Back to square two at best - some icky stuff

[misty]

Hello:

Late last year I had a tooth break. Thanks to this forum and the kindness of the dentist and his staff, I was able to get through having a root canal and crown after many years of not going to the dentist at all.

Unfortunately, that dentist insisted that I go to another dentist who specializes in hardcore cases of dental phobia for the rest of the extensive work needed. Also unfortunately, the work the first dentist did never quite felt right, and in fact the second dentist had quite a bit to say about problems with the work that was done. Please note that I have never had a truly successful dental procedure done in my entire life - all of them have resulted in further problems of one kind or another.

I did manage to go to the second dentist for an evaluation, which was an awful experience for one as phobic as I am. I could barely look at the disgusting photos of my teeth that the dentist insisted that I examine, despite several protests on my part. The patient coordinator made a remark about "older patients" in my hearing. Not to mention the horrendous cost that the recommended treatment will incur. I am lucky to currently have dental insurance, but what I have pays a pittance. During this initial appointment and in most of my communications with this office I felt extremely pressured to make quick decisions.

Now that I have the money gathered for the procedures, I am trying to coordinate all of the antibiotics, the cashier's check, and the appointment for a physical exam before the surgery. In addition to my usual fears, I am feeling extremely pressured, and am having a great reluctance to have any of this work done under general anesthetic, which the dentist clearly prefers. I am very reluctant to have my entire mouth basically chopped up, and to have to try to return to my current job and rest of my life being unable to eat. But when I tried to discuss this with the staff and the dentist, I ended up feeling even more pressured.

Basically I fear that they have little interest in trying to save the tooth with the worst problem (root canal with crown; the root of the tooth is possibly cracked, and there are other problems according to the second dentist). Today the dentist said that I might have to have an aperectomy (I'm sure I have that wrong) done, which the dental coordinator said involved cutting through the bone to the root; the alternative is an extraction and preparation for a bridge. All of this to someone they absolutely know cannot take any detailed description of procedures, and who would be completely defeated by having to have an extraction. I ended up more confused, pressured, and frightened than when I started. Not to mention that the original coordinator I was working with, who seemed to have a modicum of patience (even with the crack about age), is now out of the office for an extended time. The second coordinator seemed impatient, and also made a comment about older patients. News bulletin, younger people don't usually have these problems - from which age group do they think most of their patients will be coming? For reference, I am middle-aged.

Anyway, I am extremely depressed over all of this. What's the use of even trying if my questions just lead to more pressure, and nobody wants to help me. I currently work with some truly unpleasant people and know that I'm nowhere near the worst, despite not being young and pretty, so I don't understand why I am being treated this way.

Misty

 

[puppypusher]

Don't give up hope!!!I'd try shopping for another dentist.If you really don't want GA,then there are quite a few dentists who use something called IV sedation where you're not really asleep but don't really remember anything afterwards.Maybe check the listings for a dentist who offers sedation dentestry.Usually they are apt. to understand our phobias.Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[scaredstiff]

Hi Misty, welcome back to the board after such a long absence. Reading your story my immediate reaction would be to advise you to find another dentist, you obviously have not got the right one for you yet. We're all phobics on this site, and finding the right dentist is paramount because you will have confidence and faith in them and a bond will be formed. I was fortunate in hitting lucky early on. I had rung a few dentists but didn't feel comfortable on the phone even, but when I spoke to the one that I eventually went to, even on the phone without personal contact I just knew I had found "my" dentist. And I was right, when I went for initial consultation, as soon as I saw her face to face, I just knew and from then on everything was more or less plain sailing. OK, I'm not pretending I wasn't still scared stiff, but I knew I was in the best of hands and now my treatment more or less at an end, I know that my dentist is also my best friend. There are plenty of dentists out there now that specialise in people like us with extreme phobias - you just haven't found the one for you yet. Good luck in your search. You'll know when you've found the right one, you really will, you'll just click.

 

[jools]

Hi Misty,

Basically I would reiterate scaredstiff words on this one.. a kind, considerate dentist will change exactly how you feel, I went through similar, my last dentist almost belittled me for daring to say I was afraid !! and I felt stupid and even more afraid. "My dentist" now is lovely !! She had to sit listening to me crying my g=heart out as I tried to describe the nightmare that I had suffered with my previous dentist

I have a dentist visit tommorow at 3pm and yes, I'm a little nervous, but nowhere near how I was before I found her.

We're all with you, having been through the same and what fantastic people there are here to help you, we go through it together.

Good luck

Love

Jools
xxx

 

[puppypusher]

best of luck Jools.I've got a cleaning appt. Wed,I made today all by myself!!Asked about valium and the nice receptionist said sure.Just a cleaning....RIGHT.I'm ok with the toothbrush but that metal scaling thing sends me right out of the chair..Take Care PP

 

[steffi]

Misty,
As SS said I think you are seeing the wrong dentist. You are the patient and also the consumer, paying for these srevices. No one should feel pressured by any other human let alone a Dentist and his staff. They seem to me to be unprofessional and you should look elsewhere. Easier said than done when you are frightened, but that is my advice. And keep talking here, everyone has problems similar or worse than yours.

Steffi

 

[misty]

I wanted to say thanks to all of those who responded, and to give a brief update.

I think I forgot to mention my fear of IVs before. The second dentist I mentioned is a sleep dentist, in fact he really wants to have me completely out to do everything at once, but I truly don't want that.

Dentist #1, the one I liked but who basically won't treat me except for cleanings, has given me a second referral. Now to get up the courage (and the cash) to go through another evaluation with dentist #3.

I also concluded that the reason I have had so much trouble is that I talk about my feelings too much, and that makes people impatient, especially dentists and their staff. I understand that nobody really has time or patience (except for here, and I really do appreciate it!) to listen or care anymore, so I am going to try with this third dentist to just keep it to myself. I guess that's the more adult thing to do in any case. I am still concerned that they cannot or will not help - their reviews on Dr. Oogle were mostly good but with one review that gives me pause - but I am running out of options and would like to be able to eat normally again.

Anyway, I do appreciate the encouragement. For the others just starting out, it can be done - I thought that I would never be able to get into the chair again, and I was able to do so, thanks to Ativan and the support I found here and with Dentist #1.

Misty

 

[scaredstiff]

I think I forgot to mention my fear of IVs before. The second dentist I mentioned is a sleep dentist, in fact he really wants to have me completely out to do everything at once, but I truly don't want that.

Dentist #1, the one I liked but who basically won't treat me except for cleanings, has given me a second referral. Now to get up the courage (and the cash) to go through another evaluation with dentist #3.

[highlight]I also concluded that the reason I have had so much trouble is that I talk about my feelings too much, and that makes people impatient, especially dentists and their staff. I understand that nobody really has time or patience[/highlight]
Misty

Hello Misty and nice to see you posting again. I don't think you can talk too much about your feelings, its so much better than bottling everything up. And, if dentists and their staff are impatient and appear not to have time, then you really havent got to the right one yet. Apart from being good at one's job - and this extends to any profession - if you're dealing with the public you have to have people skills. Your dentist obviously didn't. I've said it before, having the right dentist is most important and they should make you feel that while you are in their room, paying for their time, you should feel you are the most important person. You are contributing to their livelihood and without you and people like you they would sink.
About IV, I too had a thing about it, not in particular IV but needles in general, but I got through it swimmingly and if needed to again, would have no hesitation.
So, all the best in getting the finances together for dental treatment and all the luck in the world in tracking down that perfect dentist just waiting there for you .