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Bad habits + 8 years without a dentist = extractions, root canals, gum disease, and more!

T

takeheart

Member
Joined
Jun 22, 2022
Messages
27
Location
Los Angeles
I've been using my Support thread as a journal, oops. So I'll start one here instead.

I'm 32, and I haven't been to the dentist many times in my life. My parents took us maybe once a year when I was a kid. I always had cavities, rude dentists, and a mouth that was impossible to numb, leaving me terrified of the dentist - I think, in my entire life, I've had ONE visit where there was no drilling. My parents didn't really push oral hygiene either ... I'd been doing everything wrong my entire life: scrubbing my teeth as hard and fast as I could, horizontally, with just the barest smear of toothpaste, then rinsing it out immediately. (MINT, UGH.) I occasionally used floss picks because I honestly don't know how to use string floss. :/ My diet was full of sugar, starches, and soda, and I would do things like brush my teeth, then eat food or drink something (usually sugary and/or acidic) then go to bed without brushing again. During COVID lockdown, when I had no routine, I developed a bad habit of falling asleep without brushing my teeth - and I mean basically "sitting on the bed in my day clothes and passing out at unpredictable times" sleeping. I wasn't choosing to go to bed with a dirty mouth.

I became depressed at age 16 and it was all downhill from there. I've spent half of my life not caring about my body beyond hating and wanting to destroy it -- I don't know how to take care of myself. I probably saw the dentist 2-3 times between ages 16 and 25, and 25 is the last visit I remember. It had been YEARS because I needed a root canal, and interproximal fillings in all of my front teeth.

I was checked by a dentist in 2020 in the midst of COVID. It didn't work out - apparently the only problems in my mouth were all things that Medicaid (Denti-Cal) wouldn't pay for, and I had "ehhhh a couple of cavities." I didn't have any money so I didn't go back, not even to let them clean my teeth. I spent the next year in limbo, trying and failing to find a dentist who accepted Medicaid and would give me an appointment. Then I went back to college full time, taking 6 classes/18 credits, and just couldn't deal with anything else.

Summer 2022, I'm taking 2 courses online but I have time to get checked out before my final 6-class semester starts. I can see staining on my front teeth and I can feel a couple of cavities in other places, plus I was told I had a cracked tooth in 2020 ("but there's no cavity so insurance won't cover fixing it"), and that's occasionally sensitive when I chew or eat/drink cold stuff, so I'm expecting a root canal. But I finished my 4th appointment today, and so far I've had:

1) examination, pictures, x-rays, basic cleaning
2) a big 2-surface filling in #14 (new decay + replacing an old silver filling)
3) a consultation with an endodontist because I need RCT in a molar with curved roots (#3)
4) 2-surface fillings in #28 and #29

and I still need:
1) #2 extracted
2) #15 extracted
3) root canal in #3 + crown
4) root canal in #10 + a crown (a front tooth D: )
5) re-treatment of RCT'd #4 and a crown (this was done in 2015, idk why it wasn't crowned but it's cracked/cracking now)
6) 3-surface fillings in #11
7) 3- surface fillings in #20
8) 2-surface fillings in #21
9) SRP x 4 (apparently I have gum disease, cool - but insurance denied the claim for this so I guess I get to pay $1k for it)

stuff not on my treatment plan:
10) #5 seems to be cracked and have some decay on the occlusal surface
11) there's decay around my old interproximal fillings -- +4 fillings
12) the sides of my bottom second molars are brown but apparently not decayed. So those are on borrowed time. :C soda mouth ...
13) the 2020 dentist said I have bruxism and I need Invisalign to correct my bite or I'm going to lose all my incisors
14) I have TMJ. The joint is generally stable; I never had pain but it used to crack a lot and open-lock whenever I fell asleep.

plus more I'm sure I haven't been told about yet. Probably more cavities.

I had 2 fillings done today and the dentist was VERY warm and friendly. I even told him I was here because I had depression for a very long time and he said, "it's ok, we're here to fix you up!" and assured me I won't need dentures by age 40. The endo was also nice and assured me my tooth could be saved. The dentist I saw for my first 2 appointments was extremely serious and what little she said was judgmental, negative, or ambiguous, leaving me feeling confused and hopeless. I've cried so many times in the last month because I didn't know what was happening but I was sure I'd destroyed my teeth. The only reassurance I could get was from people in this forum, especially Gordon. THANK YOU for being here!!!

