C
Cant_again
Junior member
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2023
- Messages
- 4
- Location
- Europe
Hello.
This will not be a success story, not will it indicate any chance of one happening. If that breaks the rules, then I understand and apologize.
First, I would like to express my appreciation to the creator(s) of the website, for actually including materials that can be used to take care of dental matters myself, under "Dental topics" tab.
While 99% of other websites simply say "go to a dentist", if that was so easy (or possible at all) for us, we wouldn't ask for such help.
This is the only website I found that takes this seriously, and provides self-help and guidance materials that improve my ability to take care of my dental issues myself, to the extent possible. This is a set of difficult to find, actual, and extremely useful data, like The Stephan Curve. This may just literally save a few years of my life.
I am continuing to look for methods to protect these teeth, that are still in relatively good shape. Advice and life hacks from non-dentists is also welcome. I'm OK with them being on the expensive side, as long as they're effective. The only requirement is that I am able to do it myself.
Some of my teeth are way beyond saving, though, and I'm fine with that.
I do not drink alcohol, smoke, or use any psychoactive substances, and I never did in my life. Not even once.
For the less pleasant part, a warning: mentions of suicidal intentions - in section "Life without a dentist." Please do not read it, if You're sensitive.
To say I have a dentophobia, would be a severe understatement. I will not allow anyone, especially a dentist, anywhere near my teeth, and that's not up to discussion.
This story is quite lengthy and exhaustive. I will try to break it into semi-independent sections, that can be skipped.
Personal background.
I live in a post-communist country (from the eastern bloc), and I'm over 30 years old now. I can't share more on that. We have dentists working in a public healthcare (think NHS) and in private healthcare, and I'll refer to them as such (public/private). Private healthcare is vastly superior, but it's expensive, especially the dentistry. My parents were poor, so we usually could not afford a private dentist visit. And public ones... Let's say that they don't care about your comfort or well-being in the slightest. I am still very much a weakling, a manchild scared of any pain, and a crybaby. I admit it, and I'm fine with that. I have no slightest desire to become what society expects from a man. Right now I am able to afford virtually any dentist, but that's too late.
Fillings.
I think I had a filling applied twice in my life, when I was around 9 years old. One of them fell out soon, but the other one last to today (and that tooth is still in a good shape). I remember placing a filling to require three visits, with the first one being absolutely the worst: The dentist placed what I remember was "nerve poison" in my tooth, and within minutes, it started to hurt. A lot. In home, I was crying and screaming from pain for hours, and painkiller pills (if I was given any) did little to help. The public dentist definitely did absolutely nothing to prevent that - I was just expected to tough it out. Remember, I was a child back then, around 9 years old. Weak, defenseless, scared, and already gravely afraid of dentists and pain. On second visit, the poison was removed, and "medicine" (I guess some disinfectant) some placed instead. On third visit, it was replaced with an actual filling. These visits were not nearly as bad, at the cost of the first one.
Deciduous teeth extraction.
Some of my baby teeth had to be extracted, because they were either getting rotten, or refused to fall out on their own. Of course that was not pleasant, but since they were meant to fall out eventually, they were not rooted too hard, and removing them usually was not difficult. Sometimes we were able to afford a private dentist, and he had a wonderful machine, that could spray something and freeze a tooth. I remember this being very quick, almost painless, but costing quite a lot of money (again, we were poor). Last time I visited a dentist (to remove canine milk teeth, which refused to fall out themselves) was over 20 years ago. It was a public one, and I believe he messed up a bit. I think he meant to inject the anesthetic into the gum around the teeth, but he "overshoot" a bit, and hit my actual teeth with the sharp top of the needle. It was painful, but not the worst thing ever. Nothing compared to what comes next.
Removal of permanent teeth.
I was around 10 y.o. when my parents took me to a public dentist, to extract a rotten, permanent molar. This is, beyond any doubt, the most painful memory of my life - even breaking my bone in an elbow was not nearly as bad (!). The dentist was either incompetent, sadistic, or both. I was injected with an anesthetic and told to wait in the hallway for it to take effect. But it never really did in full. Also, the procedure went really badly. She was not able to extract that tooth in one piece, but instead, it broke into like 4 pieces, which she had to drill out individually. That all took well over an hour, and of course, the anesthetic (not very effective to begin with) has severely worn out by then. But she did not care. I was not administered more.
