A
anonymousdoe
Junior member
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2025
- Messages
- 3
- Location
- USA
I just joined a few minutes ago, so sorry if I’m doing this wrong.
My teeth have been extremely broken (many are fully dead) for years on end now, but becoming ‘able’ to see someone about it just isn’t in the cards for me.
I’m not getting into my entire situation but I am totally and permanently disabled by C-PTSD — the fact that I’m an incomplete quadriplegic and low vision are barely even an afterthought in comparison, and not what I consider a disability at all because there are workarounds for both (my wheelchair, my stick, etc.)
Over the past ~14 years that I’ve been on my own (since age 13) I’ve tried every single available long- and short-acting anxiety medication, none had anything but a traumatizing “”paradoxical”” (aka caused major crisis for very good, personal reasons) effect if any at all, and a list of about 70 other non-PRN medications, which did nothing. I’m beyond the point that any form of sedation is an option I can even consider trying again, I’m sitting here in my living room right now actually vomiting just at typing the words.
I’ve been handed off all over the country for different specialist placements and put through dozens upon dozens of ‘treatment’ options for my general level of disability, all of which only made it permanently worse. After about a decade, I stopped being able to get through discussions *about* the process of those therapies and treatments without violence, vomiting, seizures, blackouts, and much worse, and as of about five years ago I can no longer think of those concepts as abstractions—absolutely cannot take the risk of being in any situation that even might lead to someone suggesting I be in an actual room with a provider again.
That’s relevant to my teeth and it’s not, the point is just that therapy-ing my way into being able to fix them isn’t going to work. Treatments and failed placements exacerbated my overall level of disability to the point of being completely unable to do basic ADLs, but sedation also isn’t an option for personal reasons.
I’m finding now as of the past 10 years or so that every day, it gets worse, only because I’m in a 24/7/365 physical reliving of genuinely thousands of events that are more than just retraumatizing. I can’t have my own hands on or near myself anymore, I can’t carry things on my person (must be in a bag or pocket,) I have full on screaming, self-violent (trying to kms to protect myself) breakdowns and seizures just from objects making contact with me like acorns falling from trees or something flinging at my while I try to cook. I start my day at the point of no return and there’s just nothing that brings me back even to where the day started once it progresses, let alone ‘better’ or ‘helps’ anything.
I know that someday my teeth are going to kill me. I’m really hoping it just happens suddenly and it’s over, but I’m terrified something like a stroke (I’ve had several TIAs) or heart attack will happen from spreading infections while I’m in public and I won’t be able to protect myself from someone calling 911. Captivity yet again will be an absolute end of life causing scenario for me and not in the way I’d need it to be.
The most concerning problem with my teeth:
-Back left wisdom tooth died years ago (the right only just started recently.) It hasn’t been painful for years as well but more and more pieces keep breaking off and tonight, what I think will be the second to last piece just fell off. Didn’t even bleed. The pulp it left behind is all dead and strawlike but I still always worry when new pieces fall off. I know this tooth can lead to sepsis at any time but whenever something changes, I worry it’s a ‘new’ path for that to happen any day now and as much as I want that to be the end of me, I’m terrified it won’t be quick.
The tooth itself is barely there anymore but there’s a little bit hanging on, with a very wide gap to the one in front of it that just has that papery/straw texture dead pulp and then smooth gum.
The problems with seeing someone:
-All of it. I can’t be in a reclined position even in my own house behind all my locks. Sedation is no different to inviting my entire upbringing to happen again. Contact will never be possible. Being in a room with another person is already beyond what I can handle, but if I think they even might intend to get anywhere closer than several yards away from me or talk to me ‘about it’ is infinitely worse. The title of any sort of medical professional means I will end my life trying to protect myself from being in their eyesight or thoughts whatsoever.
-Added challenge is not having any way to get to or from, in some other world where the rest was possible. I don’t have a single other person in my life, for good reason, but I know the places around here aren’t close enough to push myself.
Extra added challenges in that impossible fantasy world:
-finding a professional who understands ASL, as I’m completely mute apart from the reflexive screaming and have been for my entire life;
-wheelchair accessibility;
-cost (I have $81 in the bank and pay 97% of my disability income on renting my house, don’t have medicaid anymore and can’t get it back.) I live out in the middle of nowhere off the outskirts of an extremely rural town. There is no free dental clinic or payment plan offerings out here
-scheduling, because I have daily daylong-to-many dayslong blackouts that I didn’t know have been there for my entire life until I was told in 2017. I would never be able to handle knowing that an extraction might happen during those times, but there’s also no way to guarantee when those times will (more importantly: won’t) be
-lack of ID, and because of my status, no way to prove I was born here to get any
I don’t even know why I’m writing this but I’m just in a panic trying to make my last arrangements right now. So has anyone had success with preventing the infection from either starting or spreading from a tooth like this? I need more time to fix my house up and remove any identifying stuff before something potentially happens with this tooth that leads to my death.
