Abusive dentist screamed at me and was very rude

[twopurringcats]

I am still shaken up about this, after having oral surgery yesterday. My dentist  (I've seen him a total of three times) totally attacked me verbally, the whole appointment was intimidating and hostile. Why? I dared question his treatment plan, in which he wanted to do a long list of expensive procedures. I'm not unruly and am easygoing but when it comes to money I will question when I have to pay a whole lot of money. The dentist told me I *MUST* do everything on that list before replacing a tooth he just pulled near the front of my mouth. I told him that I will do some of the things but when the space heals where the tooth was pulled, that will fit into the plan too, as I don't want a gap near the front of my mouth. He freaked and started raising his voice as he basically told me I didn't understand that he MUST do these other things first. I told him that I am paying the bill so I will get a tooth put in that space whenever it is ready to, and that is my prerogative. He was disgusted and angry that I wouldn't just do as told, I said that I know that my teeth aren't great but that list is LONG and I am not doing it all first, and if he doesn't want to do the implant when its time, then I will have it done elsewhere. He CHASED me down the hall as I was leaving (it was the end of my appointment anyhow) and scolded me. I told him that if I treated one of my clients (I'm in sales) the way he was treating me, that I would be fired on the spot. He walked away in total disgust. I was shaking as I left, as the other dental workers stood around looking confused. The receptionist asked if I'd like to schedule some of the work on that written dental plan as I was leaving. Who is she kidding? She wasn't being mean, she seemed apologetic at his behavior.
He never bothered giving me antibiotics or painkillers for the extraction he'd done that visit. I am in pain but not about to break down and call him to ask for it.

Today I was so depressed my sales stats suffered. I'm in sales and stats are all-important to salespeople. I took the rest of the day off, so I wouldn't let this idiot dentist ruin my job, too. I felt angry and shaken over being yelled at by someone I paid good money to trust and treat me right. His work in my mouth was ok but he shoved the novacaine in my mouth harshly, and that was really scary, too. He works on more than one patient at a time, and thinks nothing of letting clients sit for hours in the chair as he goes and works on others. That happened to me last visit. I only went back because he did a good job on my tooth the first time. Now, forget it. I am scared to even go to a dentist after this.

Any thoughts on what I should do about this dentist? I reported him to the insurance company I found him through but that is all I could think of to do. My brain is kind of blurry right now.

Carolyn

 

[brit]

Re: Abusive dentist screamed at me and was very ru

Hi Carolyn
I was so sorry to read about the unprofessional and discourteous way in which you were treated and think you are completely right to look elsewhere to finish your treatment. All dentists are certainly not like that. Try not to let this put you off and ask around for referrals from friends and colleagues.
It would be more usual to agree the plan of work in advance and in what order rather than mid-treatment, I would have thought. Had you signed up to the whole plan in advance or something and then changed your mind?

I would also report him to the State dental authorities if you are in the US and write a letter of complaint to him and keep a copy.
Even on a phobia board, such stories are rare so you have just been very unlucky.

 

[Nat]

Re: Abusive dentist screamed at me and was very ru

Hi, I agree with Brit, the way you were treated was unprofessional and you should definately go elsewhere. I had a similar experience with a dentist I saw before I met the one I have now. I was made to feel ashamed, embarrased and treated likie a small child. I was humiliated in front of the whole waiting room, reception area and in front of numerous dental nurses and i cried probably for 3 hours straight after that. I thought I was doomed to never meet a good dentist and to live with pain for the rest fo my life, that was until I contacted the local authorities who then put me in touch with the dentist I have now. The two couldnt have been more different, while the first one didnt explain things to me, didnt understand my phobia and basically treated me in an unproffesional manner the second totally understood me, treated me with respect and has helped me immensely over the past year. I just wanted to let you know that the good ones are out there, its unfortunate that this one you met wasnt one of those but please dont give up.

 

[twopurringcats]

Re: Abusive dentist screamed at me and was very ru

Thank you for the advice, it is comforting to know that this problem isn't common..I would hate for others to end up feeling like this after going to the dentist.

I just talked to my insurance company, since nobody replied to my email there, and they are sending me paperwork to file a formal complaint. They were horrified when I told them details and told me that they take these things very seriously. Good. The phone customer care person told me he could hear in my voice the hurt this has caused! Wow, I'm glad I didn't work today,since I work on the phones myself, taking incoming sales calls. If I sound "down" I won't sell anything. So, today I am taking off work, and recuperating. Just need to unwind. Pictures of the dentist freaking out at me flash through my head, but I am pushing the thoughts aside because it's over now..and he is not going to hurt me further!

