• Dental Phobia Support

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Absolutely terrified! I need to face my fear, im fed up of being trapped because of my teeth! :'(



Junior member
Aug 21, 2017
Absolutely terrified! I need to face my fear, im fed up of being trapped because of my teeth! :cry:

Tonight I have come across this website and something has finally clicked. I have had enough. For years I have been scared, held back because of my teeth. I have avoided social events, I dont meet peoples eyes when I talk to them, try and look to the floor. Try not to laugh if I do put my hand over my mouth. Talk quietly so people. But im fed up of these stinking teeth :cry:
I was brought up by my nan, who never cared for her teeth, and didnt really care for mine. (mum was neglectful and dad couldnt be bothered to do the hard graft!) She never told me to clean my teeth,never. I remember at 15 the dentist having a go at me for not brushing my teeth. And I got so upset I could never return back there. And then over the years my teeth began falling apart. My nan used to buy my loads of sweets growing up, she never really like cooking meals - so microwave meals and sweets were diet. Which is way probably im still addicted to sweet stuff now. When I turned 17 and got my first job I tried looking after my teeth some more, even through I had a crack on third left tooth. I bought teeth whitener on a weekly basis. Give my teeth a good brushing but over the years, especially having the 3 babies and developing social anxiety (probably from my teeth) they are now in a very bad condition.
Every thought of the dentist and I turn into panic about what the dentist will say? How shes never seen teeth has bad as mine before and they are pretty bad now. I have one cracked top right molar, then next to it a gap with tooth fragments (where the tooth has broken out). front third left top missing (just tooth fragments) the tooth next to it is black. Then on the bottom, second left, missing tooth with fragments of tooth.
I have also developed an abscess between black tooth and broken one. I have been feeling really de-energised lately and not my self and I think its down to that. I am scared, at the moment but I really need antibiotics. Do I get them from the Doctor or Dentist. Because I really need to be seen asap.Im fed up of feeling like this. Im trying to better my life for my children. I am doing a maths degree at home and in the future im hoping to teach. But I would never be able to get there with these teeth. :(
Re: Absolutely terrified! I need to face my fear, im fed up of being trapped because of my teeth! :'

Welcome WelshSarah,

You are in the right place!!!! I came a month ago and am sooo glad I did. I felt a little crazy and obsessive and embarssed with some other people discussing this.. but we are all on the same page here. I was like you. covering my mouth wherever I went, always looking down , not wanting anyone to see my mouth my teeth, it stopped me from doing things socially. I finallly had a dentist who told me I had a beautiful smile and shouldn't have to hide it. She was so nice and compassionate that she gave me the courage to get partial centures on bottom where I needed them and I felt better about myself , she helped give me back my dignity. My ex husband made me leave her because I was in abusive and controlling marrraige and she helped me , he didn't like it. Then I went to another really good one after her for 10 years until i had to go bankrupt.. then I could't go back to him ... anyways 5 years later here I FINALLY found one that is competant and compassionate !! i love the whole office!!! I really pray and hope for you to get the same. Someone who can help you get past your fears and be kind to you in the process. its a big step what you are diong.. My parents never taught me or prodded me to take care of my teeth either so I hear you there.. its been a lifelong struggle. with so many factors,, in the fear of dentist. I had a lot of jerks until my dentist who helped me with the dentures.. Please keep writing here and even if people don't write back right away, you will get some and you will help some too!! Becaue everytime someone else is afraid and speaks it out, everyone else understands and gets it and is glad someone felt the same as them..
Re: Absolutely terrified! I need to face my fear, im fed up of being trapped because of my teeth! :'

I can guarantee you the dentist has seen worse. When I plucked up the courage to go back to the dentist at age 25, one of my two front teeth was mostly broken away, with just a sliver left, the other one was very visibly decayed around the gumline, and one of my canines had broken off long ago and the gum was growing over it already. And that was just what was immediately visible! I had several broken molars, some with gum grown over. I had a partially erupted wisdom tooth, and even that was decayed :giggle: plus everything was discoloured.

I can laugh about it now, but back then I was sure the dentist would be mortified. But they weren't. Lots of people looked in my mouth over the next few months, dentists, x-ray technician, hygienist, dental assistants, anesthesiologist, the different dentist that took impressions of my teeth, their assistant...and not a single one said a word. Not even a surprised look. They are professionals. They are there to fix dental problems, and they have seen them all.

It wasn't particularly dignified for me, but I stopped cowering in abject shame. And now, a few years later, with a healthy mouth and all that behind me, I can safely say I'm super glad I did it, and it was all worth it.

The dentist is the one to see about a possible infection for if you need antibiotics. Tell them your situation beforehand! Explain that a bad experience with a dentist when you were younger left you scared to go back, but you're here now, and you would really appreciate it if they would be gentle with you. If they're not super kind and patient after you explaining your situation to them, then they're a rubbish dentist, and you're well within your rights to go find a nicer one. You deserve the best healthcare, the same as anyone else.

You can do this. :)