When I wanted her to stop she just told me, that if it's not extracted that way right now, it will have to be removed surgically. Images of scalpel cutting through my gums flooded my mind. Great, what a way to treat a child. Scare them into compliance. I was yelling and crying from pain, but it just continued. My parents were in the room, but did not stop her. They loved me, but the mentality of this country at the time was that it simply has to hurt a lot, and that You're supposed to tough it out, like everyone else. That scarred me mentally for life, and is the main reason, why I will never visit a dentist ever again.
My suspicion is that she used either procaine (Novocaine) - which AFAIK has a half-life of 7.5 minutes - or something even weaker.
Both fillings and this extraction were the most painful experiences in my life - I would literally prefer to let someone break my arm again, rather than get any dental procedure from any dentist.
My suspected resistance to anesthesia / analgesics.
I am not really afraid of thin needles, like ones used to inject anesthetic. Heck, if the purpose is to reduce pain, then stab me all you want, I can take that no problem. But despite me being a weakling with really low pain threshold, I suspect, that I may have some resistance to anesthetics. They never worked that well for me. The area did feel numb, but the pain was still very much present. Around 2 years ago I had a non-emergency surgery to fix a hernia, and I was injected with an anesthetic into the spine (subarachnoid space). My colleague went through the same exact procedure before me, and told me that he could feel no pain during the surgery at all - only some touch or pressure. It was not the case for me - I could definitely still feel some pain, that was sometimes difficult to bear, like if I was continuously stabbed with syringe needles. Of course the personnel, hearing my sounds ("ouch"es) of being in pain (which I couldn't hold in) was convinced that I'm imaging things, and reprimanded me for bothering them. Yeah... I was also supposed to be given some relaxant / sedative before the procedure, but even if I received one, it had no effect whatsoever - I was 100% conscious the entire time, and if given a laptop, I could easily code at that time.
Life without a dentist.
This is the drastic part, You have been warned.
Last time I visited a dentist was over 20 years ago, as described earlier. Some of my teeth, especially molars, decayed to the point that only roots are left. It was painful, most often unbearably, but it was nothing, nothing compared to pain of visiting a dentist. Toughing it out was much preferable to even the thought of having a dental procedure. And still is, although I don't suffer as much nowadays - some teeth have decayed to the point they simply cannot hurt anymore, others are kept in a relatively good shape and do not hurt.
Now I know, what You're thinking - what happens, if one day the pain becomes so bad, that I cannot take it anymore? Surely, I will have no choice but to go.
No, there is another way out for me. I am completely serious and not exaggerating, that if that were to happen, I will take my own life. To me, that option is preferable to a dental procedure, without any doubt. I have no family (in part for that very reason), so no one would miss me too much, or rely on me.
Please do not tell me to get help etc. - I will not, and my mind cannot be changed on that. I am also an antinatalist, and I didn't ask for this darn life that I hate above everything - and especially for these darn teeth. I would be the happiest, if all my teeth fell off naturally. Even if that would hinder my ability to speak or to eat solid foods, it would be a tradeoff I would be willing to make.
I am sometimes thinking, how much of my hatred towards life I can attribute to these experiences.
Inability to brush.
It should come as no surprise, that my gums were in a pretty bad shape. I was told once by a dentist to buy a soft toothbrush. That's fine, except... it was literally impossible to buy one, even in a pharmacy. All they had were hard and medium ones - and they would be too rough for my gums. So, given no options, I just didn't brush my teeth for many years, since last visit. I used alternate methods - rinsing with water and mouthwash, using toothpicks, and sugar-free chewing gum (which I absolutely need to have with me at any point in time). It was just in 2014, when I tried to look for them online. And I finally found one: Swiss ultra-soft ones (Curaprox CS 5460). Immediately fell in love with them, and I'm using them ever since. They're quite expensive, but worth every penny, and more. They also definitely reduced amount of toothache I went through since. Using a toothpaste with Aluminum Lactate also helped my gums a lot.