Carolyn

 

[takingflight]

Re: Abusive dentist screamed at me and was very ru

Hi and  ,

I'm very sorry to hear that you had to go through that, no one should have to deal that kind of treatment.  I do think that you did the right thing by standing up for yourself.  One of my biggest issues is that I don't like confrontation and if it is someone in an authority position I tend to be even worse.  You should be proud of yourself for being in control of the situation and feeling comfortable enough to be firm in your beliefs.  I'm also glad to hear you are filing a complaint, you may help keep someone else from being treated so rudely.  Brit and Nat are right, don't let this experience keep you from getting the care you need and deserve.  I'm sure that someone can recommend a dentist that will be compassionate and work with you on a treatment plan that fits your budget and time.  

Take care!  

Pam

 

[freakout]

Re: Abusive dentist screamed at me and was very ru

I can only reiterate what the others have said.  Well done on standing your ground.  Sometimes, doctors and dentist have a God complex.  They believe that they are in charge and that know one, least of all a patient should question them.  The good news is, that not all doctors or dentists have this feeling.  There are those out there who will treat you with care and compassion.  They actually realize that you, not they, are in charge.  Sometimes it just takes a little time to find them, but you will, I am sure of that.

I went to a dentist a few weeks before my wedding to have a front tooth fixed. Apparently there was a molar he wanted to fix instead, but I said no I need the front fixed...I am getting married. He refused to fix the front tooth until I promised to come back and finish my treatment. Well I promised I would, but I just couldn't go back....not to him Now I have a dentist who is caring and understanding. He takes things at a pace that I can afford both financially and emotionally. Always giving me options as to what we should do and in what order.

Again there are good ones out there...Do not give up.

 

[twopurringcats]

Re: Abusive dentist screamed at me and was very ru

I can only reiterate what the others have said.  Well done on standing your ground.  Sometimes, doctors and dentist have a God complex.  They believe that they are in charge and that know one, least of all a patient should question them.  The good news is, that not all doctors or dentists have this feeling.  There are those out there who will treat you with care and compassion.  They actually realize that you, not they, are in charge.  Sometimes it just takes a little time to find them, but you will, I am sure of that.

I went to a dentist a few weeks before my wedding to have a front tooth fixed.  Apparently there was a molar he wanted to fix instead, but I said no I need the front fixed...I am getting married.  He refused to fix the front tooth until I promised to come back and finish my treatment.  Well I promised I would, but I just couldn't go back....not to him  Now I have a dentist who is caring and understanding.  He takes things at a pace that I can afford both financially and emotionally.  Always giving me options as to what we should do and in what order.

Again there are good ones out there...Do not give up.

Thanks for the moral support, I need it right now.

I just booked an appointment with a dentist in the same complex as this guy, but who is highly recommended by someone who knows him personally. She's a doctor herself, and if she recommends him, I trust her judgment. I need to jump back into treatment now or I'll give up on it, so I'm going for it. The receptionist at the new doc's practise says they have other patients who had gone to the abusive dentist first and left him after being poorly treated. She says that they told her he has "serious issues" and is mean. Wow, I'm not alone. I felt good knowing that this new office is friendly and willing to work with me. I have my fingers crossed, and am still scared but let's put it this way - I don't think anyone could be more cruel to me than this guy was. The dentist I'll be seeing has a following so that is a good sign.

 

[brit]

Re: Abusive dentist screamed at me and was very ru

I just booked an appointment with a dentist in the same complex as this guy, but who is highly recommended by someone who knows him personally. She's a doctor herself, and if she recommends him, I trust her judgment.

I'd put money on this working out fine....you will be okay....a medical doctor who is a friend is only going to give you a good recommendation. The sooner you can get back on the horse the better, I'd say.
Good luck but you probably don't need it now.

 

[freakout]

Re: Abusive dentist screamed at me and was very ru

Congrats on seeking out a new dentist It must feel really good to know you were not the only one to be treated poorly by that dentist.

I am sure you will have much better luck with the new dentist. Especially since they come highly recommended. You should write down the fears and concerns that you have, so that you will be able to discuss them with the new dentist. Because they know about your previous experience with the other dentist, they will be more apt to be extra caring towards you.

Keep us posted

 

[twopurringcats]

new dentist

I look forward to meeting the new dentist and his staff, so my anxiety will hopefully go away. Yes, I scheduled quickly so I don't give up on going to dentists altogether, since dealing with the abusive one.

The new staff is concerned that the old dentist won't allow my xrays to be transferred to them. How vindictive can he be?! I'll do my best to make sure they get them, since those xrays were just taken the other day. The sooner I cut any ties with the former dentist, the better!

