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ABSOLUTELY terrified and ashamed.



Junior member
Dec 1, 2019

even this is hard for me to do. When it comes to my teeth.... talking about them, showing, talking... anything of the sort im finding some way to hide them because I am so ashamed.

my teeth are in a horrible way. Rotting teeth, a lot down to the gum line and rotted, mostly missing front tooth, not much left of the other. It’s just horrendous. I haven’t been to the dentist in YEARS... I’ve had a lot of toothache or infections where I should of gone to the dentist but I couldn’t bring myself to go and I would just take antibiotics and then leave it. So my teeth are all my own fault and I know that. Bare in mind this all stems from a few very bad experiences at the dentist growing up and my fear just grew and grew. Even as a child there was times I’d go with my mother but before being called up to see the dentist I would lock myself in the waiting room toilet and cry.

anyways fast forward to now. I am currently 22 weeks pregnant with my first ever pregnancy and child and think I have an infection. It feels like it... I’ve had them before so I’m sure. Because I’m also scared of passing infection or anything to my child another reason i am posting For the past 48 hours I have been in a stupid amount of pain to the point I have been pacing, crying, getting angry not being able to sleep or lay down because of the blood rushing to my head. I have had the courage so far to call and get an emergency dentist appointment which is in around 3 hours from now. I am absolutely terrified but deep down I know it has to be done but I just don’t know what to expect.

I want the pain to go away so bad and I want to sort myself out so I don’t have to suffer and have my teeth the way they look and feel but the process of getting there and being judged by a dentist by how bad my teeth are really do make me panic and ashamed. Sorry this is long. I just feel alone and confused as my friends and family just say. “Aww you will be okay. It’s not a big deal” which isn’t much help! :(
You took the first right step by posting here.

Please call 211 (or your local non emergency number) and tell them what you told us.
Hello and welcome to DFC.
Your concern for your health and the health of your unborn child are valid. If you do have an active infection, it is unlikely that any actual treatment will be carried out today. I know that in most cases, a dentist will first prescribe antibiotics to take and then do whatever restorative work is needed once the medication has had a chance to work. Dental phobia often stems from traumatic childhood experiences so you are definitely not alone in your feelings. I believe I am in a different time zone from you so I am not sure if you have made it to the emergency dentist yet or not. I do hope that you find the courage to go. Most dentists really are in the business of helping people and will not judge you. Please let us know how you get on. I am with you in spirit.

So glad you got up great courage to make the appt and go in and write here on DFC. It is a huge step in taking care of yourself and your baby! Not an easy one .

My dentist is an emergency dentist and I think he is the least judgemental dentist I've seen in my life! He has seen it all and his absolute passion is to help people get out of dental pain and does it in an very kind and gentle way. This is my prayer and wish for you that the emergency dentist you see will be the same way!!

Please let us know how it goes!!

I wish you well. I also hope you keep us posted. And well done for phoning, it really is not easy. Maybe by posting here, you don't have to feel completely alone in this. Please try not to feel the shame too much. It happens. You won't get judged here and I'm sure any dentist worth their salt is only concerned about you. Take care of yourself, you deserve it. Best of luck!
Hi there! It's been so long since I posted anything. I have to tell you I was once in your exact shoes. I also have horrible teeth feel very much the same. As a matter of fact I am currently trying to find the courage to go have 5 teeth removed.

3 years ago I was pregnant with my first. A tooth got infected about halfway through. What got me through was the thought I am doing this for my child. Please know you are not alone it happens and there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Pregnancy is filled with worries as it is with out adding our dental worries to the mix.
I hope you find comfort in knowing It has happened to someone else who is also terrified. But that person got through it. panicked the whole time but even afterwards I only needed Ibuprofen and rest for a few days.
UPDATE: Just a quick update! Thank you to everyone that replied back with kind words and advice. I have read them earlier in the day and it did help my confidence and self esteem! :) so again, thanks so much. ❤️

it wasn’t easy but I went to the emergency dentist appointment. The lead up of suspense was really tough. Filling out the paper work I was shaking. Waiting for them to call me felt like forever. Long story short; I went in, tried to explain my fears etc and they were nice but didn’t say much. Can’t say they were horrible or judgmental just kind of there to get the job done. She looked where my pain was; said I had some infection in my gums. She offered to either extract three teeth but I would need a X-ray first or she could give me the antibiotics and go from there once I finished the course. Personally heard that x-rays during pregnancy a lot of people don’t advise so I opted for the antibiotics. Fast forward to now: I got the antibiotics. Amoxicillin 500mg three times a day. I’ve had two doses and my pain has mostly gone. It just feels tender and sore and a little puffy at the gum for the time being, but a lot better! I can actually sleep now without having to get up crying in pain every ten mins. ?

Again thanks so much for the input from everyone! It helped. The next step for me will be researching and looking into dentists in my area to find someone that I think are more ‘soft’ to people with phobias of the dentist. :)
It sounds like you did great! I hope you can find a very caring dentist that will work with you and help you overcome your fears. There are some amazing dentists out there! My dental fears stem from bad childhood experiences too. I would love to follow your journal if you decide to start one.
Such courage! You’ve come a long way.
Well done indeed! You made your appointment. This is progress.
Also it is good you were given a choice how to proceed. You don't have feel railroaded into stuff that you don't feel is right, like you didn't want the x-rays so the antibiotics can give some peace instead.
I would say, yes, do some researching. I'm no expert on radiology or anything, but I'm sure the x-rays that dentists do now are very low exposure. I didn't even notice mine getting done because the tool is such a mini camera! I recall having to stick your whole face in a machine, or something? Perhaps I have exaggerated my own memories though, hard to say...
Anyway, you crossed a threshold. Anticipation, forms, waiting, these are quite difficult enough. No small thing at all. Definitely give yourself credit for this!
Best of luck and please do keep posting about your situation. It definitely can't hurt to share. :)
Hi goingsolo,

well done on going and glad you are not in pain anymore. Looking for a dentist you would like more sounds like a good idea. We have a recommendation section here on the forum if you like to take a look.

Time is a very precious thing (for dentists and for patients) when dealing with dental phobia and treating someone who is really really afraid but needs a treatment now and then is one of the most stressful things for the whole dental team (and of course for you) as the pain makes anxiety worse and the fact a treatment is needed on the first visit makes it very hard to build trust and take things slowly. My feel is that your dentist tried to do her best in that situation but didn't see much chance to work on your fear and maybe wasn't even sure whether you want to work on your fear or just get the treatment as quickly as possible.

It is a great idea to start again and look for a dentist you like. You could let them know about your fears beforehand and prepare for the first visit so that you have a bit of trust already before you even step in. You will find many ideas here on the page.

Sending you hugs, keep us posted and all the best wishes for you and your baby.

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