Awful experience at new dentist, now I want to die

[hatemyself]

Bad news this time unfortunately.

Yes, it's me, hatemyself, the depressive phobic you all know and love on this forum.

I went to the new dentists for a check up and it was awful. I was freaking out in the waiting room so I did a bit of meditation which helped.

I go into the room and this woman doesn't even say anything to me she just ushers me into the chair and sticks xray things in my mouth. She says NOTHING about what this is for, says LITERALLY NOTHING TO ME. She starts on the other one and I gag a bit because it's quite far deep in my mouth and when I try and push her hand away SHE PUSHES BACK DOWN ON THE XRAY THING AND PUSHES IT DEEPER INTO MY MOUTH. I was literally shocked, it was such a cruel, unnecessary thing to do. Then she says 'we have to do this for all new patients'

I refuse to go back in the chair. She sees me clench the arm rests, she sees the teddy bear I clutch for support. She tried to make me go down. She makes me feel so uncomfortable and scared I consider getting up and walking out then and there. I start to cry. She says nothing.

She says 'come on you can beat this fear', but only because she wanted me in and out as quick as possible. I look at her like wtf? this fear can't be solved with just gritting your teeth and getting through it. I say 'Can you treat me as gently as possible please as I am extremely phobic?' and she said 'I am!' defensively, like she was being oh so warm.

Anyway, upside was I don't need any fillings so it's all good.

But I cried when I came out. I phoned my brother and he wasn't much help, he was just like 'well, you've got it done now' but all I could think about was how she kept pushing the xray thing into my mouth whilst I was struggling against her.

Heeeeere comes the depressive part, so hold on folks!

I just feel like every day I try so hard, to connect with people, to be brave, to do something new and nothing EVER EVER happens. I try so hard - harder than most people have to try my age - I am so so strong - but nothing ever happens. I can see the future. I can see what will happen, the grey endless bleakness that will be the rest of this year, next year, next year... every year after that. I already know what will happen. Nothing. nothing. And i'll get depressed again.

I just don't know why I should try anymore.

Psychiatrist appt is in two weeks. Hopefully they'll put me on mood stabilisers so I won't, y'know, kill myself.

That's all for now folks.

No teddy bear emoji from me this time. The world is too dark a place.

 

[Enarete]

So sorry to hear that.. you have done everything right and the dentist deserves a punch in the face.

I have found something you wrote, not that long ago.. and it seems to me that you haven't written it for the other member, but actually for your future self:

Severe depression - don't want to be here

Hello to anyone who is reading, I just need to vent because I'm not coping again. I'm sure this tooth will be the death of me. I can't cope with the devastation that at some point I will lose my tooth to extraction. I've done this to myself. The result of ignoring tooth sensitivity, avoiding...

www.dentalfearcentral.org

You have connected to the lovely people here in the community and they are all here for you and they all believe in you, no matter what.

 

[tazey]

Sorry to hear you had to go through that the dentist was well out of order (someone not to go back to),its hard not being able to see a future I'm stuggling with that myself right now.

 

[Anxious76]

I’m so sorry for your experience. Please go to a hospital if you are feeling desperate to harm yourself.

 

[hatemyself]

So sorry to hear that.. you have done everything right and the dentist deserves a punch in the face.

I have found something you wrote, not that long ago.. and it seems to me that you haven't written it for the other member, but actually for your future self:

Severe depression - don't want to be here

Hello to anyone who is reading, I just need to vent because I'm not coping again. I'm sure this tooth will be the death of me. I can't cope with the devastation that at some point I will lose my tooth to extraction. I've done this to myself. The result of ignoring tooth sensitivity, avoiding...

www.dentalfearcentral.org

You have connected to the lovely people here in the community and they are all here for you and they all believe in you, no matter what.

Thank you so so much. I particularly liked the punch part!! I'd fucking punch her if I saw it again.

Sorry for writing all these awful things... I don't want to be seen as a burden because of the awful, depressing things I say. Thank you so much for your replies.

It's hard keeping faith, though. Keeping going. Having hope that things will get better. When they never do. I've been in a particularly low mood for the past month or so and it's wearing me down. It's all I can think about day to day.

The only thing I look forward to in my life now is the psychiatrist appt because then they can sort me out. Haha. It sounds sad but that's the truth.

Thank you again and I hope you are doing well.

 

[hatemyself]

I’m so sorry for your experience. Please go to a hospital if you are feeling desperate to harm yourself.

