Absolutely petrified beyond belief :(

[rnb972]

Okay so I'm 19, nearly 20! Not a very reasonable age to be this scared of the dentist, I know! Basically, I know I don't have good teeth, I've known for a while, when I last went to the dentist they told me I needed a few fillings, I can't remember how many but having had fillings before I just couldn't stand the thought and I never went back to my appointments. I knew the day would come when something happened to one of my teeth and today it came, my tooth second to the back broke, not the first time however, I remember the same thing happening to my baby tooth when I was little, I think it got taken out. Ouch. Anyway, I know my teeth aren't good because I have little holes in them and I know now that this one thats just broken needs to be seen to but the problem is, I am absolutely petrified like no words can describe, it has never been this bad but now there's no way in hell that I can step into a dental surgery knowing that they have to see me. Even that little hook thing scares me *shivers*. Basically I'm just looking for a bit of support. I've called emergency dentists and stuff but even after doing that I don't think I can go and its not just the fixing my tooth and the fillings I'm worried about, its the checkup before it as well!!

Please try to put my mind at rest I've been in tears since it broke!

 

[robotguy]

Hi, you are among friends here. For whatever reason we all fear the dentist and just like you we have put off seeking help even though we know we should.

I too hate the little pick that is used during the initial exam, I had never had an exam when that little thing had not hurt me, although I now believe it was the inept use of it by my childhood dentist that caused most of that. I had a lot of anexiety therapy to get me in the door of the dentist, but I still couldn't cope with the metal pick. I only agreed to an exam if it was a visual inspection only, absolutly no touching with tools. Heck you don't need to prod my broken and decayed teeth to see if they needed work, it was obvious.

Another big fear was the shame of being judged, but I worked through that by only allowing my dentist to see my teeth in a mirror rather than laying under them in the chair, this was much less judgemental and all under my control and speed.

I am finally getting the treatment I put off for far too many years, its not been an easy or quick journey, and I'm nowhere near finishing it yet, but I can get there and so can you.

Emergency dentist are just that, emergency work to get you out of pain. What you need is to build up trust with a regular dentist to deal with your fears long term. I am lucky that I've found a dentist I like at only my second attempt, it has really helped me cope as she is allowing me the time to build up trust with her to get through the treatments I need. If you don't like the first dentist you visit then move on to another. Just make the initial appointment for a chat only to see if you like them, don't feel under pressure to be examined straight away. Let the dentist know your fears and only move on to letting them look in your mouth when you are ready.

You can survive with a broken tooth for a while, I managed years, but it is something that does need to be sorted. Make this year the one where you decide to make your mouth healty again for you.

 

[rnb972]

Hi robotguy, thank you so much for your reply. Funnily enough while i was online here earlier, yours was the story i chose to read! I read your whole journal from start to finish just to sort of go on that journey with you and feel what you were feeling. Its funny because if you don't feel this way, the way that we do..you find it hard to understand, like its not really a logical fear to others, is it? I'm hoping i can cope with this tooth a little longer and also wondering if a trip to the doctor would be worth while to get something for anxiety or would they be able to refer me to some kind of therapy for this?

 

[Stress Doc]

Hi

There is no such thing as too young for dental phobia, it is truly an equal opportunity employer.

The fear is like a monster that feeds on hopeless and helpless. This is its favorite food. It works overtime to convince you that it is impossible for you to handle what you need to face. The longer you avoid the issue, the stronger the fear becomes.

You are very young so I doubt your teeth are as bad as you think. Dentistry is amazing and almost all teeth can be saved. However, the earlier you deal with it, the less likely the teeth will get worse. Left alone they will not get better.

You are looking at the whole picture and assuming you are beyond hope and the treatment will be overwhelming. Never, look at the whole thing at once. You do this like eating an elephant, one bite at a time.

You can deal with anything if you break it in small enough pieces. Take one bite at a time and move on. If you anxiety is very high your dentist or doctor can prescribe an anti anxiety medication like Ativan to calm you down so you can take the next bite.

The more "bites" you take the more convinced you become and believe you can deal with this, which you can.

This calls for action on your part. Avoiding this will make the fear worse. Believe in yourself and take action.

You can do this because you are stronger than you believe.

Blessings

 

[robotguy]

My doctor did offer me some sedatives to help me get to the dentist, but I was lucky to be referred to an anxiety therapist, by the dental surgery my wife inquired at, so I didn't need to take up his offer.

I throughly recommend anxiety therapy if you can find some, it has certainly changed my way of thinking and I now know the root cause of why I hated the dentist so much, and it turned out to be a completely different reason to what I originally believed it was, everything else turned out to be a symptom of the root cause.

By all means ask your doctor for help, you never know what they can offer you. You can see it as another positive step to getting help.

 

[rnb972]

Thanks again robotguy, I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor at home not at uni where i am now for next friday, i'm rubbish with doctors i don't like so i'm going to see a specific one! I will let you know how i get on when i see her. I'm actually hoping that she will be able to refer me for some anxiety therapy.

Also Stress Doc, thanks for your reply too, I am going to be taking very very VERY small bites! But hopefully i will get there, i know i've needed to this for a long time and i am willing to try now.

 

[CAG]

Hi rnb972

I too worry about the state of my teeth, they're pretty bad, and my dentist is very straight to the point. On one visit, after I hadn't been for about 3 years my dentist exclaimed: 'Oh my, your teeth are terrible!' - it was great for morale, but I somehow stopped myself from making his teeth terrible. But ye, he wasn't lying, I needed multiple fillings, 2 extractions and threatened with future crowns.

Thing is I got it sorted, the worry is normal, and even if your dentist is anywere near as rude as mine it is definitely worth going.

The worry is building for me now with a loose filling that means I'll probably need a crown. I know the worry is unjustified, but that's what I do best. Your not alone.

 

[drummerswife]

Hi MB972
I have to second what Stress Doc said. Like most everyone here, my terror was so overwhelming, I couldnt even talk about dentist. Even the thought of it was enough to panic me. So I avoided it for years until just this past year when my husband more or less insisted I go after he discovered I had two broken teeth that had been that way for 2+years.
You will find the story of my dental journey here along with those of many others.
I can honestly tell you that the ony way I have been able to shrink my fear is to look it right in the face as terrifying an idea as that is. And I have had some excellent help from Dr. Katy, my wonderful dentist, Stress Doc, the people here, and some really good drugs.
You can do this and when you do you will be amazed at how strong you really are. And you will feel so much better about yourself, believe me.
Blessings to you