advanced gum disease

[ashamed and scared]

Hello, i'm in absolute turmoil and have come to the end of hiding out from teeth/gum problems cos I just can't do it any longer....

I'm so ashamed that 3 years ago two of my bottom teeth (middle) fell out due to advanced gum disease and instead of going to the dentist I started super-gluing them in place... stupid and dangerous I know. I just couldn't cope with not having teeth there even if I cant eat or speak properly.

I'm now trying to find a dentist and I'm looking for some support, and maybe someone who has been through the processes i have coming will be able to talk to me. I'd really also like it if I could be supportive in turn and maybe help others who suffer this excrutiating affliction of being so scared that at times suicide seems a viable option. I know that sounds stupid but I thought maybe someone here would understand....

 

[janeybobs]

Dont ever be ashamed hunny, its a horrible horrible feeling to be so scared and vulnerable

Youve made the first positive step to getting it sorted and hope to help you on the way

Much luv

 

[ashamed and scared]

thanks janeybobs

I found this site by accident this afternoon when i was trying to find out what may happen when I finally find a dentist and i was amazed by the amount of people who all feel similar about their teeth. Sometimes you feel so alone so this has helped...and the stories of the journey people have been on or are currently on, and their bravery, is kinda inspiring....

Peace and love

 

[bumblebee]

Dear Ashamed and Scared

Sorry to hear you are suffering so badly, with your dental phobia and loose teeth... I am a dentist, and obviously have not met you/ examined you, but have met 1000's like you and have my own share of anxieties, so I can relate!

How you tackle these things is different for everyone, I tend to prefer the head on/ confront/ get it over with approach. This can't be for you... as you have said you have avoided for several years. So instead, I would suggest perhaps just admitting it is a dental 'phobia' is the first big step, which you have taken already! SO great.... now what to do (?)... I'm sure you do need some loyal support, a friend/ family to go with you - someone who is super calm and collected at the dentist - not someone who is going to make you feel worse. And even though you may feel that this is a 'cop out' I would consider going to the doctor first and see if you can find a method to control your anxiety prior to your appointment. This could be learning techniques to relax and so on, maybe cognitive behavioural therapy would help (?) or indeed medication to control the anxiety. I would definately consider/ recommend this for my patients. I do not feel that it means you are not 'learning to cope' on your own, but using medication to 'help you cope'. This can then later be phased out as and when you increase your confidence both in yourself and your dentist. I hope you don't have a phobia of the doctor- otherwise this advise is going to be redundant! Hopefully that helps, that would be how I would tackle it in your position.

 

[ashamed and scared]

Dear Bumblebee,
thanks for your reply. I hope you are well?

I really do wish I'd done the heads on thing cos my problems have got worse year after year and I'm now in a place where I'm not seeing anyone nor am I leaving the house (nor eating or sleeping). I gave up my job as a drugs worker because of my teeth. A month ago I was completely desperate cos the two teeth next to the missing teeth are badly displaced (and enarly ready to drop out) so I no longer have a stable superglue 'anchor'. I briefly considered suicide but I have grown up children and I just couldn't put them through that sort of suffering for the sake of my teeth - ridiculous when you say it out loud isn't it?? Anyway, I went to the GP and asked for a referral to the dental hospital and did tell him i have advanced gum disease - that was the first time I'd ever even spoken the words He said he'd like to try a community dentist and sent off a letter telling me I should have an appointment in a week or two. Earlier in the week I rang the dentist to ask about waiting times cos I'm so desperate and they said they had received no referral. After much ringing around and 3 days later it turns out the dr's had sent the letter to the wrong address A new referral is going tomorrow but that means a wait again.

Also, I'm really scared because my gum coming up to my bottom lip looks and feels as though it is dying... The level of stress i now feel is suffocating me and if i could go to a dentist who could help I'd be there this very second.

I did think I would get mild sedation from my GP when the appointment comes through and I thank you for that suggestion. I'm sorry for my rolling monologue but its such a relief to just be able to just say how bad things are.

