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Ava

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Mar 11, 2009
Messages
72
Hi Everyone,

I have recently become a member of this brilliant site although I have been reading all your posts as a guest for sometime. It's been really good to know im not the only one with a crazy fear of the dentist!

I've read some good things on here about the Bristol Dental Anaesthetic Clinic so today i've asked my sister (who has no fear of the dentists and even goes in for cosmetic treatment for fun!?) to email them and ask a few basic questions and tell them about my phobia. I wanted to email myself but I just found I was rambling and not making any sense when I started writing due to nerves!

Hopefully this is the first step for me but at the moment I can already feel my heart beating faster and throat constricting at the thought of just making the initial contact.

Wish me luck! xx
 
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Deb89

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Dec 17, 2007
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Location
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You're doing good so far and looks like you have some great support from your sister. I'm sure if they come recommended you should be in good hands. Good luck, hun! :hug2:
 
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Ava

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Mar 11, 2009
Messages
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Thanks Deb, thats really good of you to reply, I feel so much better talking to people and reading people's comments!

My sis is a star in some ways but in others she is a bit abrupt with me because she can't understand what all the fuss is about having no fear herself and tends to think I should just get on with it. Im trying to look at this as a positive though and when/if I pluck up the courage to go im going to ask her to come along with me because I think I would rather have someone like that there than someone who will be a bit soft with me.
 
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Deb89

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I totally understand that! My dad isn't abrupt or anything but he tells me it isn't a big deal and while that might be harsh, I kind of do need a bit of a kick in the butt to get me there!
 
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Ava

Member
Joined
Mar 11, 2009
Messages
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Exactly how I feel! I just really hope they email back quickly now, I feel in some ways that the waiting is just as bad as the actual treatment.
 
brit

brit

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Exactly how I feel! I just really hope they email back quickly now, I feel in some ways that the waiting is just as bad as the actual treatment.
The actual treatment shouldn't be bad at all honestly - you want to ensure pleasant dental experiences and that way you'll get over your fear.

Given that you and your sister probably had the same childhood dentists(?) - how come she claims no fear (it's a relative thing - may not be true) and yet you have an issue.....have you worked out what specifically scares you about the experience. Have a browse here


:grouphug:
 
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FinnishGirl

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May 13, 2008
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I don't think the same dentist will give everyone a phobia. There is more than just the dentist in the situation! And people - even relatives - are so different fron each other. The dentist may treat every patient the same but someone finds it very scary and someone likes it. I also think that many of the bad experiences I've read here have happened to a person who has already been a bit nervous. If you're calm, things go better even though the dentist wouldn't be the best in the world. When a nervous patient comes in, the dentist may think "oh no, one of these cases" and just try to do the treatment. And if you're nervous, normal things feel scary. So there are many reasons why someone has a bad experience with a certain dentist and someone not.
 
brit

brit

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I don't think the same dentist will give everyone a phobia. There is more than just the dentist in the situation! And people - even relatives - are so different fron each other. The dentist may treat every patient the same but someone finds it very scary and someone likes it. I also think that many of the bad experiences I've read here have happened to a person who has already been a bit nervous. If you're calm, things go better even though the dentist wouldn't be the best in the world. When a nervous patient comes in, the dentist may think "oh no, one of these cases" and just try to do the treatment. And if you're nervous, normal things feel scary. So there are many reasons why someone has a bad experience with a certain dentist and someone not.
Yes I don't disagree with that but I asked the question as OP needs to evaluate the nature of her fears....her sister can't really do that bit for her...I used 'relative' in a different sense...as in 'it's all relative..the level of fear is relative' nothing to do with actually being related.

TBH in my experience, a good dentist is a good dentist...with all patients... so although one child will be more reluctant than another (as with my own kids) appropriate handling prevents true phobia as such arising. We do though all have our personal preferences when it comes to finding our Mr Right Dentist :-*..many if competence is a given, are just OK.
 
