• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone with an extreme fear of the dentist or dental phobia. Please note that this is NOT a general dental forum! You can find a list of them here.

    Register now to access all the features of the forum.

bad news at today's appt.

shamrockerin

shamrockerin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2012
Messages
750
Location
New Hampshire, USA
So as I said in my earlier bthread, I'm back. After 2 years of brushing and flossing and getting cleanings every three months, I'm back to being a dental phobe. It's pretty pathetic.

I went as schefuled today to have my dentist look at my bad tooth: the one that got filled/RCT/crowned as a teen, and then broke off three years ago. He took a quick look, and then invited me into the office to talk about it. Just as I thought, it's hopeless. There's no way to save this tooth. He is recommending extraction followed by an implant. He would refer me to an oral surgon for that stuff.

I can't even think about doing that. I know my tooth is rotten and disgusting, but at least i doesn't hurt at all. I've already had numerous painful dental appointments because of this tooth, and I can't stand the idea of any more. I don't even think I can set up the consultation, knowing what it leads to.

So since I can't bring myself to do what he recommends, I'm stuck with this tooth, and I feel so ugly and disgusting knowing it's in there.

So I'm back to my old ways. I remember the first time I came on this site, I saw the part about "feeling depressed or suicidal?" and I thought "Geez that seems kind of extreme" but it wasn't long before I understood how someone w/ dental phobia could feel that way.

I feel so stupid now for thinking that I was actually recovered.:(
 
FearfulInMA

FearfulInMA

Super Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jun 14, 2012
Messages
2,173
Location
Massachusetts, USA
Recovery is not ever a linear process. It's often 2 steps forward, 1 step back. You're not stupid, you're just scared and sick and tired of having to keep deal with this same awful tooth. But, I keep wondering what it would be like for you to have this tooth gone and go never have to think about it again. I know you know this, but a broken tooth is like a ticking time bomb. You know that if you can start taking care of it now that you can do so on your own terms and in your own time. If you just wait for it to bother you, you know that the pain can go from 0 to 10 in a matter of days.

I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. I also know how awful it has been for you to continue to deal with this one awful tooth. You'll get through this.

Take good care.
 
shamrockerin

shamrockerin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2012
Messages
750
Location
New Hampshire, USA
Thank you. The tooth doesn't hurt at all- haven't had any feeling in it since it was RCT when I was a teen. That almost makes irt worse.

If I was in pain, then I'd be more motivated to get rid of it. But since I cant feel any pain in it (that's how I never realized how decayed it was until it fell out 3 yrs ago) then I just can't think about it.


How can I trade in a painless reality for a future that's pain-FUL and full of panic and anxiety?:cry:
 
FearfulInMA

FearfulInMA

Super Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jun 14, 2012
Messages
2,173
Location
Massachusetts, USA
I had forgotten that it was RCT'd. So wait a bit. Give yourself some time to mentally prepare. An extraction will take less than 5 min and should be entirely pain free. I'm guessing the recovery will be pretty easy too. I know you then have to think about bridge, implant, etc., but those can wait too. What tooth is it?
 
shamrockerin

shamrockerin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2012
Messages
750
Location
New Hampshire, USA
I believe it's the #13 molar (i still have my wisdom tooth, and then there's a reg. molar, and then a big ugly hole, w/ a shell of tooth around it).

I've read on here many times that teeth broken at the gum line are actually easier to remove, but I don't see how that's true in this case. It's so brittle, and I can see the roots (the bright pink RCT filler makes them visible). I'm worried he's going to have to cut into my gums to dig them all out.:cry:

I like my dentist: he's soft-spoken, and I like that he doesn't make me talk about all this stuff in the chair, and that he has a conference room for those purposes. He assured me that the rest of my teeth are very nice and healthy, and it's just this one tooth that's a problem. But he wants to refer me to a surgeon for all this stuff, and I won't have a chance to develop trust in him.

I met him once a few months ago, for my husband's wisdom tooth consult. He didn't seem mean or anything, but he just kinda came in, put his hands in my husband's mouth, poked around, and then was out the door. He didn't even sit down. My husband isn't nearly as fearful of dental procedures as I am, so it didn't bother him too much. But I can't stand being treated as just a set of teeth (or in this case, a tooth).

I just feel like I'm trapped.
 