This will not be a success story, not will it indicate any chance of one happening. If that breaks the rules, then I understand and apologize.
First, I would like to express my appreciation to the creator(s) of the website, for actually including materials that can be used to take care of dental matters myself, under "Dental topics" tab.
While 99% of other websites simply say "go to a dentist", if that was so easy (or possible at all) for us, we wouldn't ask for such help.
This is the only website I found that takes this seriously, and provides self-help and guidance materials that improve my ability to take care of my dental issues myself, to the extent possible. This is a set of difficult to find, actual, and extremely useful data, like The Stephan Curve. This may just literally save a few years of my life.
I am continuing to look for methods to protect these teeth, that are still in relatively good shape. Advice and life hacks from non-dentists is also welcome. I'm OK with them being on the expensive side, as long as they're effective. The only requirement is that I am able to do it myself.
Some of my teeth are way beyond saving, though, and I'm fine with that.
I do not drink alcohol, smoke, or use any psychoactive substances, and I never did in my life. Not even once.
For the less pleasant part, a warning: mentions of suicidal intentions - in section "Life without a dentist." Please do not read it, if You're sensitive.
To say I have a dentophobia, would be a severe understatement. I will not allow anyone, especially a dentist, anywhere near my teeth, and that's not up to discussion.
This story is quite lengthy and exhaustive. I will try to break it into semi-independent sections, that can be skipped.
Personal background.
I live in a post-communist country (from the eastern bloc), and I'm over 30 years old now. I can't share more on that. We have dentists working in a public healthcare (think NHS) and in private healthcare, and I'll refer to them as such (public/private). Private healthcare is vastly superior, but it's expensive, especially the dentistry. My parents were poor, so we usually could not afford a private dentist visit. And public ones... Let's say that they don't care about your comfort or well-being in the slightest. I am still very much a weakling, a manchild scared of any pain, and a crybaby. I admit it, and I'm fine with that. I have no slightest desire to become what society expects from a man. Right now I am able to afford virtually any dentist, but that's too late.
Fillings.
I think I had a filling applied twice in my life, when I was around 9 years old. One of them fell out soon, but the other one last to today (and that tooth is still in a good shape). I remember placing a filling to require three visits, with the first one being absolutely the worst: The dentist placed what I remember was "nerve poison" in my tooth, and within minutes, it started to hurt. A lot. In home, I was crying and screaming from pain for hours, and painkiller pills (if I was given any) did little to help. The public dentist definitely did absolutely nothing to prevent that - I was just expected to tough it out. Remember, I was a child back then, around 9 years old. Weak, defenseless, scared, and already gravely afraid of dentists and pain. On second visit, the poison was removed, and "medicine" (I guess some disinfectant) some placed instead. On third visit, it was replaced with an actual filling. These visits were not nearly as bad, at the cost of the first one.
Deciduous teeth extraction.
Some of my baby teeth had to be extracted, because they were either getting rotten, or refused to fall out on their own. Of course that was not pleasant, but since they were meant to fall out eventually, they were not rooted too hard, and removing them usually was not difficult. Sometimes we were able to afford a private dentist, and he had a wonderful machine, that could spray something and freeze a tooth. I remember this being very quick, almost painless, but costing quite a lot of money (again, we were poor). Last time I visited a dentist (to remove canine milk teeth, which refused to fall out themselves) was over 20 years ago. It was a public one, and I believe he messed up a bit. I think he meant to inject the anesthetic into the gum around the teeth, but he "overshoot" a bit, and hit my actual teeth with the sharp top of the needle. It was painful, but not the worst thing ever. Nothing compared to what comes next.
Removal of permanent teeth.
I was around 10 y.o. when my parents took me to a public dentist, to extract a rotten, permanent molar. This is, beyond any doubt, the most painful memory of my life - even breaking my bone in an elbow was not nearly as bad (!). The dentist was either incompetent, sadistic, or both. I was injected with an anesthetic and told to wait in the hallway for it to take effect. But it never really did in full. Also, the procedure went really badly. She was not able to extract that tooth in one piece, but instead, it broke into like 4 pieces, which she had to drill out individually. That all took well over an hour, and of course, the anesthetic (not very effective to begin with) has severely worn out by then. But she did not care. I was not administered more.