Thank you. I do indeed consider going to A&E when I am suicidal. I have only been actively suicidal once, but after that instance I resolved to go to A&E instead when I'm in that state.

I feel so alone.

 

[hatemyself]

Sorry to hear you had to go through that the dentist was well out of order (someone not to go back to),its hard not being able to see a future I'm stuggling with that myself right now.

Oh yeah, I'm never seeing her again, fucking bitch. Should be fired. Should be catapulted off the face of this planet. She'd land on the moon and even the moon people wouldn't want her.

Sorry! Active imagination.

Sorry to hear you're struggling too. My checklist for managing depression is as follows (I don't know if this would help you?):

- counselling/therapy
-meds
-family and friend support
-creative outlet to let out emotions
-meditation
-being honest and open with people
calling samaritans (116 123) or your country's equivalent when needed
-being aware of dangerous thoughts and taking yourself to hospital if necessary (huh, that's ironic considering what I'm thinking)
- if things get considerably worse or do not improve within 6months - 1 year, ask for a psychiatrist appt
- group therapy/activities with other people with mental illness

yeah. dunno if that helps.

 

[tazey]

Oh yeah, I'm never seeing her again, fucking bitch. Should be fired. Should be catapulted off the face of this planet. She'd land on the moon and even the moon people wouldn't want her.

Sorry! Active imagination.

Sorry to hear you're struggling too. My checklist for managing depression is as follows (I don't know if this would help you?):

- counselling/therapy
-meds
-family and friend support
-creative outlet to let out emotions
-meditation
-being honest and open with people
calling samaritans (116 123) or your country's equivalent when needed
-being aware of dangerous thoughts and taking yourself to hospital if necessary (huh, that's ironic considering what I'm thinking)
- if things get considerably worse or do not improve within 6months - 1 year, ask for a psychiatrist appt
- group therapy/activities with other people with mental illness

yeah. dunno if that helps.

I've had 5yrs of hell with poss 2 more yrs to come its exhausting+draining (+in my case unessesary thanks to certain people) it can seem like a prison sentance I guess only people on here can truly understand that. I'm not suicidal I'm stressed out+fed up with it all,I dont have much support (hence why I joined here) I need distractions but don't have any.

 

[Surreyvwphobic]

Hello there, so sorry to learn of your dreadful experience. The behaviour of this dentist is totally unacceptable and hence should be reported; nobody should have to endure this sort of treatment!

I had a bad experience with a lady a few years ago. She claimed to be a phobia specialist but turned out to be a total bitch and traumatised me for ages afterwards. I did report it promptly to the phobia register that she had been on and mysteriously her name disappeared within hours!

Put very simply, go elsewhere and like I and many others on here have done, go and visit a few practices having first looked at their websites (assuming they have one, but most do these days) and get to know people before even setting foot in a surgery. You will feel the vibes most times and can thus make the best decisions thereafter.

Right now, you are the important one here. Assuming you are writing in the UK, my advice is to contact Samaritans for support in the first instance; if you are at all religious you could approach your local church (or other place of worship depending on your beliefs); these people are very supportive and will help anyone in crisis. If you have close friends you can trust, use them.

Good luck in your onward journey and remember we are all behind you! Simon XX

 

[Dg6300]

I am sorry you experienced that. It should not have happened. You did everything right, and it went badly because the other person is cruel and incompetent at their job.

May I offer a suggestion?
There are good, caring people out there who will want to help you. You deserve some help now. I kindly encourage you to seek that help, maybe even tonight.

Keep us posted.

 

[hatemyself]

I've had 5yrs of hell with poss 2 more yrs to come its exhausting+draining (+in my case unessesary thanks to certain people) it can seem like a prison sentance I guess only people on here can truly understand that. I'm not suicidal I'm stressed out+fed up with it all,I dont have much support (hence why I joined here) I need distractions but don't have any.

Sorry, I don't quite understand. 2 more years of dental treatment? What are you having done? Braces?

I definitely relate to the idea of a prison sentence. When I was 14 i had to have a looooot of dental surgery. Hospital visits, appts, all of it. I felt exactly like being in a prison, like I was locked in a cell with shitty teeth whilst everyone else walked around with a great smile. Because of the problems I had, my upper canines were pretty fucked up, so for about a year I had no canines. I learnt to envy other people's canines. I always thought they were the coolest teeth anyway. Still notice other people's canines to this day because of it.

