Back to square one. And a crown question.

[MomofSprinter]

Hi all. I haven't been here for a while. I had some work done over a year ago. Front crowns, an implant and a veneer. My next step was to crown two molars but another medical situation became front and center so that was priority and dental work got put on hold. Then about the time covid happened so did my 2 molars so I couldn't even see my dentist. When I finally did get in, he yelled at me for not being there in over a year to the point he made me cry! When I tried to tell him my other medical stuff he wouldn't let up, just kept belittling me. This is why I didn't see a dentist for years in the first place!!! For a similar circumstance that happened when I was a child. I'm so mad now I intend to find a new dentist....again. Anyway, I ended up needing a molar pulled because it was abscessed. It was also bone grafted. I did let him do that.

Now my question. My other molar opposite side of mouth needs crowned. Or pulled? How much of the side of a tooth needs to be there in order to get a crown. (I snapped the tooth in half 3 weeks ago on a piece of gum! It has been previously root canaled). I don't want it pulled right now because of the healing taking place on the other side of my mouth. But I would like to eat!!

And would it be distasteful to have a new dentist remove my stitches from the bone graft? I was intending to only see my current one to remove the stitches and never return. But I don't want to return even for that.

 

[Enarete]

Hi MomofSprinter,

omg, a dentist yelled at you? The one you did front crowns, implant and a veneer with? That's heavy!
I am so sorry he even made you cry - that must have felt awful. I am amazed you allowed him to take out that molar, but I know that you might not have felt like leaving after you finally got an appointment.
If you don't feel like getting back for stitches and can find someone else to do it, please do. You wouldn't get back not even to a hair-dresser or supermarket where you were yelled at, so why to a dentist?

My two cents on the molar on the opposite site: only a dentist can tell. Dentists can build up even teeth that look beyond repair to us, but it really depends on how the tooth looks like, whether it's deeply fractured etc.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you to find someone for the stitches removal

All the best wishes

 

[MomofSprinter]

Thank you! I know the answer but definitely wanted reassurance I was thinking the right thing. Yes, this is a dentist who I told up front about my phobias. He reassured me I was in the right hands. Then after I spent almost $12k on my front 4 dental work, because I waited a bit due to other medical issues (found out I don't have cancer thank God but was a long road!) So it gives him the right to be ticked off and take it out on me?

One thing he said to me was that I promised him I'd get all the work done which is a flat out lie! I never promised anything. I never signed a contract. He gave me a treatment plan. I had every intention of doing other work but had a cancer scare in between. Now I won't do the work. Not with him. He just cost himself more money. I'm not even sure that tooth needed pulled. Hindsight I should've walked but it was abcessed and I was afraid it would spread. He probably was just hoping to prep me for more implants when I probably only needed a root canal and a crown.

 

[Enarete]

Glad I could give you some reassurance. The dentist accusing you from promising you would get the work done with him sounds totally weird and not very professional (or even mature, I can't help myself ). As a customer / patient you are free to chose who you will do the treatment with and also free to change your mind whenever you like anyway.
I'm relieved to read that it wasn't cancer and can't even imagine what an exhausting time that must have been.

Were you able to find another dentist to get the stitches out?

 

[krlovesherkids777]

"One thing he said to me was that I promised him I'd get all the work done which is a flat out lie! I never promised anything. I never signed a contract. He gave me a treatment plan. I had every intention of doing other work but had a cancer scare in between. Now I won't do the work "

this would totally turn me off too and be quite disheartening after doing all that other work with him. agh.

 

[BoxerMom]

Girl, run! Seriously though, he sounds psychotic and no one should be treated like that by a dentist. I’ve posted many times here that you are in control and if you’re not happy (or being actively yelled at ) you have every right to walk out. A dentist should not make you feel bad, guilty or belittled at any time. It seems that the guilt and shame we feel about the state of our teeth conditions us to accept punishment from a dentist and allow them to continue this behavior. It is unacceptable. I hope the majority of dentists out there are not like this. I have been to a dentist like that but my current one is nothing like that. I sincerely hope you can find one who will help you and not pull that crap.

