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Annoyed and discouraged with the prospect of the lecture / how to react to it?

Lioness

Lioness

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Joined
Jul 10, 2016
Messages
64
Location
Poland
Annoyed and discouraged with the prospect of the lecture / how to react to it?

Good afternoon, everyone! :)


I must confess that, I guess, my worst dental fear is this whole “dental lecture”… I mean, all these “If you had come here earlier, I wouldn’t have so much work to do in your mouth!”

Yeah, I know it’s maybe true as I don’t come for the check-up often but… Gosh…! Really… All my life situation is not so easy. I don’t want to complain but I suffer from four-limbed spastic cerebral palsy, I can’t walk, I need almost constant help from other people (most often from my Parents), every month I struggle with strong premenstrual syndrome and all these matters are really debilitating for me.

And almost all of the dentists that I’ve met in my life were reading me a lecture or, at least, reproach me that “You come too rarely” or “This or that is bad”.

Argh! For goodness sake – why?! Though dentists are for helping people, not for scolding them as early as from the doorstep of the office. Or maybe just I am too great idealist?

While it’s true that I’d rather don’t expect chiding from my current Dentist… Erm, my question is how to react if it nevertheless will happen? How do you cope with such situations?

Personally, I feel like answering, “Well… You can play only the way your adversary allows you” as Polish football coach, Kazimierz Górski, once said.
 
Annoyed and discouraged with the prospect of the lecture / how to react to it?

Honestly, I'd react by finding another dentist. I started going to my current dentist after almost 8 years of not going and my teeth were in rough shape. I never got a lecture - because how would that have been helpful? Nobody deserves that.
 
Re: Annoyed and discouraged with the prospect of the lecture / how to react to it?

Ah, you think nobody deserves the lecture, FearfulInMA, and I truly agree with you! Unfortunately, I guess, the majority of dentists who I met in my life (3 of them, to be exact, one by one) believed the contrary. Maybe all they think that their line of work just requires scolding and preaching, that this is a part of their “occupational hazard”. ;)

And one of them, let’s call him “Doctor Chairman” decided that he’ll do all his work (3 cavities) during one appointment. I was feeling unwell that day but when I dared to ask him, “Do we have to do it all today?”, he replied firmly and almost gleefully, “Yes! We have to do ALL before your holidays”. I believed that the cavities weren’t so big to start hurting quickly but… what could I do? He decided, seemingly right, so he “took an immediate action”, like in “Little Shop of Horrors”… Who’d care about my general feeling?! And when he finished at last, he summed up sweetly but bossy, “Yes, it wasn’t easy but… Who knows? Maybe it’ll teach you something!” I was 23 years old then yet I felt that I was treated like a kid.
And when he saw my teeth for the first time, he asked my Parents, “Does she smoke sometimes? No?” and more to me, “So, what is it, huh? Coffee, tea, or maybe cocoa?”
“None of your business!” I thought to myself. “Not everyone has to have pearly-white teeth!”

OK, my teeth are not the whitest and the healthiest in the world, I’m not a freak of brushing them 3 times a day, to be honest sometimes once a day is enough for me, I just hate doing it more often, and I can’t stand buzzing, vibrating and tickling of an electric toothbrush, so I use a manual one. But I think a half of a loaf is better than no bread. Many people with cerebral palsy and sensory processing disorders can’t tolerate any brushing or touching.

Yes, I know, my current Dentist, Doctor Kamil, is nice and understanding but what if he’ll also start grumbling when I'll show up soon, “What have I told you? I’ve asked you to come after Christmas and it’s July now!”

But my life is not easy, Doctor. If I had could come earlier, I’d do it!
 
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Re: Annoyed and discouraged with the prospect of the lecture / how to react to it?

And my answer when a patient feels guilt or shame for not coming sooner.

What counts is your are here today so how might I best help you now?
 
Re: Annoyed and discouraged with the prospect of the lecture / how to react to it?

 

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