• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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Junior member
Feb 24, 2023
I’m having the worst anxiety of my life. I have a broken tooth at the gum line that caused an abscess that I decided to ignore for years due to no pain. My bottom wisdom teeth are only partially grown and so I thought maybe they were getting infected when my lower jaw it hurt on one side same as the abscess. Of course than I read online that it’s probably the infection spreading so I started anabiotic’s immediately. Called the dentist to make an appointment I go in on Monday and I’m just so scared of what they’re actually going to have to do. My gum has been super swollen for years. None of my other teeth seem affected near that one but with so much time of having it like that I’m scared it just not a simple solution. Has anyone had this?
@Karaloo I had a painless abscess that I drained pus from every day for about a year. It was caused by a loose, partially attatched retained baby tooth, with old no longer sealed fillings. Antibiotics prescribed by a dentist cleared my infection, it seemed. Later on my wisdom tooth on that side got infected, and I got both the tooth that had had the abcess and the wisdom tooth extracted. I have gone on to replace the tooth that had the abscess with a dental implant.
I can’t imagine trying to drain it myself lol seems like I would make a bigger infection. Thank you for the response! I can’t recall how long I’ve had it which makes it worse but it’s definitely never drained itself to my knowledge. I’m hoping when I go in on Monday they’ll do the procedure and not make me wait in anxiety all over again. I know I have a list of fixings but this definitely needs to be addressed!! I’m soooo scared. Of course everyone I can confide in, just doesn’t get my anxiety. All with the “you’ll be fine” attitude when I know it’s going to be bad.
I am sure it is best to go to a dentist and deal with it rather than draining it oneself. I shouldn't have done what I did, and wish I had gotten it taken care of sooner but my choices were affected by my dental phobia, which made me afraid to tell a dentist for long time. I am glad you are going in on Monday and hope you can get treated soon. I know how it feels to be scared to go in and scared by dental problems and no one understands. No one I talk to about it in real life understands about it at all, I have only found understanding here on this forum. People I have tried to talk to about this IRL tell me that I should just be in control of how I feel, or I should be able to think and feel exactly the way that I want about this, and just be able to decide it's all great and somehow I will feel great and my fear and anxiety will somehow disappear just like magic. They seem bewildered that I can't just decide I feel fine, and don't seem to understand my explanations. I think that it's almost impossible to understand this if you haven't been there yourself. I find posting on here and talking to likeminded people on here makes me feel a lot better, I hope you will too!
Are you having more problems now? Or just hear to help me smile?! I went down the google rabbit hole and gave myself a panic attack. I hadn’t had one in so many years :( Something’s are reassuring and others make me sick to my stomach to read and learn. I wish I could take a Xanax or something related to help me relax but I think I have to face my fears sober haha.
I still have some dental problems, a bad bite which is damaging my teeth, with a possible bad prognosis, but no problems related to the abscess, infections, or cavities any more, and I still have dental fear/phobia, though less than in the past. I am no longer having panic attacks over my dental issues, but I did, and I am sorry you had one. I have had a crazy year of dental problems (17 visits within the last 12 months) and a lot of the worst stuff is past me, for now. I am here on the site both to support people and get support, I still need it. I find it is best for me to stop using google at some point, it's only worthwhile to a point, and to try and talk to a dentist and get advice or get your questions answered. I use the "ask a dentist" forum on here. I have also used Quora, Dentistry Forums, which I found on a page of this site that I will link to in here, and an app called Denteractive where you can pay $10 to instantly chat with a dentist, and you can message them pictures, etc. It is really rough feeling anxious and panicky, I know, I am sorry your are going through that. I am a person who is unwilling to take any mind altering medication so that has never been an option for me. I ended up doing a lot of yoga, and using the 5,4,3,2,1 coping method and box breathing to calm down. Doesn't make me feel perfect but makes me feel better. This is my favorite box breathing video, I find this one really makes me feel a lot better https://player.vimeo.com/video/94253607. I will put in a link to the page of this site that has information about relaxation techniques too, this was very useful to me, maybe it will be for you too.