When I wanted her to stop she just told me, that if it's not extracted that way right now, it will have to be removed surgically. Images of scalpel cutting through my gums flooded my mind. Great, what a way to treat a child. Scare them into compliance. I was yelling and crying from pain, but it just continued. My parents were in the room, but did not stop her. They loved me, but the mentality of this country at the time was that it simply has to hurt a lot, and that You're supposed to tough it out, like everyone else. That scarred me mentally for life, and is the main reason, why I will never visit a dentist ever again.
My suspicion is that she used either procaine (Novocaine) - which AFAIK has a half-life of 7.5 minutes - or something even weaker.
Both fillings and this extraction were the most painful experiences in my life - I would literally prefer to let someone break my arm again, rather than get any dental procedure from any dentist.
My suspected resistance to anesthesia / analgesics.
I am not really afraid of thin needles, like ones used to inject anesthetic. Heck, if the purpose is to reduce pain, then stab me all you want, I can take that no problem. But despite me being a weakling with really low pain threshold, I suspect, that I may have some resistance to anesthetics. They never worked that well for me. The area did feel numb, but the pain was still very much present. Around 2 years ago I had a non-emergency surgery to fix a hernia, and I was injected with an anesthetic into the spine (subarachnoid space). My colleague went through the same exact procedure before me, and told me that he could feel no pain during the surgery at all - only some touch or pressure. It was not the case for me - I could definitely still feel some pain, that was sometimes difficult to bear, like if I was continuously stabbed with syringe needles. Of course the personnel, hearing my sounds ("ouch"es) of being in pain (which I couldn't hold in) was convinced that I'm imaging things, and reprimanded me for bothering them. Yeah... I was also supposed to be given some relaxant / sedative before the procedure, but even if I received one, it had no effect whatsoever - I was 100% conscious the entire time, and if given a laptop, I could easily code at that time.
Life without a dentist.
This is the drastic part, You have been warned.
Last time I visited a dentist was over 20 years ago, as described earlier. Some of my teeth, especially molars, decayed to the point that only roots are left. It was painful, most often unbearably, but it was nothing, nothing compared to pain of visiting a dentist. Toughing it out was much preferable to even the thought of having a dental procedure. And still is, although I don't suffer as much nowadays - some teeth have decayed to the point they simply cannot hurt anymore, others are kept in a relatively good shape and do not hurt.
Now I know, what You're thinking - what happens, if one day the pain becomes so bad, that I cannot take it anymore? Surely, I will have no choice but to go.
No, there is another way out for me. I am completely serious and not exaggerating, that if that were to happen, I will take my own life. To me, that option is preferable to a dental procedure, without any doubt. I have no family (in part for that very reason), so no one would miss me too much, or rely on me.
Please do not tell me to get help etc. - I will not, and my mind cannot be changed on that. I am also an antinatalist, and I didn't ask for this darn life that I hate above everything - and especially for these darn teeth. I would be the happiest, if all my teeth fell off naturally. Even if that would hinder my ability to speak or to eat solid foods, it would be a tradeoff I would be willing to make.
I am sometimes thinking, how much of my hatred towards life I can attribute to these experiences.
Inability to brush.
It should come as no surprise, that my gums were in a pretty bad shape. I was told once by a dentist to buy a soft toothbrush. That's fine, except... it was literally impossible to buy one, even in a pharmacy. All they had were hard and medium ones - and they would be too rough for my gums. So, given no options, I just didn't brush my teeth for many years, since last visit. I used alternate methods - rinsing with water and mouthwash, using toothpicks, and sugar-free chewing gum (which I absolutely need to have with me at any point in time). It was just in 2014, when I tried to look for them online. And I finally found one: Swiss ultra-soft ones (Curaprox CS 5460). Immediately fell in love with them, and I'm using them ever since. They're quite expensive, but worth every penny, and more. They also definitely reduced amount of toothache I went through since. Using a toothpaste with Aluminum Lactate also helped my gums a lot.
im so sorry