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JessicaB

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Jan 5, 2009
Messages
277
Hi Ava and welcome! I have found email to be a great tool in contacting the dentist, and I'm sure you'll get to the point soon where you feel you can send an email yourself, and it will still be much less confronting than making a phone call. It's so great that your sister was able to help you make that first step. My partner called up for me and made my first appointment, then I emailed after that and have emailed many times since, including to make subsequent appointments, so use that tool as much as you can.

I was really, pleasantly surprised at how understanding the dentist was as well as all the support staff once I went in - they didn't judge me and made lots of suggestions to help me feel more relaxed - including offering laughing gas for treatment, which has been fabulous for me. I hope your experience is just as positive. All the best with everything :thumbsup:
 
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Ava

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Mar 11, 2009
Messages
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Hi Everyone and thanks so much for reading my posts and for your comments!

I will expand a bit more on my sister as after reading your comments I realise I left a crucial part of the story untold lol. We did have the same dentist which we went to into our teens and we were both afraid. We both didn't like going, there was nothing specific the dentist did but he just used to get fed up with us acting up and used to huff and puff a bit and speak fairly harshly to us (I can't say I blame him because it must have been such an effort for him and so time consuming when he had other patients to see). Anyway sometime in our mid teens I think he had enough of us and he told our Mum to stop taking us and only to bring us back if we had any problems. That was basically when we stopped going and I thought from that that I would only need to go back when I got a toothache. But that hasn't happned yet and Im starting to feel now that I would rather go before I have any pain!

So a few years went by and neither of us were going to the dentist and at this time we were both afraid (I think I was more scared but she disagrees). Then one day my sis decides this is silly and makes an appointment at my parents dentist (by this time they had changed dentists so it was a totally new one), the visit went ok and now she had no problems going and even has a seperate cosmetic dentist so between the two of them she ends up going quite regularly.

She has now totally forgotten that she used to be afraid and has very little sympathy with me. She thinks that, like her once I go once I will also be alright and I really hope that is true! The silly thing is I did have a couple of fillings, some teeth out and my teeth painted when I was younger and I remember it not being that bad so I am struggling to understand why im being such a wimp now!?

Also on another point the Bristol Dentist I mentioned earlier isn't answering our emails :shame: so it looks like im going to have to phone then on Monday. Im gutted they didn't answer and i've already lost a little bit of faith in then now but there doesn't seem to be anywhere else near me that has actally been recommended on here and I really want to go somewhere where scared people have been before so that I know they can handle me if I freak out.
 
brit

brit

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QUOTE FROM WEBSITE: 'All our patients are treated under sedation – and just as there are many different fears, there are many ways of dealing with them.
We have a range of sedation techniques available, ranging from ‘laughing gas’ to safe and effective sedation that patients can control for themselves. '

Have a re-read of their website and see if their approach is what you want. The thing is with a kind caring dentist with painfree techniques, most people don't actually need sedation...I am slightly concerned that it says ALL patients are sedated becasue that doesn't reallly help you longterm - especially if it's overkill.

It sounds like you had a dentist with a gruff scary persona - not the norm at all - so remove that element and you'll be fine without sedation...why not visit your sister's practice (with her in tow maybe) and see if it would work for you? Let's face it if you had an impatient rude hairdreser you wouldn't go back would you, so why is a dentist any different?

Also the posters who have recommended BDAC have only done a couple of posts(less reliable maybe) and it doesn't tell you who is behind it, who you will see etc etc this could mean the staff change and they rely on sedating you all the time for that not to bother you.

I get the impression this is an overkill solution for you although you might want to try them just for a check-up to see what they say you need doing.
As for the email thing..why not send it again or phone to ask if there is a problem with their e-mail.

I also think the idea (see website) that your phobia can be cured after a single NLP session is suspect..yes they can treat straightaway if they sedate you but it wouldn't let you easily go elsewhere for care afterwards. Dental phobia is more like 'posttraumatic stress' than other phobias. Solution is usually to build a positive dentist-patient relationship you can stick with. This kind of dental TLC (being kind and cosiderate) is easily available in UK private sector so just visit a few practices, pick up their brochures, ask questions...shop around and then go where most appeals to you just for a meet and greet/check-up..draw up a shortlist.
 