 

[sincitysoul]

Oh heck no, the minute a dentist would start yelling at me, they'd be hauling me out of the office in handcuffs. I don't advocate violence, but people yelling - especially when it comes to things relatively out of my control like a health issue - are big ole' triggers. After one dentist flat out told me that he shouldn't care more about my teeth than I do (when I refused to pay over $5000 that I didn't have on various procedures), I started included a clause in my intake/new patient paperwork that I will not tolerate being talked down to about the state of teeth - I can't change the things I have done, so there's no point in guilting me into feeling bad about it.

A promise to do all dental work with this psychopath of a dentist doesn't mean a single thing, especially if there was no contract signed (and even then, I'd think that having a dentist scream at you until you're in tears and are afraid would justify breaking the contract).

With the recently broken molar, they could potentially build it up with a post, if there's not enough existing tooth - but I'm not sure if they do that on teeth that have had previous RCT.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

"When I finally did get in, he yelled at me for not being there in over a year to the point he made me cry! When I tried to tell him my other medical stuff he wouldn't let up, just kept belittling me. This is why I didn't see a dentist for years in the first place!!! For a similar circumstance that happened when I was a child. I'm so mad now I intend to find a new dentist.. "

aghh.. this is so awful and so sorry I toally agree with @sincitysoul totally not ok.. and unprofessional conduct at least .

I hope you can find someone that is alot more professional and compassionate. so sorry you went through this.. this is exactly why people don't go.

 

[AbeLinkedIn]

First thing's first, that dentist sounds like an abusive boyfriend, throwing up all the work he did on you as though he's doing you a favor. If people didn't have tooth troubles he'd be out of a job, so maybe it'd be in his best interest not to intimidate his patients? If it were me I would have left and find another dentist who showed more professionalism and gentle bedside manner.

I'd have no regrets looking for another dentist to remove my stitches. It's guys like him who give the profession its terrible reputation.

 

[MomofSprinter]

Update to my situation. I ended up keeping my appt to remove the stitches and have my teeth cleaned. I mainly saw the hygienist that day but the Dr. did come in and look at my healing gums. My intent was to not book anything more but he must've sensed my impending fleeing of his practice and he apologized. And was more his normal self. Maybe just a bad day? I don't know. I really like the hygienist and the dental assistant so I decided to give it one more go around.

I have another troubled molar and he was able to get me in 3 days later to be fitted for a crown. That tooth needed a core build up so hoping the crown holds off long enough while I wait to get 2 implants on the other side. Then implant the spot with the crown, should it fail.

At some point I will flee but needed to focus on getting these 2 areas fixed first. With an upcoming major surgery in 6 weeks, I really needed to get these 2 areas addressed so I don't have to deal with them for the 8 weeks I need to recover.

 

[JaySee19]

At least he had the decency to apologise. I would still be wary though - how many abusers apologise and swear they’ll never do it again, but fall into the same pattern when triggered. Still it shows a certain amount of self-awareness, he knew he was wrong. I can understand that you have other priorities at the moment with major surgery coming up. Good luck with that!

 

[AbeLinkedIn]

Good on him to own up to the outburst, but like Jaysee said, I'd keep on my toes about this guy. If this is a one and done thing I'd chalk it down to stress: Everyone's been taking their lumps but especially those in medical fields, even dentists, working their fingers to the bone during this pandemic. I'd give him one more chance if he apologized but it if happens again, run.

 

[MomofSprinter]

Thank you! I absolutely agree with what you've both said! And the very same thing crossed my mind. How many times abusers apologize only to do it again? I'm still going to seek out a new dentist following the surgery because I'm still not comfortable with him as I was before. The new dentist will have to pick up where he left off.