T
takeheart
Member
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2022
- Messages
- 27
- Location
- Los Angeles
I've been using my Support thread as a journal, oops. So I'll start one here instead.
I'm 32, and I haven't been to the dentist many times in my life. My parents took us maybe once a year when I was a kid. I always had cavities, rude dentists, and a mouth that was impossible to numb, leaving me terrified of the dentist - I think, in my entire life, I've had ONE visit where there was no drilling. My parents didn't really push oral hygiene either ... I'd been doing everything wrong my entire life: scrubbing my teeth as hard and fast as I could, horizontally, with just the barest smear of toothpaste, then rinsing it out immediately. (MINT, UGH.) I occasionally used floss picks because I honestly don't know how to use string floss. :/ My diet was full of sugar, starches, and soda, and I would do things like brush my teeth, then eat food or drink something (usually sugary and/or acidic) then go to bed without brushing again. During COVID lockdown, when I had no routine, I developed a bad habit of falling asleep without brushing my teeth - and I mean basically "sitting on the bed in my day clothes and passing out at unpredictable times" sleeping. I wasn't choosing to go to bed with a dirty mouth.
I became depressed at age 16 and it was all downhill from there. I've spent half of my life not caring about my body beyond hating and wanting to destroy it -- I don't know how to take care of myself. I probably saw the dentist 2-3 times between ages 16 and 25, and 25 is the last visit I remember. It had been YEARS because I needed a root canal, and interproximal fillings in all of my front teeth.
I was checked by a dentist in 2020 in the midst of COVID. It didn't work out - apparently the only problems in my mouth were all things that Medicaid (Denti-Cal) wouldn't pay for, and I had "ehhhh a couple of cavities." I didn't have any money so I didn't go back, not even to let them clean my teeth. I spent the next year in limbo, trying and failing to find a dentist who accepted Medicaid and would give me an appointment. Then I went back to college full time, taking 6 classes/18 credits, and just couldn't deal with anything else.
Summer 2022, I'm taking 2 courses online but I have time to get checked out before my final 6-class semester starts. I can see staining on my front teeth and I can feel a couple of cavities in other places, plus I was told I had a cracked tooth in 2020 ("but there's no cavity so insurance won't cover fixing it"), and that's occasionally sensitive when I chew or eat/drink cold stuff, so I'm expecting a root canal. But I finished my 4th appointment today, and so far I've had:
1) examination, pictures, x-rays, basic cleaning
2) a big 2-surface filling in #14 (new decay + replacing an old silver filling)
3) a consultation with an endodontist because I need RCT in a molar with curved roots (#3)
4) 2-surface fillings in #28 and #29
and I still need:
1) #2 extracted
2) #15 extracted
3) root canal in #3 + crown
4) root canal in #10 + a crown (a front tooth D: )
5) re-treatment of RCT'd #4 and a crown (this was done in 2015, idk why it wasn't crowned but it's cracked/cracking now)
6) 3-surface fillings in #11
7) 3- surface fillings in #20
8) 2-surface fillings in #21
9) SRP x 4 (apparently I have gum disease, cool - but insurance denied the claim for this so I guess I get to pay $1k for it)
stuff not on my treatment plan:
10) #5 seems to be cracked and have some decay on the occlusal surface
11) there's decay around my old interproximal fillings -- +4 fillings
12) the sides of my bottom second molars are brown but apparently not decayed. So those are on borrowed time. :C soda mouth ...
13) the 2020 dentist said I have bruxism and I need Invisalign to correct my bite or I'm going to lose all my incisors
14) I have TMJ. The joint is generally stable; I never had pain but it used to crack a lot and open-lock whenever I fell asleep.
plus more I'm sure I haven't been told about yet. Probably more cavities.
I had 2 fillings done today and the dentist was VERY warm and friendly. I even told him I was here because I had depression for a very long time and he said, "it's ok, we're here to fix you up!" and assured me I won't need dentures by age 40. The endo was also nice and assured me my tooth could be saved. The dentist I saw for my first 2 appointments was extremely serious and what little she said was judgmental, negative, or ambiguous, leaving me feeling confused and hopeless. I've cried so many times in the last month because I didn't know what was happening but I was sure I'd destroyed my teeth. The only reassurance I could get was from people in this forum, especially Gordon. THANK YOU for being here!!!
I'm still scared every time I'm in the chair and I want to cancel every appointment before I get in my car to drive there, but that fear doesn't compare at all to how much regret and shame I feel for letting my mouth rot like this. My fear created the problem I was afraid of and I'm really struggling to not blame and hate myself for it. Yeah, it was hard for them to numb my mouth when I was a KID, but I'm an adult who can advocate for herself, and I'm sure the anesthetics are better or my body is, because they WORK now. Years of avoidance and fear for nothing. But I'm getting it all fixed (for at least $5k :C ) and I'm learning how to take care of my body properly for the first time. Electric toothbrush & prescription toothpaste twice daily + flossing + WaterPik + no soda + very little sugar (replaced with sugar alcohols) + chewing sugar free gum. I'll probably have to live the rest of my life in tooth-maintenance mode, but everything's gonna be ok eventually.
