• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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Appointment on the 1st



Junior member
Apr 28, 2022
Hello I'm new here! Prefacing this with: I have not been to a dentist in 8 years due to finances.

5 months ago my right upper wisdom tooth got decay as it grew in. The decay literally fell out of my tooth with oil pulling, big black chunk just came out. It left an empty cavity with fluorosis marks on the edges of the hole. It didn't hurt and with the decay gone there was no immediate danger. I could not afford a dentist much less a 3$ pack of gum I've been so broke.

I made sure to clean my teeth well always have (rinse after fruits and sugar, brush 30 min after that, brush atleast 2 times a day, coconut oil pull daily, weekly salt water rinse, drink lots of water, use water pick to gently clean between teeth) I rarely Eat sugar. We only have sugar 10 days of the year. Christmas, Christmas eve, and each family members birthday and the leftovers the day after. All my drinks I drink with a straw except hot teas when sick.

On the first of next month a dentist office in town is offering free dental on one tooth per patient. I need to get my tooth fixed so I want to go. There's finally some pain when anything cold or hot hits inside the tooth, I don't see any change but I'm worried it may be getting worse.

I am terrified of what the dentist will say, of how they will handle my anxiety or tourettes. There's been bad reviews about the male doctors there having bad bedside manners to disabled patients. I have PTSD from sexual, verbal and physical abuse as a child from my "father", Men unfortunately give me anxiety. So I'm terrified I'll be yelled at for having a cavity or for the brown spots from tea stains. If the dentist gets mad I know it won't go well for me.

I struggle to leave my house its panic attacks all the way out the door. My tooth is giving me so much anxiety I'm getting physically ill from it, but going to the dentist gives me more. Im worried I'll chicken out, I'm terrified. I don't know how to manage my anxiety, I just want my tooth fixed and for it all to be over.

My upper left wisdom has a tiny chip in enamel from tourettes and a fork, leaving a shallow dimple like hole which I'll have to get fixed someday too but I'm not too immediately concerned about if I keep it clean since it's so small and shallow. But when I can afford to get that fixed it'll be the same thing all over again.

How do I prepare myself for this appointment and how do I get through it without choking on a panic attack?
Dear Rosebell

:welcome: to DFC. First off I'm so sorry you have had to go through all the abuse, from one abuse survorivor to another.. I hear you and I KNOW how this really does have an effect on dental anxiety.
Its very hard to trust someone in the dental chair its a vulnerable place to be. and hard to put yourself there.

You mentioned males being especially hard. Do you have a female dentist you could go to?

The shame factor in dentistry and being afraid of what they will say is a big one. I used to imagine that they would all be laughing as I walked out the door. or in the breakroom laughing.. most likely they are not but my shame would overtake me and think. they really think I'm rotten for this.

If you ased nearly any dentist , and I've actually done quite a few interviews and consults trying to find good dentists. and alot are friendly caring people who just want to help people get their teeth in right order and feel good and be empowered.

Its such a huge step you are taking so really great job getting up the courage to go , that is really nice of that dentist to offer that too, so maybe that is a sign of compassion . lets believe the best on that! :) I really hope this goes well and you can have a positive dental experience. Finding a kind caring dentist really can make all the difference in the world.

Try to take one day at a time and give yourself credit for every step along the way! You are doing great so far!!
@krlovesherkids777 Thank you for the reply! Unfortunately my town has no female dentists or doctors. Nurses and dental hygenists are female dominated positions here though or child family doctors.

I'm both sorry you have to go through the same things but also glad to know I'm not alone in this. From one survivor to another, your feelings are valid and I'm glad we both survived. We are strong we are fighters. I see you I understand you and I love you human to human.

Now unfortunately I worked up my courage for nothing, this appointment has been cancelled. We're working with my worker to try and get my disability dental and will go to a different dental clinic. The receptionist was rude when we called to ask questions to prepare, and we were warned by our neighbourhood watch group the clinic has a bad history of not respecting consent and pulling the wrong teeth. Heavy malpractice with POC or disabled patients. So I dodged a bullet there that could have been a disaster.

My mother has also fallen ill 7 days ago we didn't realize it until today when it got worse, we luckily have not been out since. so we are going full household into quarentine for 14 days then seeing a doctor first. Then we are seeing about a new appointment elsewhere.

Honestly I'm scared I won't get another opportunity to get this fixed and I feel so discouraged that I got my courage up and was so prepared, made a schedule, planned for the worst even for nothing. Life really knows how to kick a person when they are down.

I still am going to stick around this forum to work up my courage for when the next opportunity arised. I'm not giving up that easy. I'm determined to live teeth wise, pain free, finally.

Sorry I didn't see this until today. I hope you and your family are well and your mom is feeling better sorry to hear she fell ill! Aghh. that is so disappointing about this clinic that they were rude and also cancelled your appt.. I am really glad you found out though before any work. I’m glad you were spared a possible bad experience before you went and hope your worker will find you another place in a quick way. As hard as it is to find out and have to get the courage going all over again. The fact is you got the courage up and you are really putting yourself out there and that is amazing. It is hard.. you have to give yourelf a ton of credit..! I hope you do! :grouphug:
Good luck, on wards and upwards