I appreciate you attaching the link. I will take the time to watch it & work on my breathing. I wish there was a local support group so we could all make the visit together! Ha! But this page and you are helping some of my fears. I know tomorrow I’ll be a wreck and probably won’t sleep well. Now I’m sitting here wondering about being sedated. I’d like to try to gas first since I never have but I read (on google) that if you wanted an iv sedation that you can’t eat or drink after midnight. So I feel like if I did want that option they probably wouldn’t do it Monday since it wasn’t planned ahead of time? I had an extraction before & didn’t feel a thing but I was in pain so it felt 100% better as soon as it was pulled. This tooth has broke, and the gum has swollen over so all you can see it the small opening in my gum line. Why did I do this to myself?!
A dental phobics group that could meet in person and go to appointments together would be amazing! I feel like sedation is probably something that has to be planned ahead of time, like you said. I have had 5 extractions with local anesthesia only and they weren't painful, just like pressure and pulling sensations, maybe like a feeling of slight tingling for the most intense one (a partial bony extraction of impacted wisdom tooth). Here is something you might find interesting, apparantly the kind of tooth situation you have is particularly easy to extract https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/forum/threads/removing-teeth-broken-at-the-gumline.13139/
One thing that helps me worrying about upcoming appointments during the days running up to them is thinking that for me it comes as a relief to get it over with, and to get clear information, so I can stop worrying abut different scenarios. Maybe that might work for you, too.
Ok that link was the best thing I’ve read. Thank you soooo much! Definitely makes me feel a bit better about the situation. I’m taking some anxiety pills (natural supplements) and I feel like they are definitely helping me through the day to relax more than normal. You can search for it on Amazon if you are interested: Life Seasons - Anxie-T - Herbal Stress Relief Supplement to Relax and Calm Mind - Contains Ashwagandha, Kava Kava, GABA, L-Theanine - 60 Capsules

Anyway, I’ll keep you posted on what happens tomorrow!!! Let me know if I can be of any help to you. When I first found out I had scoliosis at 19 I found a pen pal and it helped so much knowing I wasn’t alone. Of course I wish I had someone local! But thank you again for the responses and links. You’re an angel.
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Great, I am glad that was useful for you! I thought it might be, since it sounded like what you have. Thanks for letting me know about that supplement. I'm glad you thought of amino acid and herbal anxiety supplements, I think they work too. Last year during my worst times of anxiety over my dental stuff I was taking amino acids that I learned about from a website called optimistminds.com and Kava Kava as separate pills, so an all in one option sounds good. Yes please let me know what happens tomorrow, I hope it goes as best as possible! I'm really glad I was able to be helpful to you! I think it is so great to be able to talk to like minded people about this stuff. I am sure, knowing me, the time will come where I could really use your help. Since you followed me, you will know when I post on here, and I followed you back, so I will know if you post too. You can private message me too if you want. I am actually going to the dentist on Wednesday to show him that my crown I got last month is a different color than my other teeth and to try and figure out what is going on with that, and what to do about that, and am a bit stressed now, with huge urge for pacing and some insomnia, and worrying about it all the time. I had felt it wasn't a serious enough situation to post about on here, but might escalate, since you reminded me about the amino acids I am going to bring those back out and start them again today, thanks for reminding me about that. Good luck on Monday and I will look out for your update!
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Ok guess what?! No abscess…she said it was just bone. But, I did get the broken off tooth extracted and it didn’t hurt at all (besides the numbing shots) so yay!!!! It took a while in my opinion. They did a bone graft too. What a relief. Still numb, hoping for no pain. Thanks so much for all of your help!!!!
Great! So glad to hear that worked out well and was able to be taken care of on the spot! I'm really happy for you!
Thank you so much! Hope your appointment goes well on Wednesday.