A Little Bit Of Light Entertainment

[Andria]

Hi, was just browsing on the internet, coz there's nothing exciting on tv to watch and came across some jokes about teeth.

I have picked out some of the better ones and cleanest ones to share:

"I came to make an appointment with the dentist" - said the man to the receptionist.
"I'm sorry sir" - she replied - "he's out right now."
"Thank you" -interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient - "when will he be out again?"

Why are false teeth like stars?
Because they come out at night

What do you call an old dentist?
A bit long in the tooth

What did the vampire call his false teeth?
A new fangled device

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realised that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said "I forgot my teeth".
The man said "no problem" with that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth "try these" he said.
The speaker tried them "too loose".
The man said "I have another pair try these"
The speaker tried them "too tight".
The man was not taken back at all. He then said "i have one more pair of false teeth try them".
The speaker said "They fit perfectly" with that he ate his meal and gave his address.
After the dinner was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him.
"I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist".
The man replied, "I'm not a dentist I'm the local Undertaker".

A lady goes to the dentist. In the chair the dentist notices a little brown spot on one of her teeth. "Aha, I'll have to drill this one out" says the dentist.
"Oh no I'd rather have a child!!!" cries the lady. "In that case let me adjust the chair first" replies the dentist.

Hope i havn't offended anyone, feel free to add your own jokes.
Take care
x

 

[vicki]

LOL! Keep 'em coming... I'm sure people would enjoy more light entertainment!

 

[Andria]

thanks, i'll keep a look out for somemore, they do say laughter is the best form of medicine and we all need cheered up now and again.

 

[Andria]

Here's a few more:

Patient: "Doctor I am very nervous, you know this is my first extraction".
Young Dentist:"Don't worry, it's my first extraction too".

Dentist:"There goes the only woman I ever loved".
Assistant:"Why don't you marry her?"
Dentist:"I can't afford to. She's my best patient".

When a new dentist set up in a small town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the latest kind of Painless dentist. But a local lad quickly disputed this. "He's a fake!" he told his mates. "He's not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him - and he yelled like anyone else".

Young Charlie to the dentist's sexy chairside assistant "Aha ! Are you the lady orthodontist?". The lady replied "No - but i'll straighten anyone's teeth".

A guy and a girl met at a bar.
They started getting along really well and they decide to go to the girls place for a drink.
A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands.
He then took off his socks and washed his hands.
The girl looked at him and said "You must be a dentist".
Flabbergasted the guy responded, "Why yes. Thats amazing. How did you determine that?"
The woman replied "Easy.....you keep washing your hands".
Well one thing led to another and they migrated to the bed. Things became more and more passionate and ......(sip)
After their passionate deed was done the woman replied "You must be a Great Dentist"
The guy was very supprised and said "YES YES I SURE AM A GREAT DENTISt......You amaze me how did you know that".
His lover said "thats easy I didn't feel a thing"

Young lady to father - "Daddy when I grow up shall I become a heart doctor or a tooth doctor".
"Dentist"
"Why father?"
"We have only one heart but 32 teeth".

Dentists can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and they say, "I wish you'd come to me sooner".

A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled.
"Now young man" asked the dentist, "What kind of filling would you like for that tooth?".
"CHOCOLATE please", replied the youngster.

Anyone know the six most frightening words in the world??
The dentist will see you now



Good night guys
x

 

[Andria]

Hi peeps

Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures.
Patient: Okay, doc, but don't forget to send the bill to the other man.



Patient to Dentist:"How much to get my teeth straightened?"
"Twenty thousand bucks"
Patient heads for the door.
Dentist to Patient:"Where are you going?"
"To a plastic surgeon to get my mouth bent"



A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friend with him. While he's talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off.
As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandmother, "Thanks for the peanuts".
She says "Yeah since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off them"



"Toothaches always start on Friday night right before the weekend when the Dental Office will be closed".



A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill.
"I'm shocked!" she complained.
"This is three times what you normally charge".
"Yes I know" said the dentist,
"But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other patients"

 

[Andria]

Patient:
"do you always extract teeth painlessly"
Dentist
"Not always, the other day i disloated my wrist".


What did the dentist say to the golfer?
You have a hole in one


What time do most people go to the dentist?
at tooth-hurty (2:30).


What does the dentist of the year get?
A little plaque


What do you call a gay dentist?
a tooth fairy


"An irish man put his false teeth in backwards and ate himself"


Why did the old lady cover her mouth when she sneezed?
To catch her false teeth.

 

[Parsnip]

Ha ha these are so funny! - well done!

My poor patients tomorrow! It'll be joke-tastic in the surgey - at least my nurse will get some variety from my usual banter. Thankyou!

 

[zamboni_rdr]

Thank you!!!

 

[Andria]

Hi, I'm off in search of more jokes and silly anecdoted about teeth, as soon as i find some i'll post.

Keep smiling

 

[Clairwitch]

I love the jokes! Lol... So true!!!