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A

Ava

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Mar 11, 2009
Messages
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Hey Brit,

Thanks again for your reply :)

I thought about seeing my sis dentist when she started going and asked her to talk to the dentist and tell her I was afraid but the dentist didn't seem that keen and said they don't really deal with phobic people there so that put me off a little bit.

I know what you mean about the Bristol Dentist and I didn't like the way they don't have pics/profiles of their staff on their website but I was hoping to go somewhere where I could get I/V Sedation for the first time as im worried I will need ALOT done and im worried about freaking out if I have to have lots of seperate appointments.

Im really not sure why im acting like this as I had extractions / fillings with just local injections and I haven't got any horror stories related to them. Im sure if we had just kept going to the dentist I would be fine by now but I think it's the worry that I will need so much work done because i've left it. :confused:
 
brit

brit

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I think you need to keep youir options open...so do some research re alternative private dentists in your area and maybe keep BDAC in reserve (depends whether you can afford 2 check-ups really) or as a comparison point.
If you wanted to go to London it would open up options but we also have good recommendations in the SouthWest but ideally you'd find a kind caring competent dentist close to home and never look back. You probably don't need as much doing as you fear.

Try a BDA website search on your postcode looking for dentists offering i/v sedation or working with anxious patients - see if any come up.
 
brit

brit

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Is Bath too far away? Their approach is whatever works for you..may just be chatting through fears but sedation available if you want/need it.

[out-of-date link removed]
Or this in Bristol - no sedation but happy to help anxious patients overcome their fears according to website (seems to be a mixed NHS/private practice which is no longer taking on NHS patients)

https://www.stokebishop-dentalcentre.co.uk/
In Bristol again - sedation is available but willing to talk you through and go at your pace without as well.
 
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A

Ava

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Mar 11, 2009
Messages
72
Hey Brit,

That site looks brilliant and Bath isn't too far at all, my old uni stomping ground so I like to pop back from time to time! The prices look really reasonable as well and I like the fact that there are options to be sedated, im going to contact them and hopefully this time get a reply :)

I will keep you all posted.
 
A

Ava

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Mar 11, 2009
Messages
72
Just saw the further links for the Bristol dentists, im going to email them all as they look really good. I feel so much better now I have options, I was feeling a bit tied to the BDAC before!

If anyone has any experience of any of these Bath/Bristol dentists please let me know what you think?

Thanks all (esp Brit)
 
hdf2

hdf2

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May 9, 2007
Messages
332
Hi Ava and welcome to a great forum.

I can so relate to you and your sister!

My sister and I were brought up with our mum being afraid of the dentist, hence us both being scared too. years and years later, I'm still so afraid that i need all treatment done under Iv sedation :( My sister on the other hand, is now able to go and get treatment using just L/A...........great for her..but she forgets how petrified we both were. She has been lucky and obviously found a dentist she trusts longgggggggggg before I have! ( I found one i trust only a week ago :)

I have e-mailed this dentist for a couple of years, even tho he wasnt actually my dentist, ( we're in diff parts of the country) he was so helpfull, so I finally made an appointment and went to meet him. He seems just right for me. he has emailed and called me today just to say he will be in touch next week with a "plan" ( my heart was racing when I knew i was talking to my dentist lol)

be patient waiting for a reply, he/they may be very busy...........give it a couple of days and just email again.
Good luck
 
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Ava

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Mar 11, 2009
Messages
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Hey hdf2!

It sounds like our situations are so similar and it's good to know there may be hope in finding a sympathetic dentist even though it's taking me longer than my sis :)

Are you in the UK? Where were you going for the I/V sedation? I really think this is going to be the way forward for me in the beginning.
 
hdf2

hdf2

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Ava it has taken me longer.........and i will now have to travel...........an 8 hour round trip, but I feel it will be so worth it. Im in lancashire at the moment ( just moved here from the highlands of scotland) I'm going to glasgow to see my dentist. Iv sedation is the way for me at the moment............ but, with Mike's help......... who knows :)
 
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Ava

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Mar 11, 2009
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Thanks hdf2 :) I feel that im fairly prepared to travel to find someone im happy with as well (although hopefully not too far).
 
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