You always have support here. One thing I would say is, like a long car journey, to just accept it. I know that sounds like the stupidest statement in the world because how can you accept it when it's causing you so much emotional pain? I suppose what I'm trying to get at is it is easier to bear if you think 'well, this is what's happening now, but it won't be forever'. Like a dull, long car journey.

We are here for you, man.

 

[hatemyself]

I am sorry you experienced that. It should not have happened. You did everything right, and it went badly because the other person is cruel and incompetent at their job.

May I offer a suggestion?

There are good, caring people out there who will want to help you. You deserve some help now. I kindly encourage you to seek that help, maybe even tonight.

Keep us posted.

Hi,

Thank you for this! You are very kind.

I am absolutely ready to go to a&e/into hospital if I need to. The moments pass so fleetingly though. I want to make sure I really mean to hurt myself before I phone/go anywhere. Hm. That doesn't sound like a good plan. Tell you what, when I feel in danger again, I will phone someone.

Thank you again

 

[hatemyself]

Hello there, so sorry to learn of your dreadful experience. The behaviour of this dentist is totally unacceptable and hence should be reported; nobody should have to endure this sort of treatment!

I had a bad experience with a lady a few years ago. She claimed to be a phobia specialist but turned out to be a total bitch and traumatised me for ages afterwards. I did report it promptly to the phobia register that she had been on and mysteriously her name disappeared within hours!

Put very simply, go elsewhere and like I and many others on here have done, go and visit a few practices having first looked at their websites (assuming they have one, but most do these days) and get to know people before even setting foot in a surgery. You will feel the vibes most times and can thus make the best decisions thereafter.

Right now, you are the important one here. Assuming you are writing in the UK, my advice is to contact Samaritans for support in the first instance; if you are at all religious you could approach your local church (or other place of worship depending on your beliefs); these people are very supportive and will help anyone in crisis. If you have close friends you can trust, use them.

Good luck in your onward journey and remember we are all behind you! Simon XX

Hi Simon thanks for this! I looked into the phobia register you mentioned - never even knew that existed so there's a really good resource right there! Thanks. I looked around a bit and there doesn't seem to be any phobia specialists super near me... I'll keep looking.

I have decided to go with a dentists back in my home town. They seemed kind on the phone. I guess sometimes you need to have experiences with people to really know what they're like.

Thanks again! We are all behind you too!

 

[tazey]

No implants (well supposedly) like I said if people hadn't mucked me around+done what they should have from the start I would have been sorted a long time ago.

 

[hatemyself]

No implants (well supposedly) like I said if people hadn't mucked me around+done what they should have from the start I would have been sorted a long time ago.

Oh man, I'm sorry that's so frustrating! Hopefully you're on the path now to getting it sorted out properly. Hang in there, man.

 

[tazey]

To be honest lost all hope just don't care anymore,if no one else can be bothered neither can i.

 

[hatemyself]

To be honest lost all hope just don't care anymore,if no one else can be bothered neither can i.

Tazey, woah man, we care! We all care. And you can find people out there who care too. Can you change dentists? Talk to a counsellor?

We're all behind you, man. We all care, otherwise we wouldn't be on this forum.

What exactly don't you care about? Donald Trump's choice of hair gel? The latest episode of Love Island?

Eh... I was trying to make you laugh, I guess!

Teeth? Or life?

 

[Surreyvwphobic]

Hi Simon thanks for this! I looked into the phobia register you mentioned - never even knew that existed so there's a really good resource right there! Thanks. I looked around a bit and there doesn't seem to be any phobia specialists super near me... I'll keep looking.

I have decided to go with a dentists back in my home town. They seemed kind on the phone. I guess sometimes you need to have experiences with people to really know what they're like.

Thanks again! We are all behind you too!

You are very welcome. Hope this was of help to you. I am still coming to terms with what has happened to me but at least starting to get the support I need to hopefully reach a happier and less painful dental life. Keep us posted with your latest progress

 

[tazey]

No can't really I'm at a hospital not a local surgery its to complicated to change,plus anywhere else would be even further away. Yeah people on here do just not people in real life,things are just hard in general need a break got an appointment in 2wks I'm dreading+just have nothing to look forward too.

 

[hatemyself]

Hey guys, I posted an update about my situation here in case anyone's interested: https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/forum/threads/mental-dental-health-update-from-hatemyself.24530/

Thanks!