Next appointment is August 1. My first root canal since 2015. Yaaaaaay.
I'm 32, and I haven't been to the dentist many times in my life. My parents took us maybe once a year when I was a kid. I always had cavities, rude dentists, and a mouth that was impossible to numb, leaving me terrified of the dentist - I think, in my entire life, I've had ONE visit where there was no drilling. My parents didn't really push oral hygiene either ... I'd been doing everything wrong my entire life: scrubbing my teeth as hard and fast as I could, horizontally, with just the barest smear of toothpaste, then rinsing it out immediately. (MINT, UGH.) I occasionally used floss picks because I honestly don't know how to use string floss. :/ My diet was full of sugar, starches, and soda, and I would do things like brush my teeth, then eat food or drink something (usually sugary and/or acidic) then go to bed without brushing again. During COVID lockdown, when I had no routine, I developed a bad habit of falling asleep without brushing my teeth - and I mean basically "sitting on the bed in my day clothes and passing out at unpredictable times" sleeping. I wasn't choosing to go to bed with a dirty mouth.
I became depressed at age 16 and it was all downhill from there. I've spent half of my life not caring about my body beyond hating and wanting to destroy it -- I don't know how to take care of myself. I probably saw the dentist 2-3 times between ages 16 and 25, and 25 is the last visit I remember. It had been YEARS because I needed a root canal, and interproximal fillings in all of my front teeth.
I was checked by a dentist in 2020 in the midst of COVID. It didn't work out - apparently the only problems in my mouth were all things that Medicaid (Denti-Cal) wouldn't pay for, and I had "ehhhh a couple of cavities." I didn't have any money so I didn't go back, not even to let them clean my teeth. I spent the next year in limbo, trying and failing to find a dentist who accepted Medicaid and would give me an appointment. Then I went back to college full time, taking 6 classes/18 credits, and just couldn't deal with anything else.
Summer 2022, I'm taking 2 courses online but I have time to get checked out before my final 6-class semester starts. I can see staining on my front teeth and I can feel a couple of cavities in other places, plus I was told I had a cracked tooth in 2020 ("but there's no cavity so insurance won't cover fixing it"), and that's occasionally sensitive when I chew or eat/drink cold stuff, so I'm expecting a root canal. But I finished my 4th appointment today, and so far I've had:
1) examination, pictures, x-rays, basic cleaning
2) a big 2-surface filling in #14 (new decay + replacing an old silver filling)
3) a consultation with an endodontist because I need RCT in a molar with curved roots (#3)
4) 2-surface fillings in #28 and #29
and I still need:
1) #2 extracted
2) #15 extracted
3) root canal in #3 + crown
4) root canal in #10 + a crown (a front tooth D: )
5) re-treatment of RCT'd #4 and a crown (this was done in 2015, idk why it wasn't crowned but it's cracked/cracking now)
6) 3-surface fillings in #11
7) 3- surface fillings in #20
8) 2-surface fillings in #21
9) SRP x 4 (apparently I have gum disease, cool - but insurance denied the claim for this so I guess I get to pay $1k for it)
stuff not on my treatment plan:
10) #5 seems to be cracked and have some decay on the occlusal surface
11) there's decay around my old interproximal fillings -- +4 fillings
12) the sides of my bottom second molars are brown but apparently not decayed. So those are on borrowed time. :C soda mouth ...
13) the 2020 dentist said I have bruxism and I need Invisalign to correct my bite or I'm going to lose all my incisors
14) I have TMJ. The joint is generally stable; I never had pain but it used to crack a lot and open-lock whenever I fell asleep.
plus more I'm sure I haven't been told about yet. Probably more cavities.
I had 2 fillings done today and the dentist was VERY warm and friendly. I even told him I was here because I had depression for a very long time and he said, "it's ok, we're here to fix you up!" and assured me I won't need dentures by age 40. The endo was also nice and assured me my tooth could be saved. The dentist I saw for my first 2 appointments was extremely serious and what little she said was judgmental, negative, or ambiguous, leaving me feeling confused and hopeless. I've cried so many times in the last month because I didn't know what was happening but I was sure I'd destroyed my teeth. The only reassurance I could get was from people in this forum, especially Gordon. THANK YOU for being here!!!
I'm still scared every time I'm in the chair and I want to cancel every appointment before I get in my car to drive there, but that fear doesn't compare at all to how much regret and shame I feel for letting my mouth rot like this. My fear created the problem I was afraid of and I'm really struggling to not blame and hate myself for it. Yeah, it was hard for them to numb my mouth when I was a KID, but I'm an adult who can advocate for herself, and I'm sure the anesthetics are better or my body is, because they WORK now. Years of avoidance and fear for nothing. But I'm getting it all fixed (for at least $5k :C ) and I'm learning how to take care of my body properly for the first time. Electric toothbrush & prescription toothpaste twice daily + flossing + WaterPik + no soda + very little sugar (replaced with sugar alcohols) + chewing sugar free gum. I'll probably have to live the rest of my life in tooth-maintenance mode, but everything's gonna be ok eventually.
Next appointment is August 1. My first root canal since 2015. Yaaaaaay.
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