I'm still scared every time I'm in the chair and I want to cancel every appointment before I get in my car to drive there, but that fear doesn't compare at all to how much regret and shame I feel for letting my mouth rot like this. My fear created the problem I was afraid of and I'm really struggling to not blame and hate myself for it. Yeah, it was hard for them to numb my mouth when I was a KID, but I'm an adult who can advocate for herself, and I'm sure the anesthetics are better or my body is, because they WORK now. Years of avoidance and fear for nothing. But I'm getting it all fixed (for at least $5k :C ) and I'm learning how to take care of my body properly for the first time. Electric toothbrush & prescription toothpaste twice daily + flossing + WaterPik + no soda + very little sugar (replaced with sugar alcohols) + chewing sugar free gum. I'll probably have to live the rest of my life in tooth-maintenance mode, but everything's gonna be ok eventually.

Next appointment is August 1. My first root canal since 2015. Yaaaaaay.
 
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@takeheart

I just wanted to say good luck with the root canal! The good thing about root canals is they’re quick and easy, you can ask for nitrous, you can normally eat right after (maybe not sticky stuff bc of the temp crown? Can’t remember) PAIN FREE, and sometimes you get some painkillers. And replacing the temp crown with the permanent crown is pretty easy too.

WaterPiks are great, yea? Wish I had one of those when I was a kid.

Dr. Gordon is awesome. He said some things in another thread about gum disease that gave me a lot of hope. About how he’s seen the same patients for many, many years and how they had stabilized their gum disease with great home care.

I’m a woman in her 30s with much of the same dental work/woes as you so I’m here for ya. Fillings, root canals, bruxism, TMJ disorder, gum disease. The whole caboodle.

Good luck again with the root canal!
 
@takeheart Good luck with your root canal and other procedures!

I just want to share I can fully, fully relate to what you were saying about not caring for yourself. Although I don’t suffer from depression, I do have anxiety and PTSD and that was me when it came to brushing my teeth. I’d always say “Oh I’ll do it later” and well…later never happened. The brushing too hard and using a floss pick, yep that’s me! I’m still using a floss pick actually because I simply cannot get between all my teeth otherwise :p It’s not easy! I swear it could be an Olympic Sport LOL

It’s such a motivating thing to see how you’re caring for yourself now and getting yourself looked at, especially despite the terror. What a feat you’re doing! I know I’m a stranger on the internet and you don’t know me, but I want to say how proud I am of you for that. It’s not easy for us to go from not really caring for ourselves to suddenly doing it and sometimes I find myself wanting to slip back into old habits, but nope! If anything we’re going to become the favourite patients of dentists with how we’ve started caring for our teeth!

Again, best of luck to you, and keep us updated! You got this!
 
I just wanted to say good luck with the root canal! The good thing about root canals is they’re quick and easy, you can ask for nitrous, you can normally eat right after (maybe not sticky stuff bc of the temp crown? Can’t remember) PAIN FREE, and sometimes you get some painkillers. And replacing the temp crown with the permanent crown is pretty easy too.

WaterPiks are great, yea? Wish I had one of those when I was a kid.

Dr. Gordon is awesome. He said some things in another thread about gum disease that gave me a lot of hope. About how he’s seen the same patients for many, many years and how they had stabilized their gum disease with great home care.

I’m a woman in her 30s with much of the same dental work/woes as you so I’m here for ya. Fillings, root canals, bruxism, TMJ disorder, gum disease. The whole caboodle.

Good luck again with the root canal!


I’m not even scared of the root canal because I remember how easy my first one was! It’s just the idea of having 3 dead teeth and blaming myself for letting it happen. (I clearly shouldn’t have decided I didn’t need therapy anymore, ugh.) I don’t remember it being any worse than getting a filling. I AM worried about having a crown on a front tooth. My fear is more rooted in failure to get numb + avoidance of judgment/disgust/scolding + idea of mouth being “destabilized” and spiraling out of control + … fear of debt, than it is fear of the actual procedures.

Dr. Gordon has reassured me so much and he doesn’t even have to say much. I remember reading his replies to your questions, including the one you’re paraphrasing, and it’s such a helpful bit of comfort! Since there is NO information out there beyond “gingivitis can be reversed; periodontal disease can’t” and “your teeth might fall out if you get perio, idk, but remember gingivitis can be cured!!!”