D

Davee

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2013
Messages
136
I can so relate Patricia. Yesterday the oral surgeon stopped and told me to "Relax, you're holding onto that chair pretty hard." He had performed bone grafts on me, and put in my implants during the last year. He was uncovering the implants which is supposed to be no big deal. My dentist knows I'm a phobe but he didn't, and I guess I hid it well during the other procedures. But the phobia was alive and well yesterday, and before he started, when I was in the room by myself I had to stop myself from fleeing.

Anyways, I just wanted to give you support and encourage you to get that tooth removed. It can infect the bone and cause you to lose the teeth next to it, which them becomes a big deal. You have come so far that it seems this is the last hurdle for you to achieve the dental health you deserve. Please take care of it, and if you need to hold onto the chair really tight, think of me and everyone else who can so understand these fears.
 
R

Reno

Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2014
Messages
45
I say out with the bad in with the good.......... Out with the bad tooth and in with the good feeling that nothing else needs to be done in your mouth. Just think how good you will feel not to ever have to look or think about that tooth that has given you so much pain. You can do it! Reno
 
S

Spike 1969

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 16, 2014
Messages
680
Location
Derbyshire UK
I believe it's the #13 molar (i still have my wisdom tooth, and then there's a reg. molar, and then a big ugly hole, w/ a shell of tooth around it).

I've read on here many times that teeth broken at the gum line are actually easier to remove, but I don't see how that's true in this case. It's so brittle, and I can see the roots (the bright pink RCT filler makes them visible). I'm worried he's going to have to cut into my gums to dig them all out.:cry:

I like my dentist: he's soft-spoken, and I like that he doesn't make me talk about all this stuff in the chair, and that he has a conference room for those purposes. He assured me that the rest of my teeth are very nice and healthy, and it's just this one tooth that's a problem. But he wants to refer me to a surgeon for all this stuff, and I won't have a chance to develop trust in him.

I met him once a few months ago, for my husband's wisdom tooth consult. He didn't seem mean or anything, but he just kinda came in, put his hands in my husband's mouth, poked around, and then was out the door. He didn't even sit down. My husband isn't nearly as fearful of dental procedures as I am, so it didn't bother him too much. But I can't stand being treated as just a set of teeth (or in this case, a tooth).

I just feel like I'm trapped.

I had a very similar experience where a previously root filled tooth broke off at the gum line; what I can say is that I had the roots removed under local anaesthetic and the whole process took just under 7 minutes, no cutting of the gum or hospital referral (which is something I wanted to avoid at all costs :o)

20 odd months on I am just about to get an Implant placed to replace it with my superb new dentist, I'm looking forward to the end result rather than the intermediate steps ?

Hope me this is helpful and gives some measure of reassurance.

Kind Regards
 
shamrockerin

shamrockerin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2012
Messages
750
Location
New Hampshire, USA
Thank you so much everyone for your kind words and support. It really does mean alot to me, and I am once again exceedingly grateful for this forum as a place to voice (or write, rather) my worries and fears and frustrations.

I just don't know if I can do this all again. Three years back, when this tooth broke off the first time, I ended up going on a dental journey that lasted for months, with appointments almost every week to fix everything that had gone wrong from the decade of avoidance. Anytime that I wasn't actually in the dental chair, I was consumed with the phobia, and my only relief from the mental/emotional pain of shame and fear was the physical pain I inflicted on myself as a coping mechanism. (That maladptive coping mechanism actually began in the dental chair; during the RCT for this tooth, I was not completely numb, so I ended up digging my nails into my arm so much it drew blood.)

I worked really hard over the past couple years: bought prescription toothpaste to get the maximum amount of fluoride, brushed and flossed and rinsed regularly, found a new dentist, doubled up my insurance so I could go for cleanings every three months. . .and now it's like I'm back at the beginning.

The tooth doesn't hurt (due to the RCT), and it can't even be seen unless I open my mouth wide and draw attention to it, but it's so discouraging. I just feel disgusting, and ugly- like this rotten tooth inside my mouth represents everything inside me.
 
