ashamed of my bad teeth, saturday i will go to the dentist!!!

[mariuscia]

Hello i'm 32 years old and it’s been about 8 years since i last went to the dentist. When i was younger I always had problems that caused me anxiety with my teeth: cavities, extractions etc... and i met a rude dentist that made me feel fearful and ashamed of myself... In the last few years my teeth caused me a lot of anguish, i stopped smiling, i avoided relationships, i have pain chewing food, it impacts my life in a huge negative way.


Last week I booked an appointment with a dentist, it's scheduled on 11 February. I'm proud of myself because i want to start a new better life but i’m also very anxious. I’m not scared of pain but i feel real terror to show others my bad teeth. I fear the dentist will make bad comments about my situation and tell me im a stupid and disgusting.

In the upper arch i have 1 already extracted tooth, 1 lost tooth and 3 broken teeth with holes in it. In the lower arch, i have 2 already extracted teeth and about 4 lost teeth and another 1 badly broken. and im sure they will discover some other cavities.. they are yellow because i smoke a lot and theres tartar. plus i always hated myself because i have crooked teeth and i'd need braces.

I'm really scared and i
just needed to talk to somebody because i never told nobody about this situation and i needed to get it off my chest. thank you for reading (also sorry for my english), i'm happy to have find this forum. When i found out other people are in my situation i felt like crying.

 

[Sevena]

Well done for making an appointment, that was really brave.

If a dentist makes you feel at all ashamed, they are a terrible dentist, and you should know that you don't have to suffer that. You can walk right out the door, and search for another dentist. A good dentist should be kind and patient and understanding.

It might help if you explain your situation to the dentist beforehand. Lots of people avoid the dentist out of fear and embarrassment, and lots of people have teeth needing lots of treatment. The most important thing is that you're taking steps to sort it out, and if anyone tries to make you feel bad then they're wrong. It takes real courage to do what you're doing.

Good luck

 

[jbkb]

I can sympathise a lot. I'm so sorry you feel so bad.

I have hated my teeth since I was a teenager. Mainly because I took very good care of them but still had issues - I've been told I'm just 'unlucky' and have weak teeth and I'm prone to cavities. I got my first filling and a crown when I was 21. More fillings in my mid 20s. I don't smoke but my teeth are naturally very yellow, people have asked me if I smoke and commented on how discoloured they are (nice of them!!!).

I avoided the dentist for years then had a horrible experience with one who lectured me on having gone years without check ups then casually told me my crown was leaking and infected and I'd lose the tooth. I was so upset and he acted as if it was no big deal and as if I was overreacting. Then implied if I'd come in sooner, I might not have lost the tooth so I could only blame myself.

I eventually found a GREAT dentist who specialises in fearful patients. She did a filling repair and removed the crown, extracted the infected tooth and was very kind and helpful.

However I'm now a year on and have to face going back - I should have gone before but didn't want to - as I have two cavities (I think) and another cracked tooth and a chipped filling. Plus I need to look at an implant due to my gap making it hard to eat etc. I put off going back as I was dealing with a bad relationship and traumatic break up. My self esteem has hit rock bottom and I feel I overcame a lot having the treatment last year but now I'm back to square one

I am really trying to face my fear and get my teeth healthy again, and then look at improving their appearance. I'm a bit overwhelmed at all the work I need to have done but I've been advised on here to take it one step at a time, one appointment at a time. I encourage you to take the same approach.

Lastly, I'll just add that I NEVER judge people on their teeth as I truly understand how it feels to be unhappy with them and too bloody scared to get treatment. Lots of people share your fear, people on this forum understand and empathise (and a good dentist should care too). Several of my friends I always thought had perfect teeth, when I told them I was planning to get mine fixed/have some work done, it turned out that all three of them had had veneers/adult braces/bleaching.

You can do this! Taking the first step is brave. Keep going forward. Keep us all posted on how you're doing (I have my first appointment next week and will be posting about it too). Hugs.

 

[mariuscia]

Thank you very much for your answers, i really appreciate you took your time to reply me.
Sevena thank you for the kind words, i took notice of your advice and i will explain my situation before i open my mouth!!


Jbkb thanks for sharing your story and your encouragement, i'm sorry too for your situation and your fear. I hope to find a great dentist too, unfortunately i did not find a dentist specialized in anxious patients but i hope he will be fine just the same. These days i'm having lots of doubts aside from that and i was thinking about many things, what if they can't repair my teeth? i'm worried about the money and also about putting braces on..
but you're right when you say to take it one step at a time.. it's good enough im going to the appointment, let's see what happens.. I understand it when you say you are feeling low self esteem, i suffered from depression most time of my life. now i'm better and i hope we can both make it through this situation and find stability.

Good luck for your appointment next week, i will let you know how it went mine.

 

[mariuscia]

Hello! So this morning i went to the dentist! i had real terror, i was almost fainting! I told them about my situation and i have to say they treated me kind and tried to make me feel at ease... I also made a radiography. The doctor said my situation is complex, i need to extract 2 wisdom teeth and other 3 molars . Plus i need to devitalize 2 teeth. He told me that before putting some implants on i should talk to an orthodontist to adjust my severe overbite but he was not sure it could work out.
I'm sad because i left my mouth in this situation but i'm also positive about treatment. All in all now i feel better and i'm happy i went, i feel stupid not going before. So that's all for now, i'm relieved i overcame my fear.. I suffered so much stress today that i have fever now.

 

[Sevena]

Yay, you did it! Good job.

I know it's daunting thinking about all that treatment, but just take it day by day. You've got this.