Thank you for sharing your experiences. It really helps. ❤️
 
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This reply is probably too heavy for this forum. Idk. Trigger warning for mentions of suicidal ideation

@APhobicQueen yeah, this experience has been really difficult for me, psychologically, not only because of my teeth, but because I realized that I’m no longer suicidal. I can’t escape from my pain and anxiety by saying, “it’s ok, none of it matters, you’re not gonna be here when X becomes a problem,” because I no longer believe that. I AM going to be here. I’ve just learned that I apparently believe I’m going to be alive into my 50s now, and I have no idea how to live the life of someone who doesn’t have one foot perpetually out the door. So I’m struggling with the knowledge that I might just be here for the length of a natural lifespan, aaaaaaand I’ve done nothing but make that as difficult for myself as I possibly could. (Which was deliberate.) I had no idea my mindset had changed until I saw the dentist. My security blanket is gone and I’m reeling. I have to commit to my own life?? and care for my body, something I’ve only ever wished could just vanish? You’re right: it’s hard.

I guess my 30s are for undoing all the self-sabotage and neglect of my 20s: finishing college (after years of failing over and over again and making half-hearted attempts to fix it), fixing my body, hopefully fixing my relationships and my mind ... The dentist was the first to tell me I’m running out of time and the damage is permanent, so fix it now. I’m always going to be weak and missing chunks of structure due to neglect and decay; I’ll have to be conscious of that and vigilant forever, but we can fill the holes and reinforce the weak parts, and hopefully that will be enough.

Thanks for your kind words ❤️ Looking forward to being the dentist’s favorite patient and hopefully never hearing a drill again after this year!
 
I just called my dental insurance provider (Denti-Cal, California's dental insurance program for us poors) and was told that the $300 I paid this dentist for fillings was illegally charged, and crowns are covered benefits on all teeth, with no material restrictions. They would have billed me $4,000 for fillings and crowns if I let them do everything listed, at the prices they said I had to pay ($50 per composite filling surface and $1,000 per crown). My bill is actually $1,300 for the endodontist. The end! I'm not supposed to pay anyone else for anything else!

I have to get itemized receipts to prove what I paid for and how much I paid so I can seek reimbursement from Denti-Cal. The receipts the office gave me conveniently don't list what exactly I paid for. I should probably find a new dentist now. Ugh. So one of the reasons I'm scared of going to the damn dentist played out: they're committing fraud and lying to me, and I only noticed because they said I'd have to pay for a crown on a front tooth when I KNEW that wasn't true. Otherwise I would have just handed all of that money over and struggled because saving my teeth is more important ... BUT it turns out there's a solution for this and everything will be okay!
 
Had #11 and #10 filled today. A LOT of #10 is gone and the decay was very close to the pulp, but it didn't need a root canal. I asked the dentist if RCT inevitably WOULD be necessary and she said absolutely not, as long as I take care of it. :)

I got my perio chart and I have 18 measurements of 5mm across 9 back teeth, plus 1 6mm. 6 of those are in the 2nd molars that need to be extracted. The rest of the measurements are 3s and 4s. Not healthy but now I see why the SRP request was denied. They billed for 4 or more teeth per quadrant but no quadrant has 4 teeth with 5mm pockets. :/ That, or I don't have enough bone loss? Unfortunately, they didn't take or wouldn't give me a pano x-ray, so I have no idea.
 
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Oh boy, I was away for a while and missed replies LOL

@takeheart Oof yeah. It‘s really hard when a security blanket (whatever it may be) falls away like that. I’m really happy that you are going to be here, but I totally get it, it’s such a shock of thinking long term like that when before, there was nothing long term. It was all a blur or non-existant.
Although you can’t go back, and take care of yourself in the way you needed to, you can do that now. And our bodies are very resilient things, truly, truly. And I love that analogy of fixing the the weak parts with renforcement!

I’m not sure if you’ve heard of this, rather cliche, metaphor, but I do love it. The Japanese art of Kintsugi. It’s the beauty in imperfections. When something breaks, instead of buying something new or making something look perfect again, instead they allow the cracks to show. They just smooth them out and make them look nicer. It’s about not erasing what happened but acknowledging it and finding a way to work with it. I think it can definitely apply to both of our situations! It’s one of those things where we’re going to have to be vigilant for our whole lives, but it doesn’t mean our lives will be over or it’ll be difficult. Different, but not the worst I don’t think.

