about medication to be able to get myself in there and even getting drunk ? But I don't drink!
I know the pain and embarrassment you feel and I'm sure you have had people judge you and don't know where to turn! I just wish the two of us could just go together and support each other!