C

chazzaroux

Former Member
I want to say how much you've inspired me and made me feel better about my decision to extract the very same tooth you are having such trouble with right now.. 8 days ago I had #13 removed due to the filling breaking off and going up to the nerve.. I was very lucky that I had no pain, I just thought it was a filling.. We have dental insurance, however my hubby just got done with a month off of work due to a work related injury, and we are tight on funds and bills are due. So I just could not afford the root canal, so my dentist immediately recommended pulling it. He is not one to pull a tooth (my husband has asked him a few times to pull a tooth that has lost it's filling, when he mentions crown, and he will refuse. will do a build up filling just to keep that tooth in my husband's gums) so when he recommended pulling it, and was serious I immediately got nervous. It was bad, worse then I could have thought.. I've never had a tooth pulled (I have had my wizzies taken out, but they never came in, and I was almost knocked out.. I remember very little of it)

there wasn't very much of the tooth remaining due to the size of filling that was in it, and I was told I would probably need a build up after the root canal to get a crown to fit. I guess the root canal would take out all the filling that was in the tooth..
I reluctantly agreed to a extraction. And after hearing your struggles to save that tooth I have to admire you! You have made the decision I made a bit easier to cope with, even with my tooth gone. I will say that the extraction process wasn't all that bad. I wouldn't volunteer for it for a fun time, but if needed it's not as bad as I thought.. My dentist shot me up with 2 huge shots of novacane and besides the tugging and of course the sounds of the tooth breaking due to the huge filling, it wasn't painful at all.. It took him about 10 mins to remove the tooth and the roots.. :XXLhug: and thank you for being the inspiration you are
 
shamrockerin

shamrockerin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2012
Messages
750
Location
New Hampshire, USA
And after hearing your struggles to save that tooth I have to admire you!

Thank you for this sentiment, but I have to be honest here: it wasn't my choice at all. I was still a minor when that tooth went bad, and it was my mom's decision to have the dentist do the filling, which led to a year of pasin, which led to RCT, which led to a crown. The whole process was one painful appt after another, and if it'd been my decision back then, I probably would have just gotten it pulled so I didn't have to keep dealing with it.

I'm still very resentful of those dentists, and them not believing that I was in pain (and thus, not helping manage it), and I am also still a little resentful towards my mom. I know she was just going along with what the professionals recommended, and I know she thought it was best, but she never understood my phobia and how those experieinces led to a decade of avoidance.

Worse, is that now she is insisting that my nieces go to the same dentist I went to. I guess she liked him alot, but then again, he wasn't working on her teeth.
 
C

chazzaroux

Former Member
I wouldn't bring my kids to my old dentist if he offered it for free! The whole place was a place of nightmares.. He wasn't as bad as his hygenist though who would hurt me at every cleaning, specially when it came time to floss.. I have very tight teeth due to crowding, due to not having a large jaw bone. and normal floss doesn't go between my teeth.. she would wrap that floss around her hands and just go to town on my teeth, when she'd come up with the floss, my whole head would lift off the chair. The floss would be covered with blood, and she's just lecture me constantly with 'well if you'd do this every day it wouldn't hurt"

And then there was that time when I had this very same tooth filled and the dentist hit the nerve! I accidentally hit him and he stopped and shot me with more novacane.. I mean I wasn't mistreated or anything, he was as kind as you could be.. but it was way back when, when drilling meant you could see and smell smoke coming out of your mouth, the smell, the sound. *shudder* Thankfully today's advances are so much better.. but yes that initial filling is what has lead me down the road I'm at now with a missing tooth... I mourned the loose of the tooth, even though there wasn't much of my original one left anymore due to the filling. I've had even had that filling replaced a few years ago, because the old silver stuff was cracking due to age.. Probably should have just had it crowned..

You still inspire me though that you had a root canal to try and save the tooth..
 
shamrockerin

shamrockerin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2012
Messages
750
Location
New Hampshire, USA
but yes that initial filling is what has lead me down the road I'm at now with a missing tooth... I mourned the loose of the tooth, even though there wasn't much of my original one left anymore due to the filling.

Thank you, Chazzaroux. I think you're exactly right when you say 'mourn.' I guess I am mourning this tooth, and it's really hard to describe why. I knew it was already decayed. I knew that the solution from 3 years ago was only a temporary fix, and that it wouldn't last forever. I knew that when it broke again, the only solution would be to have it extracted. It's not like any of this was a shock. But it still makes me very sad.:(

I should be happy to get rid of this tooth; it's been nothing but trouble. So I'm still trying to figure out why I'm mourning. I guess maybe because my mouth has been needle-free for over two years now, and I know getting it extracted means more needles in my mouth. Also, my phobia began when I was young, and I had to have some baby teeth removed. Nobody explained anything to me ahead of time, and all of a sudden there was a giant needle coming at me.:o I slapped his hand away, and ran from the room. He refused to try again with me, so my mom made me to to a diff. dentist to have them removed, and I can still remember seeing bloody bits of teeth pulled from my mouth.

I tried so hard to get control over this phobia, and now it's like I'm back at the very beginning of it all.
 

Similar threads

Top