My 30s are for the same as well to be honest. I need to undo a lot of damage that has happened to me over the past three decades. It’s exhausting, and terrifying but I promise, things are going to be absolutely amazing when you start seeing that progress. Remember nothing is too small either. And healing is never linear. Steps back don’t mean you’re going backwards, just that it’s a bit of a bad day. A rough spot.

Glad to hear an RCT isn’t inevitable on that tooth! You got this!

Bit odd they wouldn’t take a panoramic x-ray. Perhaps ask if you could have one at your next visit? That’s the only x-ray my dentist has of me right now (because of my high gag reflex) and the only thing that comforts me at the moment (she said it showed good bone height on my lowers LOL)

Sending you a bunch of good energy right now :grouphug:
 
Met with dentist #2 for the first time today. I liked the staff and the dentist here more, and the dentist confirmed everything the previous one said. I’m being referred to an oral surgeon because the teeth that need to be extracted also have “severely curved roots”, but he recommends I get implants immediately because I’m “too young to lose second molars”. (He does implants. Lol.) I can’t afford it so that’s not happening. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I do like that he told me about the roots and wants a surgeon to do it.

He didn’t measure all of my gum pockets, but went straight to the molars, found 5mm pockets, and said I need SRP. Hopefully this insurance company approves the procedure!

So, new dentist, same treatment plan but a lot cheaper while involving more specialized care.
 
I haven't been here in a while because nothing was changing. But I completed the scariest part of my treatment plan yesterday afternoon: the extractions of my upper second molars, #2 and #15.

First, the oral surgeon and a couple of other dentists came and looked at the teeth and debated whether or not they had to be pulled. Opinions shifted from "it might just be bad staining" to "nope, they're both goners" in a couple of minutes. I was shaking throughout all of this and secretly hoping they'd decide root canals and crowns could fix the problem. Nope, no luck. I was terrified of the idea of having my teeth pulled out, of what the holes might do to the rest of my mouth, of putting too much stress on the already heavily compromised teeth next to the holes, of simply living with 2 fewer teeth ... all while telling myself I was being a huge baby, lots of people have more than 2 teeth pulled and they end up fine.

My inner turmoil had no impact on the schedule: the forceps came for me. There was no pain at all and the pulling took less than a minute. The oral surgeon cried, "crazy roots!" and brought a few other dentists in to look at them, so, uh, good job, me! Now that I've seen the teeth in their full glory, I TRULY don't understand how I never felt any pain unless someone was sticking a metal probe into the holes. They both had extensive decay under the gum line and all the way into the pulp. Two days ago, I spent a couple of minutes running an ice cube over those two teeth and the one I need a root canal in and felt only a twinge of discomfort. Bizarre. I'm very grateful the procedure was actually so fast and easy and everyone was very understanding and didn't jeer or throw stuff at me for being disgusting enough to let my body parts rot off. (I'm still blaming myself and I feel dirty. I don't know if I'll ever get over that.)

I'm worried about dry socket but I can barely see the holes because they're entirely located on the buccal side, mostly hidden behind my first molars. I cannot see them at all when looking at the roof of my mouth. (Hey, if I get implants, maybe they can be positioned to actually point downwards!!!) So there's no point in me obsessing over what I can't see. Sure, I think I accidentally dislodged and swallowed the clots after clearing my throat too hard, but I can't know that or do anything about it until Monday, so, whatever.

The dentists and surgeons keep talking about getting implants. "You're too young to lose molars." "You need to replace these so you can chew. You need all of your molars." Cool, is there any way I can do that for less than $10,000 without going to another country? No? Then it's a problem for some nebulous time in the future when I might have money.

If these holes heal well, I'll have the root canal done and crowned by the end of this month. I've got to pick up the pace; there's still so much to do ...
 
Updated treatment to-do list:
1) root canal in #3 + crown (September)
2) a build-up and crown for #4 (October)
3) 3-surface fillings in #20
4) 2-surface fillings in #21
5) SRP x 4 (if my new insurance doesn't deny it like the old one did)
6) treatment of decay in #5
7) decay around interproximal fillings in 7, 8, 9
8) tiny interproximal cavities in my lower incisors (too lazy to look up numbers)

I haven't been told about or noticed anything else. I mean, how many teeth aren't damaged? Like 4 total? I'm tired. I wish I'd done things right and didn't need all of this.

