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Ah guys I need your help :(

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Sscared

Member
Joined
Nov 2, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Manchester UK
Hi everyone

as I’m sure a lot of people are, I’ve been reading stories on here probably for a few years now. It’s even taken me courage to make an account which I have managed to do, somehow!

Basically I’m in my 30s and not been to see a dentist in years. My real problems started when I had my first daughter a decade ago, my teeth were not great before that but they have seriously disintegrated in that time frame and I have not seen a dentist.

I have ignored the problems as many of us do as I’ve not had much pain, but it’s getting ridiculous now and I need to book an appointment. I’ve decided to try and get in to see a private dentist as soon as possible to start treatment.

my whole mouth is a bit of a mess to be quite honest but the worst area is my front bottom teeth. Around 4-5 in extremely bad condition, very extreme periodontal disease here. The 3 centre teeth have roots showing, have extreme tartar build up on the back and have terrible receded gums.I’m ashamed to say they are completely discoloured and rotten and will definitely need removing (this is not one of those cases where people think it’s worse than it is. It is definitely as bad as it gets.)

I’m scared. I’m scared of the judgment, I’m scared of having no teeth, I’m scared of the treatment. I’m scared, period. But I know the time has come because these teeth are about to fall out and I’m not sure what I will do then.

I want to be able to smile in front of my kids and my husband 😞 I’m not really sure why I’m writing here Iknow you can’t do anything but I can’t talk about this with anyone in real life.

so tomorrow is the day. I have made appointments before but I have to do this now. How do I get over this initial fear? I am scared that I will see this dentist and I will somehow have no way out of this.

some nights I find it hard to sleep and end up agonising over these thoughts and anxiety, this is taking over my life and it shouldn’t! I think this is a night I will find it hard to sleep. But we will see. Thank you for letting me vent!
 
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Thecatsmother

Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2020
Messages
59
Location
Yorkshire
I think you are very brave and courageous, firstly for telling folks on here about your problems, and secondly for making the first appointment. No decent dentist will judge you or shame you, they will be kind and supportive, and help you to take the first steps in the right direction.
 
letsconnect

letsconnect

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Jan 1, 2005
Messages
5,337
Just wanted to wish you the very best of luck for today if it's not too late!

Well done for making the appointment - we all know how much courage that must have taken :respect:.

We have a page here on the topic of the first appointment, which might address some of your concerns:


I hope everything goes really well for you

:grouphug:
 
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MelJJ

Member
Joined
Oct 4, 2020
Messages
36
Location
UK
Sscared,

I understand everything that you are saying and feeling. I am in the same boat as you - I haven't been to a dentist for nearly 30 years out of pure fear. I have lost multiple back teeth over the years (rarely had pain), but I now have front top teeth on the verge of falling out - the fear and anxiety is overwhelming :( After two months of lurking on here reading the inspiring stories, and two months of researching dentists in my area, I finally plucked up the courage to send my saga to my chosen dentist and I went for my first visit last week. She was lovely, and answered my questions before she even touched me. I was a bit of a wreck and after lots of tears I finally let her look in my mouth. She was very calm and gentle, and I managed to get through x-rays and photos. The news of course was more or less what I expected it be so I wasn't surprised - I need deep-cleaning, extractions, and dentures, but I made peace with myself years ago that this would probably eventually be my path. I have quite a long journey to go through and I am dreading the treatment but what I will say that despite this, although it was incredibly hard, the relief of getting through that first appointment was overwhelming. Best of luck to you.
 
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Sscared

Member
Joined
Nov 2, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Manchester UK
Sscared,

I understand everything that you are saying and feeling. I am in the same boat as you - I haven't been to a dentist for nearly 30 years out of pure fear. I have lost multiple back teeth over the years (rarely had pain), but I now have front top teeth on the verge of falling out - the fear and anxiety is overwhelming :( After two months of lurking on here reading the inspiring stories, and two months of researching dentists in my area, I finally plucked up the courage to send my saga to my chosen dentist and I went for my first visit last week. She was lovely, and answered my questions before she even touched me. I was a bit of a wreck and after lots of tears I finally let her look in my mouth. She was very calm and gentle, and I managed to get through x-rays and photos. The news of course was more or less what I expected it be so I wasn't surprised - I need deep-cleaning, extractions, and dentures, but I made peace with myself years ago that this would probably eventually be my path. I have quite a long journey to go through and I am dreading the treatment but what I will say that despite this, although it was incredibly hard, the relief of getting through that first appointment was overwhelming. Best of luck to you.
this is amazing to hear! I love your story and it makes me feel less alone.

I didn’t make the appointment today 😞but your story has made me feel a tiny bit more confident and that I can do it.

whats the alternative?
Eventually these teeth will come out, I won’t have control over the plan and what’s done, I will update on here once I’ve made the appointment!

what is your next step Mel?I am so hoping the dentist I see is as lovely as yours sounds.
 