 

[jbkb]

Sorry I didn't reply before now, thank you for your message

YAY, I'm so happy you went and great through it. You should be very proud. I haven't had a huge amount of work done (yet) but I did have an extraction last year so to give you one perspective: it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Inthink we do build things up as worse than they are. At least now you have a plan to work on, take it step by step.

I have my appointment tomorrow and I'm scared but determined to do it.

Keep us posted!! Hugs to you.

 

[mariuscia]

Thank you so much for your support!! It means a lot to
me and it's helping me so much.. Yeah i'm so relieved i went, i'm happy and more calm now.

Jbkb good luck i'm sure everything will be fine! You've been strong until now.. It's difficult to face this fear but after the first appoinment everything is easier then.
Let me know!! Hugs

 

[jbkb]

Just to update you, I had my appointment today and although I was sweating loads and trying not to cry, I got in the chair and was told I'must fine! No fillings needed, I have a healthy mouth. I'm so so relieved. I've not had the all clear from a dentist since I was a teenager (I'm now 33).

There are some things I'll need done in future - made my first hygienist appointment ever, to get rid of some stubborn plaque; possibly have an old filling replaced with white and a chip repaired; I'm going to look at getting an implant this year as well to replace my lost molar. I feel really positive after having worried for so long.

 

[mariuscia]

Hi thanks for your update, i'm happy it went well!! That's really good! My next appointment is in about two weeks for a clearing too. And then i will have to go to probably hundreds of other appointments lol. I think in the future will very important to go to periodical checkups also if it stressful. Bye i hope you all the best

 

[jbkb]

Yes, I'm really going to try to go regularly now, I hope then any other problems will be found and fixed early! Good luck too

 

[pjop]

Thank you both for this thread. I am right there with you both. Last saw the dentist in 2001 (before today). At that time I had a temporary crown placed and never went back for the permanent one. Ironically enough, I snapped off the temporary one flossing....probably over 10 years ago. In the last 6 months or so I have had 2 teeth that cracked and I think it was due to infection because there was pressure and pain built up and I got immediate relief when the crack occurred. Sooooo, 2 days ago, I woke up with what I thought was an abscess. My tooth was sensitive to touch (one of the cracked ones) and the gum above very swollen and tender and even causing facial swelling. I knew I couldn't put off seeing the dentist any longer. Amazingly enough I called the dentist I saw in 2001 and they got me in the same day. I have some serious anxiety about going to the dentist. I was shaking and felt my heart about to beat out of my chest while I was there and even worse than that, I feel so ashamed and afraid of being judged. They had to pull out part of my cracked tooth (half of it was loose) and I have to go back next week. Honestly, as weird as it sounds, I am almost glad this happened because I knew something like this had to happen in order to make me go. So, even though I'm still afraid of what work has to be done (my mouth is a hot mess) and afraid of judgement....I am so relieved to have gotten over this initial hurdle. AND I am so thankful to have found this forum because it really does help so much to know that I am not alone in my fear! Thank you both and thanks to everyone who has taken the time to join this forum and post! I am truly so thankful!
Pam

 

[jbkb]

I know what you mean! It took the infection getting really bad to make me finally go. Then I had to find another dentist as the first one I saw made me cry!!

It's not a fun experience getting things fixed but the right dentist can make it an okay experience. And the relief is really a lovely feeling, as you're describing. Do your very best to go through with it, one step at a time and even small steps are going to move you closer to having a healthy mouth and being free of worry.

 

[mariuscia]

Hi Pam.. Thanks for commenting! I'm glad this post was helpful to you. Yes there are so many good people in here and reading about similar experiences about this fear can really make a big difference. I didn't fully realize i could help somebody else since i was feeling such a mess myself ! I guess that if i managed to go the dentist with my desperate mouth, everybody can do it lol. Actually what it's weird for me is that many times i kinda hoped to break a front tooth or something like that so that i would have been feeling forced to go to repair it because it was so visible. Instead i always had problems with molars and other back teeth. During the years i learned all possible expedients to chew with less pain possible. Hey that sounds so crazy now. Of course i felt self conscious with other people because my front teeth are yellow and i have a bad overbite but it was not enough for me to face this huge fear before.. During this week i found really helpful to talk about my fears with some friends and family.. You really feel free of a burden and now i can also joke about it. Fear is really ugly. Please feel free to update and tell us how it proceeds. Good luck!

 

[shamed shane]

Thank you to everyone for this thread. When I was 18 I had an unpleasant dental experience and never went back until I was 26. Between that time one of my bottom molars cracked open and has been getting worse every year. At the dental appointment at 26, I got 10 filings throughout my mouth. The cracked molar was so bad that they said I needed to get an extraction vs a RCT. Shortly after that, I was no longer on dental insurance. I didn't go back to the dentist until this year, now I'm 30. At the appointment I was told I had gingivitis and was also told that I needed to get my wisdom teeth and that cracked molar extracted. 6 months later I'm going back to that dentist next week and just scheduled my extractions for May. I am curious to see how my gums are now because I have taken obsessive care of them since my last appointment. I'm hoping that I have reversed the gingivitis. I'll know more Tuesday.

My fear and anxiety about my teeth keep me awake at night. And I constantly check them and think about them. I'm hoping that the dentist has positive things to tell me. I'm very worried about how bad that cracked molar has gotten. I'm worried that it has affected my overall health and has caused permanent damage. I've spent too much time googling tooth decay and googling gum disease. I need some clarity.

But thank you again for sharing your story. These stories and comments are offering me some of that clarity I need to calm down.