Also, my teeth still haven't been cleaned.
 
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@takeheart I swear it’s like you knew I’d needed to read an update :ROFLMAO: We’re going to be extraction buddies! (Sort of.)

So my extraction date was moved up to next Friday or it will be and EEEEP I am so scared and terrified, and then you posted about getting extractions and I feel a little better. Your humour was much needed! I hope those holes heal up just fine! My holes, being on my front, will be fully visible. Which is both a nice thing (since I’ll be able to see if anything’s wrong) and a terrible thing (since I’ll be able to SEE everything lol)

Also shame on them for only talking about implants! Ugh, they sound like they just want more money. It’s like some dentists think removable dentures don’t exist anymore :rolleyes: Not to mention a lot of people actually get on fine with less molars. Like duh, of course it’s better to have all teeth available for usage, but most of us don’t have the money. Or if we do, it isn’t for implants! (Some of us don’t even want implants because the thought of all those other procedures are just NOPE)

But proud of you for getting those extractions done! Good job and I hope you treat yourself when you’re able! Because you deserve it. (I know I will be. If I’m confronting the thing that gave me such horrid PTSD, you best believe I’m getting myself a gift at the end of it lol well not right away. Me being loopy from general and trying to shop might be a bad idea)

The blaming yourself, I completely understand. Still doing it too over here. Now that my appointment’s been moved up, I’m worried that the damage is even worse than I thought. Like I have this fear that they’re going to say all my teeth need to be pulled or something. And I’m just so mad at myself in these intervals of “why didn’t I just take care of my teeth? Why did I not bother!?” I think you’re right. It’s not something that we’re ever fully get comfortable with, at best we can hope that we heal enough for it to scar over, rather than just be an open wound, or easily scrapped off scab. But it’s definitely a lot. Hell, even though I’m unconscious I’m worried, now that the dentist will be able to see in my mouth uninterrupted and unimpeded by my conscious self that she’s going to be disgusted and say awful things. But we can’t let the fear of judgement stop us. We need to be applauded for trying to get our mouths back on track, for taking care of them in the here and now. That’s huge for people like us.

Anyway, sending you all the love and hugs :grouphug:really proud of the step you’ve taken in getting the extraction done (and how easy it was, like oh yeah that makes me feel a bunch better! LOL) and I hope the rest of your treatment goes smoothly, quickly, and easily!
 
I'm, exactly 108 hours post-extraction, down to the minute. HA HA!

I can see literally nothing since my clots vanished or shrank around hour 36, so I have no idea how things are going back there. All I know is that I'm not in pain or bleeding. I have to be kind of careful when talking or the air will rush past the holes, especially on /s/, and that's uncomfortable, but I'm mostly worried a chunk of something will come flying out, lol. I'm certain my /s/ and /sh/ sound different in my mouth. Am beating down the urge to email my old Phonetics professor and ask her, "Hey, what happens to a person's artic if they're missing their last two upper molars? Just asking for a friend!!!!!!" Like I'm gonna develop a lateral lisp as an adult ... Nothing is happening; it's all in my imagination.

Yesterday I sneezed and was worried I'd perforated my sinuses. Thought it was a certainty when I woke up throughout the night with strange bubbling sensations in my sinuses and then pressure under my eye socket. I couldn't think of a way to test whether I'd perforated my sinus without guaranteeing I'd perforate my sinus; the best I came up with was holding a finger under or in my nostril to feel any escaping air while I said words and letters. Earlier today, I filled my mouth with water and then breathed through my nose, and the water didn't end up anywhere it shouldn't be, so ... I guess I'm fine. At this point, I'm going to assume I'm healing well unless I'm in agony or there are fluids flowing into or out of places they shouldn't be.

It's been hard to sleep. Fortunately, I don't need to be propped up anymore, so that should be easier now. I miss chewing. I miss food. Ate non-mush food for the first time today: a piece of white bread folded over, with American cheese and ham lunch meat in it. Beautiful, delicious, perfect sandwich. I wish I'd chosen to have two separate extraction appointments so that I'd have an "other side of your mouth" to chew on, but I thought there would be P A I N and it would be crazy to go through that TWICE.