 

[brit]

Re: Abusive dentist screamed at me and was very ru

To save yourself additional stress, I'd get someone big and intimidating (I mean a bloke!) to retrieve the x-rays with your written authority. Sometimes the new dentist arranges this but it sounds like that might be a problem if patients are constantly leaving one practice for the other.
Refusing to hand them over is another charge to add to your complaint to the authorities.

 

[twopurringcats]

Re: Abusive dentist screamed at me and was very ru

To save yourself additional stress, I'd get someone big and intimidating  (I mean a bloke!) to retrieve the x-rays with your written authority. Sometimes the new dentist arranges this but it sounds like that might be a problem if patients are constantly leaving one practice for the other.
Refusing to hand them over is another charge to add to your complaint to the authorities.

Excellent thoughts..will keep in mind if necessary.   Isn't it amazing how the mean dentist causes the problem then blames everyone else for his lack of keeping customers. He's a big, intimidating guy himself, so I'll have to find someone even bigger and more imposing. I sure hope it doesn't come to that, but it may.

 

[Lady_Python]

Re: Abusive dentist screamed at me and was very ru

What a horrible experience - and what a horrible dentist

I'm afraid I wouldn't have had the patience you showed. I would probably have yelled back at him and possibly even thumped him

I would certainly dump him as soon as possible and get a dentist who treats you with the courtesy and compassion you deserve and treats you like a human being.

 

[twopurringcats]

Re: Abusive dentist screamed at me and was very ru

What a horrible experience - and what a horrible dentist

I'm afraid I wouldn't have had the patience you showed.  I would probably have yelled back at him and possibly even thumped him

I would certainly dump him as soon as possible and get a dentist who treats you with the courtesy and compassion you deserve and treats you like a human being.

Thanks, I have an appointment scheduled with a dentist in the same complex as him, recommended by a doctor friend of mine. They get a lot of the mean dentist's abused patients, the receptionist told me!

I was stern with the dentist when he threw his fit at me, and stood up to him but calmly, that way he cannot blame me for yelling at HIM! I told him that I will do what I like with my treatment plan, and since I'm the one spending the money here, it's up to me how it is spent. He tried blaming me more, "You don't understand", I told him, "YOU don't understand, I know that I need important work done, but I will stir into it, having cosmetic work done too, to get rid of the hole near the front of my mouth, TOO" (just had that tooth pulled out)." He could see that bullying me wasn't going to work and stalked off, in a huff. I left with my head held high. The staff there didn't seem surprised at this altercation. Who knows what other outbursts they have witnessed by that jerk. He learned that going off on me will get him nothing but a lecture back. hehe

 

[Raw_Curls]

Re: Abusive dentist screamed at me and was very ru

Just a recommendation - you could call ahead and find out when he won't be there so you or a friend can pick up your x-rays. I've had to do that before when switching dentists, it's faster this way and nobody charges anything, although they probably won't give you the originals (for legal reasons).

 

[twopurringcats]

Re: Abusive dentist screamed at me and was very ru

Just a recommendation - you could call ahead and find out when he won't be there so you or a friend can pick up your x-rays.    I've had to do that before when switching dentists, it's faster this way and nobody charges anything, although they probably won't give you the originals (for legal reasons).

That's a very good idea, thanks for the tip. He's such a blow-hole, that he'd definitely start some sort of problem so that makes total sense.

 

[Yourbigpalal83]

Re: Abusive dentist screamed at me and was very ru

hey i know what its like. I went to a rather insulting dentist 3 years ago when the old war wounds (two broken molars that were the result of being double kicked in the face) started to hurt. he insulted me, said you deserve it for all the years of neglect, and made me feel lower then human. Of course, i got both molars taken out by a great OS, but the guy made me feel like pure crap, and his words still echo in my ears today.

Also, as a child, i went to a kids dentist with a stubborn loose baby tooth, ( WARNING GRAPHIC DISCRIPTION AHEAD, AVOID IF IT MAKES YOU UNEAZY)
and he just said he was going to look, and he ripped the dam thing out with his bare hands. I remember spitting a huge glob of blood across the wall. last time i ever went to him!

anyhow, i think dentists have no right what so ever to scold anybody! If people did take care of there teeth, and dident get all sorts of problems, there would be no need for dentists. honestly, lets face facts here, not to insult dentists, because, there are alot of good ones out there, like pars and gorden (god i wish i lived in england, id go see them in a heartbeat) dentist work athough extremly important, rarely is ever a matter of life and death! I mean, sure, a dentist can change lives for the better, help people in pain, restore teeth, etc, but how many dentists can say they actuley saved a life! Not to be crule, but look at the facts. Its one thing for a doctor to yell at you, because your life might be in the ballance, but, dentist should in my view atleast be greatful for people who have bad teeth.


Sry i just had to rant!