And there it is. My first bad experience.

[SolitudeIsBliss]

So I've just come home from an appointment with the maxillo-facial surgeon and I feel absolutely awful. The appointment went for about 10 minutes (at a cost of just under $250 dollars) and I was told that I probably have a cyst in my jaw and I need one of my wisdom teeth removed.

The surgeon was arrogant and unfriendly. For the first time since I started my journey, I felt looked down upon and treated like a lower class person because of the state of my teeth. I was saying something to him and he interrupted me and said: "you realise you have a cyst don't you?!". No one is explaining to me what that actually means and it's making me feel like my life is over. When the appointment ended, the surgeon didn't even say goodbye or anything, he just showed me to the door.

I have to get a cone beam scan because he can't conclude that I have a cyst from the 2D image and then see him again.

I feel like absolute trash for having bad teeth.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

OH my God Solitude..

I'm so very sorry you had this experience.. I don't understand how people can be so rude and insensitive especially when delivering news and having patients need to understand that and process and deal with it..

I would have walked out of there both angry and emotional sad.. and a bit shook

Says alot more about him and his lack of bedside manner or compassion than anything about you.. but I'm very sorry you had to go through this..

I had a radiology test a few days ago and the dr made me feel like a miserable failure and looked his face down at me and was very rude, didn't have time for me at all.. just spoke harsley from behind a glass wall.. I guess I know why he's in radiology and not family practice..

anyways Dr's like this with no bedside.. its so hard....Is he the only surgeon at the practice? can you request another or try to find another practice where they may be friendlier..

 

[Dg6300]

You demonstrated courage.

You will make it through this.

 

[Enarete]

So sorry to read this. This sounds really awful. Very inappropriate from a health care professional. Do you have any possibility to complain?

 

[Animalhouse]

So I've just come home from an appointment with the maxillo-facial surgeon and I feel absolutely awful. The appointment went for about 10 minutes (at a cost of just under $250 dollars) and I was told that I probably have a cyst in my jaw and I need one of my wisdom teeth removed.

The surgeon was arrogant and unfriendly. For the first time since I started my journey, I felt looked down upon and treated like a lower class person because of the state of my teeth. I was saying something to him and he interrupted me and said: "you realise you have a cyst don't you?!". No one is explaining to me what that actually means and it's making me feel like my life is over. When the appointment ended, the surgeon didn't even say goodbye or anything, he just showed me to the door.

I have to get a cone beam scan because he can't conclude that I have a cyst from the 2D image and then see him again.

I feel like absolute trash for having bad teeth.

So sorry to hear that you were treated so badly. It is definitely not okay. It reminds me of the time last year when I went to the gynecologist for a check up and the doctor made a note on my chart that mentioned my bad teeth. I'm not sure what my teeth have to do with lady parts but I felt truly devastated when I saw the visit summary online the next day.

Unfortunately we live in a world where people are quick to judge others over a whole host of things. If I were you, I would fine a different surgeon if you can. It's not worth the stress of having a doctor or dentist who doesn't make you feel comfortable.

 

[SolitudeIsBliss]

Thanks, everyone.

I still feel really crumby about yesterday and have spent most of the day in bed depressed. Dealing with dental health issues on top of your mental health issues and general life problems is really taxing. I have social anxiety so I'm hypersensitive to criticism. I've only been able to get through the treatments I've had is because my dentist and her assistant are so kind and non-judgemental. I knew I was going to face this treatment from specialists.

I'm going to talk to my dentist about it and try to get some sort of sense of what my options are in terms of seeing someone else. I don't really understand the system and I need a referral to see someone else, so I need someone to help me navigate this. Unfortunately, this surgeon is private and I kinda get the feeling that there is less consideration of rights/codes of conducts etc in private practice. In all public hospitals and health/social services, there are signs that explain your rights and what you can do if you are unhappy with things. Who am I supposed to complain to? It's his practice.