I'm working on ignoring my anxiety about this and being zen while waiting for things to go back to normal. This hasn't been nearly as awful as I feared it would be.
 
Thursday morning's dental activity was the root canal. The internet's insistence that curved roots are too complicated for RCT and require extraction forced me into at least a couple of crying fits over the last few months, so the endo's lack of reaction beyond, "I like the curved roots, they're interesting!" was a HUGE relief. The procedure was fast and easy. My limbs, especially my legs, were noticeably trembling the entire time and I couldn't stop it but I tried to lay there with my eyes closed behind the sunglasses and just relax.

The two extraction holes from 2 weeks ago are still huge but are healing well. I can chew normally back there, however, the riskiest thing I've eaten so far was a cheeseburger on Wednesday. (It was heavenly.) Now I'm back to a super-soft foods diet until the RCT'd tooth is crowned on Thursday. Accidentally chewing with or putting pressure on that tooth hurts a lot right now, as I discovered while eating spaghetti tonight. :(

I am making a very deliberate effort to look on the bright side and see the good in every step of this long process. It's happened, is happening, and is going to continue to happen to me for the rest of this year, regardless of how I feel about it. I chose this outcome. I made all of this happen. Now I am going to do whatever it takes to fix the damage and protect my mouth from further deterioration. And I'm rewarding myself! I ordered a new laptop and it will arrive the day after my next dentist appointment! :) It cost exactly as much as I was originally quoted for the root canal (which is 4 times more than I ended up paying, hahaha).

Good things to remember:
- I still have 26 teeth. I might even be able to have 28 again some day, and the implants would be more functional than the original teeth were.
- My teeth always occlude properly now that my second molars are gone, instead of only when my TMJ is in exactly the right position and I don't pop it, because if it moves, it's never going back. It's been popping (painlessly) much more often since the teeth were pulled, but I prefer that over the problems caused by my teeth not fitting together right. I had no idea those molars were causing malocclusion.
- My financial situation is so much better than it has been at any other point in my life. I truly couldn't have had most of this work done before now because I had no money and was already in deep debt. That only changed a few months ago, and my situation will improve even more dramatically in the future, so I should be able to continue receiving dental care.
- I'll probably only pay $3k for what would have cost $7k or more if I'd kept using Medicaid and scheduled my appointments differently.
- The restorations I have right now should last 10-20 years or more before they need to be replaced.
- I understand that dentists are not here to take things from me and hurt me. They are fighting to keep my teeth in my head, and I WILL eventually lose all of my teeth if I don't follow their advice AND get regular maintenance done. Even if it's expensive and painful and there's always a chance they or insurance are scamming me.
- I have changed my habits so this won't happen again.
 
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@takeheart I can’t believe I didn’t see you updated your journal! But I love this post!

Firstly, the “curved roots are interesting!” had be LOLing. Gotta love that for humour. I wonder what happens when a group of oral surgeons/dental professionals gets together?

I love the positivity and looking on the bright side! We really have to do that, even more so than normal people I think. It’s so important for us to see that this is our choice and the outcome is all about us. Love that you ordered a new laptop! I really can’t wait till the day I can get one LOL

I really do feel like we’re on parallel journeys, you and I. The similarities are so striking! And I love that. We can wave at each other from our lanes :)

Remembering all the teeth you still have is so important! I just know I’m going to be doing the same when I have my extractions. Like yeah, you’ve lost a few, but look at all the ones you still have. WOOHOO.

So happy your financial situation has improved so you can continue this dental care. That’s amazing.

I love that realization you’ve had that dentists aren’t trying to hurt you. What a beautiful revelation to have!

That last part is so powerful. I’m just over here clapping for you. How absolutely wonderful. You’re really giving me hope over here for my own extractions and healing process so thank you :hug4:
 
@takeheart I love that message about dentists are basically our friends. It's something I have to keep in mind. So often we're taught they're some maniac bent on doing unnecessary procedures for money but if you break it down, they probably aren't earning all that much even with everything combined. And I keep telling myself "why would they STAY a dentist, they could earn more doing just cosmetic stuff especially here in SoCal" thank you so much for sharing your journey here for us to be a part of. It's really helping me over come a lot of my regret and anxiety. It's helping me remember, we can't change the past but we can move forward and try to be better. Thank you again.
 
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