Take care
S

 

[glitterbabe71]

Dear Ashamed and scared first off i want to give you big hugs im new here ,, and i have really bad teeth advanced gum disease and in so much pain all the time .,,,, and live off pain killers ,, but i cannot go on much longer and i have finially made an appt to go see dentist ,, i have an infection now .. i know i need to get it sorted .. this is a great place to be and so much support from everyone .. it really does help to talk to others that have been and are going through it

Take care

Sarah

 

[GummyMummy17]

Hi, just wanted to give you some of these.I have been where you are R.E the loosing teeth scenario and I too gave up work(was a supply teacher) I recently had a full extraction (March 10th under IV sedation)of my remaining 16(was 17, lost one the week before) teeth.Your post struck a chord with me as your fear stops you from doing what you know you need to.I didn't go to the dentist for almost 7 years and that was EVEN after they told me back then I had gum problems, I knew anyway as I was starting to get wobbly teeth.The final straw for me really was when my already buck front tooth started moving forward even more and I started looking like some hideous Nanny McPhee character I am making light of it but it really is nothing to laugh about as I know you know, more of these .You are welcome to read my journal and PM me if you want to chat more.I am still kicking myself that I didn't go to the dentist sooner and I'm sure you feel the same ways.Is there anyone who could help you with this?If they catch it soon enough you may just need a partial denture and a deep cleaning, I really hope so.Anyway, you are not alone, there are lots on here who will be able to empathise with you and offer support.I'm sure glad I found this place.

 

[robotguy]

Hello and welcome, I just want to add some words of comfort to you, I know how low and lonely this phobia can be.

I totally understand the frustration you feel of delaying things too, I was all ready to start my journey and it got put back through circumstances I couldn't control, that nearly made me want to forget the whole thing, but I'm so glad I didn't now.

You should be proud of yourself for deciding to tackle this problem, for improving your life. Don't dwell on the past, you can't change that, move forward and upwards. With the help of a caring dentist, together you can get your life back.

 

[ashamed and scared]

Hi everyone, I'm absolutely blown away by the support you guys have given me i I'm moved to tears but a different sort of tears from yesterday and I really want to THANK you all for your warmth and caring. They reckon that people who have been through/are going through mental anguish are often very empathetic and give of themselves freely to others in need....

Sarah well done for making an appointment with the dentist - what a huge achievement and I really hope I could support you in that if you wanted Dental pain is the worst isn't it? Big big hugs and for you and I know that we have a journey in front of us but I'm holding onto the fact that ultimately there will be no more pain and a smile that we can use to greet the world.

Gummymummy, awww I'm sorry you have been in a similar place to me with work. What a hard hard decision it was to make because I love my job, as I'm sure you did. You are much further along your road but and I'd be interested in hearing your story, your trials and successes. That you have had teeth extracted is a major achievement and I hope you are starting to feel better? Again, if I could offer any support or share in the good and bad days I'd really like that big hugs for you

Hello Robotguy, thank you also for your support. Sitting here it seems a little bit crazy that we are so ruled by fear that we let things get so bad before we are forced to tackle the problem head on. I think I believed I was alone in the world with this and living with shame is a hard place to sit. The second I found this site I read the dental phobia section and the embarressment bit spoke to me in volumes Coming onto the chatroom has been inspirational and made it possible to share things I have never told a living soul before now. big hugs for you and also the offer of a gentle ear if you ever need or want to chat.

I hope everyone has a good day,
take care,
Skye

 

[bumblebee]

Dear A + S,

Sorry to hear about your wait, the Community dentists are generally great (once you get there!!), specialise in patients with anxiety and so on. It may take a while, there won't be a quick fix, unfortunately... annoying once you've got there isn't it? I generally find most nervous patients want everything done there and then, but it is not practical, and much better to overcome a phobia by gradually building up treatment. Unless of course you are having multiple extractions/ full clearance (all teeth out), in which case better to get it over and done with I'm sure.

Either way, the Community will just initially examine and advise you of what to expect. Just get over that hurdle of attending! Have you got someone to take you?

Bee

 

[ashamed and scared]

Good evening bumblebee, how are you feeling today?

I think if the dentist could prioritise the work and possibly make it so i don't have to glue in my bottom teeth I'd leave feeling much happier cos I could maybe resume some sort of normal life while the rest of the procedures were done. Or if all my teeth need to be removed as I expect then that I could have temporary teeth. I'm completely committed to seeing this through to the end and hmmm I've decided to give up smoking as I've been reading how bad this is for gum disease. I have a dr's app next friday and I'm linking it with a trip to the smoking cessation nurse...

I think I could maybe have someone go with me but until I get an app its not certain yet...

I hope you have a pleasant and peaceful evening

 

[bumblebee]

I'm good thanks
Hope you are getting on well