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A Sad Sorry, from a Stupid Man



Junior member
Jan 26, 2016
Ok, let’s get the sad story out there, I haven’t been to the dentist in 25years give or take, am now 35 and let’s just say with my upbringing that looking after my teeth wasn’t top of the list and would offend not get brushed at all (the shame of even writing that down hurts).
So here I am now with yellow teeth and googling full teeth removal and impants and the stress is killing me.
I do now look after my teeth I brush and floss once a week, I also use mouth wash at dinner.
When I first started to try to look after them I would spit blood, but no longer do, I used Gengigel Gel and Corsodyl and switch between different Listerine (gum one and then all in one one)
But I feel the damage of my youth and own stupided it is to little to late.
My back right Molar broken off about 6 years ago and is slowly rotting away, I feel bit of tooth and a lot of gum with my tongue.
My back left molar has a hole in it big enough to stick tip of small finger in it, so that’s another one that will have to go, and when rubbing gel in the other month, a bottom top has a large horizontal crack in it next to the gum line and when looking at the tooth looks dead, just no colour in it at all, so that would be 3 gone.
Those are just the ones I know about, I would expect all the other to have large decay in them that can’t be seen without an xray.
I booked in to see a dentist in Bolton just before xmas and my girlfriend is being really helpful to try and get me sorted.
I cancelled it 3 days after booking the appointment 10% as I didn’t want a bad xmas and 90% after looking at the cost.
I am on a NHS waiting list now, and chased them up today to see if was moving forward. I just know after years of not brushing/flossing etc that I have let myself down. I might upload a picture if I was brave enough so you can see what am living with.
Is there anyway to tell if a tooth is worth saving, I never get tooth aches even when I lost the back molar, or may be it’s because I have killed the teeth. If I could tell 12 year old me what 5 mins a day would save in future years, but I can’t and I know that I need to face this.
Until I get that call, I will carry on with this last line of defence and try and save and brighten my pearly yellows.
Hey Boston,

I'm awaiting my first check up too with equal nerves and that feeling of wishing you could go back in time and give yourself a shake! But what is done is done and it's amazing that you have actually been chasing up getting an appointment. Don't really have much to add as I am at the beginning of my journey myself but here for moral support. The quote "When you're hitting a wall, focus on one brick" is helpful to me at the moment, one step at a time. Things can only get better from here!
First of all, you are not stupid - taking that first step is really hard, and it is a really brave thing to do.

Try not to beat yourself up too much about the past - it is what it is, and now you can focus on fixing things and changing things from now on.

Try not to think too much about what you may or may not need done and thinking of worst-case scenarios - it will just drive you insane and overwhelm you. I know this is easier said than done - I did this all the time when I was starting my journey (and STILL do this!). A lot of times, things are worse off in our heads than they actually are, so you may find that things aren't as bad as you think they were (this was the case for me).

Dentists will try to save most teeth unless they are REALLY hopeless - you would be surprised at what they can save. I had teeth that needed to go, but had another that I thought would need to go, but I had the option to save.

Just take things one step at a time. Best wishes to you :)
Thanks for that, if I had the money I would pay for private but after seeing some of the prices it isn't a option at the min. 8 weeks and counting waiting to get on NHS but told it could be months.

I am fearing the worse and then any good news will be a bonus. I been looking at getting stuff done in Europe thats how crap I feel at the moment, my other half says there not as bad as I think but not seen the teeth at the back and I think she is trying to be nice.

I will keep people updated if I get to see a dentist, but getting the appointment is the first step, going to see them is another massive one.

I can't believe am about to do this but I guess I need to hear the honest truth from people, here are my teeth, please be honest people, I know they are bad



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I honestly don't see anything wrong with your front teeth:) (I can't see the back teeth ) If you think they aren't white enough you can have them whitened.
They have got better (I think) now am looking after them, electric tooth brush 2 mins minimum twice a day, and mouth wash at different times to stop them cancelling each other.

Do you think thats the best way, as never sure if to use mouth wash right after brushing,

Was thinking of getting some whitening strips but not sure if they do anything.

You not think the gaps in the bottom are something to worry about
I was about the same. My parents never took me to a dentist. They were old school. You only went if there was pain. Of course, they were both in dentures so in my mind, going to a dentist would just be a scary thing. So I never went. Until I was in my mid to late 40's. I was lucky with good teeth genes--sort of. My teeth never looked bad. But one day while biting into Heath Bar I broke a tooth. ONE YOU COULD SEE. So I went and had it filled. I was like, WOW! NO BIGGIE! I CAN DO THIS! So I went back to get 2 more filled and the word ROOT CANAL was said to me. I doubled up and hyperventilated in the chair. This dentist & her staff didn't really know what to do with me? i'd taken my daughter there for years, all the while petrified of a dentist. I didn't want my daughter to be, though. Anyway, I decided to have the tooth pulled instead because it was way in the back and you can't see it anyway. That was with an oral surgeon. Three weeks of anxiety before I went and it turned out to be next to nothing. Never any pain before or after.