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MelJJ

Member
Joined
Oct 4, 2020
Messages
36
Location
UK
You're definitely not alone on here - every story and person is so inspirational. Tomorrow is another day :) you're completely allowed to go at your own pace - you will get there, as I say 30 years for me to even consider making an appointment, ha ! My final push of course is teeth on the verge of falling out, weight loss due to not being able to eat much, and my mental health has taken a complete nose-dive, and my poor daughter having no idea why I have been so miserable and never smile. My next step is a deep-clean next week - I feel sick with fear and I have spoken to my GP who has agreed to prescribe Diazepam for me. The way I see it, I have no choice, it's got to be done like it or not, ha !
 
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Sscared

Member
Joined
Nov 2, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Manchester UK
You're definitely not alone on here - every story and person is so inspirational. Tomorrow is another day :) you're completely allowed to go at your own pace - you will get there, as I say 30 years for me to even consider making an appointment, ha ! My final push of course is teeth on the verge of falling out, weight loss due to not being able to eat much, and my mental health has taken a complete nose-dive, and my poor daughter having no idea why I have been so miserable and never smile. My next step is a deep-clean next week - I feel sick with fear and I have spoken to my GP who has agreed to prescribe Diazepam for me. The way I see it, I have no choice, it's got to be done like it or not, ha !
I agree! I come on here and read so many stories, it’s amazing, I’ll never thank this place enough because feeling this way can feel so isolating.

Can you please update after your cleaning next week? I hope it goes well.

it’s always at this time of the day, in the evening after work, away from distractions that I really think about it and dwell on it. It’s weird because part of me is excited to get work underway even though I can’t bring myself to start it. How silly, but To be able to smile without covering the bottom half of my mouth!
 
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Sscared

Member
Joined
Nov 2, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Manchester UK
So I booked the appointment. November 26th so it feels like a lifetime away. My teeth have recently started to cause me a little pain so I know it needs to be done as I cannot just ignore it any more. I will update nearer the time. Thanks everyone
 
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Thecatsmother

Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2020
Messages
59
Location
Yorkshire
Be very proud of yourself, this is a big step forward!😊
 
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MelJJ

Member
Joined
Oct 4, 2020
Messages
36
Location
UK
Well done you :claps: Hope everything goes okay for you.
 
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Sscared

Member
Joined
Nov 2, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Manchester UK
Well my appointment is tomorrow morning. Just a consultation. I haven’t cancelled it but a big part of me wants to reschedule. The anticipation is horrible! During a consultation do they do x rays and things? She said they will provide a plan so I assume I’d need x rays and “work” done in that sense?
 
letsconnect

letsconnect

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Jan 1, 2005
Messages
5,337
Hi Sscared, you're a paying customer, so what you say goes 🙂 . We recommend using the consultation as an opportunity to interview your potential dentist, and see if you think they are a good fit for you. Maybe you could let them know beforehand that you'd just like to have a chat with them, rather than a "standard" consultation?

We've got a page with tips for the first appointment here:


Wishing you all the best for tomorrow!!
 
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Sscared

Member
Joined
Nov 2, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Manchester UK
Thank you! To be honest I’d rather get everything done there and then, in the deep end so to speak and see where I stand. I will update tomorrow, hope I get the courage from somewhere!
 
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MissM250

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 25, 2020
Messages
124
Location
Victoria
I hope things went well! If you want, follow along with me in Journals! My first appointment is this Monday! <3
 
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Sscared

Member
Joined
Nov 2, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Manchester UK
Hi all

Well I somehow did it 😂 never thought I’d see the day.

Everyone there was lovely, nothing like how things used to be.

I signed some forms, had my temp taken, hand sanitizer etc.

Waited to be called in by the lovely nurse. Dentist was just as nice. Looked in my mouth, not much prodding really. Had an x ray after standing up with my chin rested on a machine, didn’t look at them which he was fine with!

The end results were, most of my teeth are actually in a good state but the front bottom are as messy as I thought. He will do a clean on them and then assess them afterwards. He said if once all the tartar comes off they become very loose, they will be extracted there and then and the lab will make me a temp partial on the day. But he will see if perhaps they can be held together and can strengthen once the cleaning is done and gums can heal. Worst case is 3 extractions.

I feel such relief, just waiting to book in the next appointment at his main office.

Guys this has taken 20 years but I did it, and honestly if I can do it you can too. I will update once my next appointment is booked.
 
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Thecatsmother

Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2020
Messages
59
Location
Yorkshire
I'm so pleased for you and that you had a good experience!
 
letsconnect

letsconnect

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Jan 1, 2005
Messages
5,337
Congratulations Sscared 🍾 🎉!!

Your dentist and nurse sound really lovely, that's great news 🥰. Hope you'll get a chance to celebrate your success (despite Covid)!!
 
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Sscared

Member
Joined
Nov 2, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Manchester UK
Thank you guys. I’ve got my next appointment booked which is when I get my front bottom teeth cleaned. I am a bit nervous to see whether these teeth will “hold” or not. It will be weird going in knowing that I could possibly walk out with those teeth gone. It’s also booked for a week before Christmas, so I’m wondering whether I should reschedule for the new year in case I’m in lots of pain/have complications etc. Lots to think about. Thank you all for your support xx
 
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