• Dental Phobia Support

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Autistic Adult with sensory sensitivites



Junior member
Sep 8, 2019
Hello all

I am new here, just Registered.

I am Autistic and find going to the Dentists extremely challenging as I find people, situations and places difficult to cope with.

I only told my Dentists that I am Autistic last year after years of difficulty due to a particularly difficult time which coincided with a Dental Appointment.

Unfortunately, my Dentist is now telling me exactly what they are doing at every stage, something which actually makes me more nervous.

I know I need to explain to my Dentist that they only need to explain certain things, for example, during a Check up, let me know if they find a tooth that needs a replacement filling, I know what is involved in the procedure so I do not require every step to be stated.

Seems simple enough, unfortunately, perception is a major thing for me and I am afraid of how my Dentist will respond.

To top things off my Inlay fell out on Saturday morning during Brushing and Mouthwash and I am going to have to contact my Dentist in the morning to see if they have any appointments available.

I am really hoping it is just going to be a matter of re-cementing the Inlay in place.

Also, my regular Dentist has been on leave and is not coming back until October which means I will have to see another Dentist, hopefully female as I have difficulty dealing with males, one I am not familiar with and who does not know me.

I will end this message here as it seems to have turned into a bit of a tome, sorry about that.

Thanks in advance for any advice.
Honestly do not worry in the slightest about telling the dentist what level of information you prefer. It can be hard for us to judge and certainly I’d far rather know so I can behave accordingly! It’s far better knowing than unwittingly causing upset.

Hopefully you’ll get your inlay sorted easily. It’s be worth asking reception if there would be any way you could see a female dentist but obviously it may not always be possible.
Hello Mike

Thanks for the reply.

I was told in August that a female Dentist had taken on my Dentists appointments until she returns in October, hopefully that is still the case, I guess I will find out tomorrow.

I know I need to tell the Dentists the level of information I need and i do intend to tell them but it is really not going to be easy.

There is one member of staff who i have known for 40 years now so maybe I could speak to her, if she is available,

There is one member of staff who i have known for 40 years now so maybe I could speak to her, if she is available,

This is a very good idea, she will surely be happy to give this information to your dentist.
Aspie, I read on another thread about someone who wrote a letter to give to the dentist stating all their concerns. Just a thought - maybe you could do this? Good luck. ?

Sorry for not replying sooner.

I spoke to the member of staff that i know and she advised me to put all my concerns into an email or letter and send it to the Practice Manager.

I chose email as i am able to go over it multiple times to make sure it says what i want it to say.

The email text is below:


Hello ******

Sorry for bothering you.

I spoke to ***** this afternoon concerning the way I am treated when I see my Dentist (******).

In October 2018 I finally told the Dental Surgery, with the help of an Advocate about my Autism, sensitivity to touch, pain etc.

Shortly after this happened I had an appointment with ****** who talked me through every small step of what she was doing, sort of how Dentists speak to children to make them feel more at ease, something which really did not help and made me more anxious.

Unfortunately, because of the way my brain works my whole life is in the present so the appointment I had in October 2018 may as well happened this morning.

The reason I told the Dental Surgery about my issues in the first place is that I would go for a Check Up and the next thing I would know is that ****** was starting work on a tooth including an Injection without any forewarning of what was happening which made me extremely anxious.

Whilst being talked through every step of what is happening is really not helpful, what would be would that if for example, if I went for a Check Up and work was required on a tooth, tell me what is required, for example, a filling needs replacing or a tooth needs a crown etc.

I know what the procedures involve and so I would just need to know what is happening before it proceeds and for any procedure I was not sure about I could ask before the procedure started.

Hopefully the above makes sense.

Perception is a major issue for me as in how will people see me if I say anything etc. which is why I have struggled so long with saying anything about this.

Thankfully, I have known ***** for over 40 years now and she is very easy for me to talk to and her advice is why I am sending this email, hopefully it will help.

I have an appointment tomorrow morning at 10:10 with ***** since my Inlay fell out over the weekend which is going to be difficult since I have difficulty dealing with people I do not know, however, it is a necessity since ****** is not back until October.

Thanks in advance and for your time.

***** ******


Do you think the above email is alright?

I have an appointment tomorrow morning for the Inlay so hopefully everything will go fine.

I also have a Counselling appointment on Wednesday so that may be useful.

Hiya, your e-mail makes perfect sense to me. Hopefully your dental team will be able to work with you better in future.
You don't sound difficult to treat. Just need to find the right office for you and you will settle in nicely.
I think your email sounds great! And it's so awesome that you're able to articulate what you need to feel safe and comfortable. Advocating for yourself is brave! Best of luck!
Hello all

Well, i saw the Locum Dentist on Tuesday and thankfully there was no damage to the tooth so it was just a matter of re-cementing the Inlay in place.

The Dentist did say that if the Inlay keeps on falling out then it may be time to have a new one fitted.

The Inlay was initially fitted in 2013 and fell out for the first time in July 2018 and then this week so it seems to be holding up quite well, hopefully it will stay in place for a good while before I have any more issues with it.

I also managed to speak to the Practice Manager whilst I was there who had spoken to the Dentist prior to my appointment and she has said that she will speak to my regular Dentist when she returns and prior to my next appointment on 1 October for a check up, hopefully all will be good and I will not need anything else doing.

I tend to be able to better express myself in writing (type) than I can verbally, unless I know the person I am speaking to.

Great news re the inlay and it sounds like you’ve found a way for future treatment that should make things more comfortable for you :)
Its really easy to freeze and loose your thought and words when actually in the dental chair or office. To me I go from 50 to about 15 somehow as soon as I walk in the door. Its getting easier now that I have a dentist I trust.. and have momentum and history with.. but.. its still hard. All the best to you Aspie!!