I saw my doctor this morning for something else to do with mental health-related matters. I was feeling awful and he picked up on it and wanted to know why I was distressed. Someone else was in the room, so I said to him I'll talk to him about it at another time. I had to do some health assessment thing and he went through a list of health issues. When my doctor came to dental he paused. I told him I am seeing a dentist. I'm wondering if I should talk to him about what my possible options are. Shame prevents me from discussing my dental problems with anyone other than my dentist.

It's interesting because I was looking at the google reviews of the surgeon in question and they were all five-star ratings and talked about how he was so kind and caring, as well as how much he explains everything. I'm actually wondering if these reviews are fake? The person I met was not the person being described in the reviews.

 

[soupy]

I really wish these practioners didn't act like this, and really have no idea why they do. On the very few times i have seen a medical specialist (i do not like being touched and avoid any kind of appointment i can) i have had the same thing. Sorry you were made to feel like this, if there is any possibility for you to change him for someone else, then it might be worth considering. I wish they would teach these guys how to deal with people, not just how to deal with ailments. So unpleasant to experience.

 

[SolitudeIsBliss]

Yeah, that's pretty much how I felt - like I'm a collection of components, some of which need fixing. Not like my mouth is actually attached to a person who might have feelings or concerns or questions or fears or anything like that.

I hope I can have a bit of a debrief with my dentist tomorrow and ask her about other options besides this guy.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

I hope she gives you some good other options Solitude.. i hear you when you've had a bad and invalidating experience and then see good reviews its really confusing.. and yeah are they real? I remember I went to a very rude oral surgeon once and didn't like his vibe at all, he was supposedly a friend of my dentist.. well the next time I had to get a tooth out and he wanted me to go back I was like noooo way. i researched reviews and found one that was less popular but had decent reviews and the guy was the best oral surgeon I would totally go back if needed.. my dentist had no clue who the guy was.. so doesn't hurt to do our research too and if you need a referral maybe she could give you one even though she doesn't know for your peace of mind.. ?

You are doing everything you can and are amazing in this journey!! You are an inspiration!!!

 

[Enarete]

What an awful experience, so sorry to read that. Please, talk about this to whatever health care professional you trust, I am sure they will all be on your side and offer you compassion and advice about how to deal with it. Your dentist will for sure be understanding and find a way for you to see someone else - after all your dental team knows you and supports you.
The other reason why your dental team should know is for them to make sure not to send their patients to that guy.

It's not a secret that seeing a doctor is distressing and when it comes to dental stuff even more. It's also not a secret that any dental situation is also a social situation and meeting new people can be scary in general, even without them wanting to see your teeth. And it's not a secret that a dentist is an authority and as a consequence we tend to be less able to offer resistance to inappropriate behavior.

What you describe is a no-no and unacceptable for a health care professional. What he did was not a criticism, it was degradation. It's a duty of a doctor to explain to you, in words you understand and in as much detail as you need, what your issues are. This really makes me angry..

So your options to complain. If the practice belongs to that guy than you could find out a dental council or association.. just the place that controls all dentists and examines if the dentist acted in accordance to his duties. Explaining to you what's wrong, what treatment is needed, what are the advantages and disadvantages should be legally required from a dentist and it doesn't sound like you got it. Sadly I do not know how things are regulated in your country.. maybe your dentist could give you a concrete advice.

Hope you can process this soon.

 

[SolitudeIsBliss]

********** UPDATE ***********

Well, I finally saw the other dental surgeon that I was referred on to today.

I was expecting the worst and it turned out to be a lot better than I thought. Although she wasn't overly friendly, she at least showed me respect, was courteous and open to questions. Compared to the last surgeon, I can live with that.

I have to go for a CT scan tomorrow to confirm a few things. Both surgeons I saw are confused because while it looks like I have a cyst, the tooth that is associated with the cyst is healthy and shows no signs commonly associated with having a cyst. So she said that it's possible that what looks like a cyst is just a shadow or some anomaly on the x-ray and it may just be a case of monitoring it.