Thanks x
My teeth have been extremely broken (many are fully dead) for years on end now, but becoming ‘able’ to see someone about it just isn’t in the cards for me.
I’m not getting into my entire situation but I am totally and permanently disabled by C-PTSD — the fact that I’m an incomplete quadriplegic and low vision are barely even an afterthought in comparison, and not what I consider a disability at all because there are workarounds for both (my wheelchair, my stick, etc.)
Over the past ~14 years that I’ve been on my own (since age 13) I’ve tried every single available long- and short-acting anxiety medication, none had anything but a traumatizing “”paradoxical”” (aka caused major crisis for very good, personal reasons) effect if any at all, and a list of about 70 other non-PRN medications, which did nothing. I’m beyond the point that any form of sedation is an option I can even consider trying again, I’m sitting here in my living room right now actually vomiting just at typing the words.
I’ve been handed off all over the country for different specialist placements and put through dozens upon dozens of ‘treatment’ options for my general level of disability, all of which only made it permanently worse. After about a decade, I stopped being able to get through discussions *about* the process of those therapies and treatments without violence, vomiting, seizures, blackouts, and much worse, and as of about five years ago I can no longer think of those concepts as abstractions—absolutely cannot take the risk of being in any situation that even might lead to someone suggesting I be in an actual room with a provider again.
That’s relevant to my teeth and it’s not, the point is just that therapy-ing my way into being able to fix them isn’t going to work. Treatments and failed placements exacerbated my overall level of disability to the point of being completely unable to do basic ADLs, but sedation also isn’t an option for personal reasons.
I’m finding now as of the past 10 years or so that every day, it gets worse, only because I’m in a 24/7/365 physical reliving of genuinely thousands of events that are more than just retraumatizing. I can’t have my own hands on or near myself anymore, I can’t carry things on my person (must be in a bag or pocket,) I have full on screaming, self-violent (trying to kms to protect myself) breakdowns and seizures just from objects making contact with me like acorns falling from trees or something flinging at my while I try to cook. I start my day at the point of no return and there’s just nothing that brings me back even to where the day started once it progresses, let alone ‘better’ or ‘helps’ anything.
I know that someday my teeth are going to kill me. I’m really hoping it just happens suddenly and it’s over, but I’m terrified something like a stroke (I’ve had several TIAs) or heart attack will happen from spreading infections while I’m in public and I won’t be able to protect myself from someone calling 911. Captivity yet again will be an absolute end of life causing scenario for me and not in the way I’d need it to be.
The most concerning problem with my teeth:
-Back left wisdom tooth died years ago (the right only just started recently.) It hasn’t been painful for years as well but more and more pieces keep breaking off and tonight, what I think will be the second to last piece just fell off. Didn’t even bleed. The pulp it left behind is all dead and strawlike but I still always worry when new pieces fall off. I know this tooth can lead to sepsis at any time but whenever something changes, I worry it’s a ‘new’ path for that to happen any day now and as much as I want that to be the end of me, I’m terrified it won’t be quick.
The tooth itself is barely there anymore but there’s a little bit hanging on, with a very wide gap to the one in front of it that just has that papery/straw texture dead pulp and then smooth gum.
The problems with seeing someone:
-All of it. I can’t be in a reclined position even in my own house behind all my locks. Sedation is no different to inviting my entire upbringing to happen again. Contact will never be possible. Being in a room with another person is already beyond what I can handle, but if I think they even might intend to get anywhere closer than several yards away from me or talk to me ‘about it’ is infinitely worse. The title of any sort of medical professional means I will end my life trying to protect myself from being in their eyesight or thoughts whatsoever.
-Added challenge is not having any way to get to or from, in some other world where the rest was possible. I don’t have a single other person in my life, for good reason, but I know the places around here aren’t close enough to push myself.
Extra added challenges in that impossible fantasy world:
-finding a professional who understands ASL, as I’m completely mute apart from the reflexive screaming and have been for my entire life;
-wheelchair accessibility;
-cost (I have $81 in the bank and pay 97% of my disability income on renting my house, don’t have medicaid anymore and can’t get it back.) I live out in the middle of nowhere off the outskirts of an extremely rural town. There is no free dental clinic or payment plan offerings out here
-scheduling, because I have daily daylong-to-many dayslong blackouts that I didn’t know have been there for my entire life until I was told in 2017. I would never be able to handle knowing that an extraction might happen during those times, but there’s also no way to guarantee when those times will (more importantly: won’t) be
-lack of ID, and because of my status, no way to prove I was born here to get any
I don’t even know why I’m writing this but I’m just in a panic trying to make my last arrangements right now. So has anyone had success with preventing the infection from either starting or spreading from a tooth like this? I need more time to fix my house up and remove any identifying stuff before something potentially happens with this tooth that leads to my death.
Thanks x