But then I knew I had to address the rest of my mouth before things got to that point.

I went to see a dentist that I knew since I was a kid. He was my uncle's best friend. Got up the guts to have the full exam and find out what I needed-----which was a ton of fillings and 2 wisdom teeth out (there were barely there anymore). I went once a week for over 3 months and got everything caught up. Never felt any pain once. Not during or after. So glad I did that. And I go faithfully every 6 months for cleanings and checkups. Doing that sort of desensitized me from the fear. Every time I went and never felt pain, the less scared I got.

I cannot tell you how good it felt to have that dental fear monkey off my back!

I have an appt today because I have a toothache. I called yesterday and the the appt today. Yes, I'm a little nervous that I'm going hear the words ROOT CANAL, but if that's what it is, so be it. I will never live in pain again. (Those wisdom teeth i had aggravated me for 20 years on & off.) I stockpiled antibiotics when they would flare up. I would tell people I just had a bad sinus headache. I lied a lot when it came to teeth.

Your teeth don't look bad at all---so you are probably like me--luck in the genes department. But there is stuff you can't see. I'm here if you want to talk.
Oh, I have a SoniCare elec toothbrush recommended by my dentist and also the Purple Listerine was recommended.
Thanks for the reply, you do seem to be in the same boat as me, think as I lived with my Dad he never really made us do anything so brushing etc. was just not drummed in to me, but I know this is also as much my fault if not more.
I have chased up the NHS one again on Friday but seem like more and more likely will have to go the private route for me. I have some money and would be willing to spend to get myself sorted but the prices I have seen are thinking even 5k won’t go very far.
I think the picture looks better than they are, they are very yellow and I don’t think can be whitened as think is the enamel has been attacked from me not brushing.
If the dentist came back and said I need 8 filling 2 Route and a Crown, I would just say yup crack on and get it sorted, but the shame is stopping me, at least I opened up to my girlfriend about the issue I guess the looking in to space and not sleeping is being picked up on.
I will try and get a picture of the cracked tooth tonight, and then you people can see how bad I have let them get.
On wards and upwards hopefully.
Onwards and upwards is the only way to go! I've always used mouthwash right after brushing my teeth and tongue! And I don't think the gaps are anything serious. But that is for a dentist to decide:)) But your teeth look fine.
Just a quick update, I have got a private appointment on Friday (really want to cancel)

Only £18 for a clean/xrays and then a plan which I can go with it possible.

Now today I have also got a NHS dentist, Still going with the private one as I need to be know what I needs doing.

Now what would people do, The charge for filling and extraction at private look ok, but once you look at root canal/crowns the private one is off the scale.

Am just guessing at this stage at what to do as I expecting to be told I need the lot pulling, my teeth are very yellow, I am not in pain and only had tooth ache once when the hole appeared in my very back top molar and I wanted to rip the b**tard out.

at what point is a tooth unsavable?
In my experience a dentist will try to save a tooth rather than extraction. They will give you the options when it is curtains for the tooth (even if you are blubbering by this point as I was recently) and then leave it for you to decide. If a dentist just said 'let's just whip it out' (no pun intended) without discussing the options with you first I would be worried as dentistry should never involve cavalier attitudes!

This is what happened when my tooth couldn't be saved. I had an 18 year old root canal molar recently become a problem with heat sensitivity. The x ray and ct scan showed a shadow under the tooth and my heart sank as I knew that in all probability that some tough decisons might have to be made at some point. I knew Dental Dignitas for that tooth might be an option. But myself and my normal dentist decided to try to save it.

So after two root canal re-treatments (three hours in total and exhausting but no pain) the endodontist told me that the blockage was immoveable. So at this point she brought up extraction and happiliy (for her) introduced the prospect of an implant. It is standard now to mention an implant even if you can barely buy the weekly shop. Dental implants are the boob jobs of the contemporary age. I digress...

Like you I have been thrown into the NHS system and face a 13 week wait. I have not received my referral yet so it may be even longer. So I decided due to my symptoms that I would go private. I have dipped into my dwindling ISA (brought to its knees by previous dental costs) and I am booked in to a private dentist. I've had two root retreatments (one successful and one not) on two separate teeth in two years and both were not cheap.

Do what you can with the money you have is all I can suggest.

Good luck with your teeth and